THE OTHER BROTHER
CHAPTER 7
SKHOSANE
He woke up with a banging headache from all the sniveling that had happened all night. How did he get here again? He should remind himself. He went willing to her home and dumped her right after confessing his love for her. He sharply closes his eyes and glances at his phone. Khanyisile hasn’t tried to contact him and that hurts to the core. Will he survive after this break up? How will he even look at her fully knowing that he's about to be married to her sister. Sighs! He gets off the bed and holds his head with a picture of her stumped reaction after leaving her standing there. He was not a man enough to sit her down and tell her the reason behind the breakup. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself into doing it. He is so shattered - it feels like his heart has cracked inside his chest. The knock on the door had jolted him out of the memory of sorrow. It could be his mother – he thought. Today, he is not really in the mood for her. That woman can flaunt something meaningless and gobbledegook. It's his mother yes, but sometimes he wonders how she raised her kids when she has such poor motherly skills. Maybe she should go back to colleague and learn a thing or two.
“Come in.” He says in a wistful tone. The door cracks open and surprisingly today it's his father. His father smiles a little and sits on the plastic chair that is beside the bed.
“Son.” His father Gumede greets. Skhosane sighs in exhaustion and takes a deep breath. He can't possibly eat and drink this stupid agreement of marriage. Can’t he be left alone just for a second without being reminded all the God damn time!
“Baba.” They fall into comfortable silence. Why is the old man here if he has nothing to say?
“I ended things with her.” Skhosane breaks the ice. He shamefully looks down and gloomy takes over. Everything is bursting his head to the outmost pain.
“How are you feeling about that?” Gumede asks, looking at his son intensely. As if he cares. It's all about satisfying them and their needs. They never cared about him in the first place.
“Heartbroken. Lonely and empty.” Skhosane.
“I understand where you are coming from.” Skhosane tilts his head to his father and looks at him. What does he understand when he is happily married to an annoying wife.
“What do you mean?” He asks. They have never really had a heart-to-heart conversation before. Their conversation is always based on general stuff. Livestock that was stolen. Drama within the community. Come to think of it, he has never sat down with his father and have a civilized chat with him; This right here, is very strange to him.
“We all lose the one’s we love son. But we must suck it up and grow to love the ones that are Infront of ours.”
“I still don’t get you baba.”
Gumede chucks. “You are still young to understand. Some love might always scratch at your heart. Some relationships, especially those that were an integral part of growth at pivotal times in our lives, thread through the inner makings of who we become. Letting go of a meaningful love can make you feel like you’re also letting go of everything it once was. But try to take the opportunity to acknowledge the good things about the relationship, including anything you might have learned from it. Validate those feelings. Give them space in your heart.” Just like that he stands up and leaves him swimming in thoughts. Now that is a statement he doesn’t understand. Confusion... He will not dwell on it. He has bigger issues to deal with. He needs to go out for a run before the sun gets to be extremely out.
With his headphones buried deep into his ears with DVSN playing on loud range. Running has always made him calmer and made him think rationally. Right now, he believes he made a wise and bright decision. Yes, it hurts but there was no other way to slip his motion into it. Unfortunately, an innocent heart was meant to be hurt in the end. He will be taking another route, surely Khanyisile is on her way to school. He couldn’t bear to see her face. The hurt in her eyes. That tiny, sweet voice of hers. His chest burns. The pace slows down as he holds his chest through the burning sensation. Maybe going out for a jog was not a good idea. He options to make a U-turn and go home. He turns and slowly walks on the side of the road. He is dizzy. A car parks further away from him but the driver reverses...
“Are you oaky?” Asks a woman in the car. She hops out when she notices him struggling to breathe. She advises him to do some breathing exercises until his breathing goes back to normal. He tilts his head up and looks at the woman Infront of his eyes. He freezes on the spot and takes a close look at her. He cannot mistake her at any cost. He staggers back losing balance, but the woman was fast enough to catch him.
“Halo. Are you okay?” The woman asks again.
“Just having hard time to breath. I feel dizzy.” He says.
“Where do you stay?”
“Just down the road.” Skhosane.
“Okay, since I’m going that side will give you a lift. Come, let me help you.” She wraps her arm around his waist leading him to the car...
With him directing him home. He has picked up that she is a smooth driver. Looks so sophisticated and focused. She is nothing like Khanyisile. Khanyi is soft and quiet. This one look like she's...
“Do you know another Gumede homestead around here?” She asks still focused on the road.
“No.” She nods her head and continues to drive. He wonders why she asked that question out of all questions. Could this be she doesn’t know? “On that right, that is my home.” He points out a three-bedroom house with a rondavel. One of the houses that is not in good shape. She parks the car by the fallen gate and glances at him. This is the point where he needs to get out of the car, but he is sitting there just looking at her without saying anything. They went to the same school. She was always an A student. Most kids envied her, but she knew what she wanted. At that time Khanyi was in primary school.
“I believe we have arrived.” She reminds him. The shame in him. He collects himself and clears his throat.
“Yea, thank you for the lift.” He opens the door. His mother is already by the gate looking at the car intensely with wonder. He closes the door and thanks her one last time before driving off. He takes a deep breath and walks past his mother. He is in no mood to answer any question she will throw at him. The sun is already up, and he will need to prepare himself for the day.
“Who is that?” She asks. Isn't a bit too early to be playing detective. She was sweeping the yard, she shall continue. Not sticking her nose into businesses that do not concern her.
“No one.” He responds and continues to walk. The aim is to reach his bedroom and lock himself.
“I have seen that car before.” This woman is now right behind him. She is not going to let this go. Rather tell her so she could be out of his case. He slows down and turns to face his mother who had her hands on her hips.
“That is Thabisile. Khanyi’s sister.” The smile on her face grows wider than any other day. Strange!
“Does that mean you two have decided to go ahead with the agreement? Your father would be so proud of you son.” She squeals in excitement. The confusion in him. So, their marriage will be based on an agreement. He shakes his head and heads straight to his bedroom. He needs to be alone.
MKHUSELI
“No, please. Do me instead and not my mother.” He cries and begs the man. The old man goes on and on without care. With his tiny hands he holds the man's leg trying to rescue his mother. A big foot lands on his stomach – he curls himself into a ball and groans in agony. His mother's piercing cries. The fact that he is failing to protect her. He watched the man...
He wakes up panting and gaging for air. He looks at his surroundings and notices that he slept in his office while working. Saliva fills his mouth; he rushes to the toilet and lets everything out. He empties his stomach with every strength in him. He rinses his mouth on the sink and looks at the reflection of him in the mirror. The sight was disgusting. The dream has been there ever since the trauma happened. He still smells and sees everything vividly in his dreams. He was a child when it happened, but he could not leave the trauma. He was only ten years old when all of this happened. He is stuck in the rumination filled with repeated negative thoughts about the events of that faithful day. Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering. He has come to terms with the fact that he can't undo the damage caused to his life. He washes his face with cold water and then wipes it with a paper towel. The knock on the door. He steps out from the toilet and heads straight to the couch. He doesn’t have the strength of the person who is at the door.
“Come in.” He shouts. His PA walks in carrying a cup of coffee. Just what he needed. He smiles sitting up straight.
“It's like you read my mind. I really needed this. My body is so tired, I just don’t have any energy in me. Maybe it's because I miss home.”
“I knew you would need one. You have been buried with work since morning, you should take some time out and free your mind.” She says.
“Surprisingly I was asleep and not working.” She says placing the cup of coffee on the table.
“You should take some time out, I repeat. You work a lot nawe. You have a meeting a few.” How did I forget the important meeting! I should go through the document phase before I embarrass myself...
This is the problem when it comes to being a bachelor. Doing the chores has never been my thing really. Cooking is one of the things I hate doing the most. That is why he prefers a stay-in-helper to do all this for me. Maybe ordering in will do. There is no way that he will be eating noodles. He grabs his phone and orders in.
Lazing around watching soccer – bored to death. Cape Town is not his favorite place to be. The weather changes like a camelion. A knock on the door has him growling in annoyance. It might be the delivery guy. He stands up and fixes his t-shirt. Opens the door and finds the delivery man standing by the door. He takes what's his and closes the door after paying giving the man a huge fat tip.
This morning I woke up missing my brother. The whole day has been souring for me, maybe it’s one of those days that I get to feel under the weather. If only Mkhuleko could be the man, I want him to be. I want a brother I will run this business with and a brother I will watch soccer with. Guns are far from being my favorite toy. Maybe I would have shared what I feel inside. The pain I sometimes go through. The heartache I face because of the past trauma. Too bad I can't even get a hold of him. It's him that gets to contact us. I don’t know how he makes it to have a simple life in jail. I shake my head and get off the bed – I stand by the window and look at the beautiful city. The windows are open allowing the fresh breeze to fill the house. My mind trails back to the girl I once knocked down. Her innocent face. I sigh closing the windows. I doubt she is even eighteen. Shes too young. I need to stop thinking about her – she is still a toddler after all. My stomach grumbles. I need to make a quick snack – I woke up feeling hungry. I still have leftovers from that pizza I bought earlier on. My phone rings from the kitchen. I don’t remember leaving it there. It’s Mkhuleko. The smile on my face...
“Ndoda.” I greet.
“Ntwana.” I hate it when he calls me like that.
“Was just thinking about you.” Moment of silence. I miss him.
“Hmmm.” I know he has a weird way of showing me brotherly love. He would rather show it by flaunting money than saying it with his mouth. I chuck. “I saw her.”
“Who?” I ask.
“Never mind. I was just checking up on you. Pass my greetings to mother.” The line goes dead. Okay – that was the craziest call ever. But nonetheless I heard his voice, and he is okay wherever he is. Maybe my upcoming days will go on smoothly. I wonder which girl he is talking about? Last time I remember he was with that Violet. Ow now I remember the cellphone chick.
MKHULEKO
Her smile still occupies my mind. Her smell still harbors up my nostrils. This girl is making me weak just by thinking about her. What's so special about her that it has me so wrapped up around her little finger? I punch the wall and seethe my teeth in pain. I think I broke a bone. I get off the bed and pace up and down. The fact that she says she is being bullied by some teacher triggers a lot of emotions. That woman will wish to have never messed with what is mine. I look at my phone.
‘Change of plans. Do a background check on Miss Nkambule. Let me know if you find something.’ Disfiguring her face is not an option. I want something that will make her sink into taking her own bloody life. A message comes through and it’s Khuzani.
‘She Iives with her parents and her sister....’ I continue to read the text about Khanyisile. I want someone to tail her at all times. Now that we bumped into each other – it was easier for me to track her down with her last name provided. The problem is - I cannot be close to her due to the line of work I’m in. I hear commotion from outside. Whispers of a dead body found. That took them long enough to find him. I lay my back on my bed and take time looking at Khanyisile’s picture wearing her school uniform. It was captured right inside the school premises. A small smile creeps on my face. Women are devils, that I now believe!