"𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚔𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎, 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎."
~~~
𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐞'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕
Despite the mirror being in perfect condition the girl looking back at me was fractured.
And just like the past forty-eight hours I can't stand the sight of my own reflection.
Sullen bags covering the bottom of my eyes don't get any lighter as I apply a second shade of concealer to cover the dark rimmed circles.
The flared acne rising from cheeks is just another reminder of that stupid time of the month that just arrived yesterday.
So in an attempt to look like I'm living and not just alive, I continually dab my blotchy skin with a beauty blender I haven't used in weeks.
I did this.
I broke up with him so why was I feeling like absolute shit.
"Are you sure we can go in there?" Izzy whispered behind my door.
"Do you smell the air coming from that room? It's like the depths of hell evolved in there." Vic hissed in response. The two of them shuffle on the other side of the wall, attempting to hide the clear conversation they were having about me.
"I know but I mean it's only been a couple days. Maybe she needs more time."
"More time to mourn over that lying dick? No, we are not moping anymore." Victoria answered loudly. It was clear she had wanted me to hear every bit of this discussion. Three back to back knocks connect to my door before she speaks again. "Sage, baby I love you, but you need a hot meal and...a shower, maybe two."
I roll my eyes but lift my arms to see if she was right or just being mean.
She was in fact right.
"Sage?" Izzy finally speaks with a much more sympathetic tone that I'm not used to hearing. "Ms. Rayes is worried you won't get your featured article done in time. You missed yesterday's meeting."
I squeeze my eyes shut, suddenly remembering who was the topic of my paper.
He had been knocking on our door for the past two days, in between classes, workouts and lunch. Pleading to talk to me after I ignored all his calls. Vic who was clearly on my side refused to let him in. I couldn't see him. This would just make him leaving in a couple days so much harder than it needed to be.
"Let us in Sage." Vic's voice muffled behind the door. "He's not here anymore." Her tone softens.
Sighing while dragging my body out the bed, I walk over to the door and let both Izzy and Vic inside. They try to be nice but I catch them scrunching their nose in disgust at the smell and looking for any sign of the wooden floor.
I do a bit of a double take myself when I notice Izzy's hair color was a dark teal color instead of baby pink. Her usual overalls and striped shirt outfit was replaced with something much warmer but still vibrant and unique to her personality.
"Tell Rayes the paper will get done." I mutter, with little confidence that it would.
I shuffled around the room, picking up a couple mismatched socks, a few used pajama tops from the ground and organized a couple textbooks that were now covering every surface in my proximity. Finals week was just around the corner and I was an absolute mess of emotions but I couldn't let my grades suffer because of it.
"How about you tell her?" Izzy answers with optimism that I'll leave my dorm.
"She'll just lecture me." I flop back into my bed, my forehead instantly hitting the soft plush pillow.
"Sage, you haven't left the dorm in days. I'm worried about you." Vic speaks up.
"I went out." I mumbled into the sheets that still smell of aftershave and faint cologne. They make me dizzy in a good way.
"To meet with your attorney. That doesn't count."
"And what do you suggest I do?" I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling, noticing the little details I never picked up on before. It's peeling and it's off white, not white. Tiny rounded corners are forming at the edges and chipping off.
"A few girls from my writing class invited me to a party on campus tonight. It might get your mind off him for a couple of hours."
Him
Him
Him
"A party Vic?" I yawn already feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over me again. "I feel and look like crap enough as it is. There's no way I can get myself put together for that right now."
"That's why when Iz and I get back we are going to have a complete girls makeover. I'll grab a couple things from the mall before I get back and we'll get ready together."
"I don't—
"Just give it a chance, Sage. I promise you might actually enjoy yourself tonight." Vic walks around my room, tidying up anything she comes in contact with as I remain silent. "So, I'll see you after class. I'm going to drop off Izzy and there's a plate of food already warm in the microwave if you get hungry."
Before I can argue the door to my room slams shut and I'm alone again.
At the mention of a warm plate of food my stomach immediately grumbled. I sit up and swing my feet over my bed until they hit the mini carpet in front of me.
I close my eyes for a moment, picturing my life six months ago. How I survived without a relationship for all those years. I can do it again.
I will.
It feels like someone's wringing my intestines dry when a quiet thud hits the opposite side of the main door. It's faint but the knocking sound continues before it stops and my mind races with the possibility that it could be Zach again.
I could just crawl back into the warmth of my sheets and ignore it but deep down a twisted part of me wanted to see how he was doing without me. If he was just as shattered as I was.
Just as lost
Just as lonely
I swiftly reached for a clean shirt that didn't consist of any weird food stains or small holes from constant wear and tear before throwing one arm in after the other. My sweats were clean for the most part and didn't look half beat to death.
Closing my eyes and breathing in slowly, I turn the knob and swing open the door. In front of me is the last person I expected.
Before I can speak she holds up a pink duffle bag, I recognize. "Victoria forgot her things back at the studio. I figured I would bring it over before they emptied the lost and found bin."
Silently nodding, I take the bag from her manicured hands. Scanning her from head to toe, I feel embarrassed having shown up to the door looking like this. Then my consciousness recovers and Zach's confession easily swarms through my thoughts.
Before the silence lingered any longer, I spoke. "I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
Right as I begin to shut the door, a foot stops it from closing all the way and I curse at myself for not looking through the peephole first.
"Sage, right?" Her eyes almost light up as I nod, tugging the corners of my mouth into a weak excuse of a smile.
My eyes shifted over her features once again and this time I picked up on the subtle details that confirmed the state of her health. Luna gently rubbed her neck over a slight enlargement and I noticed the bruising and rashes around her forearm from the IVs and hospital tapes. Yet she still looked much more relaxed from the last time I last saw her in that auditorium. Like a substantial weight had finally been lifted off her shoulders.
Like she was finally at peace.
I take a tentative step back, looking away from her soul catching stare. "We don't have to do this Luna. This is already awkward for the both of us."
Her fingers played nonstop with the jewelry clasped over her neck as a distraction I can only assume. before she spoke. "I know you're Zach's girlfriend and I might be overstepping but I just wanted to say a few things to clear the air."
"He hasn't told you?" I asked, my throat closing in on the words.
She looks genuinely confused. "Told me what....exactly?"
"Zachariah's moving." Is all I say for her to catch the meaning behind my hesitation. I don't want to say it. If I did it would just mean the words were true, real...final.
"Yeah, of course. I know that part but that night of the showcase, Sage I really didn't mean to come in and overstep any boundaries or make you feel less than. What Zach and I had was nothing but teenage love." Her voice falls and so does her eyes as they look anywhere but me. "I always knew. I... I just couldn't bring myself to break his heart."
"It's fine. I-I'm fine, okay. There's no need to apologize, Luna." I begin to close the door but she speaks again, pushing her hand out.
"Of course I need to apologize to you Sage, especially if I put a dent in your relationship." Stop, please. She continues on and the breath in my throat hitches momentarily. Stop talking. "You and Zach are perfect together. Really, I mean it and the way he looks at you Sage. I know there's—
"Stop, please! Just stop, Luna." My lungs felt numb despite every painful breath evacuating my body. I felt a sting burn my eyes and because someone was watching I quickly blinked away the tear before it could even fall.
Luna's mouth snapped shut and her brows bunched together. "Sage...
"I ended it." I sighed, too exhausted with myself to yell. "Zach wouldn't leave so I broke up with him and now he gets a real chance at the pros. So no, we aren't perfect together. We're wrong for each other." My words fell to a murmur. "So perfectly wrong."
And with that I slammed the door in her shocked pale face.
My phone buzzes shortly after and it's Vic asking which dress I preferred for tonight. I sighed, chucking the phone to the couch where it rolls over and smacks straight into the ground. The absolute last thing I needed was to be surrounded by a bunch of wasted students that didn't understand the severity of my problems.
I couldn't be here.
Not at this college when we could run into each other at any moment.
End of Chapter
Sorry this one was short and a little rushed. This was just a filler chapter.
How do you think Zach is dealing with the breakup. You'll find out next chapter how down bad he is!
Vote, Share and let me hear your thoughts. I look forward to reading the comments<33