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Jungkook's pov:
Shit. His dad is calling him?! What could he possibly need to say at almost 2 o'clock in the morning?
I'm really conflicted on what to do.. Do I wake Taehyung up and tell him? Or just let it go to voicemail and let him find out in the morning..
However, when the call cuts and the contact appears once again, ringtone blaring, my decision is made for me when Taehyung stirs, eyes fluttering open.
"Jungkook?" thank god he's in big space.
"baby, sorry did I wake you?" I whisper, leaning over the petite boy and gently carding my fingers through his hair.
Taehyung shakes his head, soft locks falling over his eyes and I really don't want to tell him what i'm about to. Don't want to see his precious small smile he sprouting turn into anything other than a larger one.
Taehyung must sense my inner conflict because he pouts, bringing his soft fingers up to rest on my cheek.
"Jungkook what's wrong?"
I sigh, leaning down to bury my face into the crook of his neck. Not being able to see the look on his face.
"your dad is calling you" I mumble, feeling the boy tense beneath me.
"w-what?"
"your dad's calling you baby, you don't have to answer if you don't want to but-"
"-my dad is calling me?!" I'm cut off as he sits up, pulling me up with him.
I'm quick to take his now shaky hands into my own and kiss the knuckles, thumbs stroking the soft skin afterwards.
"baby it's okay, breath for me yeah? In... Out... There you go, good job" I praise, kissing his lips and keeping an eye on his shaky breathing. He tries to keep himself under control but the building tears in his eyes are noticeable. He's getting anxious.
Taehyung turns his head to see the phone still ringing. God that man doesn't give up.
"what are you going to do?" I question, hands gently moving up and down his arms, silently letting him know i'm here for him.
"i-i'm going to answer it.."
-
Taehyung's pov:
I lean over to grab my phone, it's cold in my hands and my dads contact makes me want to throw up.
Sure, I was desperate to have him call me back, reply to my messages or just let me know where he was. But after everything that happened that night and how he's cancelled all of the house bills.. I really don't want to speak to him.
I let out a small sigh, dragging my finger over the answer button before pulling the device up to my ear. I'll die before I put it on speaker for Jungkook to hear. I'm not sure what my father will say and so i'd rather be the only one to hear it.
"h-hello?" my voice is shaky and quiet, a lump forming in the back of my throat.
"What took you so long to pick up?" spat the rough voice of my father. No greeting or apologies for it being so early in the morning.
"I- sorry" I mumble, eyes falling to my lap. I feel Jungkook's large hand running across the span of my back and it somewhat comforts me.
The line goes quiet for awhile before my dad speaks up once again.
"your voicemail.." He mutters and I visibly tense, Jungkook's looking concerned about why next to me but I just remember what I said. How I called him a coward and swore at him. I didn't mean to! I was just so hurt and confused..
"d-dad i'm so sorry i didn't mean-"
"I don't give a shit what you meant Kim Taehyung! How dare you use such vulgar language towards your father! what a disgrace of a son I have, and you know what? I'm glad I cancelled all of the bills. Because you don't deserve to have me pay for everything whilst you sit around on your lazy backside like you're the one who's in control."
My bottom lip starts to quiver and I have to bite it to prevent a sob from escaping. I try to look away from Jungkook, the only light being the small bedside lamp he has since turned on and I don't want him to see me cry. I can feel the tears threatening to spill and I don't want to worry him.
Jungkook however is looking increasingly worried. His brows are creased and eyes boring into the side of me. Studying intently to try and figure out what my father is saying and I really want to hang up the phone.
"I called to tell you to never call me again Taehyung." He voices out, and that's what gets me spluttering up all kind of nonsense.
"w-what? dad no! p-please you can't do that!" A loud sob escapes my lips and the tears finally fall free. Heating up my cheeks and blurring me vision.
Jungkook is quick to pull my back against his chest and he whispers soothing words into my ear, not loud enough for my dad to hear over my crying.
"dad please" I cry, begging almost and I have so much I want to say. So many questions about where they are, if Haru is okay and what he's getting up to. If he missed me and why can't they just come back home.
But I can't.
Because my father hangs up the phone seconds later, leaving me with a heavy pain in my chest.
I clutch the phone tightly in my hand before throwing it, hearing it smash against the floor but not caring the see where. I turn into Jungkook chest and cry loudly, hitting his chest but I didn't mean to. Didn't mean to hurt him.
"shh baby, it's okay, you're alright i've got you" Jungkook whispers, taking my fist that's hitting him and bringing it to his lips. He rocks us back and forth but it does little to calm me down.
My father, the only parent I have has just abandoned me, leaving me essentially an orphan.
I cry harder, starting to hyperventilate as I just grab Jungkook tight, just wanting to be in his embrace and his warmth.
"daddy" I mumble between a sob, the emotional and hurtful words of my father causing me to slip.
"it's okay baby, daddy's got you" he reassures and I just let myself fully go.
-
Jungkook's pov:
I feel my own tears spring to my eyes at the crying boy who's screaming in my arms. He's shaking uncontrollably and gripping me tight.
"come here baby" I tell him, standing up and putting him on my hip, holding him close. "i need you to breath for me yeah?" I try, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and blowing cool air onto his cheeks. Ignoring how my heart is physically aching in my chest.
Taehyung isn't really in the room with me, his eyes are blown and his breathing is uneven, his tiny fists are clenching and unclenching around my shirt and it's when he starts shaking his head rapidly that it all clicks. He's having a panic attack.
"no bweathe daddy!" he sobs loudly, an intense look of fear taking over his features.
"okay it's okay, can you look at daddy baby?" I attempt, my own heart beat racing in worry.
Taehyung tears his eyes from the wall to my own, they're bloodshot and raw, drowning in the tears swimming in them.
"well done baby, such a good boy" I praise, taking his hand and placing it over my chest.
"feel that?" he nods rapidly, another sob echoing the dim room.
"that's daddy's heart beat baby, can you copy it? Breathe with daddy." I start by taking a slow and long deep breath. Holding it for a few seconds before exhaling loudly. I repeat the process a few times but Taehyung isn't listening. His bottom lip is out in a pout and he's shaking uncontrollably, crying hard and scared out of his mind. It's taking a lot to not just cry with him, but he can't breathe and this is serious.
"come on, copy daddy sweetheart" I murmur, wiping the pad of my thumb over his tears, turning his face to mine in the process.
"in.." I inhale deeply, watching as he shakily follows. "out.." Taehyung didn't copy exactly, holding the air for a much shorter period of time than me, but it was better than nothing.
"good job bun!" I praise, masking my own anxiety with a smile. "okay, again"
We repeat the process a few times, Taehyung finally getting into the rhythm and following my breathing. Hand still squeezing my shoulder tight, other one still over my heart. He closes his eyes and drops his head, resting it on my free shoulder and continuing to follow my instructions.
He sobs a few times and his tears never ease, but he's beginning to breath once again and my heart isn't racing a hundred miles a minute anymore.
"well done baby, daddy is so incredibly proud of you." I whisper, kissing his temple and squeezing his body slightly.
"hwurts daddy" he whimpers, wiping his eyes on my shirt and exhaling painfully.
"what hurts baby?"
I look down to see Taehyung pointing to his chest, his heart more specifically and I have to squeeze my eyes shut and look to the ceiling in order to not cry myself. It'll just make the situation worse.
"come on now, I think my bun deserves a bottle for being such a brave boy don't you think?" I ask, taking his attention away from his own thoughts and trying to lighten his mood. I look to the clock to see it's almost 3am, but I know Taehyung won't sleep now, hoping some warm milk will help him.
"come on, wake up bunny!" I whisper shout, taking the floppy stuffy in my hand from the bed and shaking it slightly, watching as a small smile sprouts to the littles lips.
"bunny wiv taetae an daddy?" he asks, gazing up to me curiously as he takes the animal in his delicate grasp. His eyes are still watery and it hurts to see him so sad.
"of course! bunny's got to have a midnight snack too, how about a potato?" I ask, making our way down the stairs and hearing the boy giggle in my arms.
"silly daddy, bunny eats carwots." he explains, holding the bunny up to me and nodding its head.
I chuckle to myself, holding bunny up to my ear as we walk into the kitchen, acting as if he's whispering to me.
"what's that? oh yeah.. really! okay, i'll make sure to tell Tae."
Taehyung is looking up to me curiously, confused on what his bunny is telling me.
"bunny said he wants a potato."
Taehyung's eyes widen and the cutest gasp leaves his lips. "bunny no wike carwots?"
I smile contently, holding the lightweight boy close on my hip as I go about making his bottle, listening to him babble on to his stuffed toy and asking for my input every now and again.
I bring the three of us into the living room and turn all the lights off, letting the only glow be from the tv considering it's so early in the morning.
I wrap Taehyung up in the fluffy blanket, cocooning him and flipping through the tv channels, stopping when we reach Mulan. It's been a personal favourite of his recently. He becomes absolutely immersed and fascinated with Mushu, always giggling and trying to recreate his roars and growls.
"come on baby relax, it's way past your bed time" I coo, leaning us back slightly and bringing the bottle to the boys lips. He doesn't have to be told twice, immediately drinking the warm milk and letting his drowsy eyes focus on the film that's quietly playing.
It takes a while for the boy to get sleepy, I can tell he's still feeling incredibly troubled by the events of a few hours ago. I'm still not sure on what his dad had exactly said to him. But I know it's obviously not good if it caused him to have a panic attack in little space. That's extremely dangerous for their young mind.
-
4am has just hit and Taehyung is finally passed out in my arms. Bottle empty and pacifier in, a loose grip on my shirt.
I turn the tv off and pick my sleepy baby up, bringing us back upstairs and into my room. I place him down on my bed before going to pick his phone up. It's got a tiny scratch on it's screen from being thrown but apart from that, it's thankfully okay.
I tuck the boy in, kissing him on the forehead, nose and cheeks before turning the light off and tucking his bunny under his arms. I am going to sleep too, desperate to bring the boy close and cuddle him.
But before I do, I quickly make my way into my en suite, locking the door behind me and finally releasing the sob i've been holding in since Taehyung's panic attack. I try to quieten it by crying into my fist but it's no use. I hate having to watch Taehyung absolutely crumble in my arms time and time again and not be able to do anything about it.
I bury my face into my hands and let the tears fall, desperately trying to quiet myself down so Taehyung doesn't hear and wake up. I feel like such a failure of a carer. Failure as a daddy. Jimin doesn't cry and hurt this much with Yoongi. Is it something wrong i'm doing?
I feel pathetic crying like this. I'm a grown ass man but it hurts so bad to watch that perfect boy cry. I let myself sob for a few more minutes before pulling myself together and washing my face, getting rid of my puffy eyes and red cheeks. Taehyung doesn't need to see me like this and worry even more than he already is.
I clear my throat and leave the bathroom, finally making my way back to my beautiful boy who's still asleep. His pacifier is hanging out of his mouth and his hair is sticking out in every direction.
A quiet chuckle leaves my lips as I get in next to him and pull his body close. Inhaling his comforting scent and I instantly feel so much better.
Taehyung's pov:
A groan leaves my lips as my eyes peel open. I feel groggy and incredibly tired. My body almost feels weighted, like it's too sleep deprived to move. I turn my head to look over my shoulder, the clock reading 9:52am. It's quite a late start for me, but I didn't fall asleep until only a few hours prior.
My stomach feels incredibly warm and I look down to see Jungkook's muscular arm laid out across it. His shirt's sleeve tightening slightly around his bicep and I smile, lightly tracing my finger over the restrained fabric.
Jungkook releases a huff of air in his sleep, subconsciously bringing me closer to him. I love how warm Jungkook always is. I'm always so cold for some reason in the morning and having him to wake up too recently has been a real gift.
I roll to the side, resting my head on the pillow and just look at Jungkook's sleeping face. It's so round and squishy when he's asleep. A complete contrast to the sharp jaw line and tight smooth skin he has when he's awake.
My mind casts back to the events of this morning. My dad's call.. How I cried so hard and how Jungkook handled me so well.
I put Jungkook through so much and he still always stays. God, I really don't deserve him..
I sigh, running my hand up and down his arm. I really want to just stay here and cuddle him, want to bury my face into the crook of his neck and hide from the world forever. But I can feel that my diaper is wet and I know it needs to be changed.
I'm feeling big enough to handle it myself and so I gently pull Jungkook's arm off of me, getting up from the bed and watching as he rolls over and hugs a pillow instead, squishing his cheek up against it and it's quite a cute sight.
I don't want Jungkook to wake up and have to take care of me, he needs his sleep and has probably got even less than I have..
With that thought in mind, I choose to use the bathroom down the hall instead of his en suite. I take my diaper off, cringing slightly at the wet feeling and put it in the bin, before stepping in the shower and washing away all my sleep and dried tears.
It's quite easy to stay in big space when I was little for so long yesterday. My body doesn't feel as restrained and so I can sort of relax without fearing i'll slip.
I get out of the shower and walk into my nursery, changing into comfy clothes and pulling Jungkook's hoodie on top.
Not really sure what else to do, I quietly grab my phone and go downstairs, burying myself beneath all the fluffy and soft blankets Jungkook has and turn the tv on. My eyes light up slightly upon the realisation that Mulan is on. I must've watched it this morning.
Despite not feeling little, I still bring bunny close to my chest, fingers threading through his floppy ears. It's more like a comfort thing for me at this point, rather than just a toy I have in little space.
I'm also slightly glad Jungkook is still asleep. I'm not feeling hungry whatsoever and I know I can get away with saying i've already eaten and washed up. Knowing full well Jungkook would freak out and make sure I eat something otherwise.
I toy with my phone in my hands, eyes flicking up to the film playing every now and again, but my fingers are hovering over my dads contact. The 'delete' button looking so bold and red.
I know my dad has probably already deleted my number from his phone. The hatred and venom in his voice still sending chills down my spine.
'never call me again Taehyung.'
It's like i've been stabbed in the chest. Knowing you're not wanted hurts already. But having it defined and spat at you by your own father.. It really stings.
I sigh, chucking the small device beside me and looking back towards the screen. I don't have the guts to delete him from my phone. Because that'll mean he's gone forever and even after everything he's done and said to me. He's still my father and he use to be so good.. use to be the best dad in the world and i'd like to somehow hold onto those memories.
My bottom lip quivers a bit at the thought and I don't know what to do. My grip on bunny tightens slightly and my head feels warm.
Not being able to be alone right now, I decide to be selfish. I know I shouldn't be, not after all Jungkook had done for me but I can't help it. I run straight up the stairs and fly into the bedroom, launching myself at a sleeping Jungkook who releases a loud 'oomph' at the sudden attack.
I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face deep into his neck. Inhaling his comforting scent and sighing once again.
"baby?" Jungkook's husky morning voice rings in my ears. I feel his arms wrap around me and I can't help but sniffle slightly.
"here" I quietly tell him, bringing my other arm up to lay on his chest.
Jungkook must think i'm in little space from the way i've got bunny with me because he says "daddy was sleeping little one" and brings his face down to kiss my temple.
"m not little" I whisper, suddenly feeling a bit insecure with the fact that i've got bunny with me. I'm a 16 year old why do I feel the need to have him with me?
Jungkook clearly senses my sudden discomfort. I don't know how but he always seems to know what's going on in my head. Even when he's half asleep.
"that's okay bun, he brings you comfort. Take him wherever you need to go." He reassures, eyes closing and opening and voice still laced with sleep.
"you're already showered and changed? i'm sorry I slept in peanut."
I find myself shaking my head in Jungkook's neck. Desperately not wanting him to feel bad for sleeping when I was the one who kept him up the whole night. "n-no don't apologise. I wanted you to sleep.."
"but i also wanted to hug you" I add, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"hm, well i also wanted to wake up with you in my arms so i guess we both got what we wanted" he replies, fingers travelling down to give my waist a tickle and I can't help but squirm and let out a giggle.
-
I've spent the past hour or so up in my nursery.
Jungkook eventually got out of bed, having a shower and getting ready for our late start to the day. He had asked if I had already had any breakfast and if I wanted him to make me any. I just shyly replied with a nod of my head, a small 'yes' leaving my lips that I had eaten, before I rushed up the stairs and into my room. Not wanting to continue to lie or even attempt to.
I've been playing with my toys in here since then, not exactly being in little space but not exactly feeling big either. It was a weird middle ground that my mind was at.
I wasn't even exactly playing with the toys, more like just toying with them in my hands whilst my brain was thinking a million thoughts.
Eventually I had come to a decision and with bunny in my hand, I made my way down to Jungkook. He was sat at the kitchen island, typing away on his laptop. Presumably replying to work emails.
"j-jungkook?" I asked a bit timidly, bare feet feeling cold on the tiled floor.
"yeah baby?" He reply's, turning around in his chair and opening his arms, inviting me into his warm embrace. I run into them without hesitation, revelling i'm his comfort.
"i've been thinking a-and, i wanna seen my hyungs? i wanna tell them what's been going on, kind of want their advice.." I mumble, face buried into Jungkook's chest and voice sounding more like a question. I'm not sure why but I just feel generally anxious about the whole thing. Feeling the nervous ache in my chest quite a bit today.
"well I think that's a very wise decision bun" he reassures, hand running up and down my back.
"y-your not mad?" I wearily ask, keeping my face buried into his top. The reason I ask this is because I haven't told Jungkook about what my father had said and now i'm saying I want to tell my hyung's. Surely he'd be mad that I haven't told him right?
"baby, look at me" Jungkook hums, finger sneaking under my chin to lift it up so i'm looking into his eyes. They're so soft and doe-like, no signs of anger or resentment in them. "why would I be mad? I want nothing more than for you to be with your hyung's again. They have been with you way before you met me, of course you're going to need them."
I'm not sure why his words make me cry. But before I know it, tears are pooling in my eyes and are falling down my cheeks.
Jungkook's eyes soften and a fond smile covers his lips. "sweetheart" he coos, wiping my tears and leaning down to place a kiss to my lips. "don't cry now, come on." He leans back to lift me up onto his lap, letting me cuddle into his neck.
"i-i'm sorry, i don't know why i'm f-feeling so pathetic" I sniffle, wiping my eyes so I don't wet his top.
"you're not pathetic baby, you're just feeling a bit emotional today and that's completely okay. Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, carding his fingers through my hair and pressing kisses to my crown every now and again.
"i-i just... i don't know" I sigh, gently huffing out air over his collarbones. I'm feeling confused and frustrated. Frustrated at my father but also conflicted because I don't want to be mad at him. "I just want to cry" I whisper, feeling my bottom lip begin to tremble. I clutch bunny a bit harder and feel Jungkook's hold on me tighten.
"oh bun," he coos, lifting me up and walking us into the living room, sitting us down on the sofa. I sigh heavily when Jungkook wraps a blanket around me.
"you can cry as much as you want my love, let it out, i'm here for you." And that was all it took for the water works to begin. I fisted his top slightly, quiet sobs leaving my lips and body shaking. I hate feeling like this, it makes me just want to hide away from the world and never show myself again.
When I had finally calmed down, I lift my head to see Jungkook's comforting smile. His soft lifts and cute eyes. Always so warm, always so welcoming.
"my dad told me to never contact or speak to him again" I whisper, feeling nothing but a dull ache in my chest.
Jungkook leans down and captures my lips in a kiss. It's so warm and safe, such a secure feeling that has me subconsciously leaning my body closer to his. Just wanting to be in his embrace.
He leans away just enough so our foreheads are touching, a satisfied hum leaving my lips.
"he has no idea what he's giving up" he whispers, thumb stroking over my skin to rid my face of my tears. "such a beautiful and precious boy, so selfless and caring." he continues, thumb travelling from my cheek to pull my bottom lip down slightly. "so dainty and adorable" he murmurs, the most beautiful smile on his lips.
He leans away and I can't help but give a small smile. I can tell he means every word he is saying, and the thought of that alone is making a warm fuzzy feeling slowly start to replace the longing ache in the chest.
"family isn't always blood baby. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who will do anything to see you smile, to see you happy. Those people are me, you hyungs, jimin, yoongi. You have no idea how loved you are angel. You don't need your father in order to feel wanted or loved. Because your family is right here."
"Jungkook-" I whisper, a whole new set of fresh tears forming and for once it's not out of sadness.
"i-i don't know what to say." my voice is quiet and wavering, on the brink of sobbing loudly and crumbling in the elders arms.
"you don't have to say anything baby, just know you've got your family, and you'll always be loved and cared for, by all of us." He murmurs, pulling me close and kissing my temple.
"I love big tae, little tae, baby tae" he lists, causing me to giggle slightly.
"but most importantly, I love you"
-
you guys, i'm so sorry this has taken so long-
who knew applying for university after a gap year would be so stressful.. but thank you for waiting <3 and your messages are always so sweet🥺