I cover my mouth with my hand, my head is thrown back in pleasure as my other hand holds Miles's face just where it is.
God... this feels like heaven.
I whimper and I feel my legs getting weak, Miles does a great job at holding them in place, the feeling of his strong hands and his fingers digging into my skin adds to the pleasure.
"Miles" I breathe out as he makes me cum.
"When we're alone I'll let you scream my name as much as you want," he says. He's still kneeling but he looks up at me as he licks his lips.
I pull him up bu that stupid army best he always wears and kiss him.
"I'm hoping that's soon," I say breaking the kiss.
He gives my leg a smack and then hands me my clothes.
Lately I've been... needing him more than before and I seem to not be able to contain myself so we've been taking risks and doing it here, during his night shift.
He goes to pick up his gun again and somehow the sight of him as he loads the damn thing is also sexy. I have to control myself not to ask him to take me against the wall.
"I can feel you staring at me," he says without turning back at me and I close my eyes taking a deep breath.
"No one was staring at you," I say and go stand by his side.
He snickers, he knows is a damn lie.
"You know, I wish we did it more because... we're landing tomorrow," he says.
Just like that, my horny thoughts evaporate.
"I have a bad feeling," I say crossing my arms. My tail goes back and forth.
"Hey, don't. It's gonna be fine, okay?" I turn to look at him pissed off. I know someone's gonna die tomorrow.
"Okay, not everything is gonna be fine but, we're closer to Jake, once we talk to him and have the upper hand we can help take down the people from the sky," he explains.
"I'm still not feeling well about this," I say.
"God you were so happy just minutes ago... I shouldn't have said anything," he says shaking his head.
I take his hand and make him sit down with me.
"We can't stop life from happening, tomorrow was always going to come," I say. It's a sad truth but a truth anyways.
"You can stay in your room or anywhere when you don't have to see it, you know?" he brushes a strand of my hair away.
"I don't know..."
"You've been staying out of sight for a while now, I don't think anyone will think you're trying to escape or something. Just... somewhere else like always," he explains.
"Well yeah, with this, I've had to try and hide," I say resting a hand on my belly.
As expected, now it's showing.
He smiles as he touches it too.
"Another reason I want to get you back with your people it's because I think someone should take a look at you both, to know everything's fine," he says.
"Later, for now I know our son is strong and it's fine,"
"What if we have a girl?" He smiles.
"I have a feeling it's a boy," I say. "But boy or girl, I'll love them," I add.
"Hey you, hope you're good in there," he whispers to my stomach and I laugh.
It's cute, but it's funny too. He's this intimidating, strong soldier that has literally killed many without hesitating, but he's talking with a baby voice to my stomach.
"You're gonna be a great dad," I say rubbing his cheek.
He half smiles and looks down.
I know he's thinking about Spider. It's something that's weird for him, he still insists that they are not related but the way that I've seen them tlk and how much he tries to get Spider to like him... deep down I know he just shields himself with the excuse that he's not his father.
"Let's hope I'll be there for this one," he responds and I smack the side of his head.
"Don't say that, you're obviously going to be there," I say protectively holding my belly.
Miles sighs and I know he's about to deliver more bad news.
"Now what?..." I ask rubbing my forehead and sitting a little more straight.
He moves a little so we're face to face.
"Look," he begins and takes my hand. "I've never had someone that cared about me or me about them before, let alone someone who kind of depended on me," he looks at my belly now.
"So I've never had to explain to someone else that as a soldier, I may not come back," my ears twitch a little and he takes my hand so I don't move.
"Anatuat, love. Tomorrow... after they hunt and word spread around, many people are gonna get mad and they're gonna come after us and you know, if I never knew you... if we didn't have a family then I'll be fine, I wouldn't care about anything because I'm a soldier on a mission and the goal is to make it successful... but now my mission is to keep you safe." He looks into my eyes and his ears are pushed back, just as mine. My eyes are a little watery.
"You don't have to take care of me, I can take care of myself," I say in a broken voice.
"I know that," he smiles. "But, if I can keep you from any harm then I will and if tomorrow anyone comes at us then I sure as hell with help you out first. I'm a soldier, on a mission," he repeats again and I purse my lips.
"I may not live after completing the mission but I'll make sure you do," he says.
"Shut up," I say and a tear falls from my eye.
"I'm sorry love, you just have to know that it's a possibility. I may die and you'll have to fight for yourself and keep going," he has to grab my face gently because I don't want to look at him.
"Don't die..." I cry out. He gives me a sad smile.
"I'll try not to, but you gotta promise that whatever happens you'll take Jake about the plans and you'll make sure these people can't do to Pandora what they did to earth," he says.
I wipe the tears from my face and take a deep breath.
"You know, tomorrow they may not even come. What if they gather and make a plan and attack us one week later or something like that? We're just wasting tears here," I say trying to be strong.
Miles nods and gives my forehead a kiss.
"Yeah, maybe nothing will happen," he says.
-------------------------------
I'm on the deck when suddenly I hear them all coming out.
"To your positions, move, move!" The hunter is shouting.
I don't stand up, there are too many right now and I don't want to risk them seeing me.
I see Miles get into a boat with the hunter and some other men.
The other soldiers either get on another boat or go back down to the control room.
When there are fewer people around I stand up and walk to the front, the boats are looking smaller as they move forward.
I can't really see anything until one of the ships launches something and suddenly they all come up.
"Tulkun..." I whisper, my ears twitching with excitement and I start walking to the side of the ship, hoping that if I get to the roof I'll be able to see them better.
They are huge creatures and they travel in packs, I wish I could see their whole body.
But I quickly realize that this is not a pretty sight.
The hunter's boat is approaching them and I can't really see but I'm sure they're doing something to the Tulkun.
I get down and grab the jacket Miles gave me. I just use it when I really need to be close to people.
Spider had suggested that I asked for one and say that because the climate here was different than the woods I'd been lately freezing and it fit me well enough to hide my belly.
I put it on and walk to the control room. I know the scientist and the team are watching and hearing everything from there.
I don't know why I want to come, maybe because I want to justify once again hating the sky people or maybe... I don't know.
Once I get there they're all looking at a screen that shows clearly how they go after the Tulkun.
"There... ready to fire," I hear the hunters voice.
I notice there's a smaller Tulkun refusing to leave the side of the Tulkun they're pointing at.
My eyes water.
"Fire!"
I turn my face away but all the soldiers cheer. Spider looks a little traumatized and the scientist looks a little ashamed of himself.
This poor beautiful creature.
Before I can think about it I walk toward the screen and stop myself from reaching out to touch the picture. The baby is still swimming around the mother's body.
"We're bringing it there in five," the hunter announces.
Most of the soldiers go out so they can see the Tulkun up close.
"I've heard you, creature," I begin talking to the scientist. "You said you dedicated to studying the species right? so you know them and you learn from them,"
"That's right," he says a little unsure.
"Have you learned nothing then? how can you let them do this?" I ask in a firm tone. I'm fighting not to cry in front of him.
"It's part of my job..."
Spider turns to look at him with disgust.
"You should be ashamed of this and I hope you pay for it," I make the Na'vi signs for the word shame and he must know them because he lowers his head.
"I do hate it," he whispers.
I can't stand to look at him so I go, Spider follows me.
Up here is a nightmare, the body of the Tulkun is close and the baby is still swimming next to her... crying out, not understanding why any of this happen.
I can't hold it anymore and I begin crying. I try to be strong but I can't when out of nowhere an arrow hits the baby Tulkun and he dies.
I scream in pain and fall to my knees.
I murmur in Na'vi again and again how all these people are monsters, how they kill without taking life into consideration, how they live with no respect.
Miles turns around the moment he heard my screams and I notice his jaw tightening.
Some of the soldiers laugh at me and I'm not surprised. I hate them all, demons from the sky.
"Anatuat..." Spider calls me and tries to help me up but I'm down there crying.
"They killed her and then her baby," I cry out.
"I know but, come on, you have to get up," he begs me.
I don't care. I don't care if they laugh. I don't care if seem crazy. I hate them all.
"Come on," Spider tells me again and pulls my arm, I hiss at him by reflex and then keep crying.
The soldiers that went on the hunt and Miles are now coming close.
I don't want to see what they'll do to this poor creatures. I get up and start running far from here, to the back of the ship where the sea will cover the sounds and I won't have to see them.
I sit in a ball and rock from side to side as I cry a little more, everytime I close my eyes I see the weapon going through the baby Tulkun's body and the crying comes again.
"Eywa... please, set me free. Please, show me the way, let me get out of here," I pray again and again.
I can't stand it anymore, I don't want to be with the sky people for another day.
I make another pray for the poor Tulkuns that lost their lives today and hope that now they are back into the energy of the world, lamenting that they had to go through such a painful death.
After the eclipse I hear footsteps but I know it's Miles.
"My love," he begins.
"Don't touch me," I whisper as I stand up.
"Don't touch me," I repeat again in a broken voice and I cry again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to look and I didn't know how they would... I didn't know how any of this was going to go down. I'm so sorry Anatuat," he hurries to explain.
I shake my head and start crying again.
"Why? Why do they do that...? Why do they cheer for that?" I ask, I don't really want the answers.
"The Tulkuns have-" he begins explaining.
"I don't want to know! I don't care whatever the people from the sky take from them! Did you not see how they cheered for their death?! and then they killed her baby..." I'm filled with rage and pain. My hand goes to my belly, it's hurting a little.
"Are you okay?" Miles approaches me in a second.
I don't answer and just walk away.
"Anatuat, are you okay?" he asks following me.
I close my eyes as I feel a throbbing pain in my belly and rest an arm on the wall as I moan in pain.
"Where does it hurt?" he asks being by my side.
There's no point in me being angry at him for something he didn't do.
"My stomach," I manage to breath out.
"The baby," he says alarmed.
"I don't know," I hold my breath as I feel pain again and Miles holds me in his arms as we sit down.