NICO BRINGS BACK A BUCK. He breaks through the treeline with it hauled over his shoulder.
You and Mithun sit by the waterfall opposite him, watching as Nico carries it effortless. He heads to a near by tree and hangs it, pulling a knife from the back of his pants.
You look away before you see what he was intending to do with it.
Hunting didn't bother you as much as it did many years ago. You'd grown desensitized to it from all the trips you'd taken Mith on. That didn't mean you wanted to watch it willingly, however.
"What do you think of my Dad?" Mithun asks you quietly.
You stare down into the crystal-clear water in front of you. "He's kind," you list, tone genuine. "Strong." Handsome. "He seems like a good man."
He heaves a sigh of relief. "I think so too." Eyes cut from you to Nico and then back again.
Rinse. Repeat.
You breathe a laugh, knowing what he wanted. "Go on. Go help him."
He presses a kiss to your cheek and jumps up. "You're the best!"
A pang shoots through you, your smile bittersweet. You hope he doesn't forget that.
And you wonder if you'll get used to sharing his attention.
༓･*˚*･༓☾ WYIFH ☽༓･*˚*･༓
As night falls the temperature drops, but unlike the last week, you barely feel it.
The cave contains the warmth of the fire. The glow of it highlights the walls, fighting the darkness at the entrance attempting to creep in.
It was about as big as your house. . .which meant it was actually quite small. Enough room to fit the three of you and the fire with enough space between you and the flames that you didn't roast.
Mithun non-stop asks his father questions. Nico is more than happy to feed his curiosity.
"What is your pack like?"
Nico sits a bit straighter at the mention of his people, his posture proud. "Strong. Loyal. The best of the best. My brother is our alpha - Your uncle. He adored you when you were a pup. Treated you as if you were his own. Hell, everyone did. You have no idea how loved you are."
"My Uncle is in charge?" Mith breathes, sounding as if it was the coolest thing he'd ever heard.
"Yes," Nico chuckles at his pups awe-struck expression.
"What is your. . .your rank?" he asks next.
"I'm his enforcer and his second which means should anything happen to him, I'm next in line."
"Does he have children?"
"No," Nico shakes his head and hesitates. "Rian did have a mate. Her name was Melindra. But she was killed by a nest of vampires seven years ago and Rian swore he'd never love again."
Gods. What an awful thing to experience.
The pain on Nico's face is too much and you avert your gaze. He must have known her, or witnessed what his brother went through.
"I'm sorry that happened," Mith says, so softly, your heart clenched with it. "We lost someone close to us, too."
Nico nods in acknowledgement. "Jessabelle, right? I remember you telling me."
Panic bubbles in you.
You're not sure where it comes from or why it's there but either way, you can't stop it. You feel it deep in your gut. In your throat and even in your fingers.
For a brief moment you think, finally, a reaction to her murder.
Despite not moving or saying anything, both their eyes snap to you.
"Mom?" Mithun questions, frowning. "Are you ok?"
Right.
They could both hear your racing heart.
"I'm fine," you try to assure him, but it comes out breathless.
Fuck.
Air. You need air.
You climb clumsily to your feet, using the cave wall for support. "I just need a minute," you tell them. Mithun goes to stand but you wave him off. "No. Stay here. I'll be back soon."
"Bambi-" you hear Nico protest but you ignore him and limp towards the cave mouth.
༓･*˚*･༓☾ WYIFH ☽༓･*˚*･༓
It's much colder outside than in.
You hug yourself and one knee; the injured leg stretched out in front of you, the only comfortable position you can put it in.
The waterfall sounds soothe you, ground you, help you come back to yourself. You watch the ripples in the water, distorting the full moons reflection.
Behind your eyes you feel heavy and swollen but the tears still don't come. There's a build-up of emotional anguish in your skull and you have no idea how to get it out.
You ache with it. Your heart, your head, your throat.
Its heavy. Oh, so heavy you wish you were as strong as Nico so you'd be able to carry it with as much ease as he did that buck.
Closing your eyes, you attempt to clear your mind of all thoughts and concentrate on the pounding water hitting the surface below.
You get so lost in the calm floaty space of your meditation that you barely feel the fabric being draped over your shoulders.
"Here," Nico's deep voice greets you. You blink your eyes open, watching as he sits down on the boulder next to you. "Mith's gone to bed. He wanted to check on you but I told him I'd do it. You hanging in there, Bambi?"
You give a half shrug, finding it strange how he acts so familiar with you. "Hanging," you manage weakly.
"Grief's a tough emotion to navigate," he nods knowingly.
You both stare at the water.
He doesn't stop there. "There are so many layers to it. Disbelief how it's possible for that to happen to someone you love. Denial that they're no longer going to be part of your everyday life. Anger because they didn't deserve it. Confusion – how can life change in a blink of an eye? Fear 'cause you never saw it coming so wonder when it's gonna happen to someone else." He shakes his head. "There's more. So much more. And you suddenly have all of this to work through. Your head gets messy, doesn't know how to process it all at once."
"That. . . helps, actually," you admit. "You putting it into words like that. At the moment. . .I just feel so. . .hazy. Numb. Overwhelmed."
"You'll probably feel like that for a while," he admits. "Everyone is different. Some people it'll hit them straight away. Others, it can take years. There's no right or wrong way to go about it. It just. . .is."
"She died in such an ugly way," you whisper. "There was so much blood. She was the kindest person. I always thought she'd grow old and pass away naturally." Your eyes squeeze shut as the image of her on the floor of your home haunts you. "And it was her ex-husband who did it. A man she'd loved for so much of her life. And the way he spoke afterwards, saying he didn't mean to, like it was an-an accident. How the fuck is it possible her life was taken because of a- a mistake?"
A tear tracks down your cheek. Not nearly enough to outwardly show how you were feeling, but atleast you were starting to express your grief.
Nico says softly, "I'm sorry that happened to her."
"Mithun saw it," you admit. "I hate that. I keep thinking I should talk to him about it but how am I supposed to help him when I can't even help myself?"
"I can speak with our pup," he offers. "You just concentrate on healing. You don't have to shoulder the responsibility alone. I've got you both."
You sniff, nod, and then briefly panic, "I'm not usually like this. Honestly. I am capable of looking after myself and Mith. It's just with everything-"
Nico interrupts you. "I don't doubt that for a second." He holds up a large hand, your eyes drawn to long, thick fingers.
You force your gaze away and clear your throat. "Good. I just didn't want you to think he grew up with someone so. . .Unstable."
"I don't think that," he reinforces, tone firm, doubling down on his opinion. "Even with the short time I've known him, I can tell he's been raised by the kindest, most nurturing, and protective Mother. I couldn't of asked for more."
Your cheeks warm, heart fluttering. "I mean. I tried."
It was hard to look at him with him firing off compliments like this.
"You succeeded," he emphasises, ducking his head to catch your shy gaze. "He told me how much you adore animals and how hard it was for you to watch him hunt them, but you did it because you knew he needed to perfect those instincts. That – that right there is parenting wrapped up into one. You did something which went against your heart so he could better himself."
His eyes pin you in place. The awe in them takes your breath away and you're lost for words. Which doesn't matter because he has enough of them for the both of you.
Nico continues, looking at you as if you were the moon on a cloudless night. "You sacrificed your home. . .your life. . .you risked everything for him. And that is why I will fight blood, tooth and claw for your place in our pack."
"Thank you," you whisper, raw. It was as if he'd peeled you open, helped remove the rotting parts, and then stitched you back together. You still weren't healed, but it was something. "I feel much better now. Let's head back inside."
Nico stands whilst helping you to your feet, his hands on your elbows supporting you as you find your footing. "Good?"
"Good," you confirm, a bit flustered with how attentive he is.
He adjusts the blanket on your shoulders before he guides you inside, your arm hooked in his.
He informs you, "You're welcome to keep the blanket. It'll keep you warm tonight. Mithun is sleeping in wolf form. I'll do the same. I can protect you both that way."
"Protect us?" you question, raising an eyebrow.
"This forest is rich with predators. It's one of the many reasons this location was chosen for moon cycle retreats. We're at one with nature; its beauty and its dangers. Nothing I can't handle of course," he flashes you a cocky smile as you walk the stone trail between the waterfall and the cliff which leads to the cave. "But a little thing like you they'd eat you up for dinner."
"Well, we can't have that," you joke nervously, stepping into the cave mouth.
The fire was still alight and Mithun was cuddled up in a ball at the back of the cave, his black fur just about visible from the flickering flames.
"No," he agrees with a lopsided smile. "Now get to bed, Bambi. Tomorrow is a new day."