Chapter 43: Trust Me
My chest tightens with sadness at seeing this sorrowful contradiction of the cocky and flirtatious high-schooler that never seemed to grow up.
Other than him, the room is empty. I'm assuming that he's already seen her and that they've moved her now, allowing him his space.
I cautiously approach him. When he doesn't make any move to acknowledge me, I slide down the wall and take a seat beside him. I don't say anything and just place my hand over his. He still doesn't react, but I know that he knows I'm here.
We must sit in silence for what feels like hours before Laiken turns his hand, palm up, and threads his fingers through mine. He holds me in a vice-like grip as if afraid to let go. I squeeze his hand. I'm not going to let him be alone in this – losing my mom was one of the worst days of my life.
Being an empath feels like a curse more than a gift because I feel everything that Lai's feeling. I feel the sharp stab piercing at his heart, and I feel the numbness and hopelessness slowly taking over his being. Grief is the word. Grief is an awful thing but also a beautiful reflection of love.
"Laik," I eventually speak, "I'm here."
He lifts his head from his knees and looks at me, his brown eyes empty and void of their usual spark of mischief. He says nothing and simply reaches over to hug me with his free hand, and with the last bit of energy he has left in him. When his shoulders shuffle up against me, I realize that he's trying so incredibly hard to hold back his emotions.
"It's okay, Lai. It's okay to fall apart and feel it all," I encourage softly, giving him permission to break.
That's all it takes for him to do exactly that, then and there, in my arms.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
"Here, bud," Grey hands Laiken a mug of hot cocoa.
"Thanks," Laiken replies emotionlessly and takes the mug from Grey's hands.
Grey's eyes hold sympathy as he regards Lai. He opens his mouth and then closes it again, unsure of what to say. He settles for patting Lai twice on the shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"
He shakes his head. "I don't have an appetite."
Xave, Em, Ave, and Elle all decided it's best to leave and give Laik some time to process.
Grey nods and then focuses in on me. "Aqueela?"
Are we back to a first-name basis? That's progress. I'll have to undo it later when I get a grip on my own wave of melancholy.
I lift my head from Lai's shoulder. "Grey?"
He grins slightly. "I'm asking if you want anything to eat or drink?"
He's taking it easy on me, and I kind of love him for it, for his nearly nonexistent, soft side.
"I'm good, but thanks," I reply.
He nods before heading to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.
I turn my head to see that Lai's staring off into nothing again. I grab his hand, reminding him of my presence; I've noticed it's the only thing that seems to pull him out of oblivion.
Slobber has always been sensitive to moods. He's always been able to detect when I'm down, so when he stares up at Laiken and angles his head to the side in confusion, it doesn't surprise me. And nor does it surprise me when he paws softly at Laiken's leg.
Laik is so out of it that he doesn't even notice.
Slobber kicks it up a notch and barks up at him, doing his best to communicate with him. I wish I knew what he was trying to say.
When Lai still doesn't move, Slobber takes matters into his own paws and jumps up onto his lap. He places his paws on Laik's chest and leans up to nudge his head against Lai's chin. He whimpers sadly when he still doesn't receive anything from my broken friend.
It amazes me how much a human can be loved by an animal, especially by a dog. It's an honor and a gift. We take them for granted.
Slobs licks Lai's hand and then curls into a ball on his lap, waiting patiently for Lai to snap out of it.
"I didn't get to say goodbye," Lai whispers under his breath, mulling it over and over in his head as he subconsciously starts stroking Slobber.
"Lai, look at me," I place a hand on his cheek and gently turn his head toward me when he doesn't do it himself, "you practically moved back up here for her when you heard that she's sick. You've spent so much time with her since then. I have no doubt that she knew how much you loved her. I know that's what you wanted to tell her, but your actions already did that for you. You already told her. And trust me, she knew."
As Lai's glances down at me and listens to what I'm saying, his eyes change. I don't know how to explain it, but they just do.
"Law...how did we even become friends?"
I'm not sure what spurred this question on, but I answer him anyway, "I can't really remember. I just remember that I started seeing the real you, and then there was no going back."
He nods slowly and swallows, his expression loosening into something softer. "Do you think it's okay if I go to bed? I'm feeling pretty tired."
I'm taken aback by his abrupt request. "But you haven't even finished your cocoa?"
"Sorry. I just...I need to be alone for a while."
"I understand. Of course you can go to bed, Lai. But if you need anything, if you're done being alone, text me and I'll be at your door before you can say 'wow, that was fast'."
He throws me a waning smile before handing Slobber over to me and standing up.
"Night, Aqueela," he says without looking at me or waiting for a reply as he leaves the room.
"Night, Lai," I whisper after him with pursed lips and furrowed brows.
I don't get time to dwell on it because Jay returns to the room. "Where's Laiken?"
"He went to bed," I answer him. "He seemed...lost."
"I'm sure," Jay replies in understanding. "I just got off the phone with his stepmom. She says that she'll stop by with Lucy tomorrow."
I manage a smile. "Thank you, Jay. He loves Rita and he's always happy to see Luce. It will be good to have family around him."
"I spoke to Mase too. He's already booked a flight here."
I hug him tightly, grateful that he always takes it upon himself to do what needs to be done.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
It's around two in the morning when my phone lights up with a text. Seeing as I've been drifting in and out of sleep, with memories of my mom crossing my mind, I notice the flash on my phone's screen right away.
'Wow, that was fast.' ~ White Boy
"What's up?" Jay asks, turning on his side to face me. He wraps his arm around my waist in a tender manner, his actions reflecting his concern. "You've been tossing and turning a lot. Is everything okay?"
"Laik's done being alone," I answer him tiredly and show him the message on my phone. "I told him that I'd be there before he can say those four words," I explain, imagining that he'd probably be confused by it.
"Okay," he says, making a move to get up. "Do you want me to—" he starts to offer but I cut him off.
"No, it's fine, JJ," I lean up against him and kiss his cheek. "I got it. Go back to sleep."
He's been swept in a whirlwind since getting back and hasn't even had time to unwind. I know that it's nothing new for him and that he thrives on little sleep but still, I need him to take better care of himself, especially when he's not feeling well.
The fact that he fell asleep while I was talking to him earlier shows me just how exhausted he really is. He isn't as put together as he normally is, and I'm the only one close enough to him to notice.
"Aqueela," he lovingly holds my wrist before I can leave, "I really don't mind—"
"As much as you and everyone else would like you to be, you're not superhuman. You need to rest too, Jay."
He has an affinity for playing the hero and seems to feel guilty whenever his human needs kick in.
"But—" he starts to protest.
"Go to sleep, Jay Taylor. That's an order."
He sighs heavily but reluctantly releases my wrist and pulls the covers over himself and Slobber.
"Fine," he agrees, "but I'm not even that ti...."
When I look again, he's out like a light.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
"I was so shocked when you told Melinda off for popping my balloons," I finish telling Laik the story, my mouth working faster than my mind as I keep on rambling, doing anything to distract him from missing his mom.
I found him in front of the TV, but it was obvious that he wasn't really watching the animation playing out on the screen. I know him well enough to know that he stupidly hates animations.
He was taken aback when I sat down beside him. He didn't think that I'd see his message at this time, but I did because I found myself awake and missing my own mom too.
"In my opinion, that was your turning point," I keep speaking into the silence. "When you cut ties with Mel, you started to change." He doesn't say anything, so I decide to pull words out of him through a question. "Why did you bother to defend me that day?" I ask curiously.
"She was making fun of your dad abandoning you and it was your birthday," he answers, actually recalling the same memory. "That just isn't funny to me, even if it is the weird girl that it's being done to."
I smile and lightly knock his chest with my knuckles. "Softy."
His lips twitch up at the corners.
Progress.
*~*~*~**~*~*~*
Despite not sleeping much, I'm up early the next morning, anxiously waiting for the arrival of Lai's family while Jay and Grey fix up a huge breakfast for everyone.
When the doorbell rings, I sprint to the front door and swing it open, not wanting to keep anyone waiting.
"Leech."
I feel my heart swell up with happiness as my eyes begin to prickle with tears at the sight of him.
"Maggot!" I launch forward and throw my arms around him, my emotions rushing through me like a powerful tornado. It's been too long since I last saw him in person.
He has to take a step back to balance us because of the force; I nearly knocked him right over.
He chuckles in surprise and drops his bags to the floor to hug me back. "Are you okay? What's gotten into you?"
"I'm not sure," I tell him truthfully, wiping at my eyes. "I think I'm just at my limit with everything, but also, I missed you," I admit.
He rubs my back with one hand in an attempt to comfort me. "Don't cry on me, Leech. I'm not sure what to do with that. You don't normally cry, not for anything."
I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve today.
"Sorry," I apologize, not meaning to make him feel uncomfortable. Heck, my own emotions make me feel uneasy. I don't know what to do with them either.
I'm about to pull back from him when he draws me back into another protective embrace.
"I didn't say I'm done," he clarifies, gathering me in his arms for a moment longer before letting me go. "Now, I'm done."
"But I'm not," I go to hug him again, my heart turning to mush. I can't believe that he's actually here.
He welcomes me with open arms and leans back, lifting me off the ground while squeezing me tightly. Just as my lungs are about to burst, he lowers me back to the floor and releases me, allowing me to breathe.
"I think that's the most affection you've ever shown me in your entire life," he jokes with a smile. "I'm tempted to stay away longer next time."
"Don't you dare, Mase!"
He laughs in disbelief. "You really have missed me."
I nod furiously. "All the time."
His warm, brown eyes lock with my own. "Would you believe me if I said that I miss you all the time too?"
I shake my head, already convinced. "No."
I'm sure his life is way simpler without me involved in it. I know myself and I tend to crazy up things. Most people only tolerate me.
"Well, I do," he insists. "But only when I see you, do I remember how much."
Smiling, I open the door wider for him and gesture for him to come inside. I'm about to close the door after him when another car pulls into the driveway.
A middle-aged couple steps out, and damn, they're both lookers. The woman is pretty and has all her blond hair tucked away in a sleek ponytail. When I notice the shade of blue in her eyes, I instantly connect her as 'Rita', Lucy's mother. I also somewhat recognize her – she tasered Max after all.
The man smiles at me from afar, his charming grin a dead ringer for Laiken's. He's a total heartthrob for his age and it all makes sense how Laiken came out looking like he did. They're a family of perfection.
The second Lucy's feet touch the ground, she's running toward me. Before I can blink, I'm being hugged super hard. She instinctively starts crying. "Is he okay? Is my brother okay?"
"He will be when he sees you," I tell her, putting all the comfort that I possibly can into the hug. "You should get in there."
She pulls back and runs past me to go and see her brother.
I love that kid so much. She has a heart of gold. I can't believe that I used to carry her around; she's as tall as me now. How time flies...
"She's very close to him, as you can see," Rita tells me as she approaches me, having no idea who I am. "He's always been the best brother to her despite them not being fully related."
I smile and shake her outstretched hand when she reaches me. "I know." That's something that I've always known about him.
"I'm Rita and this is my husband, Noah," she takes it upon herself to do the introductions.
I shake Noah's hand next. "Nice to meet the rest of Laiken's family. I'm Aqueela."
Noah grins, his handshake firm. "Lucy talks about you a lot."
I smile up at him, touched by Lucy's devotion to me. "She's a good kid."
Rita places a hand on my arm, recognition flooding her features. "Oh, Aqueela! Yes, our Luce adores you. I'm sorry, I knew the name sounded familiar."
I shrug, taking no offense. "That's okay."
"How's my son coping?" Noah asks me, his grin fading behind a look of worry.
"As well as you'd expect anyone to be coping after losing a parent," I answer, unsure of what else to say. "But I know he'll be glad to see you both."
"Thank you for being here for him," he says, squeezing my shoulder in thanks before brushing past me into the house.
I see Rita's eyes zero in on my face, making me feel totally out of place. "Did you perhaps go to the same high-school as Laiken?" she questions from out of the blue.
I nod hesitantly. "I did."
She suddenly smiles. "I thought so. I remember seeing you at school functions with that gorgeous brunette friend of yours. I think she was a cheerleader. She dated Mason for a while?"
"Bell," I confirm with another nod, confused. "But how—"
"Whenever Lai would score a touchdown, he'd search the crowd. I always wondered who he was looking for until I spotted you and your friend," she elaborates, exposing him. "Although, you didn't really seem to be into football. You were always talking to, or arguing with, someone instead of watching the game."
That sounds like me...
"He brought home a lot of girls back then, but I don't think he ever liked any of them. I suspect that you might have been his first, real crush," she remarks confidently.
"I don't know about that..." I trail off, not sharing the same confidence as her. "We didn't exactly get along."
I doubt that I was ever on his radar.
"Well, I'm glad you get along now," she replies happily. "I think you're his first female friend ever – well, the first one that he's not...you know...seeing. I'm glad you're teaching him that we're useful for other things too."
I laugh, aware of his ways. "I'll say this, he makes me a more patient person." And that's the damn truth!
She glances down at my hand, her smile faltering for a second. "That's a beautiful ring that you have there."
I lift my hand in pride and show it to her. "Thank you."
"Congratulations," she passes me another friendly smile before finally entering our home.
I stand in the doorway for a moment or two, collecting my thoughts. I push memories of my mother aside before following her in.
Noah's talking and laughing with Mase and Jay. Rita's trying to engage Grey in casual conversation; good-luck to her. Lucy is bravely shaking Laiken awake – he fell asleep on the couch. I covered him with a blanket and decided to let him be.
"Leave me alone, Law. I decided that I don't want to face the day today," he groans and attempts to push 'me' away when Lucy grabs him by the waist and hugs him, dropping her head on his neck.
He sits up with a frown but when his eyes meet his sister's, he lights up. "Luce? What are you doing here?"
She wipes at her eyes and sits down beside him, taking his hands into hers. "We're all here for you, Lai-Lai."
"We?" he asks and then glances around the room in surprise, catching the gaze of everyone. "Wow," is all he manages to say.
His gaze flickers over to me. He smiles for the first time since losing his mom and sends me a respectful nod. I nod back. I'm not sure what he's saying, but I'm going to pretend like I do.
And then he gets swarmed by his family – Mase, Noah, and Rita all lining up to greet him with warm hellos.
Jay takes the gap to walk over to me. He drops his arm over my shoulders as we watch the mini reunion taking place before us. He leans down to kiss the side of my head. "You have a way of bringing people together, 'Queela," he whispers.
"You're the one who made all the phone calls, Jay," I remind him with a hushed laugh. He doesn't give himself enough credit.
"Making a phone call is easy. Bringing people from all different walks of life and turning them into a family isn't. You're the heart of this squad, and no one would ever say differently because we all know that none of us would be here if it weren't for you. Our lives all intersect because you're the center. We're all tethered to you, to this," he gingerly traces a heart over my chest with his index finger.
"My heart is actually here." I place my hand over the left side of my chest, slightly lower than where he had his hand.
He cocks his head to the side and gives me a flat look. "I know, but if I'd done that, you would've went on about how I just groped you. I went for the safer option."
I laugh and lean back into his hold, cozying up to him.
*~**~*
Hey, guys :)
1. Thoughts on Laiken's current state of mind?
2. Thoughts on Aqueela's friendship with Laiken?
3. Thoughts on Mase being back?
4. Thoughts on Noah and Rita?
5. Thoughts on Lucy's relationship with Laiken?
6. Who is the heart of the squad, in your opinion?
7. Favourite line/part of this chapter?
Thanks for reading :)
~ CJ