Colby's POV
I felt my heart ache at the handwritten words that Julia had written. My mind couldn't grasp the fact that she would do this.
We were fine this morning.
I guess that's exactly how she felt when she did the same thing to me, but I remember distancing myself a little bit before I did it.
"Where did you find this?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level. I couldn't be having anyone thinking I was overly upset right now.
"On the front desk." Will said as I nodded. "Alright. Get back to work." I said then turned to go into my office.
"Is there anything you're going to do about this?" Will asked as I clenched my jaw.
"No. Now get back to fucking work." I snapped then slammed my door. I needed to be alone to process the thoughts I was having.
Julia really just used me.
She opened her heart to me and fell in love only to run away the second I gave her an opportunity to.
I knew she was smart and driven, but I didn't think she would hurt me this much.
I would have liked to think that she would have at least waited until all of this was taken care of.
I couldn't blame her for wanting to get out of the crime world and I couldn't blame her for not wanting to be with me, but after the past couple months we have had, I thought things were different.
There was a small glimmer of hope that one day we would be able to run away from the crime world together, but that was gone.
I couldn't trust her after this.
When I got to my desk, anger flooded through me. I didn't want to stay here because it reminded me so much of Julia.
Her art supplies were still scattered on the desk in front of me, the sketch she was doing this morning sitting there.
I clenched my jaw and took the paper, ripping it in half and throwing it to the side.
I went to throw the art stuff off of my desk as well, but was interrupted by my phone ringing.
"What?!" I answered, not even seeing who it was. "Woah. What's going on, man?" Sam asked with concern as I stood up, pacing the room.
"She played me, Sam." I said, my voice cracking. "What are you talking about?" He asked as I closed my eyes.
"Julia. She left me a note saying she was leaving me." I said, feeling the bile rise in my stomach.
"She wouldn't do that, Colby." He said as the anger rose up once again. "But she fucking did, Sam! I'm looking at the note right fucking now." I said as he sighed.
"Okay, I'm just gonna go up there and we can figure this out together." He said as I shook my head. "There's nothing to figure out, Sam." I said and closed my eyes.
"I just don't want you to be alone up there, alright? I know this is hard even if you want to pretend its not." Sam said with a sigh.
"Fine." I said, knowing he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"Great. I'm leaving now and will be there tomorrow. Don't do anything crazy before I get there." Sam said as I sat down at my desk again.
"Okay." I mumbled. "Good." Sam said then hung up the phone. As soon as he did, I felt the tears stinging my eyes.
I hated that I was feeling weak but I really truly loved Julia.
I thought that we were finally going to stop pushing each other away but I guess that wasn't the case.
Julia had played me and I was an idiot for falling for it.
I stood up and grabbed all the art supplies, throwing them into the garbage.
I needed to get rid of anything that reminded me of her considering she wasn't going to be coming back.
Part of me wanted to chase after her, since I knew that I loved her and that she was making a mistake but at this point I couldn't.
If I were to drop everything and go looking for her, it would possibly bring attention to her being gone.
I also couldn't make it seem like I cared.
If I looked for her, then anyone watching would catch me while I'm weak.
I had to silently mourn the girl I loved more than anything.
After cleaning everything up, I decided it was time to go back to my apartment. I needed to get some sleep and prepare for Sam to come here.
"Mr. Brock." Will said as I walked down the hallway. "What?" I asked blandly as I kept walking.
"Are you going to go after her?" He asked as I clenched my jaw and turned to him. "You read the note?" I asked as he shifted uncomfortably.
"I didn't know what it was at first. I didn't read all of it, sir." He said and held his hands up in defense.
"I'm not going after her and you need to watch yourself. We won't be discussing her or anything about her again." I said with aggression.
I didn't need anyone knowing what was going on but I needed to make it clear that I wasn't going to chase after her.
I couldn't.
I just had to hope that nobody would fucking kill her or worse. She made a mistake by leaving in the middle of this, but I obviously couldn't make her stay.
"Understood." Will said with a hint of fear. "Good." I said then turned around and made my way to the elevator.
I got to my car then started driving to my apartment. I stopped on the way to get some cigarettes since I knew I would be needing them.
When Julia was around I hardly ever smoked. I just didn't feel the need to for whatever reason, but right now I needed a cigarette more than I needed air.
Once I got to my apartment, I felt my heart sink. I knew I was in love with Julia but having her be gone now hurt a lot more.
There were little reminders of her everywhere I looked.
A hair tie on the table, a book she was reading on the couch, and not to mention the closet full of her clothes.
I ignored all of it and went out to the balcony so I could smoke. I once again was met by something that reminded me of Julia which just pissed me off.
I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she left so suddenly. It was a sick way of getting revenge considering how much she hated me when we first reconnected.
There was something so strange about the whole situation but maybe I just didn't know her like how I thought that I did.
I ended up smoking four cigarettes before I went inside to shower.
Being in this apartment without Julia really put into perspective how badly it must have hurt when I left her.
I know I thought I was doing what was best but if I hurt her like this, then I deserved every horrible thing that happens to me.
After showering I went straight to bed so I wouldn't have to be awake and suffer through the pain.
I slept through the whole night before I was being woken up by my phone ringing. "Yes?" I answered groggily.
"I'm here. The front door dude won't let me up." Sam said as I sighed. "Give him your phone." I said and rubbed my face with my hands.
"Mr. Brock." The guy said as I rolled my eyes. "Let him up." I said blandly. "Code?" He asked as I sat up.
"Five eight five three seven." I grumbled. "Perfect. He'll be right up." The front door guy said as I nodded.
"Great." I said then hung up. I didn't realize how late I had slept until my lock screen showed up.
2:15pm
"Fuck." I grumbled then leaned my head back. I didn't mean to sleep that long because I needed to get back to work. I couldn't come off as weak even though that was how I was feeling.
I had to pretend there wasn't a pain in my chest where my heart had been ripped out.
I got out of bed and made my way to the living room since Sam was going to be here any second.
I was grateful that he came all this way to be here with me but I didn't want to draw attention to how distraught I was.
I had to pretend I was fine.
When there was a knock on the door, I opened it to see Sam standing there was a bag hung around his shoulder.
"Oof- you look rough." He said with a laugh. "Gee, thanks man." I said and stepped to the side so he could come in.
"Sorry. I know how hard this must be for you. When we find her, you'll be able to talk to her." Sam said as I shook my head.
"There's no finding her. I can't risk anything by doing that. She knew that." I said then went to sit on the couch. "So you're really gonna just give up?" He asked as I nodded.
"I can't show how much this effects me. If they think we broke up and had a dispute, then they won't bother her." I said as he shook his head.
"And you really believe that?" He asked as I nodded.
I didn't really know if I believed that but if people thought that I didn't care about her anymore they would back off.
It worked for a while after I left Julia, so maybe it would work after she left me.
That's all I could really hope for at this point.