"You soo like him," Angie teased him as soon as they were far enough from the diner. A few hours passed quickly and now they were on their way home.
"I don't," he protested immediately. He knew it was a lie, but once again he relied on his favourite rule. If she would believe it, he had to, too.
"You were practically smiling at him the whole night. And you talked. Like a lot," she also had some objections prepared. Evan knew she was right again, but he wasn't going to admit it out loud.
"So what?" he tried to sound like he didn't care about what she thought, but the truth was, he cared a lot. Angie knew him almost as much as he knew himself, and if she thought that something was going on between the two of them, he was damned. After this fiasco, he really had to start avoiding him.
"You like him. Just admit it," she tried again. Evan was starting to get mad at her. Not only did she force him to meet him, but now she was also teasing him.
"I don't like him, alright? Yes, I can talk to him, and I don't think he's boring, but that's it," he didn't know who he was trying to convince more, her or himself. He was fully mad now, but more on himself since he left his guards down around him, and it was too late to build his walls back up. Ryan saw his true self and didn't mind. In any other situation, this would be a reason for Evan to smile.
"Uh-huh." The stupid sound she made irritated him even more. She always had to be right, and Evan wasn't having it anymore. His life was falling apart, and she was clearly enjoying it. He didn't know why he even called her his best friend.
"Fine, don't trust me. I don't care," he snapped at her and started running. He desperately wanted to be home as soon as possible without any other stupid conversations. He had enough for one night.
The thoughts in his head screamed one over the other, clouding his judgment. Evan was relying on autopilot as he had long since forgotten to watch the road ahead. His mind was screaming, his heart was racing, and Evan felt as if his soul wanted to be torn in two and returned to its original half. He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream so loud until he lost his vocal cords. Maybe that would also silence the voices in his head.
Tears pooled in his eyes, and he fell to his knees. He had no idea what to do. He knew it was all his fault. He was the one who decided to play with fate and fight against his nature. He hated it. He hated every second of his life when he was alone with his mind. It was never on his side, and he had had enough.
He automatically took his phone out of his pocket but stopped. He knew who he wanted to call and had no doubt that he would pick up the phone even at this hour, but Evan knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't take his problems out on Kieran, let alone lie to him. Kieran was his safety net, his light at the end of the tunnel, and he couldn't screw it up. He simply couldn't.
Speaking of light, it was only the darkness around him that made him realize where he was. He braced his feet on the ground, stood up unsteadily and rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. This was no place for a nervous breakdown. Anyone could walk by and see him. Again, he set off in silence towards home. He wasn't running this time, but his steps weren't slow either. He wanted to be home as soon as possible and forget that this day even happened.
Halfway home, Evan finally realized Angie did it on purpose. That stupid hoe arranged this meeting, so she could see how he would act around Ryan. Of course, it was a piece of cake for her to find out where Ryan and Michael used to hang out. Actually, she didn't even have to look for, because Evan himself told her.
That thought made him even angrier. She used his word against him. She knew how he felt. She knew he was worried about meeting him, but she did it anyway. She didn't care what it would cause. What else could he expect from her?
Evan's thoughts left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Fortunately, he was finally home.
He slammed the front door, not caring about the fact his parents might be sleeping. He was too agitated to care about anything else. Speaking of parents, his father immediately came out of the kitchen to see why the hell was his son doing noise at such a late hour.
"Did something happen?" his father asked, visibly confused with his actions. He sounded a little too concerned, although he was obviously disturbed by the slamming of the door. Other times Evan would have been thrilled that one of his parents had finally shown interest in him, but right now he didn't care.
He wanted to tell his father that something had happened. Something that rocked his world, but their relationship was not in a state where he could confide in him. Evan's perfect plan, the illusion of his happy flawless life with him in charge of it was slowly falling apart. And it took him only one day to ruin it. Just one! What was he thinking? Evan felt so stupid. Hanging out with his mate, acting like they were some kind of friends, there had to be consequences. He felt like crying.
He couldn't let that happen. He had to do something. He had to take control again. He couldn't be little pathetic Evan forever.
"Actually, yes. It did." He reconsidered the idea in his head for a second, but not changing his mind, he continued. "I had another vision. I think my mate is in Marwell, so I want your permission to hang out there more often. I already talked to Angie, she will accompany me, so you don't have to worry." The moment this lie flew out of his mouth, he regretted it, but immediately pushed this feeling to the back of his mind. There was no time for regret. Angie was clearly no longer on his side, so he had to take matters into his own hands.
"Are you sure?" His father didn't look convinced, but Evan knew how seriously he took the mate business, so he knew he could win this if he pushed hard enough. Lying wasn't something he did often, but this time it was necessary. At least that's what he tried to tell himself.
"100 percent, dad," he lied on the spot again. His eyes met his dads', and he was trying so hard to not drop his gaze to the ground, so he wouldn't see right through him. His father was the one who at least occasionally paid attention to him, and it made Evan feel even worse that he was lying to him.
"Alright. I'll talk to your mom. Anything for your happiness." He smiled at him, putting both of his palms on him shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze. The fake smile Evan performed hurt his cheeks, but not as much as his heart did. Evan had no one to trust and if he continued like this no one could trust him either.
To the disinterested observer it might seem like a precious moment between dad and son, but it was all built on a lie. The guilt was slowly crawling up Evan's gut, but he knew he was doing the right thing. At least the right thing for his sanity. Unfortunately, the last pieces of the trust between his dad and him were part of the unavoidable collateral damage. Evan knew that eventually he would have to sacrifice everything, but he had no idea that the moment would come so soon.