should i stay or should i go?--- the clash
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[POV]
At the Greene's Farm, Maggie stared at the flyer held by a small magnet that pinned it to the front of the fridge.
The Rag Dolls: Live at Marco's Pub.
The top of the flyer had a posed photo of the band at their best. Maggie's eyes were locked on herself and her best friend standing next to each other.
"What's on your mind, Maggie?" Her father asked her, leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Just keep wondering where JJ went when she left. If she left."
"I'm sure she did. She probably found her family and is hunkering down just as we are."
Maggie shook her head, "I don't know. She was stubborn as hell."
Their attention was turned to Rick coming down the stairs and standing at the edge of the kitchen. "Rick." She greeted with a smile, "Why don't you sit, and I'll get you something to eat? You'll need the strength if you have to give more blood."
Rick nodded, pulling out a chair from the table. But just as he was about to sit, the flyer on the fridge caught his attention. "This picture." He took it out from the magnet.
"That's Maggie's band she played with in college."
She noticed his intent staring. "We called ourselves the Rag Dolls. It was my best friend- our lead guitarist's favorite song."
"Ragdoll." Rick thought, "Aerosmith?"
"Yeah, that's the one." Maggie grinned, "JJ loved it. Played it a million times."
Rick took in a deep breath, "JJ?"
"Jana Jackson, but everyone called her JJ."
He shook his head, tears pricking at the corner of his eye, scoffing in disbelief, "her name's Jackson Jana not Jana Jackson. She started telling people JJ stood for Jana because Jackson was too boyish."
"How'd you know that?" Maggie raised an eyebrow.
"She's my sister."
♮♮♮
JJ knew that going to Maggie's was her best option. It was secluded, and she knew she was always welcome.
But if there was one thing about JJ, it was that she sucked at driving. She had hit more trashcans than a raccoon looking for food.
She'd been to the Greene family farm many times, so she knew the general direction of where she was going, but past the first three turns, she was lost without a GPS.
JJ resorted to using a paper map, something she would often make fun of her brother for using. She'd always tell him to keep up with the times and to start using modern day technology.
He was never a fan of technology, so he held on to the traditional way of doing things for as long as he could.
Rick taught her everything she needed to know. How to handle herself, how to shoot, how to fix cars and most importantly, how to drive. It wasn't his fault she naturally sucked at driving.
By the time JJ turned 15, she was, by law, considered an orphan. She could either live with her next of kin or be placed in a foster home. Rick and Lori, who were recent newlyweds, decided that they had plenty of room and could easily spare a bedroom.
Even before losing their parents, Rick had always been the one to raise JJ.
The Grimes' kids lost their mother at a young age, leaving them under the supervision of their father. For Rick, it was no problem. He was the son, the trophy child who could do no wrong. For JJ, it wasn't as smooth sailing.
Her father had so desperately wanted another boy, and even went as far as giving her the name Jackson to cope. She was an embarrassment, to her father and herself. With her boyish haircut, she never felt like she was able to fit in.
When Rick met Lori, things changed.
Lori basically helped JJ through her years of... change. She helped her become the girl she always wanted to be.
"Okay, so I take a right on 411 and..." JJ told herself before she flipped the map right-side up, realizing she had been looking at it upside down. "Shit."
She huffed and leaned against the hood, "damn, I really wished I'd paid attention when I went with Maggie."
♮♮♮
[POV]
The group was gathered under a large Oak down by the barn for a small funeral for Otis.
"Blessed be God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Praise be to Him, for the gift of our brother Otis..."
There was a loud sound up by the farmhouse, distracting the group from the makeshift funeral service.
Daryl told them, looking for a chance to escape, "I'll go check it out. Was probably stray dog or somethin'."
"Mr. G? Maggie?" JJ cupped her hands to look through the window, "You got five minutes before I walk in."
"Where do you think you're going, Goldie locks?"
"Goldie Locks, really?" JJ turned around. She didn't recognize the man who had his crossbow steadied on her. "That the best thing you could come up with?"
"Who the hell are you?"
"Could ask you the same thing, Redneck Riviera." JJ sassed back.
"Continue to act like a bitch, and I'll put a bolt right through your skull."
JJ sneered, walking down the steps of the porch, unphased by the tip of the crossbow pointed at her face. "I'm looking for the Greene's. Since..." She looked back at the house, sarcastically, "this is their house."
Daryl didn't move. Didn't waver the crossbow either.
"Are you gonna put the bow down, or are you really that intimidated by a girl?" She tilted her head with a smirk, taunting, "I get it. Talking with girls must still be scary for a guy who was clearly an outcast high school."
"I ain't intimidated by a damn 14th street hooker." He jerked the bow down to his side.
"Why the specific street? You frequent there a lot?"
"It's a saying."
"Right." JJ crossed her arms. "So, where is everyone?"
"Why should I answer you?"
JJ huffed, dropping her arms, "I'm Maggie's friend from school. She told me to come here if anything happened."
Daryl looked her over, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth or not. JJ took it as judging her outfit.
"What?"
He gave her a blank, judging look. "Why're you wearing that?"
"It's called fashion. Clearly you have no sense of it." JJ sassed, "So, are you gonna tell me where they are, or are we just gonna keep insulting each other all day?"
"They're down by the barn." Daryl motioned. JJ went to walk down there, but Daryl stopped her with his bow. "The hell you think you're doin'?"
"Going down there?"
"I don't know who you are."
"Great, you don't listen either, I guess."
"You could be lyin'." He told her, "We can wait right here for 'em."
JJ rolled her eyes, letting go of a frustrated sigh, "Can you at least tell me what're they doing there?"
"Having a funeral."
"For who?"
"Otis."
"What happened?"
"You're asking a lot of questions for a stranger."
"Well, you're giving a lot of vague answers for a stranger."
Daryl shook his head out of annoyance, but still answered her, "He was trying to get a boy medicine."
"What happened?"
"Otis was eaten, the boy was shot."
"Shot? A kid was shot? Who's kid? Is he yours?"
"Nah."
"Then whose is he?"
"Man in our group. Rick. It's his boy."
JJ blinked, "Rick? Rick Grimes?"
Daryl's look of confusion told JJ all she needed to know.
She knew it had to be her brother.
Although there was a slim chance it wasn't and she could earn an arrow to the head, she figured she'd risk it anyway.
JJ darted inside the house and up the stairs.
"Shit. Rick!" Daryl shouted across the yard as he ran after her into the house.
"Oh my God." JJ breathed.
Daryl raised his crossbow like before, "The hell you think you're doing?!"
JJ ignored him, walking over and kneeling next to Carl's bed. "Carl."
It wasn't long before Rick busted into the room, "We heard yelling, everything all right?"
He looked to where Daryl's bow was pointed and JJ looked up from Carl.
She awkwardly stood up, not sure what she should do.
"Hey." JJ uncomfortably greeted.
Without a word, Rick embraced his sister tightly.
It was like all the tension left the room, "Thought you hated me."
"Thought you were dead." He pulled away from the hug to look at her, "What are you doing here? How are you here? And why are you... dressed like-?"
"...a fourteenth street hooker?"
"I was gonna say an MTV groupie, but that works too." Rick shrugged. "It's all good Daryl."
Daryl apprehensively dropped his bow.
"Yeah, sorry you don't get to bolt through my skull."
"Didn't tell me you were his sister." He told her.
JJ sneered, "How was I supposed to know he was here? You made me wait at the steps."
"See you've both made a great first impression." Rick scratched the back of his head. "Daryl this is my sister JJ. She can sometimes be a little-...blunt."
"I'm blunt?" JJ motioned to herself, sarcastically making a jab at Daryl, "Your guard dog, Feral, here was the one to threaten to put a bolt through my skull."
"Daryl." He gritted his teeth, "And it's not too late."
"See? He threatened me again." JJ complained to her brother.
"Why don't we go talk downstairs?" Rick proposed. "Before you wake Carl."
JJ nodded "Well, Daryl, I can tell we are not going to be friends."
"Could've told you that the second you started talking."
♮♮♮
As JJ walked down the stairs, Maggie walked inside.
"JJ!" Maggie hurried to wrap her arms tightly around her friend's neck. "I can't believe you're alive." She pulled away to look at JJ. "What happened to you? Did you stay at the apartment?"
"No, I-" JJ started to lie, not wanting to disclose the motel scene.
Before JJ could finish, Maggie talked over her, "Isn't that the outfit you wore to the last show?"
"Uh," JJ nervously laughed. "You see-... actually-"
The door opened again and Hershel, Lori and Beth walked in.
"JJ, you're here!" Beth hugged her friend, who'd become more like a sister over the years.
JJ mumbled, "Oh, thank God," under her breath, thankful that Beth had interrupted the previous conversation.
"Thought I recognized that car." Hershel widely smiled. "But it's kind of hard to miss with that Strat sitting pretty in the seat."
Maggie laughed, "only you would bring your guitar in the middle of an apocalypse."
JJ's eyes gravitated to Lori. Unlike how Rick diffused the tension immediately, JJ and Lori's hug was awkward as ever.
"Hi, JJ." Lori grinned, walking over and hugging her. "I'm so glad you're okay."
JJ reluctantly hugged her back.
"Holy shit, it really is you." She recognized that voice from anywhere. "JJ Grimes. I'll be damned."
She greeted softly with a fake smile.
"Shane."
[july 4, 2005]
July 4th was always such a fun holiday with the Grimes'. They would have a ton of people over for a pool party with homemade bar-b-que, fireworks, live music provided by the Grimes' themselves, and JJ and Rick's ultimate volleyball competition they'd had every year since they were kids.
"Hey, Rick, are you gonna take me to my driver's test next week?" JJ asked her brother as they cooled off inside with Shane.
"Only if they fail you." He joked before asking Shane, "You remember when we were 16, man?"
Shane took a sip of his beer, "I'm surprised we're alive with have the shit we did."
"Got that right."
"Hey, Rick, I could use some help out here." Lori said from the grill outside.
Once he was walking out back, JJ grabbed his beer, which had maybe two sips left, and called out, "I'm drinking the rest of this."
"Just don't get drunk." He joked, knowing it only had a little left in it.
JJ had a massive girl crush on Shane, and he knew it. Everyone thought it was funny when she'd get all flustered around her brother's best friend.
"You're lucky you weren't as bad as Rick and I were at your age."
"What do you mean?"
Shane snickered, "Man, we were always getting into some sort of trouble. Skipping class, sneaking out, hell, doing every girl that'd look our way."
JJ quickly felt uncomfortable, "oh, yeah, definitely not like that." She resulted in taking a sip of her water.
"I'm sure you've done it with lots of guys already."
She innocently shook her head, "uh, no, I haven't."
"Really? Shit, you're hot enough to where you can, you know?"
"I'm kind of awkward around guys."
"Well, I could help you not be." He placed a hand on her upper thigh.
Her 15-year-old self was confused. He was much older than her. She was 15. He was her crush. She was 15. She found him very attractive. She was 15. He was in the police academy.
She was 15.
♮♮♮
That's when JJ changed.
She began skipping her classes, sneaking out, always wearing provocative outfits, drinking, even smoking weed here and there.
JJ often found herself lying when it came to her dating life. She never found herself wanting to go further than making out with a guy after Shane. But she'd never let Maggie, or any of her other friends know. So, she'd raise her body type to make her seem like she wasn't a prude.
Most college guys were douches, so it was easy to swear off sex.
She swore to herself she'd never let a guy do to her what Shane did, and until Randall, she hadn't.
JJ thought of all those moments she couldn't do anything, and even if she did, no one would believe her. She was the delinquent teen, and he was in the academy, preparing to protect the city against people like him.
She swore that if she ever got the chance, she'd make him pay for those times. The spontaneous rides home from school, the Friday night family dinner bathroom visits...the July 4 incidents.
JJ still felt that detest, that rage that made her want to do the unthinkable.
And if given the chance, JJ would kill him.
"Well, shit."
a/n: we are not shane stans here🤚 (or andrea but that's a totally different subject) anyway hope u enjoyed chapter 2:))
until next time,
a & n<3