As soon as the question you've been anxiously waiting to ask Rosé left your lips, she seemed to pull away and began to act differently almost immediately.
"Rosie? Did you hear me?"
"Yeah." She said as she brushed her fingers across her forehead. "Yeah, I heard you."
"So? What's your answer?"
It was so painful for Rosé to sit there and contemplate the answer to a question she secretly has been wondering if either of you would get the courage to ask.
You asked her to be your girlfriend.
Deep inside, the words brought a flutter to her heart.
But she immediately felt the reality sink in; her reality.
"I don't know if it's such a good idea, Y/N."
Ouch.
That stung.
"I know that's not the answer you hoped for but I don't know what to say."
"You like me, right? As more than a friend?" You asked.
"You know I do." She sighed.
"Then be my girl."
"It's not that easy, lovely. It's not so pretty all the time when it comes to my life. I'm hard to love."
"What do you mean?"
She nervously bounced her knee, wondering if she should go into detail about everything she feels inside.
"It's why I don't date. It never works out. I find it hard to trust people and when things feel good, I tend to fuck them up."
You put your hand on her thigh for some comfort and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she likes the way it felt.
"In a relationship, people want everything from that person. You would want all of me and I don't think I can give that much."
"Rosie-"
"I don't want to cause you any problems but when you sit here and look at me, you probably don't see my issues but I have them."
"Everyone has some issues. I don't think of anyone as less than because of that." You said.
"I just don't think I'm worthy of love. Not when it's so hard to love me and to stay with me. With me, I'm up till I'm down. I'm all in till I'm out. I've got a lot to work out."
"So you're not perfect? Rosie, darling, no one is. Everyone has some sort of baggage that they carry with them in life. I feel like I'm hard to love sometimes. Many things can make you feel that way. But that doesn't mean you are hard to love or that you're unworthy of love."
"I just don't want to hurt you. I can make it feel like heaven but I'm no saint."
"Neither am I."
You're so sweet and so consoling, trying to rid her of every worry and make her feel at ease, as she should be.
And that made Rosé a little more frustrated.
"You're not freaked out? About me feeling this way? Or my career? About everything that comes along with it?" She asked as she scoffed and ran her fingers through her blonde locks. "I'm trying to be nice!"
"Well stop trying to be nice! Because all you're doing is convincing yourself of something that isn't even true."
She stared at you in silence.
For once, she didn't have the words to say.
She just stood there as she tried to deal with her emotions and worries inside.
But they were all slipping away, one by one as you'd touch her hand or send her a smile.
"You think you're hard to love? Let me be the judge of that. Because, truthfully, I think you're being too hard on yourself. You can feel that way. You're allowed to. But I think you're the only one who thinks that."
She cracked a tiny smile and you couldn't help but feel relieved.
It was progress.
"Everyone around you - your family, your friends, the girls, your staff members - they love you and they find you to be so easy to fall for. because you're beautiful inside and out and you've got all of the qualities that everyone dreams of finding in someone."
"You're too sweet." She whispered.
"No. You're just too hard on yourself. Because I'm telling you the truth. You deserve the world and I want to be the one to give it to you. You don't give yourself enough credit. You are incredible."
She smiled a little bigger and took your hand into hers.
"I promise to treat you the way you deserve. And I'll show you that you're not hard to love, not like you think you are."
She was a little hesitant because she didn't want you to end up feeling differently and get hurt.
But you made her want to try and she's never felt that way before.
"Okay."
You smiled brightly at her before throwing your arms around her to hold her tight, making her feel adored, just as she deserved.