#DS5Unbowed #EmbRace #PuppyCouple #DaggerSeries
CHAPTER 27: REWIND
EMBER'S POV
Tumalon mula sa likod ng pick up si Trace at sumilay ang ngiti sa mga labi niya bago ako kinawayan. "Can you move away from that cliff, princess? I'm about to have a heart attack, and I'm too handsome to have such an anticlimactic end."
Kung umakto siya ay para bang normal na tagpo lang ang nangyayari sa paligid namin. Kung sabagay. Sanay naman silang gumawa ng mga ganitong senaryo.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga bago ako napapailing na lumapit sa kinaroroonan ng ama ko na ngayon ay pinapakalma ng kapatid ko na si Ellena.
"I'm okay, Pa," I said to him with a small smile.
"We're not trusting anyone again that is not family," he said through gritted teeth.
"Cristiano saved me—"
"Anong si Cristiano?" si Trace ang nagsalita na nakalapit na sa amin. "How about me?"
"Cristiano's fighting for his life. Have some sensitivity, Kuya," napapapalatak na sabi ni Coal.
"Gerona wasn't a good shot. Cristiano will live." Ngumuso si Trace at tinuro ang leeg. "Ako talaga muntikan na."
Nakangiting lumapit siya sa akin at inilapat niya ang magkabila niyang kamay sa mga balikat ko. I felt him squeeze them gently, and even though he was being his usual self and trying to lighten up the mood, I could read the worry in his eyes.
"That asshole didn't pull you too hard?"
"I'm okay," I answered.
"Nothing hurts?"
"Nothing that I can't handle."
Pinisil niyang muli ang balikat ko. He's clearly not satisfied with my answer. He rubbed his hands up and down my arm as if offering comfort even without me asking.
"Want me to do something about it?" he asked.
I have a feeling that he'll do something about it even if I refuse. Hindi na ko magtataka kung kamao niya ang susunod na tatama kay Gerona kapag nahimasmasan ang lalaki. "I think my father beat him enough for everyone."
"Not enough." Napabaling si Trace kay papa. "Pero siyempre tiwala ako sa tikas mo, Sir. Ikaw pa ba eh parehas tayong astigin?"
Nang lumingon ako sa ama ko ay nakita kong naniningkit ang mga matang nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa amin. His eyes stopped on me, and then he tilted his head in Trace's direction. "Sigurado ka na ba sa isang 'to? I could introduce you to men who will not give you a permanent headache."
Nakangising inakbayan ni Trace ang ama ko na binigyan siya ng masamang tingin. Iyon nga lang ay parang immune doon ang binata. "Ikaw naman, Pa. Bakit mo naman hahanapan ang prinsesa natin ng iba kung nandito na ang the best?"
"Hindi kita anak."
"Son-in-law."
"May panahon pa para magbago ng isip ang anak ko."
"Hindi ko na po bibigyan ng chance na makapag-isip si Ember," kampanteng sabi niya.
Lalong nalukot ang mukha ng ama ko. "Kapag bumalik na 'yan dito at napalayo sa'yo ay magagawa niya iyon."
"Kaya nga po nasa bahay ko pa rin ang mga alaga niya. Babalik at babalik siya sa bahay namin."
Magkasabay pa kaming nagsalita ni Papa dahil sa sinabi ni Trace na ngiting-ngiti na para bang hindi ilang dipa lang sa amin ay kasalukuyang walang malay na si Carlos Gerona na bitbit ng mga kapatid niya at ang nagsisisigaw na si Miss Asencio habang pinoposasan ni Thorn.
"Bahay niyo?"
"Bahay natin?" tanong ko.
Kinindatan ako ni Trace. "It's the Dawson's Housing Plan."
Napanganga ako habang tumatakbo sa utak ko ang ilang mga tagpo sa mga libro na sinulat ni Lucienne. Don't tell me that he purchased that house for me?
Binalikan ko ang araw na nagkita kami ulit ni Trace sa pangalawang pagkakataon. The weird interactions between Trace and Domino became clear. Napasinghap ako at nanlalaki ang mga matang tinignan ko ang binata na lalong lumawak ang pagkakangiti.
My father's left eye twitched while looking at the younger man, as if Trace were a bug he wanted to squish. Mukhang naramdaman naman ng lalaki iyon dahil nilingon niya si Papa. Trace let out an exaggerated sigh. "Bukod po sa approval niyo may iba pa ba akong pwedeng ipakita sa inyo na makakapagkumbinsi na ang kagwapuhan ko lang ang bagay kay Ember? Pwede akong magpa-sign ng katibayan sa mga kapatid ko na isa akong mabuting mamamayan—"
Hindi niya na nagawang tapusin ang sasabihin nang magkaniya-kaniyang tanggi ang mga kapatid niyang nakarinig sa sinabi niya.
Trace rolled his eyes. Pinagsalikop niya ang mga kamay niya at pumikit. "Dear Universe. Kung nakikinig ka man, pwede ba akong humingi ng isa pang sign para maniwala sila?" Nang walang mangyari ay binuksan niya ang isa niyang mga mata bago muling pumikit. "Mama, Papa, at Naynay pwede po bang pakitanong kay Mama Callista kung pwede po bang makahingi ng sign na ako lang ang bagay sa prinsesa natin na mahal na mahal ko?"
Nagkatinginan kami ni Ellena at parehas kaming nag-iwas ng tingin habang pigil ang mga ngiti. I was about to stop Trace from begging the universe before my father decided to eviscerate him when I felt something drop on my cheek.
Napatingin ako sa langit nang masundan pa iyon hanggang sa bahagyang lumakas ang pagpatak ng ulan na nagmumula roon.
My father looked away from the night sky, and his eyes settled on me. I know that his banter with Trace wasn't really serious. He knew... he understands now what Trace could do for me and what he means to me. Alam ko rin na naiintindihan niya ang kasiyahan na kayang ibigay ng lalaki sa akin. Because Trace was my reason for escaping the dark tower that I had been caged in for a long time.
I couldn't help but look back at what we've all gone through these past few weeks. It was by far the most stressful thing I have ever experienced. That first day when I was so full of guilt about what happened to Trace, thinking that we were over, the memories, and seeing my father in the hospital. Adding to that is the meeting at Dagger, where I have no choice but to face the reality of what I'm about to face: that I was betrayed.
Then there's the execution of the plan, where I need to pretend that I lost everything. Ang pagkawala ng ama ko, si Trace na hindi pa rin nagigising, at ang pagkawala ng madrasta at kapatid ko.
I'm not much of an actress. Especially when all I can think about is the hurt I feel from the two people I thought I could trust and my anger because of the fact that one of them deceived me. Pero nakatulong na rin siguro na hindi ko kailangang ngumiti at iparamdam sa kanila na okay lang ako dahil ang alam nila ay nagluluksa ako sa pagkawala ng ama ko. Idagdag pa ro'n na ang alam nila ay galit sa akin ang lahat ng mga taga-Dagger dahil sinisisi nila ako sa nangyari kay Trace.
And now it's over. It's finally over.
THE DAY OF THE SHOOTING
A few weeks ago...
Everything was quiet.
It's like all the noise in the world has been suppressed, keeping every sound muted. I can see everyone's hastened movements, and I can see their lips moving... despite this, they all seemed to have gone aphonic. Voiceless.
I could feel the worried glances being thrown at me, and I could feel their touches filled with concern, but it couldn't reach me. It was like I was trapped in a place where everything felt cold and empty.
I was fine with it. I welcomed the void because, with it, it didn't hurt so much.
He shielded me. He did the last thing that I wanted him to do. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ng iba kung ang taong importante sa kanila ay ginamit ang sariling katawan para hindi sila masaktan. Maybe they will feel grateful and protected. Maybe their pain from seeing them hurt will be laced with the feeling of being loved.
Not me. I feel nothing but sickening pain.
Because I remember. I finally remember the moment I saw his blood with his arms still wrapped around me. I remember why I should have never stayed with Trace. Like a curse, someone's been hurt again because of me.
"—concious."
The sound of voices surged right through me at the same time that I felt a hand on my shoulder. Nang mag-angat ako ng mukha ay nakita ko si Thorn na nakatayo sa tabi ko kung saan siya nanatili mula nang makarating kami rito sa ospital.
Buong pamilya ni Trace and nandito. Maging si Cristiano at Miss Asencio na sinundo nila Domino sa farmhouse ay nandito rin. I turned my attention to the doctor, who was now conversing with Gun.
"He was lucky that the bullet didn't hit any vital structures in his neck, but he bled a lot, and it became a concern. He's young and he seems healthy, so we're sure that he will recover fast, but we still want to keep him here for at least a few days for observation."
I wait for the sense of relief to hit me... but I still feel nothing. He's not yet safe. From me.
"Can we go to him?" Lucienne whose hold tightened on my hand, asked the doctor.
"Immediate family, yes."
"We're all his family."
Bumuka ang mga labi ng doktor pero nilapitan siya ng kapatid ni Belaya na si Cross na doktor din dito. Makalipas ng ilang sandali ay lahat kami ay pinapasok na sa kuwarto kahit sigurado ako na labag iyon sa policy ng ospital.
I felt the vice in my heart tighten when I saw Trace on the hospital bed, looking paler than I had ever seen him before. A smile curved his lips when he saw me, but even that appeared weak.
Hinayaan kong maunang lumapit kay Trace ang pamilya niya at mananatili lang sana akong nakatayo sa pintuan kung hindi ko pa naramdaman ang braso ni Thorn na pumalibot sa balikat ko at iginaya ko palapit sa kapatid niya.
"I'm okay, princess," Trace said to me when I got close.
Hindi ako nagsalita at hinayaan ko lang siya nang abutin niya ang kamay ko. He squeezed my hand, but I didn't squeeze back.
His forehead knotted, and he stared at me for awhile. Trace has always been the person who could read me more than anyone else could... but I know that this time, even he couldn't fathom what was running through my mind.
"One of my brothers will stay with you at the farmhouse while I'm here—"
"I need to visit my father," I said in a voice that I was surprised didn't break. "I received a call before we were shot at."
Bumaling si Trace kay Thorn na nasa tabi ko at tumango ang nakatatandang Dawson. "Katatawag lang din sa amin ni Warrick ng oras na iyon. Dinala sa St. Luke's ang ama ni Ember. He's been poisoned. Warrick got suspicious, so he called Leo, who was assigned to guard the Calderon house. He confirmed that there was a delivery in the house, which wasn't uncommon because Angelina Calderon often has deliveries for the day, especially during lunch and in the afternoon. Leo ended his stakeout, and he called the mansion. When no one answered, he forced access to the house. He found Angelina and Ellena Calderon unconscious. They're now in the hospital, but thankfully they consumed less wine than Emmiliano Calderon did."
Someone tried to kill me, my father, my stepmother, and my half-sister. It's like someone is trying to wipe us all out.
Before Trace could speak, Axel beat him to it. "I contacted the courier to get information. The shipping fee was paid electronically." Axel's gaze went to me for a second before he looked back at his brother. "Ember's name was in the sender details."
"W-What?" I whispered.
"They could have faked that," Trace said.
"The credit card matched. The app appears to have been linked to it a long time ago. Kakailanganin ng OTP kung i-li-link iyon sa app. Whoever did that had access to your phone before and managed to get the one-time password."
"My credit card?" Naguguluhang umiling ako. I always carry my credit card with me. Lagi iyong nasa wallet ko at kung hindi man ay nasa slot na nakakabit sa case ng cellphone ko. "That's impossible."
"May iba pa bang nakakaalam ng credit card details mo? Your email?" Axel asked.
"S-Stellan knows..."
Axel looked at me for a few seconds, and yet it was like he was seeing past me. It's like his mind is somewhere else. Pagkaraan ay tumayo na ang lalaki at naglakad palabas ng kuwarto. Sumunod sa kaniya sina Pierce at Domino.
"You think he's behind this?" I whispered, not asking anyone in particular.
"We've got the shooter."
I looked at Thorn who spoke. "Then... then why?"
"Something this big of a play? It's nearly impossible to pull it off without any help. And the footprints found at the ranch that were different from the ones found near the victims' bodies were enough proof for us to believe that." Bumuntong-hininga siya. "We'll know more after we talk to the shooter and after we know where Axel's headspace is right now. You can stay with Coal at the farmhouse, and the rest of us will have a meeting. If we can provide more clarity, we will call you. It wouldn't be long before everything ended."
"I want to be in it," I said quickly. "I want to be in the meeting."
"Princess," Trace called for me but I didn't look at him.
"I need to visit my father... my family. They might not be much of a family to me but they still are." I shook my head bitterly. "No. I need to stay with them."
"Ember..." Thorn's eyes softened.
"Can the animals stay in the farmhouse for the meantime? Si Miss Asencio at Cristiano rin. I can go with anyone you'll allow to guard me. You said it yourself. Hindi magtatagal ay matatapos na ang lahat. You've got the shooter. If you're right, then we're just looking for the accomplice. After that, I could go back home. I could go back to the ranch."
Silence enveloped the room. Only the beeping coming from the machines connected to Trace could be heard.
"I need to talk to Ember alone."
Thorn held my eyes for a moment before he nodded at his younger brother.
"No," pigil ko sa kanila. "The meeting—"
"It could wait," Thorn said and held my eyes for a moment. "We'll wait for you outside."
Wala akong nagawa kundi sundan lang sila ng tingin hanggang sa malakabas silang lahat ng kuwarto. It didn't escape my notice the confusion and the hint of disappointment in the other's expressions.
They don't know. They don't know what I'm saving him from.
That I'm saving him from me.
Sandaling katahimikan ang namayani sa amin ni Trace nang maiwan kaming dalawa. I can feel his eyes on me, but all I can do is look at my shaking hands that I have clasped tightly together.
"What's happening, princess?"
"I-I... I want to go to my family."
"And you can."
"I can't go back home with you. I can't stay forever in the farmhouse. I need... I need to go back to the ranch."
"Why?" he asked.
"I just... it's my house, Trace."
"The house that you can't even call your home," he said..
Kinuyom ko ang mga kamay ko at pilit na sinalubong ko ang sa kaniya. The pain in his eyes was evident, but I knew that it wasn't because of his wound.
"He has always been the one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He's stupidly exposed, but that's the way he is." Iyon ang salita ni Thorn noon. He was right.
"You said you can't go back home to the farmhouse. You called it home while you called your own 'house' or 'ranch'."
"Trace—"
"I thought I got inside, but did I even make it halfway? From the very start, you've been like that. Like you're waiting for me to make one wrong move. For me to give you a reason to walk away."
I felt a lone tear cascade down my cheeks. "You don't understand."
"Then make me."
Umiling ako. "Kailangan mong magpahinga. We'll talk. When... when you're okay, we'll talk."
"Will we? Bibigyan mo ba ako ng pagkakataon o sa susunod tayo na magkita ay mas nakumbinsi mo na ang sarili mo kung bakit hindi pwedeng manatili ka sa tabi ko?"
"This will happen eventually. When everything's over, I will need to go back to where I'm supposed to be."
"Why? Why would you want to go back to a place where you're alone? Anong babalikan mo ro'n kung nandito ako? Is it really that hard to stay with me?"
"You don't understand—"
"So make me!"
Napapitlag ako sa pagdagundong ng boses niya. Sunod-sunod na bumagsak ang mga luha ko at nagtagis ang panga niya nang makita iyon. Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa mga kamay ko na para bang hindi niya ako gustong pakawalan.
"They loved you," I whispered.
"Princess—"
"Your parents are gone, but they loved you. Not like me. I don't... I don't know what's real anymore, but for years all I've known is that my mother abandoned me to go with another man, and my father left me to have his perfect family. I didn't have anyone showing me how to love and be loved. I'm just going to hurt you. I'm just going to give you a reason to leave me someday and if I don't... then this will happen. Can't you see Trace? I will never be the universe's favorite person. Paulit-ulit niyang ipapaalala sa akin kung ano ang pwede pang mawala sa akin. I don't want you to be that reminder. I don't want to risk losing you when I can't even give you anything."
"Ikaw lang ang kailangan ko."
Hindi ko na siya magawang makita dahil sa panlalabo ng mga mata kong hindi na maampat ang pagtulo ng mga luha.
Trace eyes flash with pain. "Gusto mong paniwalaan lahat ng sinasabi mo kasi natatakot ka. Natatakot ka na maiwan at masaktan. Because that's what they did. What can I do to make you understand that I'm not going anywhere?"
"You almost died."
"I could have but I didn't."
"Because of me," I said quietly.
"Because of a sick asshole willing to kill someone for whatever fuckup reason he has." Huminga siya ng malalim at sumandal sa headboard ng kama. "I can't see the future, Ember. I can't promise you that I will never get hurt. But that's life. We don't know how long we have. How long will I be able to see your smile, hear your voice, and touch you? None of us have forever. And leave you? To intentionally leave you? Even one lifetime is not enough for me to have you. So what makes you think that I have enough strength to walk away from you?"
"Trace..."
"You rescued those abandoned animals without any second thoughts because you have so much in you to give. How can you think otherwise?"
"That's different. They depend on me, so they can't leave me."
"I depend on you like you're the air I need to breathe. How can you think that I can leave you?" Mapait na ngumiti siya. "You don't know how to love? That's bullshit, Ember. No one showed you how to love, you're right about that. You learn it because that's just you. You keep hurting for those people because you still love them. No one taught you, and they didn't need to. You always know how, because the kind of love that you have is greater than anything they could ever show you. Dahil binigay mo 'yon sa kanila kahit nasasaktan ka nila." He gently circled his thumb on the back of my palm. "You love me. The love you gave me... you gave it to me because it's the same thing you received from me."
If I thought I didn't have more tears to spare, I was wrong. It was like my eyes weren't the only ones crying, but also my heart, which has been hurting for a long time.
"You're scared of being left alone. Of me choosing to walk away from you someday. But that will never happen. I will never have the strength to do that. Even death couldn't keep me away. Not without me fighting tooth and nail to come back to you."
"Trace..."
"So don't abandon me. Don't leave me. Don't choose to walk away, when I never could and never will." His eyes became liquid of emotion. "I love you. Don't do this."
I want to say that, at that moment, I stayed. That I held on to him and didn't let go. But on that day... I did the same thing he asked me not to. I walked away.
That day... I left him.
_______________________________End of Chapter 27.