I'm sorry if this is pretty short. If my town doesn't get hit by a tornado tomorrow, then I will update False Claim.
Say 'Aye' if you read False Claim, and comment what you like about it if you do.
Enjoy The Chapter and excuse my mistakes.
Chapter 30: Fears
It was the worst five to ten minutes of my life. I waited, feeling like I was going to explode. I leaned on the counter and anxiously clutched my phone. The timer was going to go off in about 10 seconds.
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1
Negative
~~~
Twenty Hours Before
"Baby she cried so much. It made me feel bad." Aiden said.
He was telling me about how he and Adam took Hope to get her ears pierced. "Well she looks adorable now doesn't she?" He laughs, "Yes. I'll send you a picture." I could hear Hope in the back babbling. "Put that down." He tells her. I could just picture Aiden scolding her. "Has she started walking yet?" I asked. "No, but she's trying. I'm trying these exercises that I learned in baby class to get her to. She's not cooperating though."
I just imagined Aiden taking care of our baby. Today was the day I get the test. I was getting ready for class, but I snuck in a call to Aiden to remind him that today was the day.
We have been talking all week and I don't want to get his or my hopes up that I'm pregnant.
I will take care of him or her while I'm away, but that doesn't mean I won't be stressed. It will be stressful a lot, because I'm here and he's there. Aiden got to experience his first pregnancy with Drew, and I bet he was there for her every beck and call. For me, it won't be like that. I can't call on him in the middle of the night when I'm throwing up. Or I can't have him lay beside me when I want to discuss baby names.
I wanted to do all of that, but when the time was right. When I felt prepared and when he does as well. He says football is going good, but he's worried about Hope and his traveling when his team gets back into playing.
"We'll work it out. I know we will. We'll work out this baby situation as well." I say for encouragement.
He agrees. "I love you Nia, I have to go give Hope a bath, but I'll call you later on today."
I tell him I love him too and hang up. I didn't feel as nervous with wild symptoms this past week, but I had my moments where I believed I was pregnant. The smell of yogurt was making me want to gag, and I was stressing myself out a lot.
"Take it easy today, love." Piper told me before I left the room. I hugged her goodbye and told her I would text her when I get off work. I had to head into work right after my last class, so I was pretty busy today.
As I was walking to my class, my phone rang. It was Beth.
"Nia I'm glad I caught you." The urge to tell Beth about my possible pregnancy was huge. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't want to take the spotlight off her wedding with my maybe child. That wouldn't be fair to her or me. "Hey, what's up?"
"Do you think you'll be here by the time I have my engagement party?" She asked.
I think about it, "I'm sure I will Beth." I said, excited for her. I was sad that I was missing the beginning of her planning, because that's like a dream for all best friends, but I'm sure I'll definitely be informed when I'm back. "Hopefully, I don't want you to miss the engagement photos too. I want you and my mother there. And two months after that, we're going dress shopping." I smiled, "I'll definitely be there for that. Class is about to start, I'll call you when it's over."
~~~
"Miss Gardson, please stay back when the bell rings." My sociology teacher asked. I look up at her and she nods. "Yes you Miss Gardson. Please stay behind." Seconds later, it rings and she releases us. I stay behind and watch the rest of the student walk out. I needed to hurry if I was going to use the bathroom and go to Creative Writing. It was past the courtyard and up more flight of stairs.
"Yes ma'am?"
She sits down at her desk, "You have been sleeping in my class these past days. Now I know I'm not boring, but I will not have a student sleeping in my class. I don't care if it's towards the end of the school year Miss Gardson, you do it again, and I will see you out of this semester."
I have slept in her class, a couple of times, but I sat in the back. I didn't think she could see me over George who was a big guy with a loud voice. He was nice to me, and woke me up whenever the teacher was coming. He let me copy off his work if I missed something and always made jokes about Americans. It didn't bother me, because everyone does it.
"Do you understand?" I nod, trying to get out of there so I could still have to time before I was late. "Now go." She said. I leave the classroom and just ran my next class. Mr. Jones loved me, but hated when people were late, even his favorite student.
I get in just before the bell goes off. Mr. Jones looks at me as he closes the door. "Have a seat Miss Gardson." I quietly go to my seat and pay attention. When a sharp pain ran up my butt, I jumped, knocking over my notebooks. Everyone in the class goes silent, and Mr. Jones stops reading the novel he was looking over.
"Miss Gardson, are you alright?"
I pick up my things and a guy helps, picking up one and passing it to me. "Yes sir, I just um, it's a little cold in here." It's always been cold in here, but I would have rather lied than told him I just felt like someone kicked me in the ass, literally. "I'll turn the air off." He does so, and everyone is still quiet. I felt embarrassed and on the spot. The air comes off and the room warms up a little. He winks at me and finishes the book.
~~~
My last class rolled around and I was packing up with everyone else. I nod to my teacher and prepare myself to go to work. My back was hurting a little and I was tired. I set my books in the passenger seat and grab my work shirt from the back. I was glad my windows we're tented, because I didn't have time to get through traffic. I unbutton my plaid shirt and take it off. I pull the black short sleeve shirt over my t-shirt and took my hair down. I fluff it out and start up my car. I sigh, and look behind me to back out.
As I'm driving there, my phone rings. I answer it on a stop light and put it on speaker. "Hello?"
"Hey Honey." My mother said, her voice coming out of the speakers in my car.
"Hi mom, what's up?" She's quiet for a second. "Mom what's wrong? Are you okay?"
She has Lupus. I don't know what it could do it her, what could happen to her, and what she is going through. My mother has always put me first, as her only kid; she has been there for me always. I wanted so bad to be there for her, but I'm not.
I wanted so badly to tell her that I may pregnant, but I wanted to be sure. I wanted to be absolutely sure that I was pregnant with her grandchild. I know how she feels towards Hope. She loves Hope, as her own blood, as much as I do. I know she will love the idea of her only daughter having a baby, but I wanted to be prepared. I wanted to be ready, and right now I honestly wasn't.
"Yes Nia. I'm fine, I went to the doctor and I'm fine."
I believed her. "Okay mommy." The conversation wasn't so gloomy after that.
She asked if I've talked to Beth, she asked if I knew he and Adam were getting married, she asked if I've spoken to Aiden, and when Hope was turning one.
"In November I believe. I don't know the day, but I will ask."
I felt like a bad stepmother not knowing what day she was born. The whole stepmother situation was okay, but I knew I would never want to intrude on the maternal relationship Hope had with Drew while she was in the womb.
Those are probably the memories she remembers at this age, and as she grows up, she will forget them. I'm sure Aiden will keep her informed of her real mother, because I don't want to overstep that boundary. I don't want Hope to grow up forgetting her mother. No matter the envious feelings I have for Drew, even though she didn't cause them on purpose, I don't want to be that kind of mother. That's why I wanted to focus on being a good mother figure to Hope, before I have to be with my own baby.
"That's okay, I'll just ask Aria."
I made a turn and parked in a spot. "Aria? Drew's mother?"
I knew about Aria, but I've never met her before. I wondered how it was seeing Hope, and seeing how much she looks like Drew. I bet it was hard, but she didn't love Hope any less.
"You've met her?" I asked. I turned the car off, and wait for her reply.
"Oh yeah, you haven't? oh sweetheart, she's a wonderful lady. She and I spent some time together when I offered to watch Hope. Cheyenne told me Aiden has been busy with school, so he needed someone to watch her. I agreed, of course and brought her to work with me. The people at the vet shop were surprised at first, because they thought you had a baby when I told them I was watching my granddaughter," She laughed, "However I cleared it up and Wren says you need to visit him when you come back down."
I looked at the clock, I needed to go inside. "I will, did you tell him I was moving back?" I wasn't trying to rush her, but I needed to get inside before it started raining.
"Yes, speaking of that, are you going to live with Aiden? Or living with us until you get settled back in?" I go inside and consumed with the loud noise of people. It was a lot for it being early.
"I don't know mom, but I'll have to call you back when I'm off work." She stopped and apologized for keeping me on the phone so long.
"No it's fine mom, I love you." I put on my apron and scope out the place to find John.
"I love you too sweetheart." I hang up and put my phone with my purse. I knock on Sarah's door and clock in. "Is John not here?"
She shakes her head, "No he called in today, said he thinks he caught something and can't come in. Jazmine, Charlotte, and Ben can help you. Allison is doing the bar, so just go jump in and help a table." I nod and get to work.
~~~
As I was coming back from taking dirty dishes and sticking the tip in my pocket, Jazmine stops me. "You got a call." I look at her confused and she offered to take my dishes. I go to the phone, "Hello?"
"Hey baby mama, how was your day?" I laugh at who it was.
"John? I called you earlier and—"I know I missed it and then I called you back and you didn't answer." I shake my head at him, "Where are you?" I lean my head on the wall, ready to here all about his night. "After you left, Jazmine and I stayed late," I looked at Jazmine; she didn't look the least bit tired. "And what happened?" I asked. He grumbled, "Let me finish."
I do and laugh at how hilarious he was. He said that he and Jazmine didn't hook up, but Ryan came by, trying to make up. He saw Jazmine leaving and stormed in John's house upset. They started arguing and John told him that Jazmine and he didn't have sex. Ryan didn't believe him at first, but gave in when John told him he was cute when he was mad. I didn't wanna hear past that, because I knew what came next.
"You are so crazy." I said. John laughs, "We were drinking and watching Netflix after that. I woke up with a massive hangover and with him lying by my side. I honestly didn't wanna get up."
I agree, "I know how you feel."
"Enough about me love. Are you still going to get the pregnancy test today?" I checked the clock; I had an hour before I got off. I told John, because he already suspected just like Piper. He questioned me just like she did and I just blurted it out. He comforted me and listened when I told him about how the possibility made me feel. "Yes, I got one more hour and then I can get one. You'll be one of the first people to know. Of course after I tell Aiden." John laughs, "Alright, give me a ring when you find out. I'll let you go." I say goodbye and hang the phone up.
I sigh, "One more hour, Gardson. One more hour."
~~~
Present
"Oh my Goodness."
I let out a huge sigh as my nerves go away and replaced with a different feeling. I sit down and look at the test. It said negative. I wasn't pregnant. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I didn't know if it was tears of joy, or just tears of relief. I freaked myself out this whole week and I'm finally faced with my answer. An answer I was hoping to receive. This answer told me more things than it realized.
That I needed to be more responsible. I love Aiden, but I can't handle another one of these scares unless I was prepared for it to say positive. This time I wasn't prepared, and that's why I was so scared for myself and the future if things had been different, if I would have waited and the test did say positive. I would have cried like I'm doing now, but out of fear.
I didn't want to do things wrong, I didn't want to fail. The scariest thing after having the kid is raising it. They learn, and feed from you. You nurse and love them. They crawl and walk with you. You support and hold them until they can do it on their own.
Now my reason for tears changed. I felt scared and frustrated. Maybe being with Aiden and him having Hope is pressuring me to feel this way. I knew the moment I found out about him getting someone else pregnant, that it wasn't going to be easy. Kain was my distraction, but I couldn't get over the strong feelings I had for him. I know that I broke up with Kain for Aiden, no matter the traumatic situation he was in with Drew dying, and no matter the circumstances with him having a child now, I chose him. I did it because I love him too much to just let him go like that again.
Not a lot of women would though. Not a lot of women would consider still loving a man, because they can't adjust to his life as a single parent. I didn't want to be that women who gave up on him, because it was hard taking care of myself, and a kid. I didn't want to be that woman that just couldn't handle taking care of someone else's kid, because it wasn't their own. I didn't want to be that woman that couldn't connect with the kid as their own.
I wanted be the woman who will be there for Aiden. I want to be the woman who will care for him, cherish him, and love him, because he was who he was. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The man I wanted to marry, the man I wanted to complete a family with. And the man I planned to live forever with. Aiden Thomas is the man of my dreams, and I'm happy to be in this Weird Relationship with him, living this weird life, in our weird forever.
~~~
"No mixed bun in the oven." I confirmed. I was laying down in the dark. Piper left after I had my episode in the bathroom. My head was on the pillow and I was looking up at the ceiling. The room was quiet except the trickle of rain outside. It was quite soothing though. It helped me relax.
I heard Aiden give a defeated chuckle. "That's great."
I smiled, even though he couldn't see me. "I didn't want to be the only one that felt that way." I moved to lie on my side.
"You aren't, Nia I love you, but the thought of taking care of another kid, made me think back to Drew. How vibrant and healthy she was. How life-changing it was to watch her grow as Hope did inside of her. All of that was going to be taken away from me for a month. And I know how you feel about school. I know how determined and head strong you are about your dreams and living them out like you let me do mine. I know the baby would have drained you of that ambition of continuing anything until you had it. The baby would have set your life on hold, the life I know you wanted. You have done things for me, that I didn't deserve. You cared for me when I was a raging mess, you loved me when I didn't think I could feel love, and you believed in me, even though it lead to the both of being heart broken. And for that, You, Nia Gardson, are the love of my life."
The butterflies in my stomach were overwhelmed with his sweet words. He understood my hesitation and my fear from all of this, and that's all I wanted.
"Of course I want children with you eventually, but—"I know Nia. I want the same. Having Hope was life changing, I wasn't certain, but I knew I would be prepared to take care of her. You will make a great mother, to Hope, and any other little ones that follow behind her." He said.
My heart swelled. "And when that day comes, let's hope I'm calling your Mrs. Thomas and you're calling me Mr. Thomas." He replies. I laughed, "I love you Aiden." I heard rustling and he tells me to hold on. I wait for a second and try not to drift off.
"I'm back," I open my eyes to the dark wall. "Aria wanted me to help her put Hope in her bed." I open my eyes all the way to the mention of Aria again.
"Oh She's there?" He responds with a yes and I tell him about my mother and what she said.
"Aiden I can watch her all through the summer while you're busy with practice. It is not a big deal." I said, trying to convince him. "I don't want you to just be doing that Nia, I want you to be you. You don't have to watch Hope all the time. That is what Brenda is for. My sisters are old enough to watch themselves; Brenda basically works for me now. I'm not trying to have her repeat my childhood. That's the last thing I want to do." He starts to spout things about him already becoming his father, letting football get in the way of taking care of Hope.
"Aiden stop. We will work it out. I promise. I love you, and I really getting tired, so please stop stressing yourself out." He listened, telling me he loved me and goodnight.
~~~
Later on that night, at two o' clock, I wake up with sharp pains in my butt. I go the bathroom and granted with the thing I was missing for the last week.
Question and Comment Time! :D
Awww. So what do you think?
Did you like how I title referenced all three books?
Do you think Nia has a right to be scared to be a good mom?
What do you think is going to happen next?
How do you think it's going to end?
Until Next Time, my lovelies, pray for me so my house doesn't get damaged in all the tornado watches we're having here in Oklahoma.