"Shane," he gasped, this information completely catching him off guard. He slowly sat up from his resting position and watched her taking constant breaths with her eyes closed.
"You're not who I want to tell," her lips trembled, as she continued with her confession, "but I've got to tell someone, as a part of my healing process."
He could see the tears leaving the corners of her eyes, but she never let out a sound. All that she did was take in a breath, and immediately release it through her mouth. This was something that her dad taught her.
"Oh Shane, I am so very sorry about what you went through," he spoke with a soft voice, picking up her hand and holding it because he did not know how to comfort her. Neither did he know how she wanted to be comforted.
His heart broke for her, and for every woman that ever had to go through that, all because a man couldn't control himself.
"Is that why she's trying to run you out of town? Because her father did that to you?" disbelief drenched his tone, as he tried to connect the dots. He couldn't understand how she had taken Shane's power.
She laughed, letting go of Hendrichs' hand and she sat up. Her time to cry was up, as bitterness was all she felt encroaching her heart. It tasted sour upon her tongue, but she had no problem with that — she quite liked sour candy for that matter.
Roughly, she wiped her tears. She needed that half of a glass that was left, and more. Silently she tried to stand to her feet, but like he knew where she was headed — he quickly grabbed onto her arm. A frown was the first thing to climb onto her face. She was not appreciative of his stance.
"Let me go." she stated, or much rather commanded. It wasn't just a command, but it was a warning, one he didn't care to oblige to.
"I'm not letting you go," he told her. And she pulled her arm, forcefully at that. Yet his grip remained strong on her.
"Let me go!" she screamed this time. Her anger doing most of the talking, trying to protect a crumbling Shane.
"I will. I just need you to calm down first." He wasn't trying to be dominant over her. He just didn't know what her history with alcohol was. He however knew what the abuse of it could lead to. He'd walked down that path with Amaru, and these were the birth pains he'd ignored when it came to him.
He couldn't allow himself to ignore them yet again.
"I was calm. Then you decided to hold onto my hand as though you're my man. Whom are you trying to control? Cause I know the hell it's not me!" she spat, tugging at her hand yet again.
"Please don't drown your emotions in alcohol," was what he chose his response to be. "I'm not controlling you, I'm only asking you,"
"A sip is not gonna turn me into an alcoholic Hendrichs," she softly chuckled, her arm becoming limp in his hand. Her shoulders visibly sagged, followed by a sigh that left her lips. She then shook her head.
Voice full of melancholy, she continued — this time trying to explain herself. "I don't have the physical strength to relive all things that happened the last time I was in this city H. At least with more liquor in my system, I can talk about it. Let it out of my system. Heal, or whatever my dad said."
"You'd have defeated the whole purpose of speaking about it. Because it's not just about speaking, but letting the emotions trapped in your soul out. That's healing." he explained, holding her eyes with his own.
She chuckled in response, "If you know all this, why aren't you applying it to your own life? Hmm? You walk around carrying all these emotions but you act like you're fine."
"The difference is I have healthy coping mechanisms. And I never said I have it all figured out. It's easier said than done. I've never known how to deal with emotions, but I know how not to and that I avoid completely."
"Yet you left a girl who probably loved you because…," she paused, realizing that she was about to say something that she would not be able to take back. She was about to throw something he'd openly told her, but didn't have to, in his face.
"Because what Shane?" gone was the friendly tone in his voice. He was very serious, and his face was evidence enough.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to say that." she immediately swallowed, lowering her gaze so she could look at her hands. She was on her knees as she shook her head. "My brain is trying to fight you off. To protect me. Cause that's all we've known. Protecting us. Team Shane."
She bit her lip. She could feel the emotion travelling through her system towards her eyes. Towards her hand which slightly began to shake. It was light, not noticeable if you weren't paying attention. Yet he was.
"I came back to Chicago the first time around, so I could gain the strength to confront my biological father. I also came here to get into the law system, so I could do police work. Eventually becoming a detective. Nadia and I became friends because she already worked at the station. Her dad was the captain, so she easily hooked me up with a job there."
A small smile came alive onto her face, and simultaneously a tear ran down her cheek.
"Nadia is of course married to David. We all became such cool friends. But poor David didn't know that Nadia had a relationship on the side with her dad's golden boy, Detective Marcellus Graham. I knew of course, cause the best friend always knows. It was none of my business, so I never said anything. I was loyal." she hit her chest once, another singular tear slowly cascading down her cheek.
"But loyalty never counts for anything I guess," she scoffed, shaking her head.
"Nonetheless, fast forward to me being there a year plus, and she was promoted to being detective. I was tryna get into that spot too. The chief and commander, someone higher than Nadia's father, whom I decided to become close to, said I had a shot at it. I just had to help with this investigation they had going on."
"I had goals, and plans to achieve them fast. That was about to become a reality." a bitter smile came to surface this time around. Followed by a chuckle, and her shaking her head again.
"I go undercover, and I'm required to tell no one. Only report to the CC. Whilst undercover, my partner was Detective Marcellus Graham, who just so happened to be Nadia's side dish. That's my girl's man, so I stay respectful as always. Even when we shared a space because of the job. I'm gonna pin this part of the story for now, then connect it later. So don't forget it," she used her hands to demonstrate, and all Hendrichs did was nod his head.
"Nonetheless, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but occasionally we'd have a brunch, or late lunch early supper at Nadia's parents house. I got along with them quite well. On this particular day, it was brunch day. I arrived, and Nadia, her husband and mother weren't home. They'd gone to get the food and meat from the store." she paused, taking a breath before she shook her head – a sad smile on her face.
"I remember it like yesterday, because everytime I think about it…it feels like yesterday." his eyes remained on her face. He could see that she was slowly drifting away into her mind.
"As I got there. I had on a strappy summer dress that went over my knees. Very modest. It had a slit till my hip, but it wasn't very obvious unless I added weight to my right leg." Yet again, she paused —closing her eyes.
"I don't have to get into detail, because that's not necessary. However, he says," she stopped as her voice became shaky, "he says I seduced him. Apparently I was doing all types of bending, and throwing myself at him. He couldn't resist temptation. I apparently fed sex to him."
"He molested me. I begged for him to stop. Eventually I knew there was no stopping." Tears started rolling out from her eyes, "I'd been reduced to just a sexual object. My body responded positively, even though it was violated. So apparently, I wanted it."
"No, don't touch me!" she loudly whispered as he tried to move closer to her.
"My own body betrayed me," she pointed toward her chest, bowing her head. There it was. She was finally admitting to the thought that had been circling her mind, and each time she'd bury it. She hated that when the people she trusted betrayed her, her own body did the very same thing.
"What kinda stupid shit is that?" her nose flared before more tears streamed out of her eyes. She tried to hold back the sob that was stuck in her throat. She really tried, but as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, he unbound every restraint she had. Yet again, she was in utter shambles in his arms.
Her face rested upon his chest, as he cradled her like a baby — and watched her become undone. He never could have guessed that she had experienced something like this. No wonder people said to never judge a book by its cover. In that moment, he watched someone he thought to be strong release her emotions. Which simultaneously seemed to unlock his own, as his eyes somewhat became blurry.
He didn't know what to say to her. He didn't know how to console her, however, he hoped that his embrace would bring somewhat of reassurance. He hoped she could feel that he was there for her. And he was sorry that she had to undergo such a horrible experience.
"I know I probably don't know what I'm saying. However, the body when given sexual intercourse, is programmed to orgasm when it's pleasured right. This is not to say what that man did is right by the way. But could explain the reaction your body had. Don't blame yourself, or your body. Blame the perpetrator for taking something he did not deserve, nor have the right to." He gently spoke this over her head, before he mindlessly kissed her forehead.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting in his arms as she searched for comfort in him. And comfort is exactly what he gave her, as she kept on releasing her emotions. He did not disturb her, he gave her the silence that he knew he would have wanted. Until, the last sniffle came about and finally she opened up her mouth to speak.
"Thank you for that H," she spoke into his chest, shutting her eyes because she wasn't ready to let go of his yet. This position, though innocent felt so intimate to her, and simultaneously him. He liked holding her like this.
"For what?" he rested his chin over head, releasing a breath.
"For allowing me to let it out. To be vulnerable. I've never told anyone about this, so my heart is literally pounding. But for some reason, despite obvious reason not to, I trust you.” she admitted, just because she had her eyes closed and knew that she couldn't see him.
"I'm honored that you chose to unpack with me." was all he said, closing his eyes too.
"What are we gonna do about us?" she still wanted that solved, despite the emotional havoc that had just occurred. She at least wanted one thing figured out.
He sighed, leaning his head against the seat of the couch.
"That is the question of the century. We're clearly not ready for a relationship. I can only speak for myself when I say I want to truly get to know you. Whilst I take my journey of healing." He answered.
"I do want to know the man behind the front too." she admitted with a small voice, which made him smile.
She abruptly got up from his arms, a small smile on her face. She had an idea she wanted to share with him.
"We could go on this healing journey together? Genuinely be friends, before, and if we might feel like taking things further than that." She expectantly raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm kinda getting the vibe that we both don't really like going to see the lady."
Both wore smiles as their eyes remained locked.
"I kinda like your idea." He slowly nodded his head.
"Nah, you real life like my idea." she teased him, and both of them ended up chuckling.
"Stop being silly." he blinked. Then Shane laughed.
"I'm game to going on the healing journey together friend. Do you wanna talk about how that's gonna look like? Like plan it out?" he asked as she scooted, and sat right next to him —his arm going around her neck and above her shoulder.
"I'm hoping it can be as natural as possible. Then maybe we can have shared activities or something." she looked over to him, and he really couldn't get over how undeniably beautiful she was. What she'd shared, it just brought a whole new light to her — a beautiful light that was.
"I'm cool with that madam. We'll chat more over the phone too,"
"Oh, you're tryna be texting me now?" she smirked, and he rolled his eyes at her question.
"Are you gonna act like you don't want to be texting me?" he flipped the script on her, and all she could do was smile. She hated that she was being so soft right now, but it was something about a man who could bring that out of a tough woman.
She looked elsewhere, but his hand drew her face back towards him, "Uh Uh, look at me."
"Don't do that, cause you're gonna tempt me to kiss you. And I'm tryna be a good friend right now." She bit her bottom lip, truthfully confessing her thoughts to him.
"Tryna be a good friend but you're gonna bite your lip like that? Whilst in close proximity to me?" he raised an eyebrow, using his thumb to release her lip from between her teeth.
"Are we really, like really, ever gonna be purely just friends? Friends who have purely friendly conversations?" she asked, leaning against his arm, even though her warm brown eyes were still on him.
"Maybe after today?" He lifted his eyebrow, his chest a bit heavy because he wanted to go against his best mindset.
"Right? I was just thinking the same thing." she admitted, before she moved at the speed of lightning –attaching her lips to his. He pulled her onto his laps, her legs immediately going around his waist.
With his hands resting on her waist, and hers holding his neck and the back of his head — they tried to quench the desire that was lit ablaze in both their souls. It was still a burning kiss, and they both couldn't wait to experience the slow, yet strangely intimate kiss that joined two into one.
"I gotta tell you about Essie," Shane suddenly broke the kiss.
"Later." He told her, before taking her lips again.
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Shane this chapter & last.
How are we feeling about the chapter? And the direction Shane & Hendrichs are deciding to take?
thank you for reading. hoping to have the next chapter out sooner.
excuse all mistakes.
pls vote & comment too.🤍
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