PLS PUT YOUR PLAYLIST HERE
"Death is not the end death can never be the end. Death is the road. Life is the traveller. The Soul is the Guide." – Sri Chinmoy
I am dead.
--- Without an antidote, my body would have shut down in a matter of minutes.
At least I died doing something honorable.
I saved my family.
My grandma and aunt didn't deserve to be put in this situation.
They didn't deserve to die.
They were tricked, conned into coming to Wake Forest as an act of kindness to reunite the family in one room.
It was supposed to be a beautiful act of kindness that turned into a bloody disaster.
All Mary-Anne wanted was for her son to be happy.
-Reuniting us, under his request, was supposed to do that.
He said he would be happy again, but he's a soulless man.
He doesn't see us; his family, as people. WE are an object. WE'RE his plaything,.
While individuals are able to have the ability to choose his or her own path in life without fear of repercussions, he's choosing our bidding. He's dictating our path.
He's choosing our death.
I don't have any regrets because I did what I knew was right.
-----No matter the cost to me.
There will be no engagement or wedding.
No having kids or watching over the grandkids. It's funny how that became something I actually would have looked forward to. ------I said I didn't want any children after Scarlett. -----It would have been nice in hindsight.
I'll miss being robbed of a life I could have had.
**
My death was quick but there was pain. My entire body shook uncontrollably from head to toe. I felt my body suffocate, my organs clenching for the very last time---and then there was sudden relief. ----Weight lifted from my entire body.
There was even that white light everyone talks about before death but I didn't end up outside the gates of heaven like I was hoping for. Honestly, I was hoping to be rewarded for my change in behavior and my heroism. I'm not religious or anything but I'm pretty sure I heard once that you get repayed according to your deeds. Is saving 2 lives classified as a worthy deed? I sure thought so.
I ended up appearing in some alternative universe. Strange I know but--it wasn't a scary kind of place. The only way I can explain this place to you is by saying ---imagine your perfect world. What would you see in your perfect world? Who would be there? Where would you be?
In this world--there was my mom, me and a guy named Doug. My mom finally has a decent fiancé in this universe.
We lived in large, two-story home that was painted beige. It had a beautiful white picket fence wrapped around the property, and a wrap-around porch. In the front of the house was a beautiful garden of red roses. Red roses means love, longing or desire. Could my universe be playing a cruel joke on me? ----Finally love in a home and love from my mother? Wouldn't that be nice.
"I'll make the salad." I tell my mom as I pulled the lettuce out from the fridge.
"Wonderful, and I'll start on the meatloaf." My mom said as we worked side by side. "You think Doug will like it?"
"Men like meat, mom. He'll love it." I gave her a small smile.
Even in this universe my mother worked desperately hard to always make a good impression.
----Always make her man happy and she's happy.
"I'm just so nervous that's all... This meal is kind of the last important one. Next meal I make for him and we'll be married."
"Relax. He's not going to end the engagement and cancel the wedding over having meatloaf over steak." Doug already has enough steak working in business as a CEO. He has steak for every business meeting they have catered.
They even have catered lunches on a normal day as well.
His company is awesome.
"I know I'm being worried over nothing but you know how important this is to me. Everything has to be perfect, Maisie. I can't let this be the one that got away. " My mom looked worried.
"He's not going anywhere, mom. He's a good man that loves you just as much, or even more than you love him."
My mom smiled and went to the cupboards to find a plastic bowl. "Let's just hope you find someone--one day, that will love just the same."
I had someone like that:
Kind.
Caring.
Not the greatest cook.
Dedicated to work. He was always trying to help others and in my case, save me from my self.
Dedicated to me. ----Completely convinced that he probably loved me more.
"If some people are unsure in their relationship then maybe they need to hear that, but Mais, I'm not insecure." He sits down on the bed, and reaches for my hand. He gives me a tug towards him and pulls me into his lap. He hooks his arms around my waist and says in a serious but sure tone, "I know what we have, Maisie Brooks. I know that you love me and you know that I probably love you more."
"Ah, so you think" I say with a laugh. "You think you love me more?"
"I hate to play the age card, but I am older then you. Older, wiser, you know how that works," he teased, as he kissed my forehead. "---While you have been waiting for the perfect time to tell me you loved me, I've already been thinking about our wedding. So, whose winning you think?"
He wanted a future with me and I wanted the same.
We both were robbed of a future together.