Y/n's POV
When I got home that day I went to my room and haven't left since. And I didn't call Rafe like I said I would. I texted him though. I had a feeling his voice would piss me off.
Apparently he was helping his dad with something and wouldn't tell me what. If that was even true.
But it had now been a full week since I'd seen him and I hated it.
We still texted making sure each other was ok. I felt almost selfish for leaving.
And for not calling and for not seeing him since. I felt like a terrible person knowing he probably needed my help. I knew he was struggling with staying clean but it was clear he was trying to hide that.
Adrian had been home since the night of the party and had stayed clean that night minus a little weed.
I'd caught him up on everything and he told me what it was like in rehab. We talked about how bad our mom had gotten even know that he was back. We talked about everything, which is something I never thought would happen with Adrian.
He brought me food knowing I'd much rather starve then listen to my mother bitch at me about everything she could.
But now I had finished every episode of Jersey Shore and Every Twilight movie(again). I had done all my face masks and ate all the snacks in the house. And I'd definitely worn my sheets considering how bad my room stunk. Which also meant I needed a shower today.
So I forced myself out of bed. I clean the garbage and dishes. The outfits from late night fashion show with Kiara who had been over everyday since finding out what happened. I washed my sheet and pillow vases before jumping in the shower myself.
While I'm the shower, the only thing my mind was brought back to was Rafe. Like always.
It's not like we'd broken up. But it was like there was something wedged between us. Even while texting it felt so awkward which I didn't understand. Everything had felt natural with him. Since the day we met. But now it was different. And I hated that more than not seeing him.
So I decided that that's what I'd do. I was gonna go see him today.
When I got out of the shower I texted him asking what he was doing today.
He never answered.
As I did my makeup and hair I texted him again asking if he was ok.
Still no reply.
I got dressed and finally tried to call him since he'd been answering everyday. This is the first time he hadn't.
He didn't answer the phone.
I sighed annoyed but grabbed my purse and vape and left anyways.
When I went to the Cameron's residents, Rose answered the door.
"Hey sweetie it's been a while." She smiled pulling me into a hug.
"Hi Rose, is Rafe here?" I asked her.
"No honey I thought he was with you. He hasn't been home in a week." I sighed and thanked her for her help before I left.
I went to Kelce and Toppers house and he wasn't there either. And hasn't been all week.
I went to his work and he was no where in sight.
In the back of my head I knew where he was the moment Rose answered the door. I just had a feeling.
But I didn't want him to be there, so I searched all around this stupid island at any possible place he could be.
"Ok thank you Lia." I swallowed about to walk out.
"Sweetheart are you ok?" Lia asked leaning on the counter.
"Yea I'm ok. I might be back later though will you let me know if he pops up?" I asked her and she nodded suspiciously.
"Is Rafe ok?" She asked and the pit in my stomach just grew deeper.
"I'm not sure.." I told her and it was quiet in the small restaurant, minus Craig screaming at his tv.
"I'll see you later ok." I said as I quickly left.
As I got in my car and started to drive, I felt my foot on the gas getting heavier.
I sped down the winding roads trying to get to Barry's as quickly as possible.
And once I pull up I saw Rafes truck. Of course.
I slammed on my break and threw the car in park. I jumped out of the car already feeling the tears well up.
Before I could even make it inside, Rafe was in front of me. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back towards the car.
I gasped at the feeling myself being slammed against his truck.
"What the fuck are you doing here." He said with a look on His face I'd never been the cause of.
My words were caught in my throat as his grip on my wrists got tighter.
"Rafe your hurting me." I squirmed under him trying to get away.
"Answer the question." He said still not letting up.
"I texted you wanting to see you." I told him.
He stared at me for a moment before sighing and letting go. I instantly rubbed my wrist trying to relieve the pain.
I'd never been nervous or scared of Rafe. But now I was. In this moment I felt I'd never been more scared of something in my life. It was also pain not knowing there was a side to my boyfriend that made him like this. Made him hurt me with out hesitation.
He paced back and forth running his fingers through his hair.
"How many times Y/n?" He asked and I was confused as I felt tears slipping down my face.
"What do you-"
"How many time have I told you to never come here! No matter the consequences you never come here!" He yelled at me.
"I didn't know where you we're-!" I felt my body press against the truck again as he gripped my face hard.
"That was a mistake Y/n. A really big-"
"Yo chill the fuck out man! Yo hello!" Barry came outside and pulled him away.
"Dude your scaring her man what the fuck. Bro you don't want to do this, that's your girl remember. Your queen right? Just like you told me?" Barry said as I allowed my body to slide down the side of the truck, letting my head fall in my hands.
I sobbed quietly as Barry made Rafe go inside.
"You good ma?" I heard next to me.
"Just leave me alone." I told him.
"Look I know I'm not your favorite person but let me at least see your face." He said nicer than I'd ever heard him speak.
I sighed and looked up at him. He pushed my hair back and didn't cringe but basically did.
"It might bruise but it'll be ok. Just put some ice on it." He said as I wiped my tears away.
"Thanks." I stood quickly and got in my car with out another word.
Rafes POV
What the fuck just happen? What did I just do? Did that just happen? Did I just do that? Was I really gonna hit her?
I paced on Barry's porch as I heard Y/n's car screech away.
"Dude what the fuck?" Barry said as he walked back inside.
"Is she ok? Please tell me she's ok? Holy fuck man." I ran my hands through my hair.
"Of course she not ok she's never seen that side of you." Barry chuckled as I tried to find my phone.
When I finally did, sure as fuck there were messages and calls from her.
I got messages from Topper and Kelce saying she was looking for me. Even Ward and Rose telling me I needed to get home because they thought I was with Y/n.
She clearly went all over town just trying to find me.
"Fuck man I have to go." I said walking towards the door.
"Woah man let's not do that right now." Barry got in my way.
"Did you not just see what happened? How much I just fucked up! I need to go see her." I told him trying to push past.
"Chill the fuck out." He shoved me back and I landed right on my ass.
"Yea I did see what just happened, and from the looks of it she wants nothing to do with you. You gotta give her some time bro." He explained like I was a child.
I sighed and just laid back in the floor rubbing my face.
"Fuck man." I mumbled.
"Here do another line." Those word pierced my ears. The cause of all of this. The whole reason my relationship had gone to shit within a week.
And it was because of that stupid fucking drug that didn't even make me feel good anymore.
It made me feel like shit and it made me angry. It made me nauseous and woozy. But it was an addictive drug. When I craved it there was nothing that could fulfill the need other than the coke.
Until Y/n.
When I first saw her, it was like a breath of fresh air and my brand new drug.
The way she blushed when I caught her staring. How her mouth hung open slightly. How her eyes were shiny and her cheeks were rosy.
But I didn't know how addicted I'd become. Addicted to the smell of the shampoo that she picked out the day of seen her at the store. Addicted to her laugh and the way she smiled. Addicted to her touch and her taste. The way she would moan my name and squeezed around me when I fucked her. The way she looked while sleeping. The way she comforted me. The way she explained things.
Everything about her was everything I had dreamed of. My own personal drug that no one else could have and everyone knew it.
But now I had created my own nightmare. I was doing exactly what my mother did to my father and turned him to an asshole.
I was breaking Y/n the same my mother did to me and my sister.
So quickly and swiftly the same way my mother did.
I didn't realize it, but I'd been laying here so long. It was already 10 the next morning.
It's been at least 16 hours since everything had happened.
I sat up groaning, everything hurting from laying on the floor. I grabbed my phone that was nearly dead. Barry seemed to be making something in the kitchen.
"Yo man I gotta go." I said, voice hoarse.
"Alright, don't do anything fucking stupid." He scolded and I rolled my eyes already out the door.
Once I left and was on the road I was trying to figure out what to do. I was still out of it and I knew I'd probably need a fix soon but I couldn't do that. I really can't do that.
She probably hates me right now. And she's probably told Adrian and Sarah and definitely the pogues.
As on cue, they're van whipped out in front of me. I don't know if they realized it was me right away because the kept driving for a good 2 minutes. Until they slammed on the breaks causing me to do the same.
Thankfully we didn't crash but I had a feeling I was about to get the shit beaten out of me.
But no, Kiara jumped out.
And when she did they drove off and she got in the truck.
"What the hell did you do to Y/n?" She asked instructing me to keep driving.
"Look there's a lot to explain-"
"So explain. I've seen her everyday for a week. And then I called her yesterday and she was balling her eyes out. Freaking out about something but I couldn't understand her. I asked her if she wanted me to come over but she said no. In fact she said I wasn't aloud to come over. I mean and then today she won't answer my texts my phone. I know she's awake because she's been active in all her social media. So what did you do?" She asked in her normally aggressive way.
"I can't tell you." I told her.
"You joking right?" She questioned.
"Because you will literally murder me. And I need to talk to Y/n. Before I talk to anyone else." I told her and she huffed.
"Then looks like we're going to her house together. And so are the boys." She said and I groaned but kept driving.
The drive was quiet and I honestly preferred it that way. I had a sick feeling in my stomach as we moved closer to her house.
Once we got there the boys were already there. The moment I stepped out of the car a felt the tension in the atmosphere.
"Come on. You were so ready to talk to her let's go." Kie spoke.
But the door opened before we made our way to it. Her brother popped out with rage all over his face.
"What the hell did you do to her!" He gripped my shirt and threw me against the truck the same I did Y/n. I towered over the kid and knew he wouldn't do much damage, but he was pissed and I wasn't trying to make it worse.
"Look man I'm sorry ok. I just gotta talk to her-"
"She showed back up after looking for you balling her eyes out. She wouldn't even talk to me. She's not telling me what happened either so what the fuck did you do?" He pressed my against the truck harder as I held his wrists.
"I need to talk to her first-"
"Well your talking to me right now. So speak!" He yelled.
"Look man I just- I got angry." I told him and he stayed quiet waiting for me to continue.
"I hurt her." I mumbled swallowing.
"You hit her!" He yelled tightening his grip.
"You hit her!" Kie screeched behind him.
"No I didn't fucking hit her!.. but I almost did. And I did hurt her. Are you fucking happy." I shoved Adrian back causing him to fall back.
They all just stared at me in disgust as Adrian jumped back up shouting before running to try to tackle me.
It didn't work very well for him.
"You piece of shit! I fucking warned her about you!" He hit me anywhere he could when JJ and John B came out and pulled him away.
I leaned against the car and leaned my head back sighing.
"Chill out man just chill." JJ held Adrian's arms as he tried to squeeze out of his grip.
"He hurt Y/n bro you don't understand." Adrian groaned.
"I promise I know what your feeling man but you have to chill it's not our problem to work out." JJ said.
"What the hell is going on!?" I looked over to see Y/n on the porch and my heart clenched.
Her face was puffy and red. I could see stray tears glistening in the sun and she stood with a blanket wrapped around her.
I also noticed the very light but definitely there bruising on her wrists and under her jaw from grabbing her so hard.
I swallowed standing up straight as everyone looked towards her.
"Why didn't you tell me he hurt you?" Adrian yelled as JJ let him go.
"Because I didn't want to talk about it. What are you doing here?" She looked straight at me with pain in her eyes.
"I just wanted to talk to you." I said quietly but loud enough for her to hear.
"I don't want to talk to you right now." She said clearly trying hold back tears.
"Please Y/n just 5 minutes and I'll leave you alone I swear. Forever if you want me to but I need to explain." I said.
"Why should I give you that option?" She shook her head.
"I don't want to talk about this in front of-"
"Well I didn't want to run around all day looking for you, wondering if you were ok. And I sure as hell didn't want to find you coked out at Barry's house. We don't always get what we want do we?" She huffed as a few tears slipped down her face.
"Ok I'm sorry to interrupt this moment but let's go to the back yard and do this. The whole neighborhood is outside." John B sighed and I looked around seeing people gathering around.
"Just 5 minutes." I pleaded with her and she scrunched her face up and I knew she caved.
"5 minutes." She groaned and turned to walk back in the house, and I followed her of course.
We went to her room and she sat in her bed as I closed the door behind me.
It was quiet for a while. I wasn't sure how to start this.
"Are you ok?" I mumbled.
She didn't say any thing and just held her wrist with a "what do you think" look on her face.
"I feel terrible Y/n I really do. I can't say anything to justify what I did but I needed to make sure you didn't hate me." I told her honestly.
"Of course I don't hate you." She scoffed, almost annoyed at the fact that she didn't.
"What did you really want to say?" She asked clipping her hair up.
"Honestly I was gonna come her and beg for forgiveness until I got it but, I don't think that's how things are gonna pan out." I scratched the back of my neck, still keeping my distance.
"I don't even know what to say Rafe. You shouldn't even be here right now. You shouldn't be anywhere near me and I personally shouldn't allow it. Like do you see my face?.. Obviously this isn't the worst you could do but the fact that you did it." She stood and stepped closer to me so I could see her fully.
There was a small bruise the shape of my finger right across her draw. It'll only be there for a day or so, but she was right. I still did it. And it wasn't an accident.
I wouldn't make eye contact with her though.
"Look at me you asshole!" She gripped my cheeks and forced me to look at her.
"You don't even know how much I want to hate you right now..." She let go and started pacing.
"... But I love you so much and I'm pretty sure I've made that very clear. I just wanted to see you. I wanted to know if you were ok. Do you not realize how quick our relationship just went to shit?" She huffed with tears falling freely.
"Let me make it up to you please. I would never do something like that to you if I was in the right mind space-"
"That was your choice too! I mean we're already arguing and this was just suppose to be talking." She laughed.
"I'm not trying to fight with you I'm trying to get you to see how terrible I feel! I'd never hurt you Y/n. I know this is all my fault. Trust me, everyone I've encountered in these last 24 hours has made it very clear. I love you to Y/n. I need you ok. I never meant to mess anything up ok I just, I can't loose you." I held her shoulders trying to get her to listen.
"I can't loose you either which is why this is so difficult... I need you but I have never aloud someone to treat me the way you did and I'm sure as hell not gonna start." She sighed.
"I know baby.. please don't leave me though. Please Y/n I don't know what if do with myself with out you." I said pushing her hair behind her ear. I leaned my hand on her face as she leaned into it.
"Your an asshole." She sniffled.
"I know." I sighed clenching my jaw.
"You need to get clean Rafe. I'm not gonna do this everytime I piss you off." She said.
She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around me. She leaned her head on my chest as I fully embraced it.
I breathed out a breath of relief as she did so. I hugged her for a second before I pulled away and looked at her wrists, which were way worse than her face.
They were darker and bigger. I sighed and kissed both of them. She looked up at me with the same look as when I got here.
"What can I do to make it up to you?" I asked her and she just sighed.
"That's something your gonna have to figure out."
(Y'all don't understand how much I'm anticipating season 3. Like they really gave him a whole love interest after I spent years of my life devoting myself to him. Its really like... the audacity. But yea I already know I won't like her but I won't bore you to much with that. So anyways though Rafes being an asshole. What's new? I really tried to embrace his Drew side and forgot who he was in the show. But anyways love you duces..)