#DS5Unbowed #EmbRace #PuppyCouple #DaggerSeries
CHAPTER 16: DETONATE
EMBER'S POV
For the umpteenth time, Trace's gaze was drawn to my feet. Hindi ako sigurado kanina kung anong tinitignan niya pero dahil ilang ulit niya ng ginawa iyon ay ngayon ay natitiyak ko na kung ano ang nakakuha ng atensyon niya. His eyes went up, and I saw him flinch a bit when he saw that I was looking at him through narrowed eyes.
"Why do you keep looking at my feet?" Nagdududang pinakatitigan ko siya. "Do you have some kind of a weird fetish?"
Namula ang mukha ng lalaki at nilingon niya ako nang huminto kami sa stop light. "I'm not looking at your feet. I'm looking at your shoes."
Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa suot kong sapatos. It's an ivory satin stilleto heels with studded ankle straps. It's a Jimmy Choo and a gift from one of my sponsors for my birthday two years ago. Bihira akong bumili ng mamahaling sapatos, damit, o bag. Wala naman akong masyadong paggagamitan ng mga iyon. Bumibili man ako ay minsan lang at kapag alam ko na may dadaluhan akong importanteng events. And some are from my father.
"Why? What's wrong with them?"
"They look uncomfortable to wear. Your feet will hurt later."
I shrugged. "You have a gun, I have my stilleto."
"Are you planning to use it as a weapon?"
"If the situation arises."
Umangat ang sulok ng mga labi niya pero hindi na siya nagkomento pa. Muli niyang pinaandar ang sasakyan nang magkulay berde ang traffic light.
It's the first time we've had a conversation since we left Tagaytay. I'm annoyed at him for turning off my alarm and for not waking me up, so I'm giving him the silent treatment. Alam kong sinadiya niya iyon para hindi ko magawang makasama sa pagpunta sa ama ko. Thorn and Gun have a meeting with him about the termination of the contract. Nang magising ako ay paalis na sila at hindi ako makakasabay dahil kailangan ko pang mag-ayos.
Nagbaba ako ng mga mata sa suot ko na relos. We still have time. Even if they have already started the meeting ay maabutan pa rin namin sila.
"Basement parking," sabi ko kay Trace nang mamataan ko ang pamilyar na building.
"Tatawagan ko muna si Kuya Thorn para mabigyan tayo ng authorization—"
"They'll let us in." Nang bumuka ang bibig niya para magsalita ay inunahan ko siya. "Trust me."
His eyes flashed, recognizing the familiar words that he always asks of me. Tumango siya at pagkatapos ay iniliko niya ang sasakyan na may signage na nagtuturo papunta sa basement parking.
Gaya ng inaasahan ay kaagad hinarang ang sasakyan namin ng lumabas na security guard. Trace rolled down his window, and the guard leaned down as if to speak to him. Iyon nga lang ay natigilan ang security guard nang mamataan ako at bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya na iminuwestra niya sa kasamahan niya na iangat ang harang para makapasok kami.
I rarely visit my father's office, but that doesn't stop people from recognizing me whenever I do. It's not just because I'm the firstborn Calderon, but for a particular reason that Trace will soon see for himself.
When Trace found a parking near the elevators, he turned to me. "Are you still angry at me?"
"Hindi ako galit."
"Yes you are, and it's okay." Sandaling pinagmasdan niya ang mukha ko. "I didn't want you to go."
"I gather that."
"I don't want you to be stressed and annoyed."
Humalukipkip ako pero hindi ako nagsalita. He didn't want me to be annoyed, but the same thing happened because of what he did.
"But most of all, I don't want you to get hurt."
His words penetrated my heart, and I felt it squeeze. I didn't speak, but this time it was because I couldn't find the voice to do so.
"It bothers you whenever your father is mentioned. I hate bringing him up in our conversations for that reason."
"I'm a big girl, Trace. I'll handle it. I always have."
"Princess—"
"I don't have the best relationship with my father. I know that you're aware of that. But I'm going to be fine."
I could see his doubt, and I can't blame him. Maging ako ay hindi alam kung kakayanin kong panindigan ang binitawan kong salita sa kaniya.
Sanay na akong ma-disappoint pagdating sa ama ko pero hindi ibig sabihin ay walang parte sa akin na gusto pa ring umasa na may magbabago sa amin. It has always been like that with us. I want to keep my distance so that I can protect myself, but I also want to get closer. Opposites that end with the same results. The distance hurts... but not as much as trying to close the gap and failing.
Bumuntong-hininga si Trace at lumabas siya ng sasakyan para umikot sa gawi ko. He opened the door at my side, and he helped me step down. He reached for my hand as we walked towards the elevators, and I let him. It's kind of his thing. Gusto niya ay laging hawak ang kamay ko.
I trained my eyes on the doors, noticing the logo of the company painted on them. The word "Perenne" was in capital letters, and under it is a willow tree.
According to the articles I've read about my family, Perenne didn't always have the logo it has now. When my mother married my father and invested in the company, they changed the logo. It was said the willow was the symbol of my mother, Callista. Her name came from Callisto of Greek mythology, and one of the nymph's symbols was the willow tree.
"I can't stop you," Trace said as moments of silence enveloped the both of us. "You want this, and you said you're going to be fine."
"That's right—"
"If you're not fine after this, that's what I will handle."
He's saying that if this ends badly for me, he'll be the one taking care of it— of me.
For years, it's been a cycle of hope and pain when it comes to my father. I always end up facing everything alone. I'm used to it, but no matter how much a person tries to convince herself and the world that she's fine by herself, there's a fragment that always longs for a different thing.
Marahang binitawan niya ang kamay ko nang huminto ang elevator at bumukas ang pintuan niyon. We stepped out, and he didn't reach for my hand again. Despite that, he remained close. It was as if he knew that I needed to do what I had to do on my own, but in a way that he had my back and that I wasn't alone.
Kaagad kong naramdaman ang pagbabago ng atmospera sa paligid. Ang mga nagmamadaling pagkilos ng mga empleyadong tila abala sa kani-kanilang mga gawain ay napapatigil habang nakatingin sa direksyon namin.
I heard Trace's intake of breath, and I knew what caught his attention even without me turning to look at him.
Alam kong inembestigan nila ang pamilya ko para sa case. They've been gathering information about my mother as well, so I know that they know what she looked like. Pero naiintindihan ko rin ang kaibigahan ng mga lumang larawan na nahanap nila at ang imahe ng ina ko na ngayon ay nakikita ng binata.
My mother's face's vast painting greeted us behind the reception desk. It was created so beautifully that the art itself felt like it breathed life on its own.
"I can't imagine my father seeing that every day," I told Trace without taking my eyes off the painting.
He could have it covered, but the painting was done by Ajani Etienam. He's an African billionaire business magnate and famous artist now, but he was once a recipient of the scholarship that Perenne established all over the world. A charity that my mother inspired. The same way she gave the idea to my father, to not just focus on the company's infrastructure projects but also to dedicate resources to developing renewable energy.
She was a housewife, and she rarely left the ranch, but she managed to make the world a little better.
I looked away from the image of my mother, and my eyes caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirrored wall panel near us. My hair was clipped on both sides of my head with gold hair pins, but I let it hang straight and loose. I'm also wearing a white wrap dress with sleeves that hugged my body tight.
I was the present-day version of the woman in the painting. It's no wonder why the looks that the people are giving me vary from awe to shock. It has been years since Callista Calderon passed, but seeing me, to them it's probably seems like she came back to life.
Tinanguhan ko ang babaeng receptionist pero hindi ako huminto at sa halip ay diretsong tumuloy ako sa isa pang elevator na siyang magdadala sa amin sa pinakamataas na palapag ng gusali kung saan naroon ang opisina ng ama ko.
It didn't take long for us to reach the top floor. Dire-diretsong tinungo ko ang kinaroroonan ng conference room habang tahimik na nakasunod lang si Trace. Without delaying, I opened the door, and we were greeted by the sight of my father and Trace's brothers, who looked like they were having a heated discussion.
Hindi lang sila ang nandoon kundi maging ang asawa ng ama ko. My stepbrother Angelo Belmonte, my half-sister Ellena Calderon, and a man I didn't recognize were also present. He must be my Ellena's fiancé.
The first one to react was my stepmother. Her face settled on a remorseful appearance, but not before I caught a glimpse of the displeasure that colored her face first.
"Ember!" Napuno ng luha ang mga mata ng madrasta ko na tumayo at para bang nasa pelikulang dahan-dahan na lumapit sa akin. Ngayon lang ako nakakita ng taong gumagawa ng sarili niyang slow motion effect sa totoong buhay. "I wanted to see you to tell you how sorry I am."
She wanted to see me? Wala sa kanila ang nakakaalam na pupunta ako rito sa Perenne. I doubt she'll reach out on her own if I wasn't here right now.
"H-Hindi ko gusto na masaktan ka. Hindi iyon ang intensyon ko. Natakot... natakot lang ako. It was wrong and I'm so sorry for that."
Pinahid niya ang hawak na panyo sa gilid ng mga mata niya. Nagtangka siya na lumapit sa akin pero kaagad na iniharang ni Trace ang katawan niya sa akin. She was taken aback for a moment, but she quickly turned her expression back to the regret-filled one again.
"Your father kept talking about bringing you home and about asking you to stop your hobby and finally face your responsibilities as a Calderon. I lost my mind for a second. What I did was wrong, but I just got scared that your brother would be set aside. He worked hard for our company for years, and he earned his position. Your father already gave you the ranch—"
She continued talking, but I wasn't listening anymore. A hobby. Something that I worked hard for and should be proud of is just a hobby for them.
I kept my face blank and I stared straight into my stepmother's eyes. "What made you think that I have any interest in this company?"
"W-What?"
Humila ako ng bakanteng upuan at umupo ako roon bago ko inilipat ang mga mata ko sa kinaroroonan ng ama ko. "I don't want to work for Perenne. I doubt that's really what Papa meant when he said something about facing my responsibilities." My father's jaw hardened, but I returned my gaze to the woman in front of me. "Papa gave me back the ranch when I was of legal age. You know that the Estremeras had lived on that ranch for years. I didn't get the ranch just because I inherited it from my father. Pag-aari rin ng ina ko ang rancho. She gave it to me. She left everything she owned to me. That's the ranch, my trust fund, and her shares in this company."
It wasn't a secret, but the look in my stepmother's eyes tells me that my father never talked to her about the shares.
I don't know why it's a surprise to her. There's a reason why the Estremera and Calderon families arranged my parents' marriage.
Kaya nakakapagtaka nga rin na hindi niya hinahabol ang rancho. She just always hated it because it's associated with my mother, and it has always been called Rancho Callista. The Calderon name was known back in the ranch, known from being a rich family that comes from Manila that sometimes visits their vacation house in the province, but the Estremera is the real talk of the town. They're the old money that has been living there for years.
Kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung inaakala ng stepmother ko na hindi ganoong kalaki ang pag-aari ng Calderon sa rancho. Maybe that's why she's more interested in staying here in Manila. If only she knew how much land the Calderon family owns.
"I could give all of that to my father. I don't care about that."
Lumiwanag ang mga mata niya sa sinabi. How can my father not see this? Her greed is as clear as the sky.
"But let's make it clear. Your son has a position in this company, but that's all he will ever have." Sandaling nilingon ko ang stepbrother ko na hindi kakakitaan ng kahit na anong emosyon. "I'm sorry, but that's the truth. Ellena is a Calderon, and she has the right to inherit what Papa owns, but she didn't want to work. That doesn't matter because that's what Papa wants, right? He just needs a husband for her daughter. One that has influence, power, and money that could help the company grow. Her husband would be the one sitting on top of Perenne when Papa retires."
It's the same thing he wants for me. Ano pa bang rason kung bakit gusto niya akong mag-asawa?
"Watch how you talk to your mother, Ember," my father warned.
"I haven't talked to her yet, Pa. It's hard to visit her grave when I couldn't go home to the ranch because of a murderer."
Napasinghap ang madrasta ko at lalong dumilim ang ekspresyon sa mukha ng ama ko. I know what my words implied. Wala namang mali sa sinabi ko. My stepmother is not my mother. She's even a stepmother just by name. Hindi siya kailanman tumayo bilang ina ko o pangalawang ina. She's just a person who happens to marry my father.
"Your wife messed up the investigation, and threated my safety because of the company that I never been interested to have."
"She and I will handle that in private. You don't need to mind that. Ang intindihin mo ay ang paglipat sa bahay natin."
"I actually want to mind what she did. It was my safety. What she did happened to me." Inunahan ko sa pagsasalita ang ama ko nang makita kong akmang may sasabihin siya. "At wala akong balak tumuloy sa inyo."
"Hindi ka pwedeng manatili sa kanila." He pointed in Trace's two older brothers' directions. "They already terminated the contract. You have nowhere to go except our home."
"Your home. Mine's at the ranch, and I can't go there."
"Stop being difficult, Ember. Ang dami kong kailangan asikasuhin nang dahil sa'yo. I'm going to hire another agency, so do me a favor and go home and wait."
It's funny how it seems that I'm the one inconveniencing him when it was his wife and his inability to compromise that resulted in the end of his agreement with Dagger.
"You're not going to hire another agency."
"Ember—"
"Or you can. I don't care. Dagger will stay with me. If you want another agency to do your bidding then suit yourself, Pa."
"Hindi mo ba naiintindihan ang sinabi ko? I already terminated the contract," he said through gritted teeth.
"Your contract. Not mine." Tumingin ako sa direksyon ni Thorn. "Tell me where I need to sign."
"You're not going to sign a contract with them, Ember Nile Calderon!"
Kita ko kung paanong napapitlag dahil sa dumadagundong na boses ng ama ko ang mga taong nasa loob ng conference room maliban na lang sa magkakapatid na Dawson at sa akin na nanatiling blangko ang ekspresyon.
"Do I need to remind you that I'm not a child?"
"Hindi mo naiintindihan. Sa tingin mo ba ay kakayanin mong solusyunan ang sitwasyon? Do you think you can take care of everything alone?!"
Nagpakawala ako ng pagak na tawa. "It's funny. I've been alone all my life, and this is the first time that I feel like I am not."
My words seem to land a blow on him. He looks stricken, but it is soon replaced by anger. Kumuyom ang mga kamay niya nang mahigpit dahilan para halos makita na ang puti sa mga iyon.
"Pa, I don't want to fight with you. I already made a decision. Tama ka. Hindi ko kayang bigyan ng solusyon lahat ng nangyayari. That's why I'm doing the smart thing and letting the people who know what they're doing handle everything. I understand that you don't feel comfortable with them for a reason that you only know. You're free to hire other people to protect you and the family, but you don't need to include me."
"You're not doing the smart thing. Gusto mo lang manatali sa kanila dahil nabilog ng isang 'yan ang utak mo. I doubt if he can even protect you. He's only protecting his interests."
I froze on my seat when his hand knifed up. Dinuro niya ang direksyon na kahit hindi ko sundan ay alam kong nakaturo kay Trace.
So that's one of his reasons. Not just because Dagger won't bark at his command. Of course. Of course he heard about him.
Kumalat ang larawan namin ni Trace at hindi lang iyong mga kasama namin ang pamilya niya. The image of us kissing had already circulated before we managed to put a stop to it. Hindi malabong makarating din iyon sa ama ko.
"Can't you see, Ember? They're holding on you tight after I asked them to end our agreement. Nang makita nilang wala na silang mahihita sa akin ay ikaw naman ang pinuntirya nila," matalim ang tingin sa kinatatayuan ni Trace na sabi niya.
"You don't know them," I whispered.
"And you do? Can you really say that you know what kind of people they are?"
"I don't know." His face cleared, and he leaned back on his chair. Ekspresyon na kaagad napawi nang muli akong magsalita. "You tell me, Pa."
Sandaling nilingon ko ang dalawang nakatatandang Dawson bago ko muling ibinalik ang mga mata ko sa ama ko.
"Gunter Dawson's wife always makes sure to cook separate food for me whenever they come over because she knows that I don't eat meat. Ganoon din sa asawa ni Axel Dawson na sinisiguro na makakain ko lahat ng pastries na ginagawa niya. Pierce Dawson's wife keeps responding to my bashers online without a care in the world if it will affect her too. Luna Dawson kept writing articles about me to clear up the misconceptions about me that exist out there. And Thorn Dawson's wife made me laugh more times than I ever did in my life. She always includes me, and she never makes me feel like an outsider." Mahigpit na kinuyom ko ang mga kamay ko sa paraan na ramdam ko na ang pagbaon ng mga kuko ko roon. "The Dawson men? No matter how busy they are, even if they have a family of their own, they never treated me like I was a burden to them. That I'm just a responsibility that they need to take care of."
I could see that he could hear the unspoken words behind what I said.
Whenever I go visit them, I have to bring or order my own food. Dahil kung hindi ay ang dekorasyon sa mga inihanda lang nila ang magagawa kong kainin. He never protected me from the hurtful things being thrown at me... o kahit tanungin lang kung okay lang ako.
And through the years, there wasn't a single time that I didn't feel like an outsider when I was with them.
"Dagger don't need us, Pa. We need them. Hindi tayo kawalan sa kanila."
He pressed his lips into a thin line, and I know that there's nothing that I could say that could change his mind.
Emmiliano Calderon is the head of the family. He wants to control everything. Lalo na ako na lumaki na wala sa poder niya. But regardless of growing up without him, it's not difficult to read him. Maybe because I've been trying to understand him for years that it's become a bit easier to understand how his mind works.
I've been thinking about it since I talked with the Dawsons. My father wanted to hide something from me. When Dagger decided that it's not right, and they told him the same thing, he decided to end the agreement with them.
Iisang bagay lang naman ang kahit na kailan ay hindi niya gustong pag-usapan naming dalawa.
Dagger has been right all along.
"Everything that's happening... it's connected to my mother, isn't it?" I whispered.
I pulled my gaze away from the man who calls himself my father, and I looked at Thorn. Kaagad na bumuka ang bibig niya para ibigay sa akin ang kailangan ko pero hindi niya nagawang ituloy iyon nang lumikha nang malakas na ingay ang lamesa nang inihampas doon ng ama ko ang kamay niya.
"They won't tell you anything!" he said, his face red with anger.
"They will if I hire them. This is not just about you. It's also about me. She's my mother—"
"Ember!"
I grab the end of the table, my nails biting into it. "You can't keep hiding her from me!"
For the first time in my life, I raised my voice not just on another person, but to my father. Pakiramdam ko may humihila sa mga taling matagal ng nakapulupot sa loob ng dibdib ko na siyang natatanging pumipigil na tuluyan akong madurog.
"People talk, Pa! Hindi ako bingi. Kahit hindi ko sila gustong marinig wala akong magagawa. Alam ko na hindi mo siya gustong pag-usapan. Naiintindihan ko na hindi mo siya gustong maalala."
That's why, no matter how much I despise the situation or the things he does, I can't truly hate him.
"Hindi mo alam ang sinasabi mo."
"Do you know why I stayed at the mansion? Kahit ang lungkot? Kahit ang hirap mag-isa?"
"Stop," he said through gritted teeth.
"Because all I can remember from my father was the look in his eyes. Na kada makikita mo ko, wala akong ibang dala kundi sakit sa'yo. That's why I rather be alone than to keep hurting you. Kasi ako ang nagpapaalala sa'yo sa taong gusto mong kalimutan!"
"Enough!"
Nanatiling tuyo ang mga mata ko sa kabila ng rumaragasang emosyon na bumabalot sa akin. Hinila ko mula sa kaniya ang tingin ko at binalingan ko ang kapatid ko na tutop ang bibig niya habang nangingilid ang luha sa mga mata niya.
I don't hate her. At least our father has her.
She's lucky. When she was born, Papa was so happy. It was like the dark clouds lifted from the mansion and the sky became clear. I saw her in his arms, and he was smiling. It was the first time I'd seen him smile after my mother died. So I don't hate her. Because she gave him what I couldn't.
Ibinalik ko ang mga mata ko sa ama ko. "Narinig ko sa mga empleyado ang tungkol kay Mama. I don't know what's real and what's been exaggerated, but they know more than I do. We never talk about her. So I thought maybe... maybe there was some truth in it."
"This is not the time or place. We will talk about this at home."
I didn't stop. I held this in for years. I'm not going to hold back. Not again.
"She had an affair, and she left you. I remember hearing the people talk about a car accident, an affair, and the poor daughter who was left all alone. I was too young then, but I remember a few... glimpses of my time with her, with us three as a family... until we were not. I just woke up one day that she's gone and that everything has changed."
Kita ko ang pagtataas-baba ng dibdib niya. I loosened my grip on the table. Sa kabila ng panlalamig at panlalambot ay itinulak ko ang sarili ko patayo.
"I will get whatever I need from Dagger. You don't need to tell me anything."
For a moment, I saw a hint of panic in his eyes. It was as if he didn't want me to leave. That he didn't want me to leave on this note. Because I know he could hear the finality of every word I utter. "Stay. We'll clear this room out and we'll talk."
I shook my head and gave him a bitter smile. "It's been years, Pa. Ang daming pagkakataon para mag-usap tayo. Pero noon man hanggang ngayon, gusto mo pa rin siyang itago sa akin. After all these years, you still want me to be in the dark."
"She was my wife. Whatever she done, whatever her choices." Kumuyom ang mga kamay niya. "It wasn't as easy as you thought it would be to talk about her. I lost her. The woman that I thought I would be with for the rest of my life."
When I came here, I thought I would just tell him firmly about my decision to stay with Dagger. I didn't know that this would be the day that I would finally decide to choose me.
Pagod na pagod na akong kumbinsihin ang sarili ko na hindi ako malungkot. I'm tired of trying to convince myself that I am fine being on my own. And I'm tired of forcing myself to keep trying to be accepted by him.
"I also lost her, and in the process... I lost you too."
He looks like I struck him with what I said. I tore my gaze from him, and I glanced at the others for a second.
My stepbrother was looking at his hands, my half-sister was crying, and the man beside her was looking at her worriedly. But my stepmother has dropped all pretense and is staring at me with the hatred I've always suspected she harbors for me.
Gustuhin man niya na tuluyang makalimutan ni Papa ang ina ko ay hindi iyon mangyayari hanggang nabubuhay ako. My very existence is a reminder of her.
I looked back to my father. "He can protect me." It was the answer to what he said moments ago. "When he thought my life was in danger, when your wife did what she did... he used his own body to shield me."
Emmiliano Calderon, for once, couldn't find his voice to speak. Hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na sandaling manataling nakatingin sa kaniya. He will always be my father. But I'm done pretending that he would be the father that I sometimes remember. Dahil katulad ng sabi ko sa kaniya... matagal na siyang nawala sa akin.
I took a step backwards, and finally... I turned my back on them. Pero hindi pa man nakakalapit kay Trace na nanatiling tahimik at nakatayong naghihintay sa akin ay naramdaman ko ang presensiya ng dalawa pa niyang kapatid.
Gun's giving my family a look that could kill, but it was Thorn that approached me. Sa pagkagulat ko ay inilapat niya ang malaki niyang kamay sa ulo ko.
"Go home with Trace," he said gently. "Lia will cook dinner. Susunod kami sa inyo."
I bit the inside of my lower lip when I felt it quiver, and I nodded. Hindi ko na hinintay na abutin ni Trace ang kamay ko at sa halip ay ako na mismo ang gumawa niyon.
I felt his hand squeeze mine as we walked out of the room and to the elevators. Nang makapasok doon ay nananatili kaming tahimik habang mahigpit pa rin ako na nakahawak sa kaniya na para bang kailangan ko iyon para manatiling nakatayo. It was as if he were my lifeline, and I needed him to stop myself from falling apart.
Nang makarating sa parking ay pinagbuksan ako ng pintuan ni Trace. Kaagad akong pumasok doon at ilang sandali lang ay nakagawa niya na ring makaikot papunta sa driver's side. Inaasahan kong paaandarin niya na ang sasakyan nang buhayin niya ang makina, pero ilang sandali na ang lumipas ay hindi pa rin kami gumagalaw mula sa kinaroroonan namin.
I turned to him, and I found him looking at me. I didn't pull my gaze away, and the expression on his face softened. I know that he could see the distant and cold mask I have on.
"Princess..." Umangat ang kamay niya at inilapat niya iyon sa pisngi ko. "It's going to be okay. You'll be okay."
He didn't ask me if I was okay. Instead, he said that I would be. It was as if he was promising me that.
A strangled breath escaped my lips at the same time that a river of tears ran down my cheeks. I ground my teeth together, trying to hold it in, only to end up failing.
I know pain. I know how to hurt. But this was more than that. It was new, and yet I understood it.
For the first time... I'm learning how to grieve.
Sa mabilis na pagkilos ay natagpuan ko ang sarili ko na nasa kandungan ni Trace at nakapaloob sa mga bisig niya. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt while I buried my face on his chest.
"Never again," he whispered.
"I-I'm sorry. I'll.... I'll get it together in a minute."
His arms loosened, and for a moment I thought he was letting go. Pero hindi niya ako tuluyang pinakawalan. He just pulled one hand back so that he could use it to wipe away my tears.
"That's not what I meant, princess." He stared deeply into me in such a way that it was like he was reaching out a hand to the me that is currently drowning. "Never again where you need to lock everything inside you so that they wouldn't touch the people you want to defend them from."
"Trace..."
"Never again will you break alone."
His brother was right about him. He never hide. He always let his heart out exposed. I could easily hurt him. Me that have been hurting those around me even if I didn't want to.
I don't want that, but life doesn't always give definite answers. Hindi ko kayang masiguro na hindi namin magagawang saktan ang isa't isa. With him... it feels like he will keep every promise he will give me. Or at least try to. Promises always have their own way of shattering. When it detonates... who knows how catastrophic the damage would be?
It scares me... because I don't know if I could handle another loss. May it be of his own accord or because of fate's cruel hands... a part of me knows that walking away would hurt less than watching another person leave me again.
_________________________End of Chapter 16.