"Harry? Please say something." His voice breaks and when I look up, I see through tears how he slowly starts to get up.
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Harry's Pov:
I'm unable to move. I watch him leave. I break down. I let the tears fall down freely. I don't hold back the broken sobs that escape my mouth.
All these years I hated him for nothing. All these years I thought my best friend doesn't accept my sexuality. All these years I thought he was right. All these precious years wasted.
I let myself fall back on my bed. I curl around a pillow and let my tears soak it. I don't hold back. I want the sleep to take me in, to release the tension.
Shortly before I fall asleep, I get to my senses. Lou. I let him walk away. He probably thinks he destroyed our friendship ultimately. He didn't. I just needed time to process what he said. And I can no longer ignore the fluttery feeling in my tummy when he's nearby. It seems like him admitting that he still loves me broke down the final walls. Zayn. He was right and I will have to apologize.
With the last bit of power I have left, I get myself out of bed. Without looking into the mirror, I step out of the room. I know I look like a mess; I don't need a confirmation of that.
I quickly walk over to his room and knock on his door. I fidget nervously, waiting for him to open the door. But nothing happens. The door doesn't open. I hear no sound; no shuffling, nothing. I knock again, a bit harsher than the first time. I wait again, a bit less hopefully that before. Once more I get disappointed. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens.
Sighing I make my way over to Niall's room (Yes, we got the whole floor for ourselves, the hotel is not that big). I knock again. He opens the door with a confused expression as he probably didn't expect a knock at this time of the day. As soon as he sees my disheveled state of being he pulls me into his room by his arms. Just my luck that Zayn and Liam are there as well.
They all look at me expectantly, Zayn seems to know what's going on. Damn mind reader.
"Louis kinda confessed something and I let him leave and I have to find him. As soon as possible." I know that my voice is shaking but I really have to get to him. I don't want him to do something stupid, something that he will regret.
"Ohhh, what did he confess?" Liam and Niall say simultaneously.
Zayn threw them a warning glance and answered honestly: "He didn't turn up here, if that's what you mean. Maybe he went to a bar near here, you know to drown his sorrows. I'm pretty sure it was a heavy talk and if you didn't respond he definitely took it the wrong way. Is there a bar nearby, maybe one you went to before?"
I dawned on me. 17 Black. The bar we shared our first kiss. The one that's in permanent ink on my shoulder. Holy shit. Please tell me he went there.
Zayn apparently read my facial expression already and shooed me away with a: "Go on but tell us first where you are going, so we know where to look for you when you go missing. And please disguise yourself, we don't want another drama."
"17 Black, a bar nearby." was my short answer. I still have to check how the fans reacted to me and Lou hugging. Hmmm, I'll check that tomorrow.
Zayn sent me off with a curt nod and a small smile.
I hastily walked out of the door and went to get me a big oversized hoodie. Luckily the night was quite cold so nobody will look at me weird. I mean it's really hot at daytime, so yeah. Equipped with some aspirin tablets, my hoodie and a hat I walk up to one of my security people and ask them to accompany me. I chose one that could be a friend of mine and wouldn't attract unwanted attention.
He looked at me like I'm a freak. Well, I kinda understand him. I mean I ask him at 11pm if he will follow me into a gay strip club. Wait...why does he know that club? Hmmm, interesting. Wait I'm losing my focus. I know exactly that I try to distract myself so I don't have to admit the problem to myself. But as much as I try to forget the current situation: My mind is a mess right now. If something doesn't go by plan, he liked to drown his problems in alcohol. I don't know him well enough to be able to judge how he handles difficulties now. But if he does what I think he's doing, then we have a problem. Lou is more of an affectionate drunk. Not an angry drunk as many would think. But if no one is around for him to cuddle he just looks for someone, a stranger. He never does something sexual with them or even goes as far as kissing. He just dances with them or cuddles them. And also only does that if they give him their consent. He really is a cute drunk. But he doesn't go and cuddle strangers when he's in a relationship. His drunken mind seems to know that that is be a no-go and he just calls his other half and whines about being lonely. I should know.
But right now, he isn't in a relationship. And if people start to notice that he always is right where I am.... That wouldn't end too well. I mean I definitely wouldn't mind but Lou isn't out and I don't think he wants to come out of the closet with a drunken mistake.
I don't know if I'm hoping he isn't at the club, just to be sure that he isn't dancing with a random person that could recognize him or if I'm hoping he is there so I no longer have to be concerned about his whereabout.
Deep in thoughts in nearly missed that we've already reached our location. After showing the bouncer my ID, he lets me in and we enter the well-known club. Is it weird to feel nostalgist when one enters a strip club?
Looking around, searching for Lou, I'm met with a sight I would have never expected:
Louis kissing some random man about 20 feet away from me.
Just what I thought he would never do turned into reality. I know I shouldn't feel jealous. We aren't in a relationship, hell we weren't even close to one. Still, I could feel the jealousy bubbling inside of me. And also something different. Something like sadness and disappointment.
I run up to him to tap him onto the shoulder. He turns around, pupils dilated. From arousal or the alcohol, I really don't want to know. I try to talk quietly but come on it's a club, it's quite impossible isn't it. I say out loud and clearly so his drunken mind understands me:
"About two hours ago, you told me I was and will always be the love of your life. You ran away before I could say anything. I looked for you because I was concerned. And what do I find? You are kissing a strange. A male stranger. After you didn't want to come out for so many years you just... throw it away?"
He looks at me dumbfounded. Then he looks at the man. Then looks back at me. How drunk did he manage to get in those two fucking hours?! Finally, I get a reaction. But not the one I want. He squeals loudly and says: "Ohhh you are here! I missed you. I had to look for replacement, but it wasn't nearly as good as you." And then he slurs, quite loudly, just as the music stops:
"Hazzaaaa, I looooovee youuhuuu."
Some people look over to us and look away again just to look back after registrating who we are. I also see a about five phones out, filming us. Fuck. FUck. FUCk. FUCK!
I can't stand the looks the people give me as more and more seem to realize who's standing next to them. I want to run out of this club but I can't leave Louis in here, drunk and willing to share secrets. As they start to crowd us, something not only Niall hates, I try to walk faster. I'm incredibly happy that I brought Elijah with me. He is trying to free the way and does that with an efficiency of 10 bodyguards. Wanna know how?
Well, his voice is pretty similar to Liam's so right now he's just telling everyone over the boxes that everyone should huddle up in the back, right corner so they can have a secret 1D performance. Mean, but effective.
I love my fans, don't get me wrong, but right now, we have to leave.
As soon as the fans where huddled up in the corner, I started running and pulling Louis along with me. Elijah, thank god he is ok, unlocks the car and we pile inside. As soon as we close the door, he starts driving.
It scares all three of us when we hear a very familiar voice from the backseats:
"Well, that was interesting."
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I am deeply sorry for not updating. I had so many exams this week and everything was a bit too much. And then I saw how someone added my book to a reading list called "waiting to update" and gave myself a kick in the ass and started writing this chapter today. I guess it turned out quite alright and actually really fucking long. So I hope you enjoyed it and again: I'm so sorry.
Hope you like it :)))
Have a nice day, evening or whatever <33
PS: Wow!!! So many reads!! Thank you all a lot <33
PPS: I guess there is a bar called 17 black in the UK but I just said that this bar is in the USA, hope you don't mind.
~ N
29.10.22