To my surprise out here is raining so I close my eyes, letting the rain hit me, breathing in the fresh air from water giving life to the vegetation.
"What are we supposedly doing here?" he asks.
"Shut up, close your eyes" I instruct him and hesitantly he does.
"Breath in... deep breaths" I see his chest moving up and down.
"Listen carefully and try to notice everything"
"What else am I going to hear apart from rain and insects?" he jokes.
"What do you smell?"
"Wet grass"
"How do you feel?"
"Wet"
I shot him a death stare and he must have felt it because he half opens an eye.
"I do feel wet, what the fuck else do you want me to feel?" I look down and notice that he's wearing boots, I kneel down and start taking them off.
"Woah woah, what are you doing?" I just signal to my bare feet and he scrunches his face as he takes his boots off.
"Now tell me, what do you feel?"
"Wet earth" I can't contain myself and this time I slap his head, not even he saw that coming. For a moment I'm afraid that he might hit me or scream at me but he seems... happy that I hit him.
"I feel earth, and rocks, and water" he says.
"Very well. What do yo hear?" he sighs and I can see his ears pointing up... listening intently.
"Water hitting the base and insects" I hit him again and he hisses.
"We're under the rain, stop mentioning the water!"
"Then what the hell do you want me to mention Anatuat!?" he explodes.
"Anat-tuat" I correct him.
"What?" his face of disbelief almost makes me laugh.
"My name, it is pronounced Anat-tuat"
"Ana-tuat" he says.
"Anat... tuat" I repeat slowly.
"Anat" I lift my hand as a warning sign that I will hit him again if he says it wrong.
"tuat. Anat-tuat" he says and I nod.
"Come on" I tell him and start walking, more like running, towards the forest, further from the base.
I start by showing him the plants that are affected by water and the bioluminiscence of everything here.
"Rain is a gift from out mother Eywa, it nourishes this plants and provides us with water to drink and clean."
"You drink this stuff?" He scrunches his face again.
"Of course, this or the rivers... they have the purest water."
He seems shocked.
"I guess we must had been able to do something like this back on earth, many many many years ago."
"Oh yeah, I heard that your planet is dying. It's all your fault."
"How is it my fault?"
"Is all of yours, you take and you take and you take and destroy. You need to learn some respect"
I show him how to drink from a plant without hurting it, without pulling too much. Giving thanks to the earth for such a blessing.
"It is important to always give thanks for what we have and what we take from the earth."
He gives thanks with his words and with the signs I showed him.
"Very good"
"Is there anything else that you have to show me right now or can we go back to the base?"
I would like nothing more than to see him shiver when the air starts coming but... what if he didn't want to come here again?
"I can show you more, later" I say
"Okay then, let's go" he says and this time instead of cuffing me he just takes my arm as we walk back.
---------------------------
A month has already gone by and I almost can't believe it. Everyday the squad takes Spider and me out, we talk and walk and try to show them how to move, hunt, give thanks and live with the earth, not from it.
Needless to sat not many of them are that into it, they're good at learning and they like to hunt but I can see that they're not understanding at all what we're saying.
We show them to hunt to eat, only to grab the necessary and for them is like I showed them some kind of game where the throphy is who kills the most.
They also don't listen that much to Spider or me when we tell them to stop, so we kind of stopped trying.
What I am surprised about though is that the coronel keeps coming almost every night to get me. There's something weird about him but I haven't been able to figure out what.
When we're together I sometimes forget that he came from another star... that he's not the brother of my people. He listens very intently to everything I say and he's getting very good at it, even during the day, I can see that he takes a little bit more time than everyone else when he touches something or listens to something new... he's learning to apreciate Pandora.
And I'm learning to apreciate him I think, but I prefer to bury that thought in the back of my mind.
My abdomen has began it's monthly pain and as I realize that today I will still be held in this fucking cell I have to swallow my pride and call for Quaritch.
More than calling for him I start talking to the cameras in the cell, hoping that whoever saw me would understand.
"Okay sweetheart, what's the matter?" He comes after a while.
"I need to go out"
"No shit" he says crossing his arms with a smirk.
"I need to go out. There's things in the forest that I need right now." I explain.
"What do you need? I'll get it for you" he offers but I don't want him to. I walk close to him.
"Miles, please. Just let me go" I say and I have to hold my body as I feel a cramp.
He looks down at me suspiciously and then back to my eyes.
"So the Na'vi bleed too" he says.
"Of course we bleed you idiot" I say and he shows me his palms.
"Okay okay, calm down." He looks at something in his wrist and then at me.
"We're shuting down in two hours, can you... be okay until then?" He asks.
I just nod.
"Okay then, I'll come for you soon" he says and he takes a look around my cell.
I do too.
There's nothing but the table and a soft rectangle on the floor, this I use to sleep on.
"Do you want... a blanket?" He asks scratching the back of his head.
I just tilt my head.
"I don't know, maybe being warmer will help" he says.
"Fine then, I'll take your blanket" I say and he nods.
He comes back very soon and I see him holding a piece of fabric but also another type of soft rectangle, only that this one's a little smaller.
"A blanket and a pillow, I'm sorry for not giving this to you earlier" he says. It takes me a little by surprise that he apologizes but it's fine.
I thank him with signs as I take the things from him and put them over the... mattres he called it that.
"You know, you'll be more warm if you actually used it" he says as he leans down and takes the blanket.
He opens it and this thing is huge, he then walks to me and covers me with it. It smells kind of sweet and a little bit like him...
It is true that this thing covering me somehow feels better for my body.
"There you go" he says.
"Thanks" I bow my head a little.
He looks at me and nods.
"I'll come back for you in a while" and so he goes.
I sit down in the matress and let my body rest in the blanket, I wonder if this was his or if it just took up his smell when he dragged it here.
Sometimes when I'm locked in here, I close my eyes hoping that I will be able to picture my home or listen to the insects or anything, but... all there is is the sound of machines and I hate it.
Whenever we are inside this thing I hate it, I like when we go out during the day except for the part that the soldiers seem to not be learning anything and then at night I get a second chance when Quaritch and I have our lessons, those are the only happy moments that I've been having lately.
"Do we really need to go there?" he aks when we've already walked for like half an hour.
"I need the lake"
"That's what you said but you know, people on earth take a pill, have their... panties for this things and they move on" he says but it is clearly all alien to me. I don't mind whatever he said and I just keep walking, I can hear the water.
"Look" I say and kneel down at the edge of the river, he does too. The fish are glowing and make circles as they move around the water, the light of the plants at the bottom is what allows us to see it.
"How do they shine?" he asks.
"Is in them, just as it is in you" I say and signal to my own face, body, arms... we all have little spots of light on us. He looks down at himself like it's the first time he's seen it and seems fascinated by it.
I let him be as I start getting into the water, it is cold, very cold and the current is not that hard but it will do. I submerge myself and extend my hands to collect some of the mud from the depth.
When I go back to the surface it falls from my hands as I need to go stop Quaritch from getting in.
"What?" he asks.
"Take off your clothes, you can't come in with boots and clothes with god knows what" I explain angrily.
He smirks as he starts undressing and I just roll my eyes and dive again for some mud. When I go back to the surface he's right in front of me and I gasp.
He laughs at me and I throw some of the mud at his face.
"What do we do now?" he asks.
"You, I don't know. But me, I need more mud and to stay here for a while and then we have to collect some leaves"
"What do you do with the mud?"
"Just rub it... it helps with the pain and well the cold water does too."
"I have no fucking idea how you enjoy being this cold."
"If I punch you you'll feel some relief from the water" I say and he laughs.
I let him swim around a little as I rub my aching body and then lay back on the water. He stops swimming and stops beside me.
"What are we looking at?" he asks.
"Nothing in particular... just the sky"
He lays back just like me and I turn my head a little to see where he's looking at, he then turns to me but none of us look away.
"You come from that star" I say signaling the very shady silhouette of his planet.
"The wrong star" he says.
I don't know why but I feel like I should be closer to him... I should comfort him and he lets me get close.
"You know... from all of them, I think you're the only one that's actually listening" I say.
"They do listen, they just don't care" he says and he stands up and I follow.
I'm sad for a moment until I decide to turn his words around.
"Then you do care" I say with a soft smile.
He seems uncomfortable and confused.
"It's not wrong to care or to change..." I say taking his hand. He looks down at our hands intertwining, it's a little strange that he has five fingers but that's how his species is.
I can feel his hand trying to close around mine but in the end, he doesn't do it.
"What else do you need?" he asks letting my hand go.
I wrap my arms around my body, it's suddenly too cold in here.
"The plants" I say and start going towards the edge to get out. I wait for him as he dresses up again and we start walking.
I take maybe too many leaves but, being locked there and god knows for how much longer... I'll need them.
"How long is that supposed to last you?" he asks.
"Days"
"You know... we're in the forest, if you need more we can just walk outside"
"We don't come here everyday" I say in my defense.
"You want to see me everyday?" he asks, he's more confident again.
"More like you're my ticket to come home" I say smirking.
"Meh" he complains and hisses making me laugh.
This time when we go back he lets me walk beside him and even helps me carry some of the leaves, his stare lingers for a little more than usual in me when we go back to my cell and he closes the door.
I find myself enjoying his company more than I expected... and I don't know what to do about it.