He blinked. Like he hadn't heard me properly but then he quickly regained his composure, and probably his thoughts too.
"What do you mean contact her? We've been searching for her non-stop already. How do you plan on contacting her?"
Through snap maybe?
I pulled out the candle from my pocket.
"She gave me this." I looked up at him as I held out the candle.
He kept his eyes locked with mine for about five more seconds, trying to read me, I guess, before he tore them away to look at the object in my hand.
He regarded the tiny candle resting in my palm.
"A scented candle?" His brows were furrowed but he looked mighty confused as well.
"It's to contact Sarah, it can bring her consciousness to me."
His eyes remained hard as he stared at the candle and then slowly back up at me.
"Bring her consciousness to you?" He said enunciating each syllable like he was trying to understand the sentence himself. "The same thing that's trying to kill you? Have you lost your mind?" His voice was calm and somewhat quiet, but not in a good way. He seemed mad.
No kidding Einstein.
"Calm down," I tried to go for a reassuring look, "she's not going to be able to physically touch me. Hopefully." I added after a slight pause and a moment of honesty with myself.
But even as I said it I realized that I was doing a terrible job at trying to calm him down with my 'reassuring words'.
His eyebrows shot up even further this time. A little more and they'd fly off his head.
"Hopefully?" Looking away, he swallowed and pressed his lips together. "Tell me, what is your plan here Adrianne? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" He was getting worked up. I could see it, hear it and feel it. I'm sure I would even be able to taste it if I only had enough saliva in my mouth, but my mouth was completely dry at the moment.
Killed? I'd love to avoid that. Of course that's not my plan.
But our plan is dangerous. Of course he'd think that.
We're out of options here, we have to do this.
He didn't even let me get a word in. Mainly because I didn't know which one was appropriate to say in this moment.
He took a step back and regarded me.
"Were you even going to tell me about this plan of yours?"
Damon has always been a hard person to read, his eyes never gave much away. He always hid his feelings behind a cold hard facade. But I'd gotten better at reading him, and even more so, once our bond was fully established, I could feel him clearly.
But now, as he stood in front of me, I didn't need to be an expert at reading his facial expressions or need to feel his emotions through the mate link.
I could see it, plain as day. Anyone could. I don't know if it's because he knows we are the only two at home or he just doesn't care to keep a calm facade, but it was there.
He was tense, he even looked agitated but most of all he looked hurt, wounded even.
And I know it was because I was keeping him in the dark.
Again, he didn't allow me to answer because let's face it, we both already knew the answer.
I took a second to think about it. If he hadn't confronted me just now, if he'd stayed in his study and not spoken about my conversation with Sorayah, would I have told him about it?
As I stare at him now, I feel so bad for the answer but it's true, I wouldn't have.
But why?
Do you not trust him?
I do! I do. That's not why. It's been a long journey getting here but I do trust him.
Then what is it? Your hero complex making you want to do this alone?
Hero complex? I do not have a hero complex!
Doubt it.
When did you become a therapist?
I'm not, and also I think you mean psychologist.
Shut up!
She was infuriating sometimes, but I still loved her.
Yes you do.
And I loved him, but I knew the truth. If I had told him about my plan he wouldn't have liked it. He wouldn't allow me to go through with it because he'd think that it was too dangerous, exactly what he's thinking right now.
And then I would have to do it anyway because it's the only way I know how to do something to fight this, fight them.
And then he'd get mad and I'd get mad and then we'd fight and we don't need to fight right now, not now, we need to-
Work together?
Huh.
I sighed.
Why didn't I see this before. Whether he or anyone approves or not, I can't do this alone.
You're right.
I always am.
She was feeling smug again. I rolled my eyes at her.
Now that would be $3000 dollars for our session.
What? You're crazy. And I thought you said you weren't a therapist.
I have many skills.
Damon brought me out of my head after a long hard look at me.
He sighed. "You weren't. You were going to do this alone. Again."
And as worked up as he was, I saw, he wasn't angry.
He was scared.
The word 'again' brought back so many memories. Memories of a time when I did stupid things. Went in alone to meet Cassandra and almost got myself killed. Those were dark times.
Times when I was willing to do anything to win the love of my family back. I wanted them to want me again, even if it was in a form of a need. That's why I wanted to save them, with or without help.
I wanted to be... their - hm, I wanted be their hero.
Hm, maybe I do have a hero complex.
See, told yah. That would be $4000 now.
What do you mean now? Where did the extra grand come from?
The session is still ongoing apparently.
I stepped up to Damon.
"Damon, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you in the dark. Well, I did in a way, but not because I didn't want you with me." I sighed. "I didn't want you involved because I don't want you getting hurt."
"Me?" He looked incredulous. "I'm not the one they want."
"But they'd hurt you anyway. As long as you try to protect me. I can't let that happen. I can't let you get hurt. I can't let anyone get hurt because of me. I wouldn't be able to live with that."
"So you'd rather let them hurt you?" He looked so wounded. Like he couldn't believe this suicide mission I was going on.
"No, at least, that's not my plan. My plan is to fight. To fight for us."
"That's why it's our fight." He said taking my hands. "We have to fight it together. You can't do this alone."
"I know, and we will, but I have to do this alone." I pleaded with him.
He stared at me completely at a loss. Like he truly didn't know what to do with me.
"Adrianne, even if your hope carried sufficient weight and was somehow made true, she doesn't need any physical foothold to harm you. We've seen what she can do."
"Yes, to you. That's why I can't have you there."
"What?"
"That day, after she blocked your airways using her mind spells, she tried to do it to me and it didn't work."
He blinked.
"Just think about it Damon. I was the one choking her and yet she attacked you. She can't heal from the wounds I inflict on her, and once she realised that her spell didn't work on me she just vanished. For whatever reason they want me for the sacrifice must be the same reason why she can't fight me. At least not so far."
He flinched at the word 'sacrifice' but seemed to be making some sense of what I was saying.
But he still shook his head slowly at me as he pulled me into his chest.
"That's not a foolproof plan. I can't let you do this."
"We don't have time for foolproof. I have to do something." My voice was muffled by his shirt.
"You can't do this alone."
"And I won't."
He pulled back to look at me.
"You'll be with me. All I ask is that you let me handle this meeting by myself. I need to speak with her, she's not going to speak if you're in the room with me."
"How do you know that?"
"Well, now that I know she's not actually my family, I can tell you that she hates you. Like one hundred percent."
He actually had to stiffle a laugh.
It made me smile too.
"Ditto."
His smile soon faded though, and was replaced with his serious look.
"You have to let me in Adrianne," he placed one hand on the side of my face. I leaned into his palm, "don't keep these things from me, not now. Especially not now. I can't lose you." He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on mine.
And I was granted a look at one of the rare sights of Damon, his vulnerable state.
He really was scared.
I was too.
And it was stupid of me to try and do this alone.
Not now. Not after everything we've been through.
Especially not now.
"We have to work together."
I nodded at him.
"I'm sorry."
He let out a breath and kissed the top of my head.
"Just promise me you'll tell me everything, don't shut me out. Please."
"I won't. I promise." I held his gaze. And he held mine, as if searching for confirmation in my soul through my eyes.
After a beat, he visibly relaxed.
"Okay, now, what is this plan of yours?"