Drunk
I'm not a crybaby.
Well, okay, maybe I am-but just a little.
I may have mentioned this already before but I really seldom cry. One of the few moments that I would shed a tear is either something bad really happened, I'm having my period or I was too hurt. And right now, I am the latter.
I wasn't hurt just because I heard his voice. I wasn't hurt because I missed him so much. I wasn't hurt that I kind of regret everything. Truth is, I am hurt because when I was about to take all my pride back and say those words to him, something made me stop.
It's seem like the whole universe is against us making up and getting back together.
"I miss you, baby." I admit there was that fluttery yet painful feeling at the pit of my stomach when I heard him say that. God knows how overwhelmed I was because I was surprisingly hearing him the same way I can hear my own emotions.
"I miss you too, baby." I wanna say that. Damn, I badly want to say those words back. my throat hurts suppressing the overwhelming feeling in my gut but something seemed to broke the damn of hot fresh tears when someone spoke from the background.
"Sey, you still comin' in?" it was a voice of a woman.
I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
No matter how unfamiliar the voice was, like it could belong to anybody else, but I only have one suspicion that the owner of the voice was...
I'm afraid to find out whom.
Pierre didn't was silent for a while until I heard him heave a sigh. "Just a sec, Bri."
Bri.
How can a three letter name hurt me so bad?
I tried composing myself from the unstoppable tears my eyes kept on emitting but I just can't. The best thing I can do right now is to be silent and not let him know I'm crying.
"Baby." I heard Pierre breathe from the other line. "Please say something." he basically pleads and that's it. I couldn't take it anymore.
Without any more words to say, I turned off my phone and buried my face onto my pillow.
I cried, and cried, and cried until I have no more tears to shed.
It hurts.
How can he be with the reason why we aren't okay right now?
She's his first love, Ronnie. D to the U to the H! DUH!
I gulp. The thought made me cry even more.
It's okay, Ronnie. Cry it all right now. And tomorrow, when you wake up, you'll be fine. Damn, you'll be better than you ever was.
Fuck. I sounded so bitter.
But maybe this is what a real broken heart leads me.
My eyes sting the next morning because of too much crying. It was already dawn break when my eyes finally had enough of crying and decided to call it done. Hopefully, everything will get better now since I've taken out all my feelings and hurting.
I am fine now... at least I'd like to think I was.
Since I slept late last night, it was already noon when I woke up.
I was still feeling a little bit down but I've already expected this.
Maybe I'm just having my separation anxiety.
Everybody experiences this once you get too attached to something or someone and suddenly you just find it different and... bothersome when you're not with them/it. And as for Pierre, I'd like to think that it's true.
Maybe. Maybe, I got really carried away. Maybe I got really too attached. Yeah, maybe.
I took a bath and I wanted to chastise myself that even at those little things, even nonsensical and irrelevant, I still found way to connect it with Pierre and then I'd end up missing him more.
Ugh! To be honest, it's really frustrating!
While I was eating brunch, I heard car engines from outside the house. It seemed like someone had just arrived and I think I know who they were... or who was it.
"Hey, sweetheart." An equally regal blonde who's in her mid forties came into the kitchen wearing her pastel colored three piece skirt-coat suit.
"Mom." I greeted her with a surprise face then later turn into a smile-a genuine one.
She came up to me and hugged me sideways.
"Why are you eating here in the kitchen, sweety? Where is Martha? I told her to take care of you." She asked annoyed searching the whole room for our head mistress.
I held her by her hand and smiled at her. "It's okay, mom. I was the one who told them I'd rather eat here than in that vast empty hall you call dining room." I pouted.
The thing about me and my parents is, no matter how they, most of the time, made me feel neglected, whenever they aren't around, is the total opposite when they are.
That's why I couldn't get mad at them. They really make me feel complete especially when they come home and eat with me lunch or breakfast. I missed this. I missed them.
"But sweetie, that's what it's made for." She practically preaches then smiled affectionately at me.
I just gave her a closed lip smile as if telling her I'm resigning into the argument. Instead, I just changed the topic and asked them about their business trip abroad.
"Where's dad?" I asked her when after a few moments dad still hasn't got into the manor.
For a fleet of seconds I think I saw something in my mother's eyes. I may have not named that unknown emotion or I may have just been imagining things but I feel like something's off.
"He has a lunch meeting with the board, sweetie." She combed my hair using her fingers, avoiding eye contact.
"Will he be home by dinner?" I asked her.
"Why don't you call him then?"She suggested. Hmmn, maybe I can do that. Besides, I'm not just doing this for me but for my family. They may not tell me what exactly is happening inside this manor but I think we just lack of bonding and quality time.
I did call my dad but I kept getting into his voicemail and so instead I called his assistant, Joan.
"ERB is currently in a meeting, Miss." Said the woman from the other line, base from the medium of her voice I think she's a little bit older than me-but not too old, maybe in her mid thirties.
"Oh, okay. When they're done, can you tell dad to call me?"
"Absolutely, Miss."
"Thanks, Joan." And I hung up.
"So?" Mom pried. She has now changed into some comfy outfit.
"He's still in a meeting." I told her. She just shrugged but managed to keep that smile onto her immaculate face.
I didn't bother asking. Whatever my parents are keeping from me, they can handle it themselves. I believe they will tell me everything when they're ready to talk about it.
I hope it isn't late for that.
The next day, I woke up still feeling that huge hole in my chest but compared than yesterday, I feel lighter. Maybe my parents' presence did help. Somehow, I don't feel that alone anymore.
My and I were eating our breakfast when dad came downstairs. He's already wearing his three piece Armani suit and attaché case.
"Good morning, beautiful." He greeted us. My dad's in his late forties but despite being aged, he'd still managed to look as dashing as he is in his youth. He walked up to mom and kissed her forehead. He did the same to me.
"Breakfast, dad." I offered him. He blinked at me first then glanced at his Rolex wristwatch then sighed.
"I'd love to, sweetie, but I'm already running late for my breakfast meeting. I'll see at dinner, okay?" he kissed my hair one last time and before I could react, he was already out the door.
I glanced at my mom as if asking what happened, she just kept her silence and kept on eating.
I did the same-despite the feeling like something's wrong, I still finished my food. I hope my parents would fix their problem.
When I was done with my usual morning, Robert drove me off to school.
But something must be really not right, because as I make my way to my first class, everyone were whispering while looking at me as if I had committed a crime or something.
I bit my lip and tried so hard to ignore those scowls and glares I've been receiving. I don't know what happened why everyone seemed interested in me suddenly.
When I got into class, the first thing I noticed was a stem of white rose sitting on my table. Slowly, I made my way towards my seat and read the card together with the rose. My heart was ramming my chest as if begging to get out. I don't want to assume if it's for me, but if it is, I don't know anyone who would give me a rose.
Well-actually I do. I think I already have someone in my mind who would give me this, and the thought that it's him made me excited.
Let me make it up for you, friend. :)
-N
That's just it, and all my hopes and the fluttery feeling at the pit of my stomach crumbled down. It was just an initial but I only know one person who starts with letter N.
Nikko.
And just then that it all clicked into me. That's why everyone was looking at me, talking at me, and sending death glares at me-it's because of Nikko.
Now, this is why he's been really stressed over the matter. It's because of this.
I gulped-forgetting my disappointment about the rose. But since I can't do anything about it, I just sighed.
I kept the rose as well as the card. A few minutes later, our teacher got in and started the class.
By the end of the third subject, a blonde came up to me in her pig tails and tight pink jeans and white shirt. By the looks of her, she looks straight from Barbie world, a equally pink hair bow was sitting fancily on her hair, and I also noticed the same shade of pink of her nail polish. Seems like pink panther vomited on her.
"Ronnie, right?" she asked. And even though I feel indifferent, I still nodded. "Hi, I'm Bonny. I've read an article about you and Nikko. Is it true, you are dating my boyfriend?" she asked straight to the point.
My eyes widen in surprised, and from her pretty face, it then zeroed to her Gucci bag. There was a pin of Spencie's girl attached to it. Is she Nikko's girlfriend? If she is then I'm really sorry about the rumor but she doesn't have to be such a bitch on approaching me. This girl creeps me.
Freaky, right?
I didn't say anything. Actually I was too stunned to utter a single word. I just can't believe this is happening to me. Being threatened, just because of a man? Jeez!
Her eyes then narrowed at the stem of rose peaking from my bag. She made a move to get it and that's when I lost it.
I swat her hand and she scowled at me, clutching her hand as if an injured stray puppy.
"Look, miss, I don't wanna be rude but since you're being one, I don't mind returning the favor." I snapped. Her frown deepened, her nose reddening in anger.
"Bitch!" she cried and raised her hand as if she's going to slap me.
Incredulously absurd!
But before her hand could made contact with my face, someone blocked me and received the resounding slap from the crazy bitch.
Everyone who witnessed what happened was beyond stunned.
Especially Bonny, when we all figured who the person was.
"Nikko." She called, stuttering. Her eyes sparkle of unshed tears of shocked, regret, and then anger. She looked at me. "This is your entire fault!" she yelled then motioned to reach for my hair. Nikko was fast enough, though, to hide me behind him.
"Stop!" he yelled; that caught everyone off guard. Jeez, such an early drama for Monday! "Just fucking stop." He sighed. "This is getting out of hand, Bonny."
So, he knows the crazy girl? Is she really his girlfriend?
Bonny was already crying while staring at Nikko with pure regret all over her face. "But she doesn't deserve you, Nikko. There's a rumor about her and Dmitry secretly dating." She sobbed. My eyes widen in shocked. How much do these people know about me?
"And who deserves me? You?" He fired back. Bonny couldn't answer. "You're just a fan now, Bonny. Move on." That was his last words before he left.
And since I didn't notice he was gripping my wrist, he was practically dragging me outside the building and towards the parking area.
He opened the door of his car, and since I'm still too stunned to everything that had happened, I just mindlessly got in.
He started the engine but he didn't drive right away. He turned to me then cupped my face.
"Are you okay?" he asked me. I stare at his face, particularly in his eyes, and saw how genuine and sincere he is. I sighed. Honestly, I'm not. Never in my life did I saw myself getting into a fight just because of a guy. That's just... so low.
"Yeah." I said, resigned. He looked intently at me, his thumb brushing my cheeks and smiled apologetically at me.
"Bonny's an ex. We dated for a few months way back in senior high, but broke up later on." I knew it! She wasn't wearing a uniform and so I figured she's not from our school. Besides, she looks older than me though.
"Creepy ex, huh?" that was all I could manage to say. He sighed.
"I'm really sorry, Ronnie. I already took down all the articles about us, but Bonny..." He massaged the bridge of his nose like he doesn't know what to do to Bonny anymore.
"It's okay, Nikko. You did what you can do." I smiled at him. I could only imagine why he really hates the attention.
We just drove to a coffee shop and spent the remaining of my free hours there. I still have three hours since one of my teacher called on free cut because of the weekly board meeting.
We just talked about everything like we used to do. It's very fascinating to think that no matter how shortly we've known each other, we have so many in commons that it seems like we've been friends for years already.
When it was time for my last class, he drove me back to school.
"So, I'll see you soon, then?" he smiled. I just nodded.
The class continued and when the bell rang, students hastily got up and prepared to leave.
I texted Robert to pick me up, he replied that he got a flat tire and would take a while before he reach school. I just told him I'll wait for him by the benches in the car park.
I decided to play some songs while waiting for my service. In the midst of waiting, someone sat beside me. And my eyes widen when I figured who it was.
"Jae, what are you doing here?" I asked surprised. He grinned at me.
"Nice seeing you too, Ron." He laughed. I rolled my eyes at him then laughed. "Where's your driver?"
"On his way." He nodded. "I've read about you and Spencer." He started.
"You know him?" he nodded again.
"He's Sey's cousin." This time, I was the one who nodded. What? I don't have anything to say. It happens all the damn time! Every time it's all about Pierre I get speechless. "So, have you talked to Miles already?" he asked. Just then that I remembered about her. Jeez. What's happening to me?
"No. She hasn't called me yet." He patted my shoulder. "I still don't get it, you know. Why she suddenly decided to leave the country?"
"So am I, but she's been like that since she was a kid-impulsive and unpredictable. Don't worry, she'll come back again." he smiled at me.
"What exactly happened to the both of you last Friday night, Jae?"
"You mean me and Miles?" he shrugged. "I barely saw her at the party."
"You mean, you didn't got to talk to her?" I stared at him intently. He shook his head. If he and Miles haven't talked yet, then this means he's still as clueless af about her feelings?
"Do you like Miles, Jae?" I asked straight to the point. He seemed taken aback for a couple of while but still managed an answer.
"Of course, we've known each other ages ago." He laughed. I feel like we're not thinking the same thing.
"No, I mean, like as in... as a girl, Jae. Do you like Miles? Can you imagine yourself dating her?" and that's when he stopped laughing.
"I honestly haven't thought of that. Miles is like a little sister to me, Ronnie. It's just..." he made a face. "Incest. I've treated her like a sister and I don't see her like that. Why'd you ask?" I didn't answer him. It was as if fate saved me because his phone rang.
"Santi." He greeted. It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop but I couldn't help it. "Where's Santi? Okay, I'll be right there." And he ended the call. "I gotta go now, Ron. Santi's in trouble." He stood up. I stood up too. Worry eating me.
"Why? What happened?"
"I don't know yet, but I'll go to check on him. Are you okay waiting here alone?"
"No, I'll come with you." I feel like I have to. He stared at me for some seconds then nodded.
We got into his car and drove to a club at the other town. I texted Robert that I'm with my friend and told him that I'll go home later-he just confirmed and agreed.
It took us nearly an hour before we reached the said club. And it seemed like their often here because none of the bouncers asked for our IDs. They did nod at him, but Jae's attention zeroed to a guy by the bar. It's still early, and there weren't many customers.
"Santi." Jae greeted the moment he was near him.
Santi was holding a bottle of black label on his other hand and a glass on the other. His eyes were drousy and he looks like he already had tons. There were stubbles growing onto his face and dark circles under his eyes. To sum it all up, he looks wasted-far from the playful and mischievous aura he has the first time I met him.
"Jae Rin!" he slurred. He threw his arm over Jae's shoulder. He chuckled then poured him a drink. "Drink with me, buddy." He's really drunk. I have to ask myself what had gotten into me why did I even go with Jae here. I could've waited for Robert at school.
Santi's eyes then turned to me. His expression turned serious and cold. I gulped.
"You." He pointed at me. Jae held his hand.
"Sants, you're drunk." He swatted his hand away then walked up to me. I staggered backward. Jae held him by his arm.
"You're her bestfriend, right?" he asked. I don't know what he's talking about but I only have one bestfriend. Miles?
Sati's eyes sparkle when hit by the lights. His nose is also turning red, down to his neck and chest. The first three buttons of his shirt was open.
"Where is she?" he asked as if in pain. I couldn't say anything. Never did I imagine Santi being as helplessly looking like this. "Where is she, Ronnie? Where the hell is Miles hiding?!" he demanded. Jae stopped him but he started thrashing all over the place.
Oh gods, what exactly is happening?