"Where are you?" Jordan ask as I walk down the aisle trying to find the pregnancy test for Simone, I decided to just buy the test for her because she's too scared to buy it herself. "Nobody saw you since last night and you're not with Layla."
"I never said I was with Layla." I tell him. "But if you must know, I woke up early to head out to Crenshaw to clear my head."
Jordan goes silent on the other line before asking, "What's out in Crenshaw?"
I pull my phone away from my ear and stare at it, this time it was my turn to go silent on the line before saying, "Uh, my hometown. I need a reason to visit home?"
"No, it's just. . . Why didn't you say anything about you going to Crenshaw to anybody? You could have asked Olivia, me, or Layla to give you a ride?"
"Since when did I have to ask permission to go home? And I didn't ask for a ride because I wanted to clear my mind and having one of you hovering over my shoulder, that's not what I call clearing your head." Balancing my phone between my ear and shoulder, I grab three pregnancy test then head to the counter — setting the test down along with a chocolate bar I pulled my purse out my bag. "Why are you pressing this so much?"
As I hand the man the money I notice the disgusted look on his face as he bags up my items, I put Jordan on mute as I said, "I think it's your job to ring and bag my things up not to be judging me."
Placing the money on the counter I take Jordan off speaker just as he ask, "So, why won't you tell me where you're at? Are you with somebody?"
"Yes." I take the bag and receipt when the man hands them to me. "Is that what you want to hear? I'm on my way to school, I'll see you soon."
Ending the call I tuck the pregnancy test into my bag as I walk out the store, the last thing I need is for somebody to see me walking around with three pregnancy test. The store is only a short walk from the school, I should make it back in time to give Simone those test and get to class on time but I don't care about being late. I told Simone that she didn't have to worry about buying the test because I would buy them for her, all she have to do is take them.
Walking into the school I could feel the energy shift as I walk down the hallway, like there's multiple eyes on earth — even though I'm use to having eyes on me when I'm on the field but this isn't the same energy I'm getting. It's as if everybody's in hush mode, I mean, I could just be paranoid thinking that everybody is looking and whispering about me, but that's exactly what it feels like.
My phone starts vibrating in my hand, I expected it to be Jordan to be calling me but when I look at my phone I see that It's Rochelle. She's still trying to take that deal to capitalize off my relationship with Jordan, I don't want to do it because I know the second I agree, all the ex-girlfriends he had from Pre-K to now are going to be coming out the woodwork and start some drama.
And we're in a really good place right now and I know the both of us don't want the drama, especially after the drama we went through when we found out about the full history of parents past. Yeah, we're a whole lifetime movie. We had enough drama for the year. Declining the call I tuck away my phone away into my pocket, turning the corner I nearly bump into somebody.
I start to apologize but stop once I see who it is, Rochelle crosses her arms as she looks down at me. "You know it's rude to reject someone call, right?"
"You know constantly calling somebody who keeps rejecting your calls means that they do not want to talk, right?" I question with a smile, but it drops instantly as I walk around her to continue my path to my locker but she follows me. "You told me to think about it then turn around to keep harassing me for an answer."
"You had more than enough time to think about the deal." Rochelle says. "I wonder how many times I have to tell you that you can't outrun me. Honestly, I don't know why your not jumping on this deal, it's a once in a lifetime kind of deal — you're getting all—"
"I know." I cut her off as I turn towards her once we reach my locker. "I'm the one getting all the benefits by having the school capitalizing off my relationship. I understand the deal, I understand how this is help out everybody but anything that sounds too good to be true, usually turns out the opposite."
"This is too good to be true which why you need to take this deal." She says as she crosses her arms. "The only thing you're going to be doing is posting a pictures of you and Jordan? Which a lot of couples do these days. Doing some interviews and a couple photoshoots. Then depending how that goes those connections can get you on sport illustrated and much more, but you have to get through the couple stuff first. We're just trying to help you help all those little girls who you're fighting for to have real chance at being taken seriously on a male populated sport."
"Give me a couple more days to think and I'll find you to give you an answer."
"That's what I like to hear." Rochelle smiles as she starts to walk away from me. "I'm just a phone call away. Incoming call from your boyfriend."
I didn't even have time to turn around when a pair of arms wrap around my waist, Jordan smothers my neck with his face. "You never answered my question. Where was you—"
"I did actually. I told you that I went to Crenshaw." I turn around to face him. "Why do you keep asking me that? Wait, is this one of those moments? That the boyfriend ask where the girlfriend is at because he was somewhere he had no business being?" I question jokingly.
"No, this isn't one of those moments." He stares at me before asking, "Are you okay?"
I almost flinch at the question but I kept my composure. "Yeah, why are you asking?"
I notice how he hesitate to answer the question. "Uh, no reason. It just look like you got a lot going on your mind. Thought you might need to be de-stress."
"No, I'm fine." I assure him. "That's why I went to Crenshaw so that I can de-stress."
"Okay, you'll let me know if something, right?" Jordan questions, I force a smile and nod my head. "So, my dad and Spencer are looking for you."
"Maybe I'm not fine after all." I mutter. Yeah, I figure it would only be a matter of time before Coach would come looking for me for missing all those practices. And since Layla decided to tell Spencer about her dad not being home after we came up with that lie that he was home all winter break, I know Spencer's just waiting to give me a ear full. A group of girls walk pass laughing with one another but when our eyes lock they lower their voices and quicken their pace. "Um, have you notice how weird everybody is acting lately?"
"What do you mean?"
"It just seems like everybody is staring at me and whispering."
"No, I didn't notice anything like that? Did you hear what they were saying?"
"No."
"Well, you know where there's love there's hate." Jordan shrugs. "Comes with us having a good and healthy relationship, and being have the State Championship title."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." I stand on my toes to place a kiss his lips. "I was trying to get my things out my locker for class but you and Rochelle have now successfully distracted me from doing now. I have only three minutes to get to class and I still have to make a run before I even go to class."
Jordan steals a kiss from me then takes my bag and hikes it over his shoulder. "I'll go with you."
"You'll be late."
He shrugs. "We'll be late together then."
I shake my head and take his hand. "Let's go." I had ask Simone what her first class when I was on the bus coming back to Beverly, standing in front of the room door I wait for her to see me before gesturing for her to come out class.
"She was the run you had to make before class?" Jordan says with so much distaste in his voice. "If you would have told me that then I would have just went to class."
"You're the one who decided to tag along." I remind. "And what's wrong with me coming to see her? She's a friend."
"She's a friend? How is she a friend? You just met her. Do you know you can even know if you can trust her?"
"How can you truly trust anybody? You take a risk by trusting somebody and hope that you have your trust to the right person, it's a risk all the time. And the people closest to you are often the one who betray you the most."
"Are you saying you don't trust me?"
"Where did you even get that from?"
"I read between the lines."
"Well, you must have read somebody else lines because that wasn't between my lines."
"All I'm saying is that you shouldn't trust her."
"She's coming so we're not talking about this anymore." I turn towards the door when she comes outside her class. "Hey, I got those things you needed."
"What things did I need?" Simone questions, I dart my eyes down to her stomach a couple times before she catches on. "Oh, thank you."
"No problem." I take my bag from Jordan and place it on the floor, I take the bag out and hand it to her.
"Thank you." Simone takes the bag, she press the bag to her chest as I pick my bag back up and Jordan takes it back from me. "I was so scared to go in there and get it myself. You are a—" She starts moving her arms really fast and the bag goes flying out her hand and into the class, the items scatter onto the floor. "Oh, my god."
"Hey, here's your. . . " One of the girls gets out her seat and walks over to the items. "Uh, pregnancy tests and snicker bar." The class goes dead silent at the announcement of pregnancy test, now she know she could have just pick it up and handed it over without announcing what it was.
She tries to hand it over to Simone but she's looking down, clearly embarrassed about her class knowing that she might be pregnant and before my brain could even catch up to what I'm doing I find myself taking the items from her. "It's my pregnancy test."
"What?!" Coach voice fills my ears, hoping that it was just somebody who sounds like him I slowly look over my shoulder I see him standing on the other side of hallway.
Obviously after the whole claiming Simone pregnancy test as mine then somebody airdrop a picture of me buying the tests, all while Coach decided to walk pass. I don't know what I was expecting from Coach when he overheard that, but I definitely didn't think that he'll pull not only me and Jordan out of school but Spencer and Olivia as well.
I drove back to the house with Coach, we didn't speak to each other during the car ride instead he made calls for my parents and Mrs. Bakers to house for an emergency meeting. Fast forward an hour, Jordan and I are sitting on the couch watching their reaction when Coach had explained the situation to them.
"How could you let this happen?" Dad questions as he turns towards Coach. "Sam, go pack your things, you're moving back home."
"Wait." Olivia jumps to her feet. "Sam's moving back to Crenshaw?"
"Yes." Dad confirms.
"No, she isn't going anywhere." Coach says otherwise. "And I didn't let anything happen. I haven't been in this house in months."
"So, it's my fault?" Mrs. Baker questions as she cross her arms.
Jordan leans towards me and whispers, "Should we jump in the conversation?"
I shake my bead. "Not yet. Let them keep going for a little longer."
"Okay." Jordan starts to lean away but stops to whisper, "You're not pregnant are you?"
Without looking at him I place my hand on his face and push him away from me. "I'm just saying, when I was here this wasn't happening." Coach says. "But now that I'm gone, our babies are having babies."
My mom wasn't really even in their conversation. "I'm to young to be a grandmother."
"Well, I'm just saying none of this would have happen if she was in Crenshaw." Dad says, he shakes his head. "I should have known this was a bad idea. Having my daughter who's dating your son living under the same roof."
"Are you gonna keep the baby?" Olivia questions.
"No!" All our parents, plus Spencer, exclaims.
"How are y'all going to decide what she does with her body?" Olivia ask.
"There is no baby. Look, Jordan." Spencer sets a heated glare on him, if looks could kill Jordan would've been dead years ago. "You know I look at you as a brother, as family, but if you got my sister pregnant, all that goes out the window. You gonna have to run me that fade."
"I'm so disappointed in you." Mom tells me as she shakes her head. "I always thought it be Spencer who would slip up and make me a grandmother first, but even then I still had a couple more years before that happened. What about football? You're going to throw away your future to have a baby? What about not becoming the stereotypical black girl who gets pregnant at 16?"
"Okay, enough!" I exclaim. "Jordan and I are not sexually active."
"Yet." Jordan quickly adds, I slowly turn my head towards him and he must have read what my facial expression was saying because he says, "Not helping. Sorry, continue."
"I'm not pregnant. I can take as many pregnancy test you want me to but they will all say negative. I had brought the pregnancy test for my friend, Simone, but she had drop them on the floor and everybody started talking about it. She looked embarrassed so I step up and said it was mine, I'm sure once they realize that my belly isn't getting big and her is, that she was the one pregnant the whole time. If she is pregnant."
"That was very considerate of you." Mrs. Baker tells me.
"That was." Mom agrees. "Which also means I have a couple more years before I have to be a grandmother."
"Okay," Coach cross his arms and clears his throat. "I think we should still have a safe sex talk with the kids when they do decide to become sexually active."
"The safe sex talk is two years too late." I inform them.
"What do you mean it's too late?" Spencer questions.
"Uh," I look around the room to find that they all, expect Olivia, are genuinely confused. "Y'all do know that I'm not a virgin, right? And I'm pretty sure Jordan isn't either."
"You're not?" Our parents, plus Jordan and Spencer, questions.
"I ran away to be with my drug dealer boyfriend for a year, you think I came back with my virginity intact?" I questions. "Be for real."
"This is just too much to handle right now." Mrs. Baker says as she rubs her temples with a sign. "Y'all go upstairs, the four of us have to talk." Jordan and I stand up from the couch and start to walk towards the staircase. "No, Sam, you go upstairs. Jordan you go, uh, to the bathroom."
"What am I going to do in the bathroom?" Jordan questions.
"I don't know." Mrs. Baker grabs a lollipop off the island counter and holds it out towards him. "Go find out how many licks it take to get to the center of tootsie pop."
Jordan takes the lollipop and heads to the bathroom, sulking. "One. . . Two. . . Three."
"We need to talk." Spencer walks pass me on the staircase, the look in his eyes lets me know that we are most definitely going to have this conversation. lol Olivia looks at me with a serious expression as she follows behind Spencer, yeah, I'm not getting out this conversation. I follow behind them upstairs and down the hallway to Olivia room, I barely even made it into the room before he starts questioning me. "So, you were lying to all of us all this time?"
Olivia cross her arms, I can hear how hurt she sounded when she ask, "And why would you need to lie about something so small like that? And to me?"
"The only reason she would lie about something so small. . ." Spencer trails off as he cross his arms. ". . .because she's hiding something much bigger. So, what is it?"
"It's—"
"Don't tell us it's nothing." Olivia cuts me off.
"You just going to keep lying to us, huh?!" Spencer questions, I flinch back at the tone he's using. "You seriously think I don't know when something's wrong with you, Sam? Chris isn't the only one who can just look at you and know when you're out of it. I knew you were out of when you avoided me all winter break, but after you blew up on me at the beach I decided to let you deal with it. But clearly you can't because you haven't. You're missing games—"
"I missed one game. And y'all lost that game anyway so I don't see what's—"
"And you're missing practice." Spencer cuts me off to continue his rant. "And it has been way more than just one practice. You have never missed a practice a day in your life."
"I've just been busy is all." I inform them.
"Busy doing what?" Spencer questions, raising one of his eyebrows. "I don't know what has happened since the state championship but took a toll on you."
"Seriously, Sam." Olivia speaks up. "You're not the same as before. You're not as happy. You're not as present. Every time we hang out, it's like you're not even there, I'm basically alone. So, just tell us what's going on with you."
"Okay." I walk pass them to sit down on Olivia bed, I figure that giving them a little would satisfy them enough to stop asking, just let them in a little then let them know that I'm fine. Just enough to put them at ease. "I can't really remember when I started feeling like this, but it was definitely a couple days before the game, I was feeling sick. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. I just didn't feel like doing anything or being around anybody. I just didn't feel. And I know that y'all wouldn't just let me be so I avoided and ghosted y'all all winter break, but I'm fine. Winter break is what I needed to snap out of it."
"I knew it!" Olivia exclaims, looking proud. "I kept telling you and Jordan that there was something wrong with her."
"You knew it?" I mutter to myself in disbelief.
"And we never disagreed with you." Spencer says. "We just said that maybe—"
"I'm sorry to interrupt the fact that my twin brother, best friend, and my boyfriend was having secret meetings about me." I stand up from the bed. "But you knew it? After I just said all that, finally opening up and then you turn around and say 'you knew it'? You want a trophy for figuring out that I was feeling down for a couple days? You care more about being right than about my mental. And this is why I rather fight depression then ever tell y'all about it because of this right here."
"Kids!" Coach yells, breaking the tension between the three of us before I said something that they were going to regret. "You can come back downstairs now! And you can come out the bathroom, Jordan."
"I won't ever tell y'all anything else." I tell them before I walk around them, Olivia tries to stop me by grabbing my arm but I snatch my arm out her grip then proceed to head out the room and downstairs.
All the adults are lined up, ready to tell us what they were talking about, so we lined up in front of the staircase. Jordan is the last to join us but when he does he holds up the lollipop stick and says, "I lost count."
"Anyway." Mrs. Baker just stares at him before clapping her hands. "So, aside from the rule that the two of you are not allowed alone in the room together unless there's somebody is upstairs. There'll also be some changes around here, being that Jordan and Samantha are now in a relationship, we decided that it's best if the two of your rooms aren't on the same floor anymore. So, Jordan you'll be moving your things into the guest bedroom downstairs and Sam, you're going to be switching room to the room closer to the master bedroom."
"I can take the guest bedroom." I offer. "I don't think it's right to kick Jordan out his room, I don't mind switching rooms. And now that this very awkward situation. . ." I trail off as I gesture over to Jordan. ". . . The two of you haven't officially met, Dad this is Jordan. And Jordan, this is my dad. The two of you haven't officially met yet."
"Nice to meet you." Jordan walks towards my dad with his hand outstretched. "I'm sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances."
"I wish the same thing." Dad takes his hand.
"Samantha." Coach nudge his head to the left then steps off in that direction, him using my government name lets me know this is a serious conversation.
I silently leave Jordan and my dad to talk while I step off with Coach. "Yes, Coach?"
"I think you know what I want to talk to you about." Coach crosses his arms. "Why haven't you been coming to practice? It's fine to miss one or two practice, but you haven't been to practice in weeks. So, let me hear this excuse you have on why you haven't been coming to practice."
I know that he wasn't going to fall for the I've been busy, Spencer and Olivia didn't even fall for that. "Mrs. Baker have Olivia and I partaking in this Solo Muse thing."
"Oh." He clears his throat as he looks at Mrs. Baker for a brief second then looks back at me. "Well, I'm going to pull you out for your other extracurricular activities, but you need to prioritize between the two or have better time management. And we're going to need to discuss your punishment when you come back to practice, but we can talk about that in my office."
I need to be punish for missing practice for this long, whether that's me having early and Saturday practice for two weeks or whatever Coach has for me. "Okay."
After clearing up The Bakers house I had decided to check in on Layla, I haven't seen her at school and I haven't spoken to her. The last time I actually held a conversation with her was when I first went to the Solo Muse with Olivia, and I told her that I would be spending a couple nights at The Bakers. Being that I haven't seen her or spoken to her in a while, I don't know when Spencer had the time to see her.
I want to check in on her and I also want to know why she deviated from her plan, about lying about how her dad was back in town but now suddenly just admitting to Spencer that he has never came back. I tried calling her a couple times to find out why she told Spencer, but she never answered any of my calls.
I tried knocking on the room door but it's quiet on the other side of the room, using my key card to get on I push open the door and I'm welcome by pure darkness. As I close the door behind me I flick the light on, turning around I see that the floor is decorated with trash and shoppings bags.
"Are you mad at me?" Layla questions when I spot her sitting on the bed surrounded by shopping bags. "Did I do something wrong? Because if I did then I—"
"I'm not mad at you." I assure as I drop my bed and sit at the end of the bed. "Why do you think I'm mad at you? Should I be mad at you? Is this about you telling Spencer about how your dad hasn't been home this home time?"
"It's just you suddenly announce that you were staying at The Bakers house, then I haven't seen you or heard from you in days. I just thought that you would move out—"
"I had told you that I was going to be staying at The Bakers for a couple days so that Liv and I can catch up. You know. . ." I trail off, closing my eyes I take a deep breathe before I open them again. "Layla, this. . . This is becoming just a little—"
She cuts me off before I could finish my sentence, she pulls a small square box from inside one of the many bags on the bed. "The bracelet that I brought for you finally came." I take the lid off the box to see the diamond bracelet, she holds her arm up and dangles it. "I had decided to get us matching pairs."
I close the box and set it down, the bracelet feels more like a chain than pretty accessory and I can't take this from her. "I can't accept this, Layla."
"Yes, you can." She chuckles. "I told you I was buying it for you at school the other day, so what's the problem with it now?"
"It's just too much. It's all too much."
"What's too much? That I got us matching bracelets? What's the difference between this bracelet and the one that Olivia gave you on your birthday?"
I caved in. "You're right. I'm just overthinking things. Thank you." She opens the box and takes the bracelet out, securing the bracelet around my wrist but that's when I saw her wrist in the progress. "What are those scars?" Layla looks down at her arms for a seconds before she moves her arm away and starts pulling at her sleeves. "Layla, don't tell me. . ."
"I'm sorry." Layla looks at me with watery eyes.
"This is what I mean by too much, Layla." I stand up from the bed. "I can't do this. I can't handle this. I'm barely keeping myself afloat, I don't know how to keep you afloat too."
Please, don't leave. You're the only positive thing I have going." Layla pleads. "It's just you left and I felt so alone, and those days you were gone I felt nothing. I just wanted to feel something. But please don't leave me. Please don't leave me alone like my dad did."
This is my fault and I have to fix it.
"It's okay. I'm here now and I won't leave." I comfort Layla until she falls asleep then I go to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me I turn on the water for the shower but I don't get in. I stare at my reflection in the mirror as I push my hair out my face and offer myself a smile then lowly say to myself, "Everything's okay, Sam. You're okay. You're okay. You got this."
I look away from the mirror for a brief second to look at the pair of scissors resting on the counter, then I look back at the mirror when an idea came to mind.