Taehyung's pov:
I sat rocking my legs idly on the barely moving swing. The park was quiet, no one wanting to take their children out to play when the temperatures are almost below freezing.
The breeze was gentle but deathly. It made my ears burn and nose sting whenever I breathed in. But I found it comforting in a slightly sadistic way.
I let out a sigh of I don't know what. Relief? Sadness?
The sun was beginning to set and I could just make out it's disappearing shadow behind the clouds in the distance. A lot has happened since slipping in front of Jungkook today at lunch.
Jungkook had to pull me out of my space just before the bell went. However I was lucky as I had his class next. For some odd reason I didn't feel like I wanted the ground to swallow me up whole when I had realised what had happened. In a surprising turn of events I felt relieved. I hadn't felt that calm and relaxed in weeks and god knows I needed it.
Jungkook was so kind and caring about the whole thing. Making sure I was alright and checking up on me throughout his lesson. I'm not sure why I was so worked up about him knowing before. Maybe Jimin was right. I felt different with him in little space than I do with my friends also. I felt safe and loved like I do with my hyung's, but he had this protectiveness that just made me want to stay little. Stay in Jungkook's arms?
It's weird I know. He's my art professor, but there's just something about him that I can't seem to shake my mind of.
When the last bell went to indicate the end of college, I made my way to Haru's nursery like I usually have for the last few weeks. If I start the 25 minute walk the second college ends, I can just about get there in time for Haru's class to finish.
However once I got there, around 5 minutes later than I would've hoped, I was surprised to be told that Haru had already been picked up. My dad had already gotten him earlier.
This was surprising as well as slightly relieving. My dad has not been coming home from work until the late hours of the evening recently so why has he got Haru? However it'll be nice to see him. It would of also been helpful if he had told me as his nursery is the complete opposite direction from the house when I leave college. It would of saved me an all round 45 minute trip. But regardless I was relieved that I didn't have to carry Haru the whole way home. He's light but my recent lack of eating and constantly floating head space makes it's difficult for me to carry anything at the moment.
Once I had gotten myself home, the sun was just beginning to set. I pulled my keys out and unlocked the door. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I got in but the sight I was greeted with wasn't it.
Suitcases.
Two suitcases were by the bottom of the stairs, followed by a duffel bag.
"dad?" I called out, hanging up my coat and bag whilst eyeing the luggage suspiciously. Were we going somewhere?
"where have you been?" my dads agitated voice greeted me, he walked out of the kitchen holding Haru on his hip. He was eating a chocolate biscuit, getting the crumbs all over his face and looking absolutely adorable.
"h-haru's nursery. I thought I was picking him up?" I asked quietly, not wanting to anger my father.
"why would you think you were doing that?" he spat.
"b-because I have the past few weeks" I mumbled, eyes glued to my intertwining fingers.
"past what?" he asked, voice picking up.
"few weeks" I said a bit louder, scared he's going to shout at me.
"so what are you saying? that i'm incapable of picking up my own son from daycare?" he spits venomously. "that I can't look after my own child and that you have to do it for me?"
I forced myself to bring my head up and look him in the eyes. They were glowing with anger.
"n-no of course not dad i'm sorry, it was stupid of me to think that" I mumble the last part, voice and eye contact faltering slightly.
My dad clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.
"i'm starting to get really sick of your attitude recently. Always thinking you're above me. Thinking you can look after Haru better than I can" he says, walking towards the suitcases.
"n-no that's not what i-i think at all" I try, voice just above a whisper. My dad has gotten so cruel these last few weeks.
"we're leaving for awhile" he states, picking up one of the suitcases in his free hand. Haru's still eating his biscuits, unaware of tense atmosphere.
"where are we going?" I ask, trying to keep my bottom lip from quivering.
"no not you. Haru and myself" he states, as if it's the most obvious thing. "here hold your brother"
I take Haru from my fathers arms and watch as he goes outside and starts to load up the car.
"wait what? w-where are you guys going?" I'm confused and starting to feel overwhelmed. Are they leaving me?
"just away. For awhile. Not sure when we will be back" his voice is blunt and monotone. He walks past me to get the other luggage like i'm not even here.
"w-why can't I go with you guys? how long are you g-going for?" My eyes start to water and I hold Haru a bit tighter. Not wanting to be left alone. My breath hitches when my dad tries to take my brother from my hold.
"dad?" I question when he doesn't answer me.
"give me Haru Taehyung" he demands, and I cower as I reluctantly let him go.
"I said I don't know. And you can't come with us. End of."
I'm lost for words as dad straps Haru into his baby seat in the car.
"i-i um"
My struggle for words are unheard by my father as he gets into the drivers seat and reverses down the drive, before driving off without a second look at me. Or even a goodbye.
I'm left in the driveway, confused and shocked. Tears fall down my cheeks and I was struggling to comprehend what has just even happened. Have they just left me?
I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back in the house. Without thinking properly, I shut the front door and just begin walking. Not wanting to face that i'll be in that home alone, for god knows how long.
That's why i'm here. At the park.
The sun is well and truly setting now, the sky is painted with beautiful pinks and oranges. However I regret not thinking clearly enough to bring a coat. I cover my hands with the long sleeves i'm wearing but the bitter chill in the air seeps through the thin piece of clothing.
I let out a long sigh, watching my breath create fog. I should probably go back home soon. It won't be long until it's dark and I don't want to be out here when it does. I guess i've got to face the empty house sooner or later.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the park gate open. I look up to see three bodies in the distance. Two guys talking and a very loud blonde.
Oh god.
Sure enough, in walks Yoongi and Jungkook chatting away, with a very excited and hyper Jimin skipping in front. He must be in little space. They're wrapped up to the ninth in warm clothes and I watch as Jimin makes a run for the slide across the park. Yoongi jogs after him, making sure he gets up the metal stairs okay.
"Taehyung?"
I snap my head back over to the park entrance, where Jungkook is looking at me confused.
I give one final look at the excited little, screaming in delight as he flys down the slide, Yoongi quickly catching him before I look back over to Jungkook who's making his way over to me.
"oh h-hi Jungkook" I whisper, looking down to my hands.
"what are you doing out here alone Tae? It's freezing out here" he asks, sitting down in the swing beside me.
"o-oh um, no reason, j-just out for a walk" I lie, the stutter in my voice makes it quite obvious that i'm lying, and the the look on Jungkook's face tells me that too.
"why aren't you wearing a coat? you're going to catch a cold!" he lightly scolds, standing up and unzipping the huge black puffer coat he has on.
"Oh! no you don't have to do that.." I plead as Jungkook takes off his coat and wraps it around me. He crouches down in front of my body and zips it up.
"don't be silly i've got like another three layers on" he chuckles, making sure the coat is fully zipped up before sitting back down on the swing.
As guilty as I feel because Jungkook must be freezing now, this coat is so warm. It's absolutely huge on me, covering my hands and dropping down to my knees despite meaning to be a cropped puffer. The same feeling I felt when I was in little space today arises within me. Protection. I feel safe and protected with this on. It's incredibly warm and smells amazing. Smells of Jungkook. My head begins to feel a bit fuzzy but I just ignore it, clearing my throat and snapping myself out of it.
"t-thank you" I whisper.
Jungkook just gives me a smile before looking over to Jimin. He is still yet to notice me but I see that Yoongi has. I watch as he gets Jimin's attention and tells him something, before the little is looking directly at me. He's up and running towards me in seconds.
"TAETAE!" he yells, engulfing me into a hug.
"h-hi Jimin" I smile, trying not to fall off of the swing. I can hear Jungkook chuckling beside us.
"that's enough Jimin let the poor boy go" I hear Yoongi say.
Jimin let's go with a pout but smiles excitedly at me nonetheless.
"it's nice to finally meet you Taehyung. I've heard so much about you from this hyper one here" Yoongi greets, ruffling Jimin's hair and bringing him into a side hug.
I've never met Yoongi before, but from seeing him around college I've always assumed he was cold and mean. Mainly due to his blunt expressions and intimidating exterior when he walks around campus. But he seems the complete opposite here. I shouldn't of judged him so soon.
"it's nice to meet you too" I shyly say, only being able to hold his eye contact for a second before looking back down.
"is taetae playing with me??" Jimin asks yoongi excitedly, bouncing up and down in his hold. Jimin has a big puffer coat on, similar to Jungkook's and has a scarf wrapped snuggly around his neck. He does look adorable if I say so myself.
"i'm not sure baby you'll have to ask him" Yoongi tells him, giving me a warm smile.
"taetae wanna play with me? Pleaseeee pretty pleaseeeeeeeee" Jimin begs, giving me the biggest puppy eyes ever.
Just watching him so happy and carefree in little space is really making my head go fuzzy. I'd love to just give in and play with Jimin. However, I can't. Not today. It doesn't feel right for me to have fun after my dad just getting up and leaving me. For however long.. I feel like my dads hatred towards me in first place arose because I was being too carefree in little space for so long.
"O-oh I um" I struggle for words. Not knowing how to say no and not wanting to disappoint Jimin or Yoongi.
"you don't have to say yes if you don't want to Tae" Jungkook reassures and I just look at him with slightly widened eyes. He seems to understand what I want to say because he gives me a warm smile before turning to Jimin.
"sorry bug, Taehyung's not playing today, maybe another time"
"awhh taetae no play with me???" Jimin's frown appears and he stops jumping excitedly. Instantly making me feel guilty.
"it's okay Chim, i'll still play with you, I hear there's a monster hiding under the slide that needs defeating" Yoongi loudly whispers to Jimin, who instantly perks up at his daddy's words.
"I go scare him off daddy!" he yells, before running off to the slide, leaving yoongi with a fond look on his face. I watch as he shares a look with Jungkook before greeting me goodbye.
"it was lovely to meet you Taehyung, take care and don't catch a cold" he says before going after his little.
I let out a quiet sigh as I watch how carefree Jimin is. He looks so happy.
"are you okay?" Jungkook asks, almost startling me as I nearly forgot he was sat beside me. Too lost in my own thoughts.
"y-yeah i'm alright" I smile, trying not to think about slipping. The fuzziness in my head is staying and not going away. It's becoming slightly irritating.
"you can slip and go play with Jimin if you want to, I can look after you if you were worried about being alone in little space" Jungkook tells me, watching how my eyes never leave Jimin.
As tempting as the offer sounds, I can't.
I let my eyes linger on the cute couple a few seconds longer before turning my attention to Jungkook, who I find to be already staring at me. I quickly look away, a blush slowly covering my already cold cheeks.
"thank you for the offer but i'm okay, i'm actually going to head home" I tell him, standing up and beginning to unzip Jungkook's coat I had on.
"woah there Tae its freezing and you've only got a top on" he tells me, quickly getting to his feet and preventing me from taking the puffer off.
"b-but your coat.." I trail off, confused.
"why don't I drive you home? Yoongi and I took separate cars anyway, it's no trouble" He tells me, although I couldn't possibly let him go out of his way to take me home.
"thank you but no thank you Jungkook, I don't mind walking" I try and give him a reassuring smile but it falters without myself realising.
"I can't let you walk home by yourself in this weather. And besides, it's getting dark, please" The look in Jungkook's eyes made me sigh and give in.
"ok" I whisper, pulling the coat's sleeves back over my hands. "thank you"
-
The walk over to Jungkook's car wasn't long but it gave me enough time to think.
If I go home now, i'll have to face the fact that i've just been potentially abandoned by my father. The only biological family that I have. On the contrary it would make a nice break from my dads angry snarks and hurtful comments.
I could message Seokjin Hyung so I don't have to be alone.. But I haven't spoken to or seen them for weeks now and they'll be mad at me. Mad I haven't spoken to them and will probably want nothing to do with me..
I guess I am truly alone now.
I was snapped out of my overwhelming thoughts and feelings by a hand waving in front of my face.
"there he is" Jungkook smiles, and I now just realise we're standing outside of Jungkook's car, and that I have been zoned out.
"oh i-i'm sorry" I quickly apologise, looking away awkwardly.
"don't apologise Taehyung, are you okay? You seem to not really be here" he tells me.
I sigh and turn to meet his eyes.
"yeah i'm fine sorry, i'm ready to go h-home" without realising a tear slips from eye and Jungkook instantly look concerned.
"hey it's okay, what's the matter? why are you crying?" his voice is gentle but filled with worry, He takes my face in his hand and it feels warm despite the cold weather.
"n-nothing i'm fine" I quickly wipe away the tear but more keep falling. Quickly blurring my vision.
"it's okay, let it out" Jungkook tells me, pulling me into a hug. My face meets his chest and tall frame, and the feeling of being comforted and safe makes me cry harder. Reminding me of what I no longer have.
I feel Jungkook's fingers run through my hair and I whimper at the touch. Not wanting him to stop.
"i don't want to go home" I find myself blurting out through my sobs, feeling as though I can tell Jungkook this.
"i know" he whispers back, holding me a bit tighter. I'm not sure what gave it away or how he knew but i'm glad he does and isn't asking questions.
"you're so stressed Tae, why don't you slip hm?" Jungkook suggests, holding me a bit tighter. The words are music to my ears and now completely fuzzy brain.
"i-i can't n-not now" I sniffle, another sob leaving my lips. I can't be in little space when I go home. Need to have a clear mind to process what is going on. Need to get all of my crying out of my system now.
"it's okay, i'll be here for you little one" Jungkook try's and coaxes.
"I don't know what to do p'ease" I find myself slipping in and out. Desperately wanting to slip but knowing I shouldn't.
"there you go baby you can. That's it i'm so proud" The pet names and praises make me just give in. Letting myself slip and finally give into the fuzziness.
-
bit of a filler chapter to get a foundation -
next chapter will be fully little space tae