Forgiving Dad and Zayn made me feel free. It's been the best way for me to start focusing on the present and the future, and letting go of the past.
I know present and future will never be possible without the past, but sometimes we have to forget it especially those bad memories.
My past with my mom, friends and my pen-pal would be the past that I'll never forget.
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Remembering my Pen-pal while laying on my bed painted a smile on my face.
What is he doing right now? Does he still remember me?
I know there is a 50-50 chance that he still does remembered me and planning to search for me like we had promised. But it is also impossible for him to find me if I'm here.
Let me take you to the time it all started.
I was seating that time in my proper seat when I was in grade 6. My English Teacher instructed us to bring out a piece of blank paper. My classmates and I wondered why because we just had our quiz before that.
"Class, listen up." My teacher said and we all behaved. "I have here a box. In side this box are papers with names written on it." I looked at the box she was holding. What are we going to do with the names? Maybe it's for our Christmas Party. No. Christmas is 5 months away.
"I'll roam around, and each one of you will get one paper, but don't open it yet. Wait for my signal." She added.
She went to my side and I closed my eyes before picking up inside the box. Please be a girl. I crossed my fingers.
I stared at the paper but I didn't open it until I heard the signal of my Teacher.
I'm really excited to know what name I got so I unfolded it and placed it in front of my desk. It reads "HES". Is this a name?
I poked the back of my seatmate and asked her if who she got. "Chloe" she replied. "I got 'HES'. Is that even a name?" I frowned. She just shrugged.
"Alright, everybody listen up. Now you already know their name, they'll serve as your pen-pals. Write a letter for them. They're my husband's grade 8 students in London." She paused. "Okay, start writing." she instructed.
So what will I write? I don't even know my pen-pal's gender.
I stared at the blank paper in front of me.
After 10 minutes, our teacher asked us if we are already finished but I said No.
I get my pen and began to write at the blank sheet of paper.
Dear HES,
Hi. You can call me KC, that's my nickname. My teacher told us to write a letter for you guys. I was wondering if you're a girl or a guy. I hope we could be best of friends.
Sincerely, KC
Afternoon that day, our teacher dropped our letters to the mail office. After a month, I got a reply from my Pen-pal.
Dear KC,
I'm pleased to meet you. Our teacher also told us to write some letters to you there and I am so excited. Sorry if you've been confused if what is my gender. I'm a guy. And also, I'm looking forward to be your friend.
Sincerely, HES
We've been replying each other for several times and I'm really having a good time talking with him through writing. Because of the deep friendship that we have, I have the feeling of falling for him.
I still kept two letters from him and his gift for my birthday. His gift was a keychain with his name on it.
I kept his letters because he promised me something.
Dearest KC,
I don't know what I'm feeling right now but I think I like you. I know it's impossible for you to believe because we're still young but this the truth. I wish we could see each other. I believe that distance can't separate us though you're there and I'm here in England. I promise you that I'll search for you when I'm 18 years oldand you'll be my first girlfriend. I hope you'll do the same. Take care.
Love, HES
Until now, I hold on to his promise.