"Come on baby, you look so beautiful. Ah baby, yes, that's it! Spit on it! Aw fuck! Baby, you are doing amazing. Look up at the camera for me."
I glared up at the ceiling in a daze. The flashback of those intimate moments toiled through my mind, I felt as if I had a thousand needles piercing through my skin. It was an agonizing feeling. I have not cried this much in a very long time. I had a pounding headache, and my nostrils were closed up. This unforeseen defeat had me shaken up. It takes a lot to ruin my confidence like this. I wanted nothing but to rush outside and kick Ahmad's ass.
My eyes whirled around the room. My anxiety was at an all time high. My mattress felt like quicksand, and I felt like I was sinking. It was almost 3 am, and I could not sleep. I could not stop reflecting on the biggest regret in my life.
Adam was my college boyfriend. He was the only guy I ever had a "real" relationship with. We began dating during my freshmen year of college. He was charming and great with his words. He made me feel like I was on top of the world. As much as I hate to admit it, I fell under his manipulating tactics. Adam was not the outstanding, gentleman that he tricked me into thinking he was. In fact, he was a cheating, egotistical, chauvinist pig. I broke up with him when he cheated on me with some white girl on the cheerleading team with big tits and no brain in that cranium of hers.
Adam did everything to get me back. He bought me shoes, clothes, and jewelry. He knew I was a sucker for being showered with elaborate gifts. I took everything with no intention of ever getting back to him. It didn't take Adam long to realize that I was standing my ground. I am strong on my stance on cheaters. I don't think cheaters should get a second chance. If he did it once, he will do it again, and I had absolutely no time for that bullshit.
I loved Adam, but I knew I had to walk away. I could not look at him the same anymore.
The night it went to hell was when he showed up at my apartment belligerently drunk, and I had no other choice but to call the police on him after he called me a few choice words I don't care to repeat and trashing my place.
He was promptly arrested and spent the night in jail. Did I feel bad for him? No. Especially not after what he did next.
I've heard of girls falling victim to revenge porn all the time, but I never thought that would happen to me. I never thought Adam would resort to doing something so cruel to me. He destroyed my life all because I didn't want to go back with him.
He leaked all of the videos online we created with each other in the course of our two-year relationship. These videos were of me in compromising positions. He blurred his face out, but my face was plastered on everything with his dick in my mouth.
Even until this day, I want to kill him. I went to the police, and they were hardly any help. I didn't have enough money for a lawyer, so I had to switch colleges.
The only release I had in that situation was having my cousins, Jack, Ant, and Rudy, jump him, but the damage was already done. I learned the hard way that once something is on the internet, it never goes away.
After maybe an hour or two of sleep I got out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. Minka was there sitting alone, drinking a cup of coffee.
"Hello." I greeted her politely.
She didn't even acknowledge me. She continued drinking her coffee and acted as if I was not there.
Fucking bitch! I cannot stand her! I'm going to beat her ass one day. I swear to God!
I walked over to the fridge and got the eggs out. Usually, I rely on the chef to make breakfast, but I wanted to do something really nice for the twins after they comforted me last night.
I made the twins some of my infamous cheese omelets.
"Good morning, ladies." Opal's sister Pearl said, entering the room.
She had on a navy blue pencil skirt and a white blouse. Her hair was pinned up and she wore a light layer of makeup. She looked nice.
"Morning." I smiled at her.
Don't get me wrong, I like Pearl, but she's not Opal, who I was in dire need to talk to about this. This is not something I can bring to my family. My mom is a drama queen. I do not put it past her to roll on the ground and cry in a complete tantrum.
I did nothing wrong. Adam was my boyfriend. We did what boyfriends and girlfriends do, and that's having sex. He wasn't some random stranger I picked up in the club. It's not fair that it falls on me. Yet that is how my mom would view it. She would say the devil got to her child. I'm pretty certain she thinks I'm a virgin. We never had "the sex" talk. Everything I know now is from my own extensive research. I learned that I could get a UTI if I don't pee after sex. I learned that although birth control is effective there is still a probability that I can get pregnant.
I have a love/hate relationship with babies. I do find them appealing, but I also find them annoying. I hate the sound of babies crying, but I feel a sense of warm energy radiating from my body every time I hear a baby laugh.
I finished making breakfast and packed up the twins' lunch for the day. It's Monday in the middle of the summer, which means they have soccer practice, and I promise to take them to the brand-new arcade that opened up downtown.
The twins devoured their food, and I took them to soccer. As I waited in the car, I got a phone call from Tessa.
This bitch!
I picked up her call, and she immediately began gushing about how much of a great night she had with Kameron.
"You better have used protection!" I spat, irritated. I was tempted to hang up, but I decided against it.
I'm not jealous. There is no one that deserves this more than Tessa, but why does she always have to be a stupid bitch?
"I'm not crazy. Of course, we did!" She giggled. "He was amazing." She added.
Tessa does not discuss in graphic detail of her sex life in the way Wilfred and I do. She's quiet, but I know she is a freak. It's always the quiet ones.
"Good, 'cause I'm not helping you change any fucking diapers if you get pregnant." I was being so aggressive.
I was definitely misplacing my anger, but I could not help it. I was angry at everyone, but not as angry as I was at myself.
Tessa, knowing me and my mood swings, ignored me.
"Oh my god, Stassie. We spent the entire night in each other's arms. I think I might like him." She sounded so happy and full of life.
Fuck her.
"So how was your night with Ahmad?" She asked with so much enthusiasm, it was nauseating.
"Fuck that asshole," I said, keeping the details of what happened at the end of the night to myself.
"Aw, he seemed to really be nice," Tessa said, making me even angrier.
"He's not." I lashed out.
"What happened?" She asked, taken aback by my angered reaction.
I let out a deep breath. I did not want to talk about it. "Nothing," I uttered in a calmer tone. "He is just not a nice guy. I'm not going to see him again." I answered, containing my anger.
Tessa knows about the videos, but I played it off as if I didn't care. The day it happened, I shut myself in my room and cried the entire day. I was mortified.
I'm sure Kameron is going to fill her in any day now. I could picture the scene very clearly. Ahmad is going off about me with his friends and telling them about those videos. The videos are so explicit and cringe at the thought of him watching them.
I perked up when I saw the boys running out of the building, and over to my car. Karate was over.
"The boys are out. I got to go. I'll talk to you later." I said to Tessa before hanging up.
We grabbed some burgers, and, as promised, I took them to the arcade. While the boys were running around, I took out my phone and began looking for another job. As much as I have grown to love the boys. I did not feel comfortable, especially now that Theo's bitch ass knows my biggest, darkest secret.
▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️▪️
Author Note
What happened to Stassie is very preventable you guys. I hate to say it but men's true colors come out when they don't get their way. Especially the "nice guy".
I'm not saying not to engage in fun little videos with your partner but just be sure to never show your face. This situation never happened with me but I have a lot of close friends that fell victim to revenge porn.
I bombarded you guys with updates this week. I just love Stassie soooo much! See you guys next update.