Chloe held on to Trixie tightly. "You took the children?"
"I came to earth to start my own family. I knew my sons weren't candidates anymore but I did try," Lilith explained solemnly.
"So you stole other people's children? Do you know how much worry and anxiety these people are going through thinking that their babies are dead?" Chloe asked exasperated.
"Asmo and I came to earth together after he freed me. We acquired this house. We were going to be a family he brought me, children because he knew it would make me happy. He revealed his true plan then for us to rule the earth and all humans -- it wasn't my plan. I cut ties with him. The children are happy with me." She looked at Trixie. "Trixie, you enjoyed playing on the carousel with the other children, didn't you? And you enjoyed eating the chocolate cake I baked? Yes?"
"It was a lot of fun. Mommy, don't be mad," Trixie piped up.
Chloe swallowed hard. "Maze, Amenadiel would you please take Trixie and the children to the park at the river? I'll call Dan to meet you there."
They looked warily at her and Lucifer, she could tell they didn't want to leave but Maze gave a curt nod and they rounded up the children who waved at Lilith and blew her kisses. She smiled tearfully and blew kisses back.
Once they had all left they focused on Lilith.
"So you wanted to create a new family? Really? Last time you took children you killed them all," Lucifer accused.
Chloe asked pointedly, "Did you kill that little boy down by the river?"
"I was angry at Lucifer, the rage overwhelmed me. Asmo was trying to make amends he brought him. That child remained me of how Lucifer would have looked if he had been a child instead of being created as already grown. I lost my control," Lilith confirmed.
Chloe inhaled sharply. "You shoved a piano key down the child's throat suffocating him!"
Lilith stood tall and indignant. "I wasn't thinking clearly. I only lost control for a moment then immediately regretted it."
Horror curled in Chloe's stomach.
Lucifer scoffed. "That sounds familiar."
"Aren't you at least the tiniest bit grateful that you have your wings back?" Lilith softly asked her son.
"How can you ask me that after you took the choice away from me? How do you think I felt being forcibly held down -- again," he snarled his voice cracking on the last word.
"And because of that you won against Asmo!" she snapped frustrated but then softened her tone and pleaded. "I was trying to make up for all that I had done. Without them Chloe, Maze, and Meni would have all been dead -- your ego would have caused their deaths. You don't have to forgive me but at least acknowledge that I am trying to compensate as best as I can for what I did to you."
Chloe realized that Lilith was sick. A part of her acted normal but the other part had no normal compass between right and wrong. She had given Lucifer wings but by the sounds of it forced them on him, she had taken good care of the stolen children but she had raped her son to get revenge, she killed the little boy because she was mad at Lucifer. There was no telling what she would do -- she was unpredictable. She glanced over at Lucifer, her heart aching at the sight of him. He was exhausted before all of this but now he was starkly pale -- she was amazed that he was even still upright. His wings had disappeared somehow into his back. The scars were gone. Trails of rapidly drying blood ran down his bare chest. His eyes were wild and wounded. It hurt just looking at him.
Amenadiel suddenly appeared setting Maze down beside him and informing Chloe. "Don't worry, Trixie and the other children are safe."
"Thank you," she acknowledged gratefully.
"All those escaped souls that went on a killing spree -- apparently in my honor; did you have something to do with those as well?" Lucifer snarled at his mother.
"No, that was Asmo acting on my behalf without my knowledge. I confess all I wanted at first was revenge and sometimes I still feel like it's there bubbling in me just under my skin but rationally I put it aside I wanted family more."
Lucifer looked at his brother. "She killed the child down by the river because she was pissed at me."
Amenadiel looked sorrowfully at his mother. "How could you do what you did to Lucifer?"
She stepped closer - the madness has temporarily gone. She caught Lucifer off guard as she cupped his cheek.
Chloe's breath caught in her throat -- she had never seen Lucifer look so vulnerable. It was almost like he was transfixed for a moment.
Lilith shook her head. "I don't know. I can't take it back or change it. Sometimes the rage is just too consuming. I never meant to hurt you. You won't believe this but I love you, both of you. I drugged you so heavily you were never supposed to know. I wanted your father to suffer - never you. I had no idea he would do what he did and cast you out and make you rule hell for all eternity."
Lucifer snapped out of the moment and stumbled as he violently pulled out of her grasp.
She laughed suddenly. "I know this can't end well. You are going to send me back to hell now aren't you, son? You wanted to before but something held you back. I hope that something was lingering memories of what our life was before I destroyed it. The three of us were a family and we had some wonderful times. Believe it or not, I cherish those."
Amenadiel nodded. "We had some memorable times; I wish they could have gone on."
She smiled warmly. "I do too. You are my sons, you are my family and no matter what you think of me, I am your mother and underneath all of this madness you are the two beings I care about most." She looked at Chloe. "Chloe, you were the first human I met that I truly liked and you have a wonderful daughter -- I only took her to protect her as you and Trixie were next on Asmo's list to harm to torture Lucifer. Maze, when I put you in charge of protecting my son I couldn't have picked a better demon. Chloe and Maze I find peace in the fact that you will take care of my boys."
She closed her eyes and lifted her hands in prayer.
Amenadiel and Lucifer looked at each other puzzled.
Tears were in her eyes when she opened them again as she dropped her hands. "Lucifer, I want to spare you the burden of sending me back to hell, I've caused you enough pain. I do not want to return to hell and the possibility would always exist that I could escape again. I have asked your father to end my existence. He is the only one who can extinguish me permanently." She suddenly stumbled as tears streamed down her face. She placed a kiss on both her hand and blew it to each of them as she fell to her knees. Amenadiel raced over catching her before she hit the ground. His anguished cry of "mom" echoed through the clearing as her body went limp. Maze ran over to him.
Lucifer swallowed heavily, he felt numb. The whole scene was surreal. She was gone, truly gone. He had wanted her gone once he found out the truth but ... he inhaled sharply. He realized the detective was tugging at his arm.
"You should say goodbye," she advised him softly.
"No! I'm glad she's gone. I was done with her a long time ago," he responded almost hysterically as he pulled away from her.
Chloe didn't believe him. She knew him well enough to know his walls were up, lined with barbed wire and explosives. It was pointless right now to try and crack them.
"Okay," she said to calm him. "Let me just tell Amenadiel and Maze that we are going, and we can walk back to the car," she told him but doubted that he had even heard, he was staring up at the sky.
Maze looked more upset, as she looked at the grieving angel than she had ever seen her. Perhaps the demon like the devil was also developing human emotions. Amenadiel held his mother's body in his arms, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks. Chloe knelt beside him putting her hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I know that despite everything she did she was still your mother, and in her way she loved you. I wish it hadn't ended this way," she told him quietly.
The angel's breath hitched as he responded hoarsely, "thank you". He sniffed and turned his head to look at his brother. "Luci's not going to come over here is he?"
"He's in shock, too numb to think straight," Chloe explained softly as she squeezed the angel's shoulder one more time before getting up. Maze looked at her slightly jerking her head in Lucifer's direction. Chloe nodded in understanding.
"We're going to take the car. Can you two fly back?" Chloe asked quietly.
Maze answered. "Don't worry about us; I'll take care of him...and things."
"I have to call it in so this place will be swarming with cops shortly," Chloe warned.
Maze replied cockily. "I have it under control."
Chloe went back to Lucifer suppressing the urge to touch him. "Ready to go home?"
He inhaled sharply. "Yours or mine?"
"Let's do mine, I can fix a bite to eat."
He unexpectedly smirked. "Add a drink to that and I'll be a happy devil."
They didn't talk on the walk back to the car or the drive back to Chloe's house, both lost in their thoughts. Chloe called Dan who naturally had a lot of questions. She was vague saying they found the children by the missing carousel and apparently someone had taken good care of them but that the woman had now vanished. She shuddered to think of forensics hitting the scene in the forest with all the body parts and fluids and unearthly creatures strewn about but she remembered Maze saying she'd take care of things maybe the forest cleanup was one of those. She wondered what Amenadiel would do with Lilith's body. It bothered her that Lucifer didn't say goodbye -- she understood why but she had an awful feeling it would haunt him. She hoped she was wrong.
Dan's car was at the beach house when they arrived. He hugged her as they entered. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm just beyond relieved we have our daughter back." She hugged Trixie tightly peppering her face with kisses.
"What happened to you?" Dan asked looking at Lucifer who had stopped to change clothes at Lux on their way back. The bruises and scratches on his face and neck were still visible.
He looked up as if seeing Dan for the first time. "Hmm? Oh, nothing to worry about just a slight scuffle."
Dan looked at Lucifer suspiciously then whispered to Chloe, "Is he okay?"
"He just needs some rest," she whispered back.
"Okay then, I better get to the scene. Are you all going to be all right?" he asked Chloe but peered worriedly at Lucifer who had sat down on the sofa and stared vacantly into space.
"Thanks, Dan. We'll be fine. I need to get Trixie to bed it's almost two in the morning."
"Good night Trix, sweet dreams - love you lots," Dan hugged his daughter.
"Love you too, daddy."
Lucifer was in another world; Chloe realized the trauma of the last two days was hitting him hard. She busied herself making soup keeping a sharp eye on Trixie, who was still far too wired to go to bed. Chloe didn't want Lucifer to be harassed tonight.
Trixie sat down beside her second favorite boy; her first being her daddy but Lucifer was a very close second. She could tell something was different. Both her mom and Lucifer were quiet and seemed to be upset but mostly Lucifer. She sat down beside him looking at him with worried eyes. "Are you feeling sick?"
Lucifer suddenly realized the detective's spawn was sitting beside him. "I didn't catch that?"
"Are you feeling sick?" she asked again looking concerned.
"No no, I'm fine," he responded his voice hoarse as he took a shaky breath.
Trixie frowned. "You look like you are going to cry?"
He shook his dark head, "I don't cry."
"That's because you are a boy and boys are always trying to be tough. Mommy says sometimes we need to cry, if something hurt us or made us sad it's better to cry than to keep it inside."
He took another shaky breath, blinking rapidly. Sometimes the spawn sounded almost like Linda.
Suddenly two small arms wrapped themselves around his neck as the child whispered in his ears. "It's okay, mommy and I love you."
If falling into hell wasn't bad enough this was easily the second incantation of it. His throat had some sort of blockage in it and his chest hurt so much it was hard to breathe. He took another ragged breath and helplessly patted the spawn's back not knowing what else to do.
"Okay monkey finish up your hug and get to bed." The detective's voice came from nearby.
Trixie gave him one more light squeeze and a kiss on the cheek and left easing the weight in his chest a bit.
He could hear the detective tuck her in. That's what a mother was supposed to do, he thought.
"Lucifer is going to cry," Trixie whispered to her mother.
Chloe scoffed. He was upset but he always proclaimed he wasn't one for the feels. She frowned remembering the only time he did after waking from that nightmare. He had been horrified - disgusted really. He tended to look at others' tears with disdain. When he had told Linda about the fall there hadn't been any tears from Lucifer. Even when sitting at Dr. Linda's bedside he had held it together. He had proven time and time again he wasn't in touch with his emotions. She shook her head. "No, I don't think so monkey, Lucifer deals with things differently than we do."
Trixie shook her head. "Uh uh, hug him when he does - as you do with me when I'm sad," her little munchkin told her with wide worried eyes.
She kissed her on the nose. "Okay, I promise, now go to sleep."
She closed the door to Trixie's room and looked at Lucifer who was still immobile on the sofa. "You okay?"
"Right as rain, Detective," he chirped back.
She studied him for a moment; he looked at her biting his lower lip. She could see why Trixie thought as she did. He reminded her of Trixie when she was trying hard to be brave. He looked heart-wrenchingly vulnerable at that moment. She wanted to hold him, kiss him even make love to him -- anything to take away or at least distract him from the hurt in his eyes. But the wildness was also present, and the walls she had suspected like the wild wounded animal he was at times he would bolt for the door.
So she went back to the kitchen and started taking out two bowls for the soup when suddenly Lucifer got up and without a word headed out the back door to the beach. She exhaled loudly; she had called it,
Worried she turned off the oven and peered out the door.
He stood by the water just barely out of reach of the dark waves. The moon was still out but clouds were rolling in and the rumble of thunder echoed in the distance.
He looked up at the skies. "Why! Why do you feel the need to continually punish me? It's almost like you want me to be evil as you condemned me to be -- but I'm not! And no matter how much you try and break me -- you can't make me that way you cruel unrelenting tyrant!"
He took a deep breath before continuing. "Your actions turned mum into a monster but even she in all her madness came through for me tonight in her final moments. Even after what she did she..." he laughed hysterically. "She turned out to be the better parent! And Linda! What did she ever do but try and help me now she's fighting for her life. Don't you dare try and claim her -- she's not yours to take yet!" He fell to the sand wheezing as the enormous weight in his chest choked off the air in his lungs.
In the light from the patio, Chloe could see he was trembling. He may balk he may run but there was no way she was letting him go through this trauma alone. She grabbed her keys and made sure all the doors and windows were locked so Trixie was safe, and then trudged out onto the sand. She sat down beside him putting her hand on his back. He made a choking noise and immediately pulled back lifting his head, "Don't!" he said panicked. His face was pale and strained, his jaw clenched tightly but his eyes, but his eyes shimmered with agony, ripping her heart open as she whispered "Lucifer".
Her whispering his name cracked the wall inside him, and he came undone. He took a shuddering breath as his eyes filled with tears before they spilled over he all but collapsed onto her lap, his head on her thigh as his arm and hands wrapped themselves around her knee. His shoulders shook but he made no sound until her hands came to rest in his hair and on his back. Her fingers threaded softly through his short black strands while her other hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. Her touch unhinged him and more cracks like tiny white lines developed along the wall. At that moment the fallen angel broke.
Words, touches, looks, and moments swirled through his head until he thought he'd go mad; Linda's bleeding body cradled in his arms. Linda whispered his name as blood trickled out of her mouth, Asmo hold the detective and ran his hands down her body, his mother restraining him forcibly on the ground as she recreated his wings, the pain, and agony, her touch on his cheek, her sparing him from having to send her back to hell, her body collapsing into Amenadiel's arms and the look in the detective's eyes as she whispered his name. His body shook violently when wracking sobs burst through and he gasped helplessly trying to get air into his lungs. Chloe swallowed hard trying to dislodge the tightness in her own throat as tears dripped down her cheeks. She didn't say anything; there was nothing to say that would ease his suffering. She just let him cry as her touch tried to comfort him.
No matter how hard he fought for control the tears just kept coming dripping down his face onto the detective's thigh. He gave up the fight and hung on to her knee for dear life as if she was a lifeline in the dark abyss that threatened to swallow him alive. It seemed like forever in his mind until he was able to take a ragged breath then another and was finally able to let go of her knee and wipe his face as he pulled himself out of her lap. When he gathered enough nerve to look at her, he saw the tears on her cheeks. She immediately pulled him to her in a tight embrace and choked out, "It's okay." Hot tears trickled down her neck as he took one shaky breath after another.
The skies opened and the downpour hit them. She knew she needed to get him inside and keep him warm to get the shock to ease but she didn't want to force him. She held him tightly until he exhaled loudly and started to pull away. In response, she got to her feet and held out her hand to get him to his feet. He didn't react so she reached down grabbing him by the elbow. He finally got to his feet as she led him back inside. She ran upstairs and grabbed towels and quickly dried her hair off then his. He stood frozen as if all conscious life had temporarily left him. His gaze focused on the floor as rivulets of water or tears, she wasn't sure which, ran down his face. He seemed to have zero inclination to remove his dripping clothes so she slid off his jacket, and then unbuttoned his shirt and lastly his pants.
His boxers seemed for the most part still dry so she led him to the bed and coaxed him to kick his shoes off and lie down. Like a sleepy trusting child, he obeyed and sank onto the mattress. She pulled the blankets over him. He was cold as ice so she dug around in the cupboards till she found a hot water bottle; filling it so that it was warm to the touch she tucked it in at his feet.
He was too far gone for her to try to get him to eat the soup so she changed and climbed into bed. He lay on his side facing her, his eyes were closed but she wasn't sure if he was asleep. She wanted to hold him, comfort him, ease him into sleep but wasn't sure if she would welcome it or pull away. So she turned off the light and lay down wondering if sleep would ever come to her tonight. Tears filled her eyes at the thought that Trixie could easily have been killed. Asmo and all the creatures he had conjured were the stuff of nightmares not of reality yet it had all been real. Lilith despite every horrible thing she had done -- had felt sorry for her at the end. To be torn away from her children because she had wanted free will hadn't been fair. She had overheard every word Lucifer had shouted at his father on the beach -- Lilith had come through for him at the end. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how Lucifer felt at this point. Somehow despite the rampaging thoughts in her head exhaustion won out she must have drifted off to sleep. She woke at some point as it started getting light outside and realized Lucifer had moved closer to her. Like a lover, he was half draped over her. He was dead to the world, sleeping on his stomach, one leg somehow underneath hers, his arm over her stomach, his head nuzzled into her neck, his breath softly fanning her shoulder. She turned her head slightly resting it against the dark hair and softly dropping a kiss on his forehead. His black lashes sleepily opened as he lifted his head and looked at her groggily.
"Morning," she whispered.
He grinned briefly realizing how close he was and slowly entangled his limbs with hers.
"How are you feeling," she asked softly.
"Amorous, Detective how are you?" he purred.
She sat up leaning closer to him and softly brushed her lips over his. Her actions did not have the desired effect she had intended. He pulled back his eyes hardening and glinting angrily.
"The devil doesn't need pity," he spat.
"That's not what this is," she whispered. "Look Lucifer things have been ch..."
He cut her off. "I realize I lost control last night and came across like a weepy child or something and you felt sorry for me, sorry enough to try to...." He made a disgruntled noise deep in his throat. "I don't want your pity!" He got out of bed and almost in a frenzy started to put his clothes on.
Chloe huffed realizing her instinctive move had been wrong. Her timing to try to convey how her feelings for him changed couldn't have been more off and now that she was wider awake she realized that.
"Don't go, I'm sorry," she said trying to calm him, after everything that happened the last thing she wanted to do was upset him further.
He stopped for a moment regarding her warily. "I'm fine detective, I need to go. I..." he swallowed heavily opened his mouth to say something else, closed it again then concentrated on buttoning his shirt, his hands shaking slightly. He inhaled sharply but didn't look at her. "I thank you for taking care of me last night; I lost control it won't happen again." With that, he rushed out of her front door and seconds later she heard him driving away. Exasperated she flopped down against the pillows. What had just happened?