↝ not requested
↻ chosen by sun, again ( sunsaturs )
➣ wherein: porchay had moved to new york to study music further, to get away from the pain. he knew kimhan was there, kimhan had been there for longer than porchay. what happens when one night, one eventful night, porchay pleads kimhan for his help?
↝ trigger warnings
↻ alcohol misuse, drug abuse, blood, crazy kimhan, killer kimmy.
START
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porchay sighed as he dropped his notes on the desk, the dust particles making him cough before he covered his mouth. "you good there chay?" porchay's friend, nick, questioned him. "oh yeah, just the stupid dust" porchay chuckled, looking back up after his fit of coughs. before the two got to speak again, another loud voice echoed through the half empty classroo, soon to be filled with more students.
"CHAY, NICK!!" a girl with beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes beamed. "mia" nick laughed. "do you guys want to come to the party tonight?!" mia questioned, plopping down in the seat next to porchay. "party?" the boy asked, his eyebrows in a slight frown. "yeah! party. it's just a party between us and some seniors, maybe some from different universities too!" mia explained, her smile brighter than the sun itself.
porchay took his time to think meanwhile nick agreed quicker than he could even think. "what about you, chay?" mia inquired, nudging porchay's shoulder to get his attention. "oh, i think i'll p-" porchay was about to finish his sentence before someone did so for him. "pass" a slightly higher voice interrupted. "layla! you're finally here" nick beamed, gesturing for layla to sit besides him. the girl rolled her eyes before sitting down next to the male.
"come on chay, you should come, these parties are actually pretty fun" nick interfered, adding his own thoughts about the idea of porchay joining. the younger male sighed. it brought him back to that day. it was horrible and the fact that maybe, just maybe. it could repeat itself was not something porchay was excited for. he just wanted some peace and quiet. "fine.. i'll come" porchay grumbled, dropping his head on the desk. the three cheered before the professor walked inside the classroom and begin teaching the lecture.
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porchay stared at the people dancing and swaying to the rhythm of a song he couldn't really understand. not the lyrics but the idea. he sighed, he really didn't want to be there but how could he disagree, he was too sweet to disagree. "look chay! let's get a drink from there" nick spoke loudly, trying to get his voice over the music as he dragged the boy with him. the two girls already waiting at the spot.
"chay, nick. you two finally arrived, you missed the drama" mia inquired, she seemed pretty wasted by that point. "seems like she's a lightweight" porchay thought. "drama, what drama?!" nick questioned, interested in getting some drama spill. "you know kimhan right?" mia screamed past the loud music and porchay froze at the name.
his body froze, his mind froze. everything in him froze at the mention of his ex-boyfriend. porchay could feel himself weaken, he could feel his chest tighten as he walked backwards. just the thought of the older clouding everything else. just the thought of the older being with someone else or just the thought of him being there. porchay wanted to cry. he wanted to scream and shout. he knew kimhan was in new york, heck. he knew he attended the same university but he didn't expect the first thing to hear at the party to be his name.
since he had arrived in new york at least two months ago, he had not seen the older even though he went to the same university and had generally lived in new york way before porchay. he had never seen his face since he had left thailand a while after sending porchay the video. the video that porchay still replays woth a heavy heart when sadness overcomes him. the video that broke yet saved him at the same time.
"CHAY, ARE YOU OK?" layla shouted, her hands holding onto his shoulders, pulling him closer and away from the sweaty bodies of the people dancing. "huh.. uh, yeah. why?" porchay softly spoke, too tired to think. "chay, you literally kept walking backwards as soon as mia started talking.." layla added, pulling porchay to the free seat next to her. the other two watching them worriedly.
"are you sure you're alright?" mia inquired, her eyes giving porchay a look of worry. "yes, sorry, i just zoned out.." porchay flashed a smile, such a fake one that the others couldn't even tell it was fake. the only person who could was kimhan. he always could. "fuck, guys. look!" mia exclaimed, pointing behind porchay. the younger furrowed his eyebrows before turning around. that's exactly when he regretted his choice.
his eyes were met with the dark and cold ones of the older. kimhan was walking towards them. well, at least that's what it looked like. the latter was wearing a black tank top which revealed his defined collarbone. a tattoo seemed to peak out of there but it wasn't clear enough for anyone to read. he wore his silver necklace and with that, he wore a silver lining bracelet. his veiny hands were adorned with fancy jewels, the rings perfectly sitting on his slim fingers. porchay's breath hitched again. on his left hand, he saw the ring porchay had bought for kimhan.
it was one that rather.. stood out. it wasn't silver or gold, not fancy or luxurious. it was simple, pretty cute for the style of kimhan. it was a ring with a smiley face on it. porchay remembers engraving his and kimhan's initials on the back of that ring. at that moment, he wanted to run towards the older, jump in his arms, cry in his arms and kiss his lips. he couldn't. he didn't.
aside from those, he wore a pair of black trousers and black dress shoes, very kimhan if you asked porchay. he seemed to be holding a leather jacket in his hand as he smoked a cigarette, once again. very kimhan. his ears were pierced, he had pretty small hoops in the first hole but then a snake wrapped around his earlobe in the other. it fit him perfectly. it showed how sly he was, it portrayed and represented the true sly serpent behind his dark eyes and wik facade.
"a glass of red wine" porchay heard his deep voice order. the younger shuddered. he never heard kimhan use that deep voice with him before. he always had a softer tone, even at the time he broke up with him. he used the softest tone he could mixed with his deep husky voice. "coming right up!" the bartender spoke. porchay froze, he could feel kimhan's presence besides him, he could feel the emptiness and coldness of his touch not being on him.
"uh... hi?" nick spoke, trying to make a conversation with the older. he was ignored. porchay wasn't really surprised, kimhan never really opened up to anyone, he always shut himself down, he always pushed everyone away. "well, i tried" nick sighed, taking the glass of beer in his hand and chugging it down. porchay widened his eyes. "nick! don't just chug it down, you stupid idiot!" he yelled, slapping the latter across the head.
he heard a faint chuckle beside him but chose to ignore it. if he wouldn't, he would already be jumping in kimhan's arms again. he didn't want to do that again. at least, not now. "here you go!" the bartender came back with wine that resembled the colour of blood. "basic you.." porchay muttered under his breath, not thinking anyone heard him. he felt sudden movement beside him. he shivered at the feeling of breathing fanning over his ear. "like always~" he heard that deep voice whisper in his ear, followed by a low chuckle before he felt nothing else.
he turned around, his eyes falling on the sly smirk of the older. porchay couldn't believe it. "WHAT THE FU-" mia yelled but was cut off by layla's hand on her mouth. "what the hell was that?!" nick exclaimed in shock. "a dick" porchay muttered, turning back around to face his shocked friends. "a dick, chay, what?" layla asked, her frown way too clear. "ah! nothing!" the younger yelled, embarassed.
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sometime had passed, mia was already wasted and on the dance floor, layla was watching over her to make sure nothing that shouldn't be happening, happened. nick was flirting with some random girl around the booth and porchay? well, he was still sat on the same stool, with no drink, he just watched the starry night in hopes of an escape. he watched as the stars looked as if they flew above the sky, tears glistening in his eyes.
"you ok there?" the bartender questioned, his voice soft and calming. "yeah.. just thinking" porchay softly responded. his eyes wandering off to places that he himself did not know of. occasionally, wandering off to the man with long, luscious black hair. he missed him. porchay's couldn't lie any longer, he really missed him. he wanted to talk to him, be held by him and have him whisper in his ears like never before. porchay sighed.
"you've been staring off to nowhere since you've come here, why don't you party with your friends?" the bartender asked, looking at porchay with a soft gaze. "i don't really like parties, i only came here because i knew they'd keep bugging me about it" porchay chuckled, leaning his head back. "what's your name, mr bartender?" porchay giggled. "mark" he replied with a chuckle.
"soo, why do you work as a bartender?" porchay questioned, keeping the conversationg going. "well, i just really need to make money to make ends meet, you know?" mark laughed, pouring a drink for a man who had requested for one. "well, you sure are doing a great job" porchay told, a smile on his angelic features. one of reassurance. he knew well what situation mark was in, afterall? he was in the exact same situation at least a year previous to this one.
"thank you, most people just laugh at me and tell me nothing will come out of it" mark thanked, throwing in a bitter remark. porchay frowned. "well, they can piss off. they don't understand how hard we work for what we get but trust me, you will get far" porchay reassured, throwing in his own experience. "thank you.." mark began. "porchay, chay for short" porchay told as he smiled. "chay, thank you" mark repeated with a soft smile on his face.
"kimhan is also one of those people who just look and leave, i'm never sure whether he is judging or whether he really doesn't give a shit" mark explained bitterly. "he may look judgemental but all he really does is shut himself down, he ignores his feelings so he looks cold and ravaging but he isn't truly once you get to know him.. well, at least on a personal level" porchay explained, his soft yet breaking tone audible to mark.
"you seem to know him personally" he remarked, his eyes wandering towards the latter. kimhan was sat down on a couch, his glass of red blood wine to his lips but his eyes to their direction. they were piercing, they were the definition of eyes that could kill. however, the gaze given wasn't one to kill, it was.. softer. kinder. more welcoming.
porchay coughed. "what?! no. pfft... i just uhm, analyzed him" porchay croaked out, embarassed at his own actions. mark just laughed before pouring porchay a glass of water. "drink some water, your throat must be dry" he laughed. porchay rolled his eyes before taking the glass in hand and gulping down every last bit of the water. "and you told nick not to chug down his drink" mark teased. "that was different, he was drinking alcohol, i'm drinking water!" porchay complained but still smiled.
just as either one was about to speak, a drunken mia stormed to porchay's arms and began crying loudly and almost hysterically. "mia, oh my god. what's wrong?!" porchay exclaimed, holding mia tightly into his arms, reassuring her everything was ok. the girl was about to speak before the voice of a male chimed in. "oh. come on now, we can just dance together for a bit and then makeout" a man, around his late twenties spoke in a seducing tone, well, to his thought.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" mia yelled, crying louder. "please baby, you're soo hot!" the man insisted, walking closer towards the two. before he could get any closer, he was pulled away by a very angered layla. the man turned around in rage immediately. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO PISS OFF!" he screamed in layla's face, his eyes red and his voice loud but hoarse.
by this time, a whole crowd had gathered to witness the mess that had been created by a man who's hairline was rapidly receeding. "are you fucking crazy?! she's drunk and you're trying to force yourself on her? as if i'd let you!" layla shouted at him, pointing an accusing finger to his chest. the man was furiously breathing, his face turning a bright red in anger and fury.
"I'M JUST TRYING TO DANCE AND KISS, ISN'T THAT WHAT PARTIES ARE FOR?!" the man yelled again, slapping the girl's hand away from his chest. "PARTIES ARE FOR PEOPLE TO ENJOY THEMSELVES, NOT FOR FUCKING DRUNKARDS TO FORCE THEMSELVES ON WASTED GIRLS AND KISS WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT!" layla angrily shouted, the anger and rage in her voice clearer than the now starless nightsky.
it was very clear by now how pissed off the man was. he was about to slap layla across the face before porchay yelled. "FUCKING STOP!". the man halted his action and turned around. "you're a grown ass man who's prying on a drunk girl at a party for university students, how does that work?!" porchay accused, already tired of the latter's antics. nick had made his presence known as he took mia in his hands, even if he was drunk, he was coming out of it with the heated situation.
"WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS. I WAS INVITED HERE, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DO WHAT I WANT!" the man screamed at porchay, stomping his way closer to the younger. that's when porchay saw those eyes again. it was as if fire was blazing in them, anger ripping through them. he smirked. "are you sure you want to come close to me?" porchay scoffed, pushing the man away from him.
"and why wouldn't i?" the man scoffed as well, no longer shouting or screaming. "well... maybe because someone here won't be too happy~" porchay giggled, a creepy smile on his face. damn, he was really getting it from kimhan. "stop joking around" the man rolled his eyes. he backed up from porchay but still went closer to where mia and nick were. mark with them by then.
porchay took layla by his side in the meantime and tried to calm her down, nothing would go down well if kimhan was involved. he wished he wouldn't be involved. "can you back the fuck off?!" nick shouted, holding mia in his hands tightly, the girl crying harder on his chest. "SHE'S CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE DUDE, BACK OFF!" mark remarked too.
"MAN, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" the older man raised his tone again, trying to approach the crying mia but to his own dismay, he was punched, very roughly, in the face by mark. he stumbled, lost his balance and fell on the cold cement with a loud thud. "WHAT THE FUC-" he yelled before mark started punching his face repeatly. caging him on the cement.
he might've broke his nose by then but the latter punched mark in the stomach which made him cough before falling off. "YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST DO THAT?!" the furious man yelled before agressively punching mark. everyone started panicking at the force he was using, people were begging others to stop, to help but nobody was. mark's face was already bleeding and the man's knuckles were red and bleeding.
nick wanted to help but he couldn't let go of the crying mia. layla wanted to help but seeing the way and the force the man used, she was too afraid. everything was inaudible to porchay, the shock of the scene took him into a state of panic and he didn't know what to do. he didn't know who to ask for help. nobody would help.
but him. porchay didn't want him to be involved but he knew, he knew the only way to put an end to this was to involve him. along with that, he knew that he would do anything for porchay, if that meant to beat the shit out of a man for him. porchay shook, he wanted to cry.
his eyes searched for the darker ones, the colder ones. the ones in which the fire was blazing, the ones in which the flames were scorching. he searched for them. his pleading eyes searched for the willing eyes of kimhan until he found them. his eyes pleaded for him as the man looked into his eyes deeply, searching for those words.
he put the glass of wine down, got up and began to walk over to him. the silence in porchay's ears was loud, it was almost that of painful silence. he watched as kimhan approached him, his eyes softened but his dark gaze still hid beneath the softness. once kimhan had approached, he pulled porchay by the waist, securely holding it as he whispered in his ear. "i'm here baby, everything will be alright" was the last thing porchay heard from that same deep voice before he saw how kimhan turned towards the man.
his eyes had darkened, his sly smirk adorning his sinful features. porchay wasn't even surprised to see the gun tucked at the waistline of kimhan's trousers. he was the mafia afterall. it was now showtime.
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everyone's eyes immediately fell upon the older who was casually, no fear in him or his eyes, walking towards the man. his strength seemed useless as kimhan easily pulled him up, throwing him to the side with a force that no one had even expected. people gasped in shock to see how harsh the fall was. kimhan walked over to mark, pulling him up and seating him down on the chair of the booth. "next time, pick a fight only with those you know play fair" kimhan laughed, turning around.
the punch that the man thought was going to take kimhan by surprise failed, the older catching his fist in his own hand and with his snake ring, slicing his finger open, blood instantly gushing out in large amounts. people screamed and panicked. "who do you think you're play fighting with?" kimhan chuckled, an eerie vibe being taken from his mannerism and actions.
kimhan used his leg to kick the man's own leg, the force used making him loose his balance and once again, fall to the floor. kimhan wasn't done though. he turned around, his eyes searching for the perfect something. not satisfied, he jumped over the counter and searched. "ah! there it is~" kimhan lowly laughed, taking a big fancy and luxurious bottle from the wall, jumping over the counter again. he walked back to where the man was and with his eyes locked on his hands. he smiled.
he shattered the bottle right next to the man's right hand. the latter cried in pain, the shards piercing his skin. blood oozing out of his now unmendable scars. with a maniacal laugh, kimhan spoke. "is this the hand you punched him with?" he questioned in a low and dark tone. "speak" kimhan ordered. "Y-YES, YES IT I-IS!" the man cried out. kimhan chuckled. "that's some improvement now, isn't it?" he scoffed. sitting up.
he began to circle around the older man as if he was his prey. as if kimhan was a hunter hurting its prey. his eyes with scorching flames, devouring the man, inch by inch, bit by bit. flame by flame, he burned his thoughts and burned his mind.
"it's no fun just like this, i only made you pay for one.." kimhan whispered, stepping on the man's left hand. "isn't this the hand you wanted to slap the girl right there with?.." kimhan muttered, his cold tone making everyone shiver. "OH! and isn't it also the one you wanted to use to touch the crying girl over there?~" he added, chuckling as he took his gun out. the royal blue engraving on it shining in the starless nightsky.
"darling" he called out, his tone suddenly softer. suddenly way more careful as if the person he was calling for could break in any second. porchay knew the one he had called was him, he knew all to well. "yeah?.." porchay mumbled. "will you come here for me?" kimhan softly spoke, looking at porchay with eyes warmer and much more welcoming than the dark ones that continued to rip the man to shreds.
porchay slowly walked over, he wasn't afraid of kimhan, he wasn't afraid of what he would do. on the contrary, he was afraid of what he wouldn't do. he knew kimhan would not do anything to him. he knew that he would never dare to touch him, he had no reason to be afraid of him. you can say, he was more afraid for the man and for what everyone would witness.
kimhan wrapped his arm around porchay's waist securely as he once again whispered in his ear like a lullaby. "baby, this time, it is your choice. do you want me to kill him now or should i keep torturing him for a bit longer?~" kimhan lowly whispered in porchay's ear, leaving a warm peck on his temple. porchay thought, he wasn't sure, he didn't really know. he didn't exactly want to be the person to dicate anothers death or torture but at the same time, this was kimhan, he would do something anyway.
"kill him" porchay finalized, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in. kimhan chuckled. "your wish is my command, angel" kimhan softly lulled. "i recommend you close your eyes, cover your ears or even leave. this won't look or sound very good~" kimhan announced, his sly smirk creating shivers and shudders.
"baby, are you sure you want to stay by my side right now, it will get messy?" kimhan asked, taking a strand of porchay's hair out of his face. "it's ok, i know you won't let it taint me" porchay reassured, smiling warmly. "my angel is very smart~" kimhan praised, pecking porchay on the lips as the younger whined.
"now.. let's get this over with" kimhan lastly spoke before he stepped on the man's hand with more force, the cracking of the bone making kimhan chuckle. "pretty weak" he added. with one hand still on porchay's waist, he used the other to lean closer, using his snake ring, he sliced through the knuckles, blood gushing out almost instantly. the man cried even louder, the pain unbearable.
"now, let's say goodbye" kimhan laughed, pointing his gun at the man's face. kimhan's dark eyes were covered by strands of his black and luscious long hair, his jawline sharper than eyes and his veins bulging out. he pressed the trigger. screams, loud screams followed. parts of brain splattered everywhere, blood everywhere and the man? unrecognizable. but porchay? he was fine, his ears covered by kimhan's hand and his eyes covered by his leather jacket.
no stains of blood on him. no pieces of brain or anything of the sort on him. nothing could taint kimhan's angel. not even if he was close to kimhan's victim. "don't worry too much, i'll get my men to clean this up" kimhan announced, putting his gun back in its place as he wiped his snake ring off on the dead mans bloody clothes.
porchay's friends stood there in shock. evey single one of then. never had they expected to witness a murder and kimhan to be the one to commit it. never had they thought kimhan and porchay were something more than just strangers.
kimhan chuckled, taking porchay in his arms. "i apologize my love, i've left you broken, i've ruined everything but i promise this time. i will show you how much you mean to me, what you mean to me. i love you porchay" kimhan spoke, placing a soft kiss on porchay's lips.
porchay smiled warmly. "i also apologize p'kim, i didn't want to listen to you any further but i still followed you here even if i was hurt. i love you and thank you for being her with me , for always protecting me.." porchay softly spoke, kissing kimhan back with the slowest and most loving pace.
was it not for your pleading eyes, had i not known the pain that you hide.
➣ WTF MAN. 4K WORDS WORTH OF WHAT LMAO. I LOVE THIS ONE THOUGH, I ACTUALLY DEPICTED KILLER KIMMY MORE IG JAHAKS.
ANYWAY!! I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS ONESHOT AS I WORK ON THE REQUESTS AND OUR PROFESSORS AHHA. (PLS, NOBODY SAW ANY MISTAKES!) BYE BYE <3 🔒🤍
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