****************
LIVE FROM SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA
Pyro blasts through the arena, and thousands of fans in attendance roar, because Emission is back, back again!
Geoff: WHAT'S GOING ON?! I'm Geoff, and sitting to my right is my brother Jack!
Jack: We've got a lot going on tonight! Three men will walk in, and only one will come out with a TV title shot! Corvo, Coach, Flash, later tonight.
Geoff: We've also got two women in the chamber, going at it. The Black Widow herself takes on Agent Carter!
Jack: Back on chambers, we're going to fill the last spot in the men's! The merc with a mouth: Deadpool, the monstrous Gunslinger: Randy Carter, one on one!
Geoff: BEFORE ALL THAT, WE'VE GOT OUR GLOBAL CHAMP!
The crowd pops as SpongeBob walks out with a smile. That Global Championship is around his waist.
SpongeBob: I've missed you Gary! Let's go to work!
He sprints down, slapping as many hands as he can, before hopping up top and raising the belt!
Geoff: You can just tell how happy Sponge is to represent the division. All those years teaming with Patrick, and it's his time to shine!
Jack: I don't think many imagined that young, chipper sponge back in his Krusty Krab days ever doing anything like THIS. It shows how anything can happen if you put your mind to something.
Geoff: That was really motivational. I wish we chased our dreams as hard as this Sponge did.
Sponge gets a mic.
SpongeBob: How we feeling, San Fran?!
Loud cheers reply back. There's nothing like crowd hype to get the show started.
SpongeBob: Just because I was gone one week didn't mean I'd miss the whole month. I didn't go through a whole tournament, just to be the absentee champion. That's LAME, how are you supposed to be happy with yourself, when you don't even defend your prize? Don't you feel better by actually clutching it up?
The crowd cheers, and some "oooohs" get thrown in becaude Kevin Riley, the TV Champion, walks out with his title on his shoulder.
Geoff: Woah woah woah, what does HE want??
Jack: We don't see champions cross over a lot, but Kevin might he taking interesting in this Sponge.
Geoff: You aren't saying..
Kevin's got a mic in hand, but continues his entrance like business as usual. When he reaches the ring, he hops up top and raises the TV title with one hand!
Jack: The Rock would be proud.
Kevin hops down, and Sponge smirks.
SpongeBob: Whatcha doin?
Kevin: Good to know none of us want to be those part-timers who phone it in.
SpongeBob: I don't think we can mention him on TV.
Kevin: I really don't care.
That's when his eyes fall onto Sponge's belt.
Kevin: While Slade's off doing his own thing, we're the ones dealing with the most. I'm getting challengers left and right. You just got out of a four way.
SpongeBob: Is my title attractive to you?
Kevin: Don't get it twisted, I love my title! Another one would look good on me.
Kevin looks him in the eyes.
Kevin: I've always wanted to hold two.
The crowd "OOOOHS," and Geoff is blindsided.
Geoff: He wants a UNIFICATION?! What the hell?!
Jack: People always want more, Geoff, and I don't think Kevin Riley's complacent anymore.
The Sponge gazes at Kev's TV title.
SpongeBob: If you wanna mess around, I'll beat you to it. I'm not Tommy Miles. I'm not Wade Fenwick—-
That crowd cheers again, about worn out and Geoff is losing it.
Geoff: HE'S coming out?!
Jack: Adrian never got his rematch for the TV title. Remember Geoff, Wade concussed him out of action.
Adrian's got a mic too, and he's moving down that ramp.
Geoff: Is HE going to go for both??
Jack: Don't know. Adrian's been wanting smoke ever since he came back. He wanted to go for Crim's throat. He fed off East India last episode. This COULD be an opportunity for him to get that title back.
Adrian raises the mic to his mouth.
Adrian: No no no no no, no way pal, nuh uh!
Kevin; You gonna stop me?
Adrian: You're not merging ANYTHING until you go through me!
The Adrian fans cheer for that one.
Adrian: I didn't buss my ass for that title, just to watch it get brushed aside for the shiny toy!
SpongeBob: My titles not a toy bud, it's my lifeline on this show! It's gotten people like Snake, Sparrow, even that musty Doctor great paydays. YOU lost and gave the biggest egomaniac ever an ego boost!
Adrian: It's not my fault that he's an asshole.
SpongeBob: It's your fault he got the title in the first place.
Adrian winces. He doesn't have a comeback for that because the Sponge is right. His failure led to Wade's success in the IWA.
Kevin: I'm not saying it was BAD to lose to Wade.
Adrian: That's because he and Chet fumbled the title, and here you are now, champion. You didn't even beat Wade to get the belt.
Kevin: I beat him to keep it.
Adrian: Well if you think you're the best T'V Champion: Get through me. I NEED number two, something to remind these people about my worth!
???: Not today, mister Elliott.
The crowd booes, as Beckett, Norrington, and Groves are at separate areas of the barricade.
Beckett: The East India Trading Company have different plans for you. Matter a fact, all three of you.
The trip gets crumpets thrown at them. Beckett casually walks through it, Norrington swats a couple away, and Groves catches one and bites in.
Norrington: Adrian, you got one over the Company last episode, but I say it's time we put you in your place. You had your time, and like a White Ranger, Fenwick always pulled ahead.
That jab gets booing from the Adrian fans.
Norrington: I'm not wrong to say you've fallen off. So you won't be claiming a title anytime soon.
The three Company reps step over the barricade, now visible to all.
Beckett: Kevin. We would love to strip that title away, but there's not much money to make from someone who came from a dead company.
Geoff: That's just LOW! Leave Status alone!
Beckett: That just leaves you, Sponge.
SpongeBob: I'll beat you again, Becky.
Beckett: BECKETT. After the Commodore's done with you, you'll be calling me LORD Beckett.
That Sponge bursts into laughter.
SpongeBob: Are you into power fantasies?
Groves tackles Adrian, as Norrington and Beckett run in! It's three on three!
Beckett goes low on Kevin immediately, while Norrington corners SpongeBob and puts the boots to him.
Jack: East India getting the jump on our champions!
The champions fight back, throwing lefts and rights at two-thirds of the company. Adrian rolls Groves in the ring, and starts laying into him.
Kevin sends Beckett over the top! Sponge clotheslined Norrington over! The three turn to the one person left.
Adrian sends Groves over to Kevin...Eye Contact connects! Before any more damage can be done, Norrington pulls Groves out, and helps him up with Beckett.
Beckett: We'll find another way...
While East India retreats up the ramp, Jeff pops up on the tron!
Jeff: We're going to get some order around here. I love the drama, but we don't need all of you hurt before No Way Out. So, here's what's going down. Adrian Elliott versus James Norrington. Adrian, if YOU win..you get a TV title shot at a later date. Norrington, if YOU win..you'll get a shot at SpongeBob's Global Championship.
The crowd cheers, approving this method.
Jeff: All that..NEXT episode, because we've got a lot to do tonight. Good luck.
The tron goes back to normal, and Geoff is ready!
Geoff: Give me ALL of that!! So much stakes next episode Jack!
Jack: One man will get what they want, while the other will have to wait.
***************
Footage is played in slow-mo, of Sparrow using his hair as a weapon against Agent Stone. As the camera zooms out, a man with a familiar moustache is watching.
Robotnik: They have the audacity to call you a captain. Captains are inspirational. Captains know how to LEAD. There's an "A" in there Sparrow, I'm not sure if your kind knows the alphabet.
He spins around in that big chair, to face the camera.
Robotnik: You aren't cunning for that trick you pulled. You gave away one of your biggest strengths. Naturally, i'm going to take it out of the picture, and step alllll over it!
The Doctor brushes his hand through that black hair.
Robotnik: Your hair. My dignity. Only one will come out alive you rapscallion! I'll be waiting..
The camera cuts to black.
***************
1st Match: Deadpool vs. Randy Carter (#1 Contenders Chamber Qualifying Match)
Jack and Geoff welcome us back on commentary.
Jack: It doesn't matter if it's the Global champion, or the TV champion, they need to be ready for their new challengers. Adrian and Norrington will do whatever it takes to get gold.
Geoff: All this talk about titles, and you're forgetting the Worldwide. In a few moments, Deadpool and Randy Carter will fight for the last spot in that chamber. Whoever wins gets a MUCH needed boost to that resume!
The sparkles go off onstage, as Deadpool literally rolls into the scene!
Jack: Now here's a man who's..fallen hard. He started out fighting for the IWA Championship, came up short in the Fatal 4 Way, and has struggled since. Looking back we thought he'd get a break, he BEAT Rey Mysterio for the Cash In Case, but The Joker came in and took his place.
Geoff: I heard that lunatic's STILL torturing Mysterio. They've got a match at Aurulent's next show, inside the Hell In A Cell. But let's be real: TWO chambers should be more than enough!
Jack: You never miss a chance to shill our show.
Geoff: It's still competition, Jack.
Deadpool high fives fans as he walks down the ramp. He comes to a stop when he sees a row of fans in Deadpool masks.
Deadpool: You people change your masks every time.
Fan #2: What do you mean by "you people"?
Deadpool: Neeevermind.
The antihero just keeps moving forward. Controversy doesn't always equal cash. It equals lawsuits.
Geoff: Deadpool was actually in our first chamber with Randy Carter. Carter eliminated D.P McSqueezy first, and I bet that eats at him. It was all fun and games until Locked Away ended. Ever since then he's just been drifting.
Jack: D..P McSqueezy?
Geoff: He said it himself.
DP hops over the ropes and lands cross legged, ready to bring the pain to the giant.
The booing begins, and it's to no surprise. The IWA fans have always booed him.
Randy Carter walks out, adjusting his wrist tape. There's no emotion behind those eyes as the world tries tearing him down. Carter doesn't operate off what other people think. If he did, he wouldn't have jumped Thor in the first place.
Jack: He's big, burly, and ready to bitch someone out.
Geoff: That's Randy for ya.
Randy just stares at DP as he walks down.
Randy: Ooooh yeah, you're about to get it son!
Deadpool: Are you fifty?
Randy: You're gonna FEEL fifty after I'm done scraping you across the mat.
Randy uses the steps to get up, and enters the ring. DP is at his corner, and Randy's at his. Not the first time they'll fight, and it surely won't be the last.
DDD!!
Randy stands at the center, while D.P circles his opponent.
Geoff: You know Jack, if Randy goes on to win..he's a PAIN to take out. It took a good FIVE finishers to put him down the last time.
Jack: Randy's tougher now. He dished out one of the worst beatings I saw. We still haven't heard from Ant-Man in months!
DP jumps on his back for a sleeper hold! He has it in for a few seconds, but Randy ducks, causing DP to plant backfirst! One massive legdrop immediately kills his momentum!
Geoff: For such a big guy, he's packing speed!
Jack: Randy can hit spears, speed is not new to him.
After using that beefy leg as a weapon, Randy tosses DP to the other side of the ring!!
Jack: The LENGTH of that throw!
The big man crushes him at the corner, rebounds off the ropes, big boot! DP gets to the ropes, Randy oncoming..DP's kick to the gut frees some space, but Randy clotheslines him over the top like nothing happened!
Geoff: Simple kicks don't really do anything to him.
Randy heads out, and lifts DP like he's trying to burp a baby.
Randy: You think you're going big-time? You ain't going small-time!
He drives him into the post!
Geoff: Awww the pain he must be in..
Randy turns around, and drives him into the other post!
Jack: He's sending him into ANYTHING he can. This new Randy Carter wants to break his opponents..
Randy's still carrying DP, but switches it up. DP's on Randy's shoulders like an F5, and does a Military Press. He effortlessly carries DP to the steel part of that ramp..and drops him right on it!
Jack: We might as well start making a dead pool now.
Geoff: That was corny, but I'm not sure either man cares. DP's getting harassed by this giant!
Randy punts DP's gut, almost sending him on the apron!
Deadpool: Ah..ah..what the hell?
Randy: Pipe your ass down!
Randy clocks him with a right, and rolls him inside,
Jack: This is the most devastating offense I've ever seen in a fair, clean match. Randy's really towing the line.
The giant sets a foot on him, for the cover.
1!
2!
DP gets a shoulder up.
Geoff: Me personally, I would just stay down. If one kick sends you in the air—
Jack: You told me you're not a quitter.
Geoff: When?
Randy doesn't care when, he's setting DP in a Tree of Woe. The mutants dangling upside down, helpless as Randy drives knees into his body like it's the UFC! He raises DP up, and has him in a Torture Rack position..
..he drops him with an Alphamare Waterslide?!
Geoff: Haven't seen that move in YEARS!
Jack: This new Randy seems more adaptable. He's not going to move like a small star, but he can pull out a great slam if he needs to.
Randy hooks DP's legs.
1!
2!
DP grabs at the rope!
Geoff: Use those ropes when you got 'em!
The giant drags DP away, and applies a Sleeper Hold! DP flails his arms around, but doesn't seem to know that squirming can make it worse.
Jack: Randy's ready to just lock it in. Deadpool's taken so much punishment up to here. A sleeper hold is mercy at this point.
Geoff: DP always regenerates and comes back in the end. He just needs one lucky shot, one good move, and he can stun this force of nature!
The camera gets a good view of the hold.
Randy: The Joker's a freakshow, but that freakshow's got a point. Im supposed to be scared of a guy that dresses like THIS? A guy so unserious a kid could beat him?
He starts swinging DP around in the hold, like he's a ragdoll!
Randy: Make-a-Wish is going night night—
STUNNER FROM DEADPOOL!
Geoff: EAT THOSE WORDS CARTER!
That giant stumbles back, while DP regains his head. He finds himself at the corner. Randy wants blood and charges him, but the antihero sidesteps. Randy hits the post shoulder-first!
Jack: Fatal mistake from Randy, and if you're Deadpool: You make it even worse.
Randy tries to get out of there, but DP shoves him right back! His HEAD hits the post, and his left hand covers it!
Geoff: Those mammoth hands can't hide your wounds Randy!!
Randy's disoriented for a moment, able to get out but his backs literally against the corner. 360 splash from DP! He decides one signature isn't enough, and lands another splash! Randy drops to his knees, so DP heads up top.
Legdrop from the top!
Jack: I bet Wade's feeling great after eating Randy's leg earlier.
Geoff: Fenwick's not in the-OOOOH Wilson.
DP struggles to roll Randy over, and by the time he does he's close to the ropes.
1!
2–
Randy kicks out!
Jack: Barely a two..
DP has Randy in his sights. Ready to do him in with that two superkick combo. Lands one on the knee, and the other on the face!
Geoff: Hit him with the best in his arsenal!
DP literally jumps on him for the cover.
1!
Two—
Randy kicks out again!
Jack: Barely a two AGAIN.
Geoff: Randy used to eat finishers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so imagine how many he can eat now!
DP has one last option. He looks for Trouble In Pool-adise. The last time it didn't work out, this time...
Randy catches him! He scoops him up, looking for a Lawn Dart, but DP slips out from behind! He comes at Randy..caught with a Pop-Up Powerbomb!
Jack: He ran right into that one!
Randy lifts him up...
Geoff: Deadpool got more offense in that some, but it's gotta be done.
The Shellshock connects!! Randy hooks his legs.
1!
2!
3!
DDD!!
Randy throws DP out of the ring!
Geoff: Shit sportsman.
He forces the ref to raise his hand.
Jack: This tells us one thing: Randy Carter hasn't come back to play around. It doesn't matter who you are, man, woman, probably even child, he will step on you to get what he wants.
Geoff: After the spamming he got at the last chamber, maybe Carter can make something good out of this. The five other guys better watch out though.
Jack: Speaking of chambers, don't change the channel. Agent Carter and Natasha Romanoff are about to go one on one, and see who gets momentum heading into No Way Out. Stay with us.
**************
Backstage
Marcus: King here, and welcome my guest at this time: Tianna.
Tianna steps into frame.
Marcus: T, you jumped Casey last time we were here. The hell's up with that?
Tianna: She beats the most hopeless team on the roster, and just gets praise for it. I made her look like a joke, a little pushover last time, and I'll do it over and over ag—
Casey spears her through the curtain, and hammers away! She grabs a ball of her red hair!
Casey: Pushover huh?!
Boston Rob does a brisk walk in, and has to YANK Casey off her!
Casey: Say it to my face bitch!
Marcus is just staring at the chaos.
Marcus: ..Keep this wild stuff off my show. Back to y'all at the booth.
**************
2nd Match: Natasha Romanoff vs. Agent Carter
The mini tron follows Carter like she's James Bond, and has the same affect when she aims a finger gun at the cam and fires!
BANG!
Carter walks down the ramp, while commentary speaks on her.
Jack: Carter has what it takes to win a match. She can get dirty, she can use her brain.
Geoff: Pretty sure she's had some crazy missions. That should help her keep a poker face.
While Carter walks down the ramp, a promo plays at the bottom right.
Agent Carter: It takes one shot to kill a black widow. Observe.
After that short promo, Carter heads through the ropes. She's ready for one of her tougher opponents.
The crowd cheers, as Natasha walks onstage, a powerful one. She glances at both sides of the crowd and keeps going.
Jack: Natasha's another name that came close in that battle Royale. That was won by Tianna, who came up short against Batgirl at Vengeance.
Geoff: She's not lookin' to blow it her. Her training has helped her get to this moment.
Jack: Not sure she really wants to remember that.
Geoff: Oh. Well it still gave her a lot of skills she can use to win not just tonight, but in that hellish chamber.
While Natasha heads down the ramp, a promo plays on the bottom left.
Natasha: Smart. Cunning. Strong. I'd call Agent Carter all of that, but she doesn't know what she's in for. Only one of us can walk out as the strongest woman, and she's going to feel my bite.
When the promo ends, she's in the ring, staring down Carter. They've been teasing it for weeks, and it's time for a payoff.
The ref calls for that bell.
DDD!!
The women meet at the middle.
Carter throws a forearm!
Natasha throws one back!
Carter with another!
Natasha with another!
Carter kicks her gut, looks to send Natasha at the ropes, black widow reverses and sends her their instead. Natasha slides under, and goes for a hip toss..but Carter reverses into one of her own! Carter comes at Natasha, and gets two arm drags!
Jack: Carter and Romanoff going counter for counter!
Natasha comes at Carter at the corner, Carter gets a boot up. Turns Nat around..Russian Legsweep on the corner!
Jack: If the objective of the match is breaking her neck: she's winning.
Carter goes to take advantage, but drop-toe hold plants the agent on the middle buckle, face-first. Natasha capitalizes with a meteora to the back of her head! She pulls her off for the cover.
1!
2!
Carter gets a shoulder up.
Jack: Natasha is as fast as they come. Just like THAT, she takes advantage.
Natasha forces Carter on her ass, and knees it like it's a strong style match! The quickness and aggression of it causes Carter to let a yelp out, but she's not done. She drives sharp elbows on the left shoulder, getting a good twelve in..she moves to the right and does the same.
Jack: Natasha's not going to target on limb. She'll target ALL of them and see which ones the most tender.
Geoff: Brutal, but bad limbs can win you a match.
She drives an elbow on Carter's skull, runs the ropes..sliding forearm smash! She covers her again.
1!
2!
Carter kicks out. Natasha gets Carter to her feet, and sends her at the corner! She brings a foot up and pushes her face out, looking to extend that neck.
Geoff: This is grimey..but Natasha can leave her emotions at the door.
She whips her to the other end, but Carter reverses and sends her to the corner! Natasha rebounds, jumps on her, and a Hurricanrana sends her down!
Jack: There's that athleticism.
Natasha doesn't cover her, but instead gets on the ground and pound. She hammers away on Carter, looking to soften her up for what's coming later. She pulls Carter onto her knees, and drives a knee in her that could break a tooth!
POP!
Geoff: OH NO!
Jack: She might have the stiffest offense I've seen.
Natasha pulls a dazed Carter into a Backdrop Suplex! She covers her again!
1!
2!
Carter kicks out, and Natasha moves onto Plan D.
Geoff: Carter won't stop kicking out, and you've gotta wonder Jack: What's she pulling out next?
Natasha locks Carter in the Head Scissors, and those legs are strong enough to keep Carter locked down for a while. Anytime Carter squirms, Natasha tightens her legs.
Jack: Submissions, Geoff..but hers could be more impactful than most.
The crowd starts to clap for Carter, and she tries spinning over..
It fails.
She tries it again..she gets a little more momentum, but can't get anything going yet.
Geoff: You're so close Carter! Just a little more!
Carter spins Natasha onto her stomach, and shoves herself out! A Bulldog gets her some breathing room!
Geoff: She didn't go for a superkick, Cruiserweight shit, none of that. She wanted to force her opponent down, and secure this free time.
Jack: Ok, Regal.
Geoff: She picked the right move at the right time, there's no "Regal" about it.
Carter starts to get to her feet, but Natasha kips up! She comes at her with a clothesline, Carter ducks..lariat to the back of her head!
Geoff: THE FORCE!
While Natasha regains herself, Carter cuts her off with a series of punches. Natasha does a Legsweep to cut her off, goes for a knee drop, but Carter rolls aside! She scoops Nat up, Snake Eyes at the corner! Carter runs the ropes, and one dropkick sends Natasha under the ropes!
Geoff: THAT was a good one, but Carter needs to get her back in to win.
Nat's on the apron, Carter comes over..gets an elbow. She comes over again and gets a kick! Carter's back, Natasha leaps over..DDT!
Geoff: Gargano is blushing!
Natasha goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Carter gets a hand on the rope.
Jack: She saw a rope, she used it.
Geoff: If I got planted like that I'd be jumping for one.
Natasha waits for that agent to rise, so she can cut her down again. Carter's up, Natasha goes for a heel kick....
.
.
Carter catches it! She flips Natasha over, black widow lands on her feet. Nat looks for a DDT, but Carter pops her up..an a knee cuts her down!
Geoff: Nat's dead. She's out.
Carter goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Natasha kicks out!
Jack: Not gonna do it! If it were anyone else, it could have.
Carter takes a step back, and points a "gun" at the black widow.
Geoff: Peggy ready to wrap it up. Could you imagine how confident she'd feel winning tonight, THEN at the Chamber? I'd feel like the best in the world.
Jack: Because you're an asshole.
Carter comes running, but Natasha leaps over her! Carter turns around into a
1!
2!
Carter kicks out!
Jack: These women are willing to do the job for anyone but themselves!
Geoff: Duh, because they want to win.
Jack: YOU wrestle then.
Natasha yanks Carter into an armbar! The agent goes to grab it but Romanoff's too quick to pull! Carter extends any limb she can, but she's not a stretch toy.
Jack: If Natasha wins this by submission, that sends a message to any woman in that chamber. She. WILL. Devastate you.
Geoff: Don't count Carter out, she broke out of one hold.
Carter spins around and drives elbows onto Nat's nose. The Black Widow punches back, but Carter persists, starting to lift her off the ground!
Geoff: I told ya Jack!
She slams her down for the cover!
1!
2!
Natasha kicks out!
Jack: The Black Widow's reeling!
Carter lifts Natasha on her shoulders, but the black widow slips behind her and rolls her up!
1!
2!
Carter kicks out, but gets clapped by a superkick! She locks Carter in a Guillotine, and the agent's going to have a harder time breaking out of this.
Natasha forces herself onto the mat, making it even harder for her to break out. Carter throws whatever she can at the black widow, but nothing can get her to release it.
Jack: Carter's fighting like hell to stay in it, but Romanoff might have her...
Peggy fights to get on her knees, lifting Romanoff's weight. The crowd starts to clap for her, ready to see Carter break out again..but unlike the last time, she can't hold and collapses.
Geoff: It's done.
The ref raises Carter's arm...and it hits the mat.
A second time...same result.
She doesn't move on the third time, and the ref calls for the bell.
DDD!!
Natasha let's the hold go.
Geoff: Carter didn't wanna say die, even if her body shut down. Romanoff won clean as a whistle, but agent Carter gets credit from me.
Jack: Romanoff made someone pass out in her singles debut. If she can do that, she's capable of anything.
Natasha brushes herself off, and her hand gets raised.
Jack: These women are at eachother's throats. Casey jumped Tianna, laid her out, and now Romanoff choked someone out. Batgirl better be watching, because her time at the top will run out soon.
**************
Locker Room
The door swings open, and Randy Carter hits the scene. He's got a towel around his neck, bottle in his hand, but more importantly: another shot at glory.
He can't get any peace because sitting on a chair, is Wade Fenwick, slowly clapping at his achievement.
Wade: Nice. Job. Even with a shithead like Probst running the show, you excel with flying colors.
Randy tosses his bottle to the side.
Randy: Get your head out of your ass. You weren't a fighting champion, boohoo.
Wade glares.
Wade: I was trying to be nice of you. You know we could spend less time bickering, and more time crushing people like Ice Ice Baby, or the Red Hood. I want nothing to do with Red Hood, you hate Red Hoo—
Randy: Don't care for him.
Wade: You don't care for the Red Hood..but people like him, and Sub-Zero, are still going to be problems, no matter how hard they choke. They are the heroes, when you put people like them in a chamber they go NUTS. So I'm thinking..we have ourselves a little reunion.
They hear a burp..and Kano walks into frame.
Kano: We don't have all week. We teaming or not?
Wade: Let's be real: THEY CAN'T CO-EXIST. Let's just get the jump and kill each other after. Deal?
Wade holds his fist at the center, while Kano and Randy just stare at him.
Randy: You're a bum.
That gets Kano to scoff.
Kano: How many chances have ya lost?
Randy: How many teeth are you about to lose?
Randy to Kano, but Wade slips into the middle.
Wade: Woah Woah Woah, we aren't doing this! We can beat each other after the tag, I don't care, but can we weaken the competition first?? Randy, we are mere peasants compared to you. Kano, you want Loki battered. JUST. HOLD. OFF.
After a few tense seconds, Randy let's go.
Randy: You're going through a pod.
Kano: Sure mate.
Randy walks off, and Wade turns to Kano.
Kano: We're just "peasants" huh?
Wade: *whispers* We have to keep that monster at bay...do you want him targeting US?
Kano: You aren't kissing his ass, you're eating it. He'll come for our asses anyway. Can't wrap everyone around that tiny finger..
Kano walks off, leaving Wade alone. The star huffs.
Wade: This roster gets on my last nerve..
**************
3rd Match: Winner earns a TV title shot: Coach Wade vs. The Flash vs. Corvo Attano
Jack and Geoff welcome us back.
Jack: We could be looking at a six-man tag next week. Geoff..nobody in that changer actually likes each other.
Geoff: Wade's trying to be the master strategist, but Kano's too much of an asshole, and Randy's too independent.
Jack: The um.."good" team isn't exactly filled with heroes, but they may have the jump on THEM this time.
A flash of yellow lightning pops onstage, and The Flash walks out of the little smoke.
Jack: Moving on, The Flash is back for another crack in the ring. Last we saw him, he lost to Tommy Miles. He hasn't had the best time since Zoom turned on him.
Geoff: He can change ALL of that tonight. It takes one good win to get somewhere.
While Barry walks down the ramp, a promo plays.
The Flash: You're about to see the fastest rise alive. Corvo's dishonored, Coach is disrespected, and tonight, Barry Allen is da' next challenge for that title. Enjoy the Resurgence of Riley while it lasts, because it's my turn to get out of this hole.
He's in the ring, and waits for the first of two obstacles.
Jack: Strong words from him. Let's see if they can be backed up.
Corvo walks out next. He takes his time, gazing at the scenery around him.
Jack: Corvo may be one of the more underrated players on Emission. His match with Robotnik got noticeable praise.
Geoff: It'll take more than workrate to win this one, Jack. The Flash has speed, and Coach has...Coach? He's not the weakest link.
While he heads down the ramp, another promo plays.
Corvo: Barry Allen. A chaser without a destination. It's unfortunate you haven't been able to break out, but I have to prioritize MY breakout. Then there's Coach. Delusion at its finest. You aren't a slayer to me.
Corvo goes through the ropes, and the speedster comments on his whole appearance.
The Flash: Pretty mysterious.
Corvo: ...
The Flash: Shoulda known you aren't a talker.
Booing starts to rise, Coach walks in backwords, showing off his jacket labeled "Dragonslayer."
Geoff: I wonder if he slays dragons.
Jack: He slays my brain everytime he shows up. Odds are you've never met someone as full of it as Coach.
Geoff: I do. I'm lookin' at him right now.
Jack: -_-
Geoff: Jeez..
As Coach walks down the ramp, he speaks at the camera.
Coach: I'm a renaissance man, been everywhere, done everything I can do. Those two would tremnle when they find out what I've done in the Congo. TREMBLE. They don't know what they are in for.
Coach climbs onto the apron and points at that word on his jacket AGAIN.
Coach: Do you see that says "Dragonslayer"?
Geoff: No Coach, I'm BLIND!
Jack: See what we mean?
Coach heads to the top and spreads his arms. He only gets booes, and just scoffs at the audience.
Coach: The more you cut me down, the higher I'll go!
He hops down, and spots Flash and Corvo at their corners.
Coach: It's going to get heated in here.
The Flash: You done talking about yourself?
Corvo: Don't believe he is.
Coach: You won't be laughing when I'm done.
Geoff snickers.
Jack: He's talking a big game, Geoff..
Geoff: This is like a jester trying to intimidate the king.
Jack: Coach doesn't think he's a jester.
Geoff: Because he has no self awareness Jack!!
Jack snickers at his antagonizing.
DDD!!
Jack: We can talk about him later, but this match is on.
The three get away from their corners, and size each other up. Flash and Corvo turn to Coach, with a smile.
Coach: Who are we...getting?
His smile disappears, and Flash hits him with a cutter! He goes for the cover.
1!
Corvo yanks the speedster off!
Jack: Flash looking for a quick one, couldn't get it.
Flash uppercuts Corvo, Corvo chops him back.
Flash with another uppercut!
Corvo with another chop!
Flash knees Corvo's gut, sends him at the ropes. Corvo ducks a lariat, rebounds, but eats a dropkick anyway! Corvo's up, eats a second one! He rolls onto the apron, and the Flash jumps on the chance for more damage.
Jack: Barry having a great start, and he can seal it NOW.
Flash goes for that rope DDT, that vintage Orton, but Corvo pushes himself through. Northern Lights on the Flash! He rolls through again..plants him with another!
A bridge for the cover!
1!
2!
Flash kicks out!
Jack: Corvo able to slip out, and HE could seal it early.
Geoff: These two haven't had the shine, or even a world title match like that Coach has! If they have to put on a show to prove themselves...so be it.
Corvo looks for a German on Flash, but Flash lands on his feet! He looks for his finisher again, but Corvo shoves him at the ropes. Saito Suplex connects!
Coach comes at Corvo, but gets popped up and powerslammed!
Geoff: God I love the Pop-Up Powerslam.
Jack: Corvo will to if he can get the three!
Corvo covers Coach.
1!
2!
Flash breaks it up!
Corvo still gets up before the speedster, and shoves him to the corner..
SMACK!
One chop!
SMACK!
Two chops!
Geoff: Attano's LETTING HIM HAVE IT.
SMACK!
A third one makes the Flash fly! Coach spins Corvo around, but he gets sent at Flash! With his opponents at the same corner, Corvo gives them a running boot to knock the tastes out!
Geoff: A double Helluva kick?!
Corvo pulls Flash in for a DDT, and Coach in for Neckbreaker..Coach frees himself but Flash can't! The speedster plants facefirst. Before Corvo can react, Coach pops him with a mean lariat! He literally flips in the air!
Jack: Coach packing serious aggression in that lariat!
Geoff: He better not monologue too much or else he can lose control like THAT. *snap* You're babysitting two people, take your sights off one and you're in a world of trouble.
Coach sets corvo at the bottom rope, and delivers a few forearms. He uses the ropes to leap up..and brings his boots onto Corvo! His neck snaps back, and Coach slides him in for the cover.
1!
2!
Flash shoves Coach off!
Geoff: Thank god.
Jack: I think you mean thank Coach.
Geoff: SHUT UP.
That speedster lands an uppercut on the egotist, but Coach lands one that sends him right back down. He goes for that Razors Edge ALREADY, but Barry slides out, he comes at Coach but gets a Back Body Drop for his troubles.
Coach: Two for the price of one!
BOOOO!!
Coach: You know what, that's fine.
Corvo's on the apron, so Coach follows him there. The slayer back suplexes him, and Corvo's back gets closer to shattering at the impact.
Geoff: Someone's having a meltdown.
Jack: Coach, and Corvo's spine.
Coach slides back in the ring, and boots Flash in the head. He scoops him up, Snake Eyes on the corner. He picks the speedster up and sets him up top. Coach flexes a bicep and steps up there with him.
Jack: To the heavens...
Coach looks for a superplex..
.
.
HE LANDS IT!!
Jack: He got it! We could actually see Coach earn a title shot!
Flash's leg is hooked...
1!
2!
The Flash kicks out again!
Geoff: Keep kicking out!
Coach gets his arms into an "X," waiting for the Flash to get up.
Geoff: Here it comes, Jack.
He goes for it..but Flash ducks! Jumping neckbreaker!
Jack: The Flash finally got the separation he needed!
Geoff: Corvo's still lurking Jack. He's not out of the woods yet!
Flash uses what power he has in those arms to get to a knee. Corvo rolls back in, and gets a clothesline for his trouble! Coach is up, Flash hits him with one too!
Corvo takes another shot, but Flash slides under him, looks like he's going for a back Suplex..but drops him on his knee!
Geoff: That's a new back breaker if I've seen one!
Coach comes for him...scoop slammed! Corvo comes at him..scoop slammed ONTO Coach!
Jack: The Flash is stacking bodies!
He slides Corvo and Coach onto the middle rope, and plants them both with that DDT!
Geoff: He's on a ROLL Jack! Can he catch the break he's been wanting?!
Corvo's up first, Flash looks for it..but Corvo moves out of the way! He spots Coach on the ground, and looks at Flash..
Jack: What's going on in that head of his??
Corvo targets Flash, sets up for the Dunwall Driver, and nails it ONTO Coach!
Corvo covers Flash!
1!
2!
Flash kicks out!
Corvo covers Coach!
1!
2!
Coach gets a shoulder up!
Geoff: Corvo almost won TWICE! Just one more shot and he'll take it all! He can make Robotnik eat his heart out!
Corvo sets Coach up for a Go-Home Driver..but Coach reverses into a roll up!
1!
2!
Corvo kicks out..FLASH-KO!!
Geoff: Barry just capped him outta nowhere!!
Jack: He needs to cover him NOW!
Coach kicks Flash in the balls!
Geoff: And Coach goes low..
Jack: There's no rules to break so, unfortunately for our ears, he can get away with it.
Geoff: GOD. DAMNIT.
Coach goes for the Slayer's Edge on Flash..it connects.
For the cover.
1!
2!
3!
DDD!!
Coach pounds his chest like he just slayed a beast, and shouts for a mic.
Coach: The mic! The mic, the thing you hold in your hand!
Geoff: Ugh...
Coach raises that mic, and who knows what he's about to say.
Coach: I'm not the coward Scott said I am. I showed him, his family, and everyone here that I'm a monster in this ring. Not many can beat two people in one night, but i'm one of the few who can live to tell the tale.
Geoff: Bullshit.
Coach: Don't let the haters drag you down. They want you to suffer, don't validate them. People like Adrian, Kevin, even Geoff over there don't think I have a chance, but I've overcome adversity my whole life. Adrian. Kevin. You are the dragons, and I. Am. The.
He holds the mic out..and it's just booing.
Coach: Dragonslayer. You were supposed to say the—-Nevermind.
Coach tosses the mic and spreads his arms like he's a messiah.
Jack: Well, it doesn't matter if it's Adrian Elliott or Kevin Riley, one of them will have their most...unique challenger. You ok Geoff?
Geoff: This guy...
Jack: The show must go on. Up next, Sweet Tooth will address our Worldwide Champion, after laying him flat out. But first..Doctor Robotnik sent a challenge out to Jack Sparrow, but how will that, "greasy dirtbag" respond.
***************
The first sight is an egg cracking above a pan, and it's yolk falling onto a sizzling pan.
Jack Sparrow has his usual gear on, but his normal hat is replaced with a chefs hat. He has a stove on the ship.
How? Don't ask questions.
Sparrow: You aren't great at deals mate. You get to embarrass me if I lose, but you just get off free? Come on.
Smoke rises from the sizzling egg.
Sparrow: Let's add spice to our wager. An eye for an eye. If you win, I'll cut these dreads off. But if you lose..you do the same.
The pirate gives a devious smirk.
Sparrow: You opened the book. I'll close it for you. Savvy?
***************
Jeff's Office
Jeff stacks one last piece of paper on a big stack of papers.
Jeff: Phew..now that's done—
The mad doctor (Robotnik) enters the office.
Jeff: Oh.
Robotnik: Hair versus hair. Do it.
Jeff double takes.
Jeff: What? So you're telling me you're willing to lose your hair, to beat up Jack Sparrow.
Robotnik: Precisely.
Jeff: Your narcissism won't get in the way?
Robotnik: Ho-ho-ho! It's not narcissism or egomania. I simply know I'm better. I have him beat at every angle: The numbers are mine, I have more wins in life. There should be no reason that slimeball steals my hair from me.
Jeff's jaw hangs open.
Jeff: YOU..got yourself a match.
Robotnik: I knew you'd come around.
Jeff: Just warning you: If you lose, don't come crying to me about a lawsuit. You asked for this.
The Doctor already turns to the door.
Robotnik: Sparrow will be filing the lawsuit.
After the doctor leaves, Jeff looks on.
Jeff: Stepped right out of a cartoon..
***************
Jack and Geoff welcome us back on commentary.
Geoff: Our first Hair versus Hair match! What a throwback.
Jack: This is ridiculous.
Geoff: Well you know who's more ridiculous?? SWEET TOOTH. That clown stacked two people, and laid out our champ in SECONDS! If you want to make a great first impression, that's how you do it. It won't win you any friends, but nobody's your friend in this business.
Fire blasts, and the booing begins as Sweet Tooth slowly steps out from the flames.
Geoff: This is a madman. He doesn't need to do any dirty work, he doesn't need to knock down the ref, he comes in, dominates, wins.
Jack: Price and Kang felt his wrath, and Deathstroke might be next.
The lunatic takes his time getting down the ramp.
Geoff: I don't know what the hell this man's about to say, I don't even know if he passed our psych eval.
Jack: If Slade's defending against someone like THIS? He needs to play that differently.
Sweet Tooth forces the top rope down, and enters above it. The bellkeeper just slides the mic.
Geoff: Here goes, Jack...
The clown's gross breathing is heard. There is nothing in his soul.
Sweet Tooth: Clock's ticking. You don't know the lengths I've went to get what i want. How brutal my methods are. I want you to whimper. Pray while you do.
Some disgusted faces are shown.
Sweet Tooth: God can't save you.
Slade comes running down!
Jack: Take this pervert out!!
He slides right in and the two exchange rights! Slade gets a knee right on his nose, and finally seems to have the advantage!
KANO rolls in and tackles him! The boos come back as the Black Dragon lays elbows in!
Geoff: There goes Kano, back on his grudge..
The cheers fight back, as LOKI rolls in and jumps on Kano!
Geoff: End the grudge Loki!
The two roll to the outside, while Sweet Tooth clutches his nose!
Jack: This has devolved into raw chaos. That's what we do here!
Outside, Loki drives Kano into the barricade, but before he can do any more damage, WADE jumps from the crowd and blasts him from behind!
Wade: You don't pin ME and get away with it!
Just when the booing gets an advantage, the cheering returns because Red Hood spins Wade around and pops him on the mouth!
Geoff: Everyone's here!
The audience turns their attention to the corner SUB-ZERO's at the top!
Jack: Well shit Liang's here, and he's going airborne!
Before he can jump..RANDY CARTER jumps the barricade and clutches his throat!
Geoff: Oh god! Watch out fellas!
*RANDY Carter shows up, and grabs Sub's throat..he throws Sub off the top onto the other four! He heads to the pile!*
Randy throws him onto the four!! A giant pile of man is on the ground!
Jack: Just like that, Carter's laid out his competition!
Randy turns to the man in the ring: Sweet Tooth.
Sweet Tooth: Heh.
Randy: Later.
Randy saves him for later, and hops down. Red Hood and Loki swing at him at the same time, and soon enough that big brawl's back on outside!
Inside, Deathstroke blasts that massive clown with another knee! Sweets finds himself at the corner, and gets his hands on the ropes.
Slade's oncoming...
The top turnbuckle flies off and mows Slade down!
Jack: WHAT THE HELL??
Geoff: Slade's..just been brutalized..
The challenger looks over the champions body. He's out.
Jack: Rarely do I EVER see someone detach a rope and use it that way...
With his competition demolished, Sweet Tooth gets a foot on the champ, and raises the belt once again.
Geoff: If I'm Slade..I feel hopeless. If a man can lay me out from behind, and knock me out from the front, I recognize that's not a man. That's a beast.
Jeff walks out onstage, sending security to break up the six men brawling on the outside.
Jack: This show has ended in chaos! Im Jack!
Geoff: I'm Geoff!
Jack: Signing off! We'll see you in our next episode!
Security jumps into the brawl, and the camera fades to black.
***************
Episode 9 Card:
— The Six in the Men's Chamber all in one ring before No Way Out
— Sub-Zero, Loki, and Red Hood vs. Randy Carter, Kano, and Wade Fenwick
— The Six in the Women's Chamber all in one ring before No Way Out
— Adrian Elliott vs. James Norrington (Winner challenges for either Global or TV Championship)
— Tommy Miles Steps Back Into The Ring
Episode 10 Card ( AFTER No Way Out):
— Street Fight: Judith Davila vs. Elisa Vance
— Grant Bowman Steps Back Into The Ring
— TBD
***************
No Way Out Match Card:
— #1 Contenders Elimination Chamber: Kano vs. Red Hood vs. Wade Fenwick vs. Sub-Zero vs. Loki vs. Randy Carter
1 Contenders Elimination Chamber: Tianna vs. Casey Rogers vs. Agent Carter vs. Natasha Romanoff vs. Judith Davila vs. Elisa Vance
— IWA Worldwide Championship: (c) Deathstroke vs. Sweet Tooth
— IWA Television Championship: (c) Kevin Riley vs. "Coach" Benjamin Wade vs. Adrian Elliott...OR...IWA Global Championship: (c) SpongeBob SquarePants vs. James Norrington
— Hair vs. Hair: Jack Sparrow vs. Doctor Robotnik
******************