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"Aren't we all sinners?"
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The world was a tundra. An icy plane full of harsh and cruel conditions. Tainted by its people and warped into an infinite loop. A play for the one thing we all craved.
Power.
Like a drug, it kept you coming back for more. Searching for its cruel embrace to steal what you perceived to be yours. What your mind screamed at you to gain and receive. Destroy and rebuild. Conquer and steal.
My entire life I had clutched power in the hand. Had let it whisper its tainted words in my ears just as those around me did. I had fallen for it. Had heard their tarnished words so many times that eventually I believed them.
Honed into a weapon of destruction and divine violence. Sharpened into a glass sword so easily broken but not so easily escaped.
I became everything I hated.
I had been lost and been sought out. Abandoned and found again. My life had twisted and turned as though I had been thrown around in the wicked waters of a stormy ocean. Tossing me back and forth as their icy waves consumed me entirely.
I had run from what they made me. Separated what I wanted to be from what I truly was.
And yet in the back of my mind, I always knew,
I would always be their sword.
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The flight back home and winnowing to Velaris was filled with an all-consuming silence that forced me to face everything that had transpired within the chateau.
The queens. Their refusal. Our damnation.
And the fact that it was all my fault.
If I had just contained my temper even an inch, hadn't blatantly threatened them we could have the Book in our grip right now. Could be well on our way to winning this war. But we weren't because of me.
Amren was waiting in the townhouse when we returned, swirling a wine glass just as she usually did as she draped herself across an armchair. The ancient one's clothes were rumpled, face unnervingly pale in a way that told me she had been so consumed in her work that she hadn't had food. I made a note to get her blood as soon as I could.
Rather than gather in the sitting room, Rhys stuffed his hands in the pockets of his midnight suit and strolled out past the kitchen and toward the courtyard in the back.
Each of us started off after him, our gaze's lingering on the High Lord as he stopped just beyond the door. We all noticed the silence radiating from him—like the calm before a storm.
"It went well, I take it." Amren remarked, sliding up from her chair in a way that made me notice the ancient feeling to her.
The High Lord walked further, sitting himself on the rim of the fountain as the sun poured down on him. It skittered across his skin, lighting his features in a way that highlighted his thoughts for me to see. His burdens. Rhysand's forearms were braced on his knees, leaning down as he stared at the fresh green grass below him.
We all found our way to the white-painted iron chairs near him. Sitting down silently.
"If you're here to brood, Rhys," Amren said from her perch on a small bench. "Then just say so and let me get back to work."
Violet eyes lifted to her. Cold and humorless. I found myself wanting to fix that more than I should. "The humans wish for proof of our good intentions. That we could be trusted."
Amren's attention slipped to me, "Danika was not enough?"
"She is more than enough." Rhys said with a deadly calm. A pleasing, yet very false statement. I was not enough in that aspect. Had let my temper get the best of me and cut away our chances with the queens.
The High Lord's eyes snapped to mine; his eyes narrowed in a scowl. I snapped my shields up, realizing they had been down in the first place. I leaned back in my chair, my body loose and nonchalant.
"They're fools." he sighed, "Worse—frightened fools." Again, he studied the ground.
Cassian suggested, "We could...depose them. Get newer, smarter queens on their thrones. Who might be more willing to bargain."
Rhys shook his head, "One, it'd take too long. We don't have that time." With the amount of time Azriel had spent trying and failing to infiltrate their Court as a spy of the High Lord, I doubted an assassin would be able to. "Two," The High Lord continued, "who knows if that would somehow impact the magic of their half of the Book. It must be given freely. It's possible the magic is strong enough to see our scheming." he sucked on a tooth. "We are stuck with them."
"We could try again," Mor said, "let me speak to them. Let me go to their palace."
"No." Azriel said immediately. Mor raised her brows, as a faint color stained Azriel's cheeks. "They would string you up and make an example of you."
"They'd have to catch me first."
"That palace is a death trap for our kind," The shadowsinger countered, his voice low and rough. "Built by Fae hands to protect the humans from us. You set foot inside, Mor, and you won't walk out again. Why do you think we've had such trouble getting a foothold in there?"
I sat up in my seat, clasping my hands in front of me. "If going into their territory isn't an option...What proof can be offered?" My voice was tired. Exhausted. "What about Miryam and Drakon? They could vogue for us, correct?"
Rhys had explained their story to me during one of our many magic lessons. About Miryam's escape, Jurian, Prince Drakon, faking their deaths. All of it.
Rhys's head lifted, eyes clashing with mine. "In addition to it not proving a thing about my character, which seemed to be their biggest gripe, it would be a grave betrayal of our friends. Their only wish was to remain hidden—to live in peace with their peoples. They fought and bled and suffered enough for it. I will not bring them into this conflict."
"Drakon's aerial army," Cassian cut in, "was good as ours. We might need to call upon him by the end."
Rhys merely shook his head. Conversation over.
"So what do we offer them instead?" I questioned with a soft sigh. Eyes drooping slightly. "What do we show them?"
Rhys's face was bleak, "We show them Velaris."
My heart stopped in my chest. My blood stopped pumping entirely.
"What?" Mor exclaimed as I simultaneously said, "You can't be serious." Amren shushed us both.
Mor spoke again with a pointed glare to Amren, "You can't mean to bring them here."
"Of course not. The risks are too great, entertaining them for even a night would likely result in bloodshed." Rhys said. "So, I plan to merely show them."
"They'll dismiss it as mind tricks." Azriel countered.
"No," The High Lord said, getting to his feet. "I mean to show them—playing by their own rules."
Amren clicked her nails against each other, "What do you mean?"
But Rhys only said to Mor, "Send word to your father. We're going to pay him and my other court a visit."
The Court of Nightmares.
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The Veritas. An orb that had belonged to Mor's family for millennia. It was rife with the truth magic she claimed to possess—that many in her bloodline also bore. And the Veritas was one of their most prized possessions.
Rhys had wasted no time planning for the Court, busied with his plotting. I had scarcely seen him in the past two days. I had occupied myself with other things as well.
Even tried going into town by myself once. And then promptly ran away when I heard a glimmer of music from a street corner. Instead opting to make myself a warm cup of hot chocolate at home and read.
My soft steps were muffled as I descended the stairs, sipping from my cup as I slowly shut my book. The chapter ending and leaving me more hooked than ever before.
My eyes caught on something in the foyer, and I arched a brow, watching Rhysand as he leaned against the stair banisters. His features grim. I halted on the last step, taking that final descent into the room and looking at him curiously.
"What's wrong?" I questioned, setting the book on a small table near the stairs before I took another hesitant step toward him.
He stared at me; the violet depths of his eyes boring into my own in a way that made me contemplate my life in its entirety. I could have sworn his throat bobbed as he confessed, "I'm debating asking you to stay tomorrow."
I raised a brow, "I thought I was going?" I asked, silently pleading for him to not leave me here, not to shove me aside.
Rhys ran a hand through his tousled hair. His eyes dark and haunted. "What I have to be tomorrow, who I have to become...it's not something I want you to see. How I will treat others..."
Understanding. The feeling washed through my veins. I understood so much more than he knew.
Kindred souls walking parallel paths.
I had lost count of the masks I had donned in my years of existence. The parts I played. Schemes I headed.
I had been cruel and merciless at the behest of those around me. And yet in my heart I had hated it all. Had wished that for once I could be free from the invisible shackles that had been placed on my wrists and rid myself of the different people lost in my mind. My different selfs.
I stared, taking another step toward Rhys with a soft gaze. Not one of pity of sympathy, but a simple kindness. "Why don't you want me to see that?" I asked, right in front of him now.
"Because you've just only started to look at me like I'm not a monster, and I can't stomach the idea of anything you see tomorrow, being beneath that mountain, putting you back into that place where I found you."
My lips tilted up, "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not so easily broken."
He chuckled. A dark breathy sound as his eyes darted away for a moment before coming back to mine. "Believe me, I know." he sighed another breath, "The role you will have to play is not a pleasant one."
I snorted, a small snicker escaping my mouth. "Believe me, Rhys, I've played worse." He arched a brow in question. I rolled my eyes. "I spent the glory years of my childhood being sold like a broodmare to do things much worse than this. I'm fine." I sarcastically though the words were true.
For a moment I paused, looking him up and down with a knowing eye. I met his gaze again. "I know it's a mask. And I know how to separate you from the part you have to play." I inhaled a deep breath. Saying words, I did not think I would ever utter from my mouth. "I trust you."
He crooked his head right back, "You trust me?" the question genuine.
A gulp. "I trust you." I straightened my spine, drawing back my shoulders with a deep breath. "Now tell me what I have to do tomorrow."
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