Happy belated international coming out day!!!! Just want you to know that I support everyone and I hope that you feel accepted in our world <33
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Louis' Pov:
Hmmm, this is actually quite cosy... I feel so sorry for Hazza. He's stressed because of his tour and now the realization that he's in a toxic relationship comes on top of that. But I guess I made the right decision. I don't think he's mad at me, I mean he wanted me to cuddle him. But maybe that's because he's sleepy? Oh god, what if he hates me? Maybe he just wants cuddles and I was the person that was closest to him? No, no, no Louis, don't think like that. Maybe he's thankful that you told him what you think. Maybe he's thankful that you helped him realize something. But what if he thinks after ending this relationship that he's missing out on something? Ohhh and there's still this love of my life talk. I don't know what I should tell him. Go straight forward and tell him the truth?
That he was the love of my life and I never wanted to push him away but was afraid of management and scared from myself and our family's reaction. And that seeing him got my old feelings to boil up and I want nothing more than kissing him? But that would scare him away.
The other option would me that I tell him that I thought I truly loved him but it probably was just friendship and that's why I reacted the way I reacted. But that would hurt him. And I promised myself that I wouldn't let him get hurt again. Not from me, not from anyone else.
Shit, I probably have to take the way that could scare him off and destroy our friendship ultimately. Fuuuuuuuuuck
The door opens and I look up to see my former bandmates standing in the frame with smug smiles on their faces. As good as it's possible with my arms wrapped around Harry, I flip them off.
Zayn motions that it's time to go and I sigh, not wanting to wake Hazza up. And of course, the boys aren't leaving us alone and if I do it the sappy way then they will tease me for the rest of life. Ok, I'm overexaggerating but still... I don't think I have the heart to wake this sleepy boy up. Argghhh.....
With a grunt I try to entangle myself from Harry and get out of between him and the couch without waking him up. It doesn't work out the way I planned it.
Halfway up, nearly out of this tiny motherfucking gap, Harry turns around and hugs my middle which causes me to nearly topple on top of him. I hear the boy's suppressed giggle but I'm not able to laugh now. One wrong movement and I squashing his beautiful face. Carefully, very carefully, I pull myself up and make him loosen his arms around my tummy. He grunts, clearly unhappy and tries again to cling onto me. When I quickly move away to the ground, I can't help but feel a bit sorry for him. Niall, Zayn and Liam are still giggling and if looks could kill then there would be three dead bodies lying next to the door. Zayn mouths a "smitten" in my direction and I grin, knowing that it's true. He looks taken aback, clearly expecting some backtalk but I only lift Harry up into my arms. He clings onto me and mumbles "mine" just as I walk past the boys. I turn red as they now start cooing and poking my sides.
"I'm fucking ticklish. I don't want to let him fall, stop it!" I hiss. Never tickle my sides.
They all hold up their hands in surrender but the smug smirk never leaves their face.
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In the car that should bring us to the airport Harry clings onto me like a little child and I see no other option than strapping me and him together in on one seat. Not very safe, don't do it, children.
Soon we arrive at the airport and I then have to wake Harry up. I can't carry him across the whole airport without getting noticed. He will have to walk with his security and we sneak passed all the people and try not to get noticed.
Ignoring the other boys, I softly shake his shoulders while quietly mumbling into his ear: "Sunshine, wake up. Come on. We're at the airport." He doesn't budge but the boys start laughing hysterically. Apparently, I didn't say it quietly enough.
With a roll of my eyes, I now say out aloud.
"Come on, Hazza, they're teasing me. Please help me out." With a groan he yawns cutely and then nuzzles his head into my neck.
"Why 're they 'aughin' s'loud." His voice is muffled and he sounds like he just woke up. Bingo, he just did you idiot.
"They are teasing me. Come on Haz, you need to get up."
"You know you still owe me a talk?" Fuck, yes, I know.
"What about? Bees and flowers? With a demonstration?"
"NIALLLLLL." I gasp. He did not just say that. I feel Harry tensing against my shoulder and I cradle his head in my hand, petting his hair to relax him.
"Haha, very funny. Hilarious. I don't care if you want to believe it or not but it actually is on a serious topic."
"Protection?" They all say at the same time.
Well played. I see them high-fiving each other and grin at my crazy friends. I love this bunch.
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America, 01.08.22, "the talk"
We finally arrive at the hotel. It was a way to long journey. Harry slept well and is now ready to torture me and getting me to talk.
We leave the boys by themselves and walk to my room. But not without Niall yelling after us: "Use protection." I think they all know that it is something serious but they act like they don't to not make the situation even more tense.
"Soooo....."
"Soooo...." fuck this is awkward.
"I listened to you and now it's on you to fulfill your part of the deal." Yes, I know Harryyyy. I'm just searching for the right words.
Harry's Pov:
I really have to know what he meant with this sentence. It burned itself into my brain and I can't forget it.
"And I also know that I haven't been there for you for such a long time and I'm so sorry for that but I don't think you wanted to see me anyways because I made a mistake that I regret daily because it shooed away the love of my life."
He didn't understand that what I wanted most these last years was him coming to me and explaining the situation.
"I'm... Well, I.... Sorry, I don't know how to say this." It's weird to see the normally self-confident and sassy Louis being so timid.
"Take your time." I'm a patient person. I really want to know what he meant but I will not rush him. It's silent for a while. It seems like he's trying to gather his thoughts. Then, he suddenly blurts out:
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said that morning a few years ago." Well, that took an unexpected turn. I look up at him and see unshed tears glistening in his eyes.
"I was afraid of our family's reaction. I was afraid of how the fans would react. I was afraid to admit to myself that I was quite possibly bi. I always wanted to make everyone content. And because of that I broke the heart of the person that was the most important part of my life." He's bi. What he said all these years ago wasn't what he truly meant. He's sorry. The tears are spilling out of both our eyes now.
Louis' voice grows louder and he speaks with more determination.
"It took me nearly 2 years after leaving the band to acknowledge that fact. And then it was already too late. As soon as I was sure I googled you to see how you were keeping up. You did perfectly well and were successful with a beautiful girl by your side. I knew you didn't need me back in your life. It would just destroy everything you built up yourself. So I stayed away. Tried to live a happy life. But you were always on my mind. I scolded myself because I knew it wasn't ok towards Eleanor. I tried so hard to be a good boyfriend. When she cheated the first time, I thought you always had faith in your relationships so why shouldn't I. I tried again. And as brutal as it sounds, I was nearly happy when she cheated the second time. I then had a reason to ban her from my life. You also came back into my life and I saw how much I missed and I could've killed myself for missing so much precious time with you. You were the love of my life. I couldn't stop thinking about you all these years, even if I tried to ban these thoughts. You were always there. And when I saw you again the butterflies just woke up. That's why I told you that you were and still are the love of my life. You're always in my heart, I meant that."
The last sentences were barely audible. I can't believe it.
"Harry? Please say something." His voice breaks and when I look up, I see through tears how he slowly starts to get up.
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Hope you like it :)
Have a nice day, sweetie (now I feel like a grandmother) <33
~N
12.10.22