[I do not own the fanart linked above.]
[Hyunjin]
It was snowing today and despite all the atudents living on school grounds. The headmistress cancelled all classes for today. Giving us our own little day.
I wasn't mad, I'd much rather be at home in my own room. I haven't painted in a while.
The snow came down lightly outside my bedroom window, a dim grey lighting filling my dark room. It was barely 8 am and I was wide awake.
On the other side of my bedroom wall was the sound of footsteps that belong to Cheongsan. But he was always a morning person.
I grabbed a random canvas from the top of my closet. I guess I was painting big this morning. I propped it up on my easel and dragged my bucket of paints over. Organizing my brushes by size, and gathering my extra materials.
All while doing so I tried to visualize what I want the canvas to look like. What scene I wanted it to hold and portray.
As I sat my little stool I had previously tucked away in a corner, I stared at the blank white of the canvas. Then my gaze fell out the window. The sparkly look of the snow covering the ground and sticking. The frost coating the limbs of every tree. A wind blowing harsh enough you could hear it, but soft enough to look calm. The white fluffy looking winter.
I mixed a up frost white, gathered dark browns. Coating the ends of damp brushes with the colors as I lathered them across the surface. Strands on my hair kept falling in my vision, so I held the handle of the brush between my teeth as I clipped my hair back.
Though the scene was a mostly white, i tried to perfect it to how it looked outside my window. With bluey-whites and light greys, the oaky wood. I only paused every now and again to try and mix the perfect shade and to rinse a brush I needed to reuse.
By the time I had finished the main concept it was nearly eleven. But I didn't leave my room of eating stand from my stool, because something was missing.
I felt arms snake around my waist and a chin rest upon my shoulder. "Good morning, baby."
Jeongin's sleepy voice rang in my ears and I smiled, slightly leaning into him.
"Good morning."
"The painting looks beautiful. As your work always does."
"Yea, but it's missing something." I frowned and Jeongin hugged me tighter with a hum as if he was trying to help me think.
"Maybe a pop of a bright color. A color that you haven't used or mixed in? Like a purple.. or a red?"
"Red sounds better." I nodded and pulled out my scarlet red paint. I bit the end on my brush, contemplating. Too much and it would through the whole painting off, too little and it will still be so bland.
Jeongin unclipped my hair and starting combing his fingers through it, massaging my scalp, playing with the strands and curling them around his fingers.
"You look really nice with longer hair." He admitted with a sweet tone.
"I've been meaning to get a hair cut." I whispered as an idea came to me for the pop of color. "But I won't if you like it like this."
"I like it either way, lovey." Jeongin kisses the top of my head and I felt myself instinctively tilt my head back. I looked at his face that held a smile and he then kissed my forehead.
Too finish off the painting I added the detail of a long red scarf, looping around and blowing away in the wind.
"That's a lot better." I spoke aloud and Jeongin chuckled.
"Indeed. Have you eaten yet? Let's go get you some food." He asked dragging my from my chair as I dunked my brush in the cup of water.
"Huening Kai and Jisung want to come over." He said immediately when we entered the kitchen. "They want to goof around in the snow."
"I wouldn't mind." I shrugged and Jeongin started digging through our cabinets, setting out bowls. I watched as he made us both breakfast.
"So are you and Hyuka... okay now?" He asked, with a slow tone as if questioning whether or not he should've asked.
"Yea, I suppose we are. We are going to try to be friends at least. For your sake." I smiled and he returned it, scarfing down his food as if it was the first thing he's eaten in a week.
He pulled his phone out of the pocket of his sweats and I heard the swoop of an outgoing message.
"Do you think Felix is awake yet?" I asked.
"Probably. You gotta remember who he shares a dorm with." Jeongin chuckled. "If Hisung is up already, then his hyper ass would've woke Felix up by now."
"Good point."
After finishing up my breakfast, I stood and began washing my bowl. Jeongin joined at my side, his hand on my back.
"Do you think it would be still too aoon, or uncomfortable for Felix if we asked him to join our relationship?" He was quiet about his question. It was a question I didn't necessarily have the answer too.
"I don't know, I guess I could talk to him about it."
"I just fear him slipping away. I don't want him to just.."
"I know, Innie." Dispute my hand hands being wet from rinsing them off, I touched his cheek to comfort him and a gave him a small peck on his nose.
He smiled at me, slightly distracted by my eyes so I snuck his bowl from the counter and began washing it. When he noticed he smacked me on the shoulder. I couldn't help but laugh.
His phone dinged.
"They will be here in a little bit, Jisung is dragging Felix along." Jeongin looked up at me. So I guess I'll have to talk to him a little sooner than I anticipated, what the hell am I supposed to say?
Jeongin dried to bowls and put them away as I raced upstairs to get dressed. They wanted to play around in the snow today, so I have to dress for the occasion.
As I entered the second floor, I could hear my ringtone going off. I raced into the room to answer it. Barely seeing Heeseung's caller ID as I did.
"Hi Seung!" I exclaimed, excited to hear from him.
"Hey! Sorry it's been so long, school got hectic after break. Especially with me being on the basketball team."
"No i understand. It's been... odd.. for me too." I said as I rummaged through my closet.
"I wanted to call and apologize about spring break." He sounded guilty, as if it was his fault at all.
"You don't need to, it's not like you can help it Heeseung." I assured him but I only heard a sigh in return.
I put him on speaker and laid out my clothes. "What is it Seung?"
"I just, as my best friend I already wanted to be everywhere you were... but now that I know you're my brother, I want that 10x more. Wishing to be at the same school, wishing we could go on the same vacations together. You know?"
"I know, but this spring break.. it's not really a vacation for you."
"It would be if you could come with." He sighed again. "I miss you."
"I miss you too, but hey, after spring break is summer vacation. You'll have me almost to yourself for two months."
"Why almost?"
"Jeongin and Felix."
"Oh yea, your love triangle turned threesome." Heeseung snorted and I wish I could hit him upside the head.
"We're here!" I heard Jisung yell from downstairs.
"I hear you have company." I knew he was about to hang up.
"Yea." I frowned, thankfully he couldn't see it.
"I need to get back to class anyway. I miss you."
"I miss you too bub." I picked up my phone.
"Okay, love you bye."
"Love you, bye."
As he hung up, I tossed my phone into my bed and began changing into the weather appropriate clothing. Wool sweater with a long sleeve underneath and Jeans with thermals.
I rushed downstairs to be greeted by Jisung and Huening Kai first. They looked at bundled up and cozy. Jeongin was indulging in conversation with Huening Kai as Jisung stood by and listened.
Felix stood in walkway, staring at me with a smile. His all black outfit, except for his scarf. Long and bright red, only wrapped once around his neck. Each end dangling down to meet the bottom of his trench coat.
"Hey." He said, stepping further into the room, flashing his attention at Jeongin for a second to give him a smile. I snaked my arms into his coat and around his waist.
Jeongin joined the hug for a minute before telling us he was going to change upstairs. Cheongsan came down as Jeongin was passing up. Probably because he was hearing extra people in the house.
"What's going on?" He asked, confused.
"Those two wanted to play in the snow." Felix jerked his thumb at the couple besides us.
"Oh, well you guys can start up the fire pit if you need to. I have no doubt it's freezing." He said, stepping down the rest of the stairs.
"It is." Felix admitted as he joined his friend heading into the kitchen.
"Well, I guess we are just waiting on Jeongin now?" Jisung asked and I nodded.
——
We had ended up around the fire pit, Jisung however was still helping his boyfriend built a snowman.
Jeongin was curled up with a blanket, the bottom half draped of Felix's legs. The wind didn't help the chill. I didn't understand how Jisung and Huening Kai could handle this cold.
"I'm going inside to make hot chocolate." Jeongin said, standing up and handing the blanket to Felix. He kiss his head of blonde before coming over to me and planting a kiss on my cheek. "Ask him please."
I nodded and held onto his hand until he was out of reach.
"Walk with me?" I asked Felix and he nodded. I informed Jisung what we were doing and he waved us off.
We started off to the side of the house, taking slow steps. I was contemplating how to word this.
As if he could tell I was struggling with my thoughts, he reached out and grabbed my hands warning them with his own.
"Do you not own gloves?" He asked.
"I do, I just forgot them in Seoul." I said with a shy smile.
"Ah." He nodded, "so why are we walking?"
I took a deep breath. "Well, we've been meaning to ask you.. or well, talk to you about whether or not you're ready for.." the wind picked up and it sent chills all over.
"Here." Felix unwrapped his scarf from his neck and went to hand it to me, but the wind picked up and snatched it from his hands. It carried only a few feet before it got caught on a low hanging branch. He retrieved it and wrapped it around my neck. "If we are gonna have a talk, can we do it inside? Where it's warm?"
"Yes please." I chuckled and we quickly jogged back inside. Removing our snow covered shoes and leaving them on the porch. Coats came off, hats, scarf. Cheongsan and Jeongin were on the couch chatting as Jeongin sipped from a steaming cup of hot cocoa.
Jisung came in from the back porch, followed by Hyuka. "Our snowman is done. It's as tall as this blonde boy here." He pointed at his boyfriend with his thumb and laughed.
I laughed with them and my gaze fell on Jeongin who looked back and forth between Felix and I. I nodded to him and dragged Felix upstairs.
"So what's this about, Hyunjin?" He asked as I shut my bedroom door behind him.
"Us. All of us." I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you ever gonna be ready to be with us Felix? Like officially, publically. Will you ever.."
"Maybe.. but I'm not now." He interrupted me, clearly uncomfortable with my question.
"Okay. Okay." I sighed, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I'm sorry. I should've known that. I mainly asked for Jeongin." I admitted to him.
He stood there just staring down at me, his face unreadable. Hands at his sides.
"It hurts you, doesn't it?"
"What does?"
"To wait for me." He asked, face still blank as if he doesn't want me to tell how he's feeling.
"No.. Felix, no it doesn't." I stood and grabbed his hands. "I think we are both just... impatient. If anything that's unfair to you."
"You kind of have a right to be impatient by now." He said moving around me and sitting us both down on my bed.
"Maybe, but I'm not gonna force into something if you aren't quite comfortable with the idea yet. You haven't been in a solid relationship before Felix. I'm giving you some slack."
He nodded and looked at me. His hand raising to my cheek as he soft brushed his fingers over my skin and my bottom lip.
"Can I just.. hear you say it?" He asked. "I like hearing you say it."
"Say what?" I asked and then it clicked when he locked eyes with me. "Oh."
I smiled and leaned my forehead to his. He sighed awaiting those four words.
"I love you, Felix."
I felt him take a breath in before kissing me softly.
"I don't expect you to say anything in return, not until your ready." I assured him when he pulled away.
"I'm trying for you two. I really am." He spoke and I nodded, holding onto him tightly before he pushed my back to the bed. He hovered over me, his hand not once leaving my jaw as he tried to make his actions tell me how he felt.
And I could feel it.
Maybe he couldn't tell me he loved me yet.
But I knew he did.
————
[A/N]
EARLY PUBLISH!
Specifically for my gorgeous daughter who is turning 16 today! Ash_Mochi007
I love you honey! I'm dedicating this chapter specifically to you! Happy birthday beautiful! Thank you for being such a kind hearted daughter and always giving me such inspiration! You are my light! And you are growing up so fast 🥲 but I'm proud of you!
Now for everyone reading this I hope you having an amazing day! Happy December! I hope you guys are all doing okay, mentally, physically, all of the possible options!
Please take care of yourselves! Make sure to eat and stay hydrated! Treat yourselves once in a while, self care and self indulgence is important!
I love you guys and wish you the best!
Til my next update!
Love,
Cece 🤍