"Did you paint your nails?" His gaze fell on his freshly painted black nails. Secretly, he made them the indicator of his internal feud. And although the storm was normally mostly grey, his was reflected in shades of black.
Angie used the same colour when she decided to destroy his fragile toxic masculinity and showed him a new world where there were other possibilities than stereotypes.
Evan wanted to show everyone he wasn't the obeying little boy anymore, at least he hoped he wasn't, and painting his nails was the first thing that came to his mind. It worked once, and Evan believed they would help him feel better again.
"Yep," he answered even when it was obvious.
"I'm proud." He smiled at Angie, happy with her statement. He knew that even if he lost everyone, she would be on his side no matter what. They argued a lot, bickering about trivial things, but they always had each other's back. Plus, if he ever decided to change his whole look instead of painting his nails, Angie would be the first to cheer him on.
"You should. I'm protesting," he confided in her. She glanced at him, obviously confused. It wasn't something that often occurred – him being happy and her frowning.
"Against?" Angie asked. Evan could imagine how the wheels in her head danced in search of an answer that did not come. Angie knew him best, but sometimes he managed to surprise even her.
"My parents, my mate, you choose." He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. He didn't say more, but he knew she was going to ask right away.
"Your mate?" Her eyebrows shot up.
"Yeah, I know who he is." After his statement, she shrieked so loudly that he had to cover his ears. Not that it helped him since she started shaking him in a second.
"And you still haven't told me? C'mon, I wanna know." Angie looked super excited, like a kid who was promised candy. Except, this time, it wasn't candy but a life-changing secret. And she loved secrets.
"Who's the worst person you can imagine?" He wouldn't tell her right away. He just loved to mock her. Although it was a serious topic, he still took it as an opportunity to tease her.
"Please, tell me it's not Michael." She looked horrified. He couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't far from the truth, though. He didn't know what he would do if his mate was indeed Michael. It was practically a nightmare of his. Now he was supposed to be with only his family.
"Nah, but you got the last name right," he decided to give her a hint.
"It'd better not be his father." Now it was Evan's turn to be taken aback. He may have had daddy issues, but he certainly didn't want any daddy. Just the thought didn't do him any good.
"Have you gone mad?" he asked her, still shocked by her statement.
"What did you expect? You said Saunders, but not Michael." She shrugged as if it was an obvious choice. Evan sighed. He could expect that from her.
"Try younger," he suggested.
"Ryan Saunders? Are you sure?" She seemed sceptical. He wasn't surprised, he couldn't believe it either when he first found out. It sounded unreal, like the last option that was hiding in the back of his head. Like the test answers, you're trying to find, but at that very moment, they decided to go on vacation to Narnia.
"Like 99 percent sure," he answered honestly. There was still a chance that he was wrong, but it was so small that even Angie's brain was bigger. Michael didn't have many friends and definitely not many who were named Ryan.
"How did you find out?" she asked, and he knew that once he told her, she would get super mad. She always told him when she had a vision, and she definitely thought that he did too. Evan was mentally preparing for her reaction.
"I had this vision months ago and another one today." It was the shortest period between two visions he ever experienced. Maybe because he got a specific clue that could actually help him find his mate if another one pointed him in the right direction. And that's exactly what happened.
"And you didn't tell me?" she looked genuinely mad. Evan wasn't surprised, he predicted this exact reaction, but he hoped she would quickly forget her anger since he has told her the exact name of his mate. It was a topic she couldn't just ignore, and thus she couldn't ignore her best friend either.
"I wanted to, but I was scared," he answered sincerely, "I wanted to be okay with it first, and then I would tell you. I'm telling you now, don't I?" His voice lacked the stability it usually had. Evan felt like a little kid who had just confessed to breaking his mom's favourite vase.
"So you're okay with Ryan being your mate?" Angie queried. The volume of her voice dropped substantially to match his. Both were aware of the seriousness of the topic, but neither had any idea what it meant to the other.
"I can't change it, can I?" He didn't give her a direct answer. He was still processing it, and as he said – he couldn't change it. It all happened so quickly that he didn't know what to do with this information. All he knew was that he couldn't keep this secret to himself, but he had to share it with someone. And who was better than his best friend?
"What about Kieran?" His face turned into a grimace. He had no idea why he didn't expect that question. Somehow, thinking about Kieran in this situation didn't feel important. He wasn't planning on breaking things off with him nor telling him because it meant he would have to tell him his other secret, which he couldn't.
Evan felt bad, but a part of him kept yelling at him that nothing had to change.
"What about him?" he tried to sound unbothered. His feelings for Kieran were undeniable, but at the same time, forbidden. He couldn't follow them when making decisions. It wasn't right, even he knew that. His heart wanted one thing, his soul another, and both were counting on his mind to come up with the right answer. Evan felt lost.
"Are you serious?"
"It's not like I can tell him. Besides, nothing has to change, right?" He knew it was an easy decision, and easy didn't usually mean right, but he was too exhausted to question it. His own feelings were draining him.
"You're not going to tell Ryan?" She was asking him question after question, and he was giving her answers on the spot. He didn't want to think about it more because he knew he could easily panic and change his mind. He was stubborn, but right now he was grasping at anything that could save him from this mess. And maybe he just thought that if he says the first thing that comes to his mind, it will mean that he really means it.
"No. If he wants me, he'll find me himself. According to my last vision, he's currently in North Hallson, so nothing is stopping him." He shrugged. He tried to make light of the situation, but he knew that he would not stay calm for long. Fortunately, years ago he decided to go to school outside of their town, and that was the only thing saving him right now. If Ryan wanted to meet him, he had to find him first. And not in North Hallson, where Evan spent most of his time in his home.
"If that's what you want," Angie said, her voice defeated. Evan knew her well enough to know that she strongly disagreed with his decision, but she didn't want to take away his choice. She knew that was the last thing he would want. She could give him advice, but it was up to him to take it.
"I just want to have a chance to be myself before I become his boy toy," he reasoned. He was exaggerating, but it was better than underestimating him. Ryan was a wolf, after all, and Evan had to assume he shared ideals with most of their kind.
"Just be happy, E. That's all I'm asking." She reached out and held his hands in hers. In moments like this, he was so glad she was his best friend. Angie supported him, and she got him, and it sometimes made him sad that she wasn't his mate.