Don't forget to listen to the song <3 !
Puma Blue – (She's) Just A Phase
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Ezra's POV
The room felt so empty. I felt empty. The only source of happiness I had in my life was gone. I felt lonely without her. Hell, even saying her name gave me a burning sensation in my throat like I was about to cry. I hated that.
"You messed up big time." James said. I looked over at James. I felt down. I couldn't even disagree. I lay my head on my desk.
"Why did you say those things, Ez?" He added, sighing.
"I don't fucking know why." I snapped, angrily. But I knew I wasn't angry at James, I was angry at myself.
"You betrayed her, Ez."
"I know." I mumbled, feeling the tears in my eyes.
"You should find a way to redeem yourself." He said, walking around my room. "Like a gift or something."
"Where the hell can I get her a gift?" I asked.
"At any shop in Jericho!" He laughed.
I shook my head. I felt so low for what I did to her. I felt ashamed of myself. I promised myself that I would never hurt her with my words ever again.
"Fucking hell, James." I choked out, a sob coming out of my mouth.
"I know, I know..." He cooed. "But you know damn well that crying won't bring her back."
I kept sobbing though, I couldn't help it. I lost her.
I lost her.
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I was still limping because of my calf and I didn't sleep the whole night because she was crying and I could hear her crying. So you can only imagine how I looked. Like a literal zombie. Guess the nickname zombie-girl suits me after all.
As I was walking to my Math class, I felt the nerves building up because Enid sat next to me in that class and our seats were assigned so we couldn't change them.
I always managed to arrive to my classes early. When I got in, she was already there, sitting in her assigned seat next to me. She looked at me, with a stare void of any emotions. I waved at her and gave her a small smile. She turned away and visibly gulped.
I sighed and sat down. Soon enough, the rest of the students came in and so did Miss Clare. I straightened up and got my math book and notebook out of my bag, only realizing I forgot my pencil case.
"Fuck..." I muttered. "Hey Enid." I whispered to her.
She glanced at me and that's when I noticed how tired she looked. It was obvious that she put some foundation to hide the bags under her eyes. She looked paler than usual. It broke my heart.
"Do you mind if I borrow a pen from you?" I murmured shyly.
She fished a pen from her pencil case. It was a pink one with a little fairy on top of it. I cringed a bit. But hey, that's Enid.
"You seem to not like it. Well, take it or leave it." She snapped, giving me a dirty look.
I gave her an awkward smile and thanked her.
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This class was hell. I could not stop sneaking looks at Enid and I knew she noticed that. I couldn't help it. Part of it was because of the guilt, part of it was because no matter what, my body feels connected to hers in ways I can never explain.
"I want to take you somewhere." James said.
"Where?" I asked.
"You might not like it though." He replied with a nervous tone.
"Let me guess: the place where the final battle happened between you and Elliot and the pack of werewolves?"
"Yeah..." He smiled awkwardly.
"Why the fuck do you want to take me there?" I questioned.
"Maybe it will change your headspace?" He chuckled.
"I'm not sure about that..." I pondered. "You know what? Fuck it, let's go."
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When we got there, I felt the heaviest weight on my shoulders. I felt like the whole world was crashing on me. It was almost as unpleasing as seeing Enid with Ajax. Sorry Elliot.
I started walking around and stopped in front of a tree. There was some blood on it, old and brown. I touched, feeling chills up and down my spine. My brother's blood.
I closed my eyes and then I saw him.
*VISION*
I found myself in the same forest but everything was white. The grass, the trees, the leaves. I was all in white as well. I turned around. James wasn't there. I was all alone. I got scared so I started calling James. No reply.
"Funny how you're calling James when I brought you here."
Elliot.
I couldn't speak. There was my brother. I have avoided convoking him ever since he died. I couldn't. I knew I wouldn't be too painful.
"I've missed you, Ezzy." He said with his typical charming smile on his face.
He was all in white as well. His dark brown hair still neat and short, his green eyes twinkling. He was still wearing his glasses. He looked dashing and mischievous like he always did. I smiled.
"I-I've missed you too, Ellie." I stuttered, still not being able to grasp what I was seeing. I knew this wasn't real though.
"I've been watching over you. You've been really messing with our parents." He joked.
I laughed. "Yeah. But they've been a pain in the ass as they always have been. You were always the favorite child and I was the black sheep."
His smile faltered as he approached me. "I never liked the way they were treating you, Ezzy."
"I know, you always used to defend me."
He sighed and smiled again. "I see you've started to like Nevermore."
I cleared my throat. "Not really honestly. Especially recently."
He smirked. "Is it because of your situation with that wolf chick?"
I froze and immediately felt the guilt immerse me. "I'm so sorry, Elliot. I don't know what got into my head for me to get involved with a werewolf. I just-..."
"Relax!" He interrupted me with a laugh. "I'm not here to make you feel bad for liking that girl."
I scoffed, feeling my cheeks heat up. "I don't like her."
He gave me his knowing smile. "I may be dead, but I can still read your mind. Don't lie to me."
I sighed in defeat. "I hate your powers sometimes."
He burst out laughing. "Listen, Ezzy. You don't have much time left here. I need to tell you something."
"What is it?" I asked, feeling sad because I knew it would take me a lot to actually be able to convoke my brother again.
"Never let her go, she cares about you so much. See you soon, little sis." He stated, winking.
"No! Elliot! Wait!" I shouted.
*END OF VISION*
I felt myself choking and struggling to breathe as I ran back to the school, forgetting my injured calf, forgetting James. Forgetting everything. I ran like a crazy person back to my room where I collapsed on the floor.
"FUCKING HELL!" I shouted, punching the floor.
I felt weak. I missed my brother. I missed Enid. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I couldn't, I really fucking couldn't.
I stood up and punched the walls, completely disregarding the pain in my knuckles.
"Ezra..." Someone softly said. I couldn't identify who it was. And for a split second, I hoped it would be Enid. Only she could calm me down.
But it was Sheila.
"Are you okay?" She asked gently. I stood up.
"Leave me alone, Sheila." I spat.
She sighed. "I'm not here for anything, Ezra. I'm just worried about you. I heard your screaming. After all you sleep right next door."
Which means Enid heard it too yet she still didn't come. Of course she wouldn't! You treated her like shit.
"Well thanks. But I don't need your help. I'm good." I smiled sarcastically as I tried to walk past her.
"Show me your knuckles." She said in a soft yet demanding tone. I felt obliged to do so because her voice was very sweet almost putting me in a trance.
"They're badly bruised. We should put some ice on them." She mumbled as she stroked them. Her touch was warm and comforting and as I looked at her, I saw the concern on her face. It was nice to feel someone be worried about you.
"It's okay. Don't worry about me." I muttered. She looked up at me. Her brown eyes were twinkling. She smiled. It was lopsided. And then, she grabbed me by the back of my neck.
I knew what was coming but I felt unable to stop. I don't know why.
And then she pressed her lips on mine.
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Damn... Sheila has entered the game, full power as well:")
~M