NINA
Although I wanted to reach out to him again, I sat back and let him drive us to his home. For our date. Was it a date? I didn't want to assume, but it felt like it. Probably because it is.
I craned my neck, letting the side of my face rest against the seat.
Theo looked...really fucking good.
He smelled good too.
How on earth was I supposed to act as if I didn't want to take my dress off right there? How was I supposed to act as I didn't want Theo to kiss me? I was attracted to him, and I knew that I was going to have a hard time pretending that I wasn't.
Why do you need to? I questioned myself, wondering why it was so fucking hard to show Theo that I wanted to...feel him.
From the moment I stepped out of my complex and witnessed the absolute awe in his eyes—I knew that keeping my hands to myself would be harder than I thought. How could I when he looked at me as if I was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen?
I don't even think he realised how he stared at me, and how it made me feel.
I glanced at Theo, seeing that he wore a black t-shirt that matched the dark ink on his hands and toned arms. He wasn't wearing his glasses, leaving his brown eyes and thick lashes on display.
While he talked, I noticed that his accent was a little more prominent than usual.
I never got to ask him where he's from.
Theo cleared his throat, looking anywhere but me. It was clear he was flustered, but his attempt at concealing it was a fail. I let out a small laugh as I fixed my dress. Let me put the poor boy out of his misery.
"So," Theo started, letting the tip of his tongue run across his lower lip. "What happened?'
"What do you mean?" I asked, mindlessly playing with the seatbelt across my chest.
"You needed an hour," he asked, his voice soft. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I answered, remembering the disappointment in his voice when he thought I wasn't going to show. "I was with a friend of mine and we got caught up. I'm sorry."
I almost chuckled as I recalled my conversation with Callie.
'Stop pretending that you aren't in dire need of a thorough fucking, or a Theo fucking,'
That girl was going to be the death of me, I swear. She was convinced that I lacked the skills to pursue what I wanted, but I had no desire to prove her right or wrong.
What happened—happened.
"Okay," Theo murmured, turning a corner that led to his complex. "A close friend of yours?"
"Kind of," I answered, watching him enter the familiar parking lot. "She's a friend from Oakland visiting her grandma. She's leaving tomorrow."
I could have sworn I saw relief in his eyes, even though he was focused on reversing into his parking space.
I glanced down at his hands, watching as he ran his palm over the wheel. Theo had really nice hands. The type of hands that would look good roaming your body. I shook my head at my fucked up thoughts.
I wasn't going to think about that, and how badly I wanted it.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, turning to gaze at me once he killed the engine.
I nodded vigorously, letting my hand run over my empty belly. "Starving."
"Let's get inside," Theo said, smiling as he clicked the button to unbuckle my seatbelt for me. "Can't let you be hungry, now can we?"
I grinned and Theo's smile widened— his gaze quickly falling to his lap. Theo had a cute smile, one that showed his dimples and gave me an odd sense of comfort.
While his head was turned, the tattoo behind his ear was visible and practically begging for me to get a closer look. I didn't.
Instead, my hand opened the door and Theo followed suite. I felt his eyes on me, and I caught his gaze fixated on the ink down my spine. I loved wearing spaghetti strapped dresses for that reason.
My tattoos were my accessory, and I wanted him to look.
I wanted him to look at the tattoo he had given me, too.
Just to check if it was okay—of course.
I had been to Theo's place before, but I was a lot more nervous this time. I took a deep breath in, following next to Theo and all the way into the lobby. The entire time, his hand was dangerously close to mine. I looked down, yearning to grab his hand and hold it in my own. It looked so inviting, so big and just...there.
I don't know why I wanted to do that—I just did. But I couldn't bring myself to, so I let the sides of our arms gently graze each other as we walked.
"Did you have a good day?" I asked, observing the way he stuck his key into his apartment door. We had been talking about my day to the point I had completely forgotten to ask about his own.
Honestly, he seemed surprised that I did. A small smile played on his lips, and it warmed my heart that he liked that I asked him such a simple question.
"I did," Theo confirmed, holding the open door with the length of his arm. He stepped to the side, letting me pass through first before he shut it behind us.
"Thank you."
I looked around his apartment, thinking about the first time I was there and the delicious cup of coffee he made. Theo had a nice place, clean—open spaced and decorated with all sorts of art. I was envious of the interior, but I was quickly distracted by the delicious and warm aroma wafting through the kitchen.
"Is that..." I trailed off.
He nodded, chucking his keys on the counter. "Lasagne? Yes."
Fuck yes.
My smile stretched so far that it hurt my cheeks. I didn't know what to expect from Theo tonight, but him arranging my favourite dinner was not it. Besides that, I noticed the familiar unopened packaging of my favourite dessert.
How could he remember all those details when I had just briefly mentioned it?
There was an urge to throw myself into his arms and this time, I didn't ignore the urge. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to show him my appreciation, not only for the date he had planned but for his kindness the past few days.
Theo was kind, and it was a breath of fresh fucking air.
I mean, the guy left his motorcycle at school only because I hated driving my car. It was such simple acts that had me massively attracted to him, and I couldn't deny that I wanted to do more than just hug him right there.
But there was a little voice in my head saying don't scare him away, Nina.
However, I wondered if there was a side to him that wasn't as...kind.
Theo saw me coming and without another word, he opened up his arms for me.
"Thank you!" I said excitedly, feeling his hands venture down to my waist. He held me tightly, inhaling deeply as he buried his face in the crook of my neck.
For the past few days, Theo had been my main source of affection. As ridiculously sad as it sounded, I was touch-deprived and he always accepted my hugs.
"You haven't tasted it yet," Theo murmured, chuckling as I pulled away. "Don't thank me yet."
It wasn't the first time he told me that, but I couldn't control it.
I grasped the sides of his neck, pulling him down to my height to lay a haste and quick kiss on his cheek.
"I have to."
When I settled back down on my feet, Theo was staring at me through half-lidded eyes and his lips ever so slightly parted. The hands on my waist tightened as if he couldn't let go, not that I wanted him to. But Theo did.
After giving me a fraction of a squeeze, he stepped away from me. Theo cleared his throat as he turned his back to me, causing a frown to settle on my forehead. What the...
"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice filled with concern. Had I overstepped his boundaries? Was a kiss on the cheek crossing a line?
It sure seemed like it.
"Nothing," Theo answered, but the tone of his voice was thicker and a lot huskier. "Have a seat, Nina. I'll be right back."
I opened my mouth to speak, but Theo had already disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom. He was there for all of a few seconds, and it made me think about what he could have possibly done in such a short period of time.
I didn't question it, too afraid that I might enjoy his answer a little too much.
I sat down at the round table as I was told.
"You okay?" I asked softly, resting my chin in the palm of my hand.
Theo nodded, opening up his fridge. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Do you want anything to drink?"
"What do you have?" I asked, keeping my eyes on his back. Theo had a tattoo on the back of his neck, trailing straight down into the collar of his shirt and vanishing beneath the material. I wanted to see it, so badly.
"Wine. White, or red," he answered, about to list all the different drinks he had but as soon red wine was mentioned, I knew what I wanted.
"Red," I interrupted him, "Please."
Theo chuckled, grabbing the sleek bottle from the vertical wine holder. "Got it."
He poured a drink for the both of us, sliding mine over to me and I accepted it. While the food warmed up in the oven, Theo sat next to me.
There was music in the background, soft and peaceful. I lived in a loud complex, barely finding any silence and having a hard time sleeping at night. In Theo's place, there was nothing but serenity and a certain peace that lingered in the air.
He also had an amazing view and I caught myself staring for moments longer than necessary.
It wasn't like anything that I was familiar with, and I think I appreciated it a lot more than a reasonable amount.
"I never asked," I muttered, shifting my upper half to face him. I felt my bare knee graze against his thigh, and I ignored the chill than danced over my skin at such a mere touch. How the fuck...
"Ask what?" Theo asked, the corners of his lips lifted in a barely there smile. He was staring at me intensely, hanging on every word that I had to say.
Does he know that the way he pays attention to me only makes me want to talk more, and more?
"You have a little bit of an accent," I stated, fiddling with the stem of my wine glass. "Where are you from?"
Theo turned his upper half, too—now entirely facing me. My eyes darted lower, not knowing how I hadn't seen the silver chain around his neck before. It was barely visibly, just peeking through his shirt and I stopped staring before it got weird.
"My mother is Brazilian," Theo answered, circling his middle finger around the hem of his glass. "My father is Portuguese. When they divorced, I lived one half of the year in Brazil, and the other half in Portugal. For a few years. I don't even know what accent I have."
"Wow," I whispered, unable to comprehend how that even worked. "Every year?"
Theo nodded. "Every year. Before you ask, yes it fucked with me."
I smiled, taking a sip of my win. "The school part or...?"
"Every part," Theo confirmed, chuckling as his hand inched closer to mine. "Mostly the school part. When I turned eighteen, I told my parents that I'm tired and I need to settle down. Got accepted into the university here, and I've been here ever since."
"That was..." I trailed off, narrowing my eyes at him.
"Four years ago," Theo said. "Four years and I don't know how I missed you."
He's two years older than me.
I let out a small laugh. "I'm at home all the time. Or I'm looking after Cheryl's kids. Or Mandy's kids. I just look after everyone's kids."
"Do you enjoy that?" Theo asked, and I could tell that he was genuinely asking—and not just asking simply to keep the conversation going.
His eyes were glinting, and his body language all but screamed tell me more.
I shrugged, dragging my tongue across my lower lip. "I don't know. It's not something I want to do forever. Right now, it pays my bills and that's all that matters."
Theo nodded, pursing his lips. "What do you want to be?"
I've never had Theo ask me that many questions before, and I liked it.
"Is it insane that I have no clue?" I asked, scowling at Theo. "I have no plans. I know what I'm studying in school, but I don't know if that's what I want to be for the rest of my life."
Theo's teeth sunk into his lower lip, and I saw the hesitation in his eyes until I saw the obvious fuck it. Theo's hand finally reached for mine, holding it in his own and almost entirely covering it.
I grinned, feeling him give me a comforting squeeze that I didn't know I needed it.
The best part was the relief on his face at the fact that I was accepting his hold.
"It's okay not knowing. What are you? Twenty? You'll be okay, Nina," Theo murmured, and I smiled at his words.
"Thank you, Theo," I whispered, feeling his thumb drag short strokes on my skin.
I really want to kiss him.
Theo stared at our clasped hands as he fixed our position. He wasn't holding my entire hand anymore, instead he held my fingers as he stroked his thumb over my knuckles.
I gulped, feeling my heart rate speed up the longer he held my hand. Does he have any clue what he's doing to me? I fixed my dress, letting the material cover the top of my thighs while I subtly shifted in my seat.
"You're so beautiful, Nina," Theo whispered for the second time that evening, gazing at me through dark eyelashes. "I mean it. So fucking beautiful."
"Theo," I breathed, my shoulders releasing all the tension as I succumbed to his compliment.
Using his free hand, Theo reached between my thighs and grabbed onto my chair. Without taking his eyes off me, Theo pulled me closer to him and I gasped. He did it effortlessly, all without breaking eye-contact. I couldn't look away from him as I watched his every move.
"Come here," he said softly, lifting my chin with the tips of two fingers. "Please."
Subconsciously, I moved closer to him—as if my body had a mind of its own. He did the same, inching close enough for me to feel his familiar warm skin.
Theo had a look in his eyes, an emotion bordering on desperation and...lust. He looked at me as if he wanted to fuck me right there on that table, or give me the biggest hug.
Theo lifted his hand, and I felt him gently lay it on the side of my cheek. "Can I?"
Please do.
"Ye—" I breathed, immediately being cut off by the sound of the ovens timer ringing loudly throughout the kitchen. It wasn't the sudden oven noise that startled me, it was the loud knock on his front door. Fuck. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
I cussed everything in my head, not only for causing my heart rate to spike but for rudely interrupting us. The displeasure on my face showed, but Theo was a lot worse. His hand that had been on my cheek slowly fell to his lap and he closed his eyes—taking a deep breath in.
"Theo?" I quietly called out, watching as he stood up.
He didn't say anything.
All he did was bend down, giving me a soft kiss on the top of my head before heading to the door.
Theo's voice was soft when he spoke, "I forgot I ordered another dessert."
Oh.
He was mad at himself.
I watched as Theo accepted a bright yellow box from a delivery guy. I didn't know any bakeries that delivered after eight, but Theo must have known a few people.
He gave me a small smile, setting the box down on the kitchen counter. "Let's eat, Nina."
Dammit.
• • •
Happy new year, my loves. May this year be kinder to us all ❤️
____
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