TW
CHAPTER 33 -
ROSELYN.
"Hm?" He turned his head to his left, looking at me.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
"I-I..."
I took a deep breath.
My palms were sweaty, my voice was shaky and thin.
"I wasn't completely honest."
Erling's face changed. "What do you mean?"
He looked confused and concerned at the same time.
I didn't manage to look into his eyes.
Instead, I bent my legs and hugged them with my arms tightly.
My gaze was on my lap.
"T-this wasn't his first attack."
My voice became shakier and shakier.
"He has been beating me for months."
I didn't look at Erling, but I knew by the way how his breathing changed, that rage flooded his body.
"B-but not only that-"
I swallowed.
I didn't know how to put in words what Brody had done to me.
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
Suddenly, I felt Erling's hand gently grabbing mine.
Immediately, I turned my head to look at him and then down to our hands.
He gently caressed the back of my hand, trying to calm me down.
His warm hand touching mine, made me feel some type of way.
A good way.
"H-he's been coming into my r-room for a few months, now."
My breathing got heavier.
"He's...-he raped me...multiple times."
I couldn't help it, but break down in tears.
I withdrew my hand from Erling to use both of my hands to hide my face.
Saying those words out loud made me realize even more how fucked up it was.
This wasn't a bad dream or anything, this was my reality.
My dark and painful reality.
I didn't here Erling say anything.
At this point, I wasn't even sure, if he still was with me.
But then, suddenly, I felt him move closer to me and carefully put one arm around my shoulder.
I didn't look up, or say anything.
All I wanted, was to be held by Erling.
He was the only one who could give me comfort in a moment like this.
When he was sure, that I didn't mind his touch, he gently pulled me into his arm by, also, wrapping his other arm around me.
I rested my head on his shoulder, while being exhausted from crying.
Erling carefully ran his fingers over my upper arm, trying to calm me down and give me the comfort, I needed so desperately.
I had no idea how long i just stayed in his arms, tears dripping down my face, and my sobbing being the only sound in this room.
He didn't let go of me for one second.
He was just there.
He was all I needed right now.
All of that crying made me tired.
Therefore, it didn't take me long to fall asleep while sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall while being held by him.
The next time, I opened my eyes, I was still in Erling's bed.
But, it wasn't sitting anymore.
I laid on his bed, flat.
To my right, Erling was sleeping next to me.
One of his arms was still around me, holding me tight, even though, he was asleep.
A blanket was spread out on top of us.
I remembered what I told him.
That I told him about Brody.
I didn't regret it, but the thought of him knowing, made me feel miserable.
I tried not to think about it, but just close my eyes again and fall back to sleep again.
After, what felt like an eternity, I opened my eyes again and immediately felt sunbeams shining through the window.
I turned my head away from the window to my right, where I thought I'd find Erling.
But he wasn't here, anymore.
I sat up on the bed and ran my hands through my hair, sleepy.
I was kinda scared to get up and look for Erling.
After what I told him last night, I didn't know how he would react to me.
We immediately fell asleep, so we didn't have a chance to talk before.
I was scared, worried and confused at the same time.
I had no idea what I should do.
Brody wouldn't just give up, would he?
What about my mom?
Did she even care, I was gone?
Where did she go anyway, after yesterday?
She left, probably.
Left without a word, without even trying to help me at all.
I wasn't surprised at all.
Suddenly, the door of the room opened slowly.
Instantly, I turned my head into the direction of the the door and looked at Erling, who had just walked in.
When he noticed my gaze, he stopped walking and just looked at me, silently.
I swallowed.
Had I been right?
Does he look at me differently, now that he knows?
Losing him as a friend would mean, I'd be alone.
Alone with my problems.
Alone with Brody and my life.
And to be honest?
I didn't believe, I'd be able to continue like this.
As sad as it sounded, my soul felt lifeless.
It only needed one final, cruel thing to happen, that I would give up completely.
"Hey." He softly said in a rough voice.
For the first time, I looked behind him, where I discovered a sports bag. I watched him lift the sports bag up and putting it down on his side of the bed, while I was still sitting up on the bed on the window side.
Confused, I looked at the sports bag and then up to Erling's face.
My eyes widened, when I spot a scratch on Erling's neck.
One that had been bleeding probably not too long ago.
"W-what happened?" I asked.
Erling turned his face to me, when I spoke up.
He followed my gaze to figure out what I was talking about. He felt his neck and then stopped at the scratch, I was talking about.
"Nothing serious."
"That wasn't my question." I expected the worst of the worst.
Erling looked at me for a moment in silence before sighing and opening up the sports bag.
When he did, a bunch of clothes flashed my eyes.
Not any clothes, my clothes.
"Where d-did you get those from?"
"From your room."
Erling ran his hand through his hair.
"W-w-what? Wait, were you...were you there?"
My heart picked up speed and I felt a shiver overcome my body.
He looked at me and nodded, slowly.
I could see in his face that he knew how much it affected me.
"Wh-why? Why would you do that..?"
My voice was thin.
He went there without letting me know.
He should've told me.
"I had to get my motorcycle." He answered calmly. "And some of your clothes."
"My clothes? Why?"
"What do you mean, why?" He looked at me a little confused. "Did you think, I'd let you go back into that house?"
I swallowed.
I did.
That's my home.
Where was I supposed to go if not my home?
Erling took my silence as confirmation.
He sat down on the side of the bed and looked at me.
"You can stay here, Rose. For as long as you want to."
"But your parents...what...-"
"I told you, they're fine with it." He looked at me comforting. I looked down at my hands and began to control my breathing more.
"Was he there?"
When Erling didn't react to my question within seconds, I looked up at his face, only to find him looking down to his hands, which were clenched.
"Yeah."
"And he did that?" I gestured to the scratch on his neck.
Erling looked away from his hands and looked at me.
"Dunno."
Erling licked his lips and looked away. "He must've got me while I was beating the shit out of him.", he mumbled almost incomprehensible, but I was still able to hear it.
"What did you do?" I said, shocked.
Erling sighed. "Let's not talk about it, Rose. We can grab something to eat, or..-"
"No." I said with teary eyes. "You-you can't just walk up to him and beat him up. He's-he's dangerous and he's violent." I swallowed. "You're only getting yourself into trouble."
"Rose, he deserves every fuckin' beating in this world, if not more."
His voice was raging.
Not towards me, I knew that.
But it was unusual to hear his voice sound so angry and frustrated.
I began to sniffle as tears made themselves felt.
He was right, absolutely.
But was it worth it?
"I don't give a fuck about any consequences, okay?"
With each word his voice became softer and warmer again. He looked at me with his deep, blue eyes.
I sniffled, again before wiping away tears with my index finger.
"Okay." I whispered, shakily.
Erling carefully moved closer while not stopping to look into my eyes.
He was sitting in front of me, but with his feet still stamped on the floor, which was only possible because they were so god damn long.
In his eyes, I saw so much pureness, kindness and love.
I didn't know, if I was being naive for believing he was different.
Different from literally any boy, I've ever met.
He was just so much more than just a pretty book cover.
He was a passionate and beautiful story that I wanted to read again and again.