Trigger warning: this chapter has quite a few detailed mentions of sa*
Y/N's POV:
I wake up to the smell of old wood. My wrists and ankles tied up. I pull at the restraints trying to loosen them. I end up with bruises and still stuck to the bed. I scream and scream but no one hears me. The door handle jiggles and I scream louder. The tall man with dark hair walks in and punches my face.
"Shut up." He says before putting duct tape across my mouth. The area stinging from his knuckles.
He leans down close to my body and I can smell the sweat on him. Then he holds me down in place. I try to scream but nothing comes out.
Tears stream down my face quickly. Fear fills my eyes.
I raise up quickly, my breathing heavy. I frantically scan my eyes around the room, to find it was all a dream. Today's the anniversary of my kidnapping. Even though it's been more than 20 years since it happened, the nightmares stay.
I can't get rid of them. Every year around the anniversary they get worse. It seems like every time I close my eyes, he's there.
I reluctantly roll out of bed and get in the shower trying to wash away the bad memories.
After getting ready I feed Cali and leave for the office.
..........
It was almost time to go home after a long day at Quantico. I've been avoiding everyone, because I don't know how to act normal. It's constantly in the back of my mind and I'm just not sure what to do. I have even avoided JJ as much as I don't want to. Yes she knows about the assault but I hate to bother her with it.
"Sorry guys, but we have a case." Hotch calls as everyone is ready to go home.
I sigh, I really want to go home. I suppose I wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway.
I walk up to the round table with the rest of the team.
Garcia begins explaining the case but my mind is elsewhere. I caught some of what she said and thankfully this case has nothing to do with little girls or sexual assault.
I stay silent for the entire debriefing earning concerned looks from the whole team, but mostly from JJ.
"Wheels up in 20." Hotch brings me out of my trance.
Everyone except Hotch leaves the room and I follow slowly behind.
"Y/N, stay for a second." Hotch calls from behind me. He hardly ever calls me by my first name, I'm officially scared.
JJ gives me a concerned look before leaving the room.
When everyone has gone, Hotch starts. "Can you work this case?"
I look up confused. "Yes of course, why?"
"Y/N, I know about your kidnapping."
I look up in shock. I start to ask how but he interrupts me, "the background check. We found a sealed file. I had a different analyst unseal it so Garcia wouldn't have to know."
I frown and look at my feet, not sure how to respond.
"If you need to take this case off, you can." He says putting a supportive hand on my shoulder.
"Hotch, I need to be here. It will only be worse on me to stay home. Please, let me work this case."
He pauses for a moment, thinking. "Okay, I will let you stay on it, but I won't hesitate to take you off it if I feel I need to."
"I understand." I answer before leaving the room to get my go bag.
.........
Our case was solved unusually fast and we were ready to go home. I sit next to JJ on the jet in our usual seats across from Emily and Reid. I still managed to stay quiet without an interrogation from my friends or girlfriend the entire case.
Everyone else had fallen asleep as it was pretty late. I tried my best to keep my eyes open, afraid of what I will see if I close them. Despite my efforts I must've dozed off.
The tall man is on top of me again, holding my body down. I try to move as much as possible, to stall him. My best efforts were lost as he was much stronger than me. His hands started to wonder around my body.
JJ's POV:
The slight shaking of my seat wakes me up from my nap. It's the curse of being a light sleeper.
When I open my eyes, I notice the shaking is coming from Y/N. Her entire body is trembling as sweat runs down her forehead.
I knew she had been distant this case but I thought maybe she was just tired. Now, I'm thinking it's much more than that.
I reach over to shake her shoulder gently, attempting to wake her.
"Baby wake up. It's just a dream, I'm right here." I whisper hoping that the rest of the team would stay asleep.
She finally wakes up, gasping for air. "Stop, no." She says still stuck in her nightmare.
"Look at me baby, look at me. You're safe." I say holding her hand tightly.
Her eyes shift quickly. She immediately relaxes when she realizes where she is. Tears slowly falling down her cheeks.
"JJ." She says still gasping for air.
"Come here." I say opening my arms to her.
She cuddles up to my side, wrapping her arms around my waist. I drape one arm around her and gently wipe tears from her cheeks with the other.
I run my fingers through her hair trying to soothe her, her body still trembling with fear. I wish I could take it away, I hate seeing her so upset.
"Don't leave me." She whispers, her voice shaking.
"I'll never leave you." I lean down to kiss her forehead.
Eventually she falls back asleep. I hope that her nightmare will stay away for at least an hour.
........
We begin landing and the rest of the team starts to wake up.
Emily wakes up before Spence, looking at me and then down at Y/N. She stares at her puffy face for a few seconds before looking back at me.
"Is she okay?" She asks worry clouding her eyes.
"She had a nightmare, woke up trembling." I say looking down at the girl in my lap. Even after crying she is still so beautiful. I wish I knew what was going on in her head right now.
"Oh." Is all Emily manages to get out.
She looks at me inquisitively. I think I know what the nightmare is about but I can't tell Em. So, I stall.
"I'm sure she'll be okay, I'm going to let her sleep for as long as I can."
Emily nods, deciding not to push on the subject.
When we have finally landed I wake Y/N up.
"Y/N/N, we've landed." I shake her gently.
She startles slightly when waking up but calms down quickly.
Y/N's POV:
We all gather our things and head outside the jet ready to go home.
"How about I drive you home?" JJ says while grabbing my bag to carry for me.
I frown slightly. I really don't want to be alone. There is no way I will sleep tonight but it would be so much better if I had her with me.
She notices my disappointment and turns her head sideways silently asking what was wrong.
"Can I come home with you? I'm afraid to be alone."
"Yes of course." She smiles before opening the car door for me.
.......
When we arrive at her apartment I immediately go into her room and lay down. JJ lays our bags down, grabbing some comfy clothes out of mine. She brings them over to me before changing her own. She walks back towards the living room, stopping before leaving the room.
"Do you need anything else?" JJ asks from the doorway.
"Yeah.... you."
JJ walks over to the other side of the bed and crawls under the covers. She swiftly wraps me into her arms, holding me tight.
"I'm sorry, you were going to do work weren't you?" I say feeling guilty for stealing her away.
"You don't have to apologize. I would rather be here with you." Her fingers trace random patterns on my shoulder blade.
"Is the nightmare about your kidnapping?" She asks quietly.
"Yesterday was the anniversary." I frown letting a few tears trickle down my cheek.
"Baby, why didn't you tell me."
"I didn't want to bother you, it was a long time ago. It's about time I deal with it."
"First thing, you are never bothering me. I want to hear about what's upsetting you so I can help. Second, just because you have to deal with it doesn't mean you have to do it alone." She says bringing her hand under my chin to tilt my face up. Our eyes lock and I suddenly feel a sense of security.
"Just having you with me helps. I feel so safe in your arms, you seem to keep the nightmares away."
"Move in with me." JJ blurts out.
I sit up in shock, mouth wide open. "W-what?"
JJ sits up too. "I don't want to spend anymore lonely nights in this bed without you. If you want to, I want you to move in with me."
I pull her into a passionate kiss. After the kiss ends I still stay nose to nose with her, whispering, "I love you."
"I love you too. Is that a yes?"
"Yes Jay, I would love to move in with you."
We lean in for another quick kiss before laying back down in our previous position. Our legs are intertwined with each other's, my head rests on her chest. I love listening to her heartbeat, and the sound eventually lulls me to sleep.
...........
A/N: I start my spring semester tomorrow and will probably be very busy until May. I'll try my best to update often. Thank you for all the reads and likes!