My mother immediately drops the dinner plate she was drying off, as well as the towel itself, the porcelain breaking the silence with an unearthly shatter. Then she stares at me for a few seconds before she backs away from me, a look of disdain on her face.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she demands of me. "Who are you?"
"I think you already know who I am," I reply softly, trying not to let the situation escalate even more. "After I left for university, I went through some...changes."
"And I suppose the next thing that you're going to say is that the boy out there with your father is Francine?" my mother huffs sarcastically, crossing her arms as well.
When I don't answer her, her posture stiffens to one similar of a tree.
"No...."
"Yes, mum."
"Both of you?"
"Yes, mum."
My mother sighs, and she slowly sits down at the table to process everything. I swear, sometimes she can be even more dramatic than me!
She doesn't say anything for a long time, and at some points I can see tears form inside her eyes. Whether they're in mourning for the old me or acceptance for the new me I'll never know, I guess.
"So this is really you, now?" she finally asks, and I feel like I can breathe again. "I can't make you change your mind about it?"
"No, I'm afraid not." I smile softly. "I feel really happy now that I'm my real self now."
"Well, good for you, I guess," my mother replies flatly. "I want you and...Francis gone by the time I count to ten, then."
All of a sudden, it feels like I can't breathe anymore.
"Wh-WHAT?"
"I made my opinion on this very clear, remember?" my mother answers firmly.
"I-I know, but-"
"But what?" my mother snaps. "You thought that my opinion would immediately change if I saw you?"
"Yes, actually...." I whisper, hanging my head in shame as well.
"Then you were wrong!" my mother tells me.
"Can't you give me a chance, at least?" I try to persuade her, but my mother shakes her head in refusal.
"No!" she denies. "I can't!"
"But you must!"
"If God wanted you to be a man, He would have made you one!"
"Now, hold on! You're not being fair!"
"I don't care!"
"I'm your child!"
"Not anymore!"
Those last two words crush me completely, and I feel faint.
"Mother...."
"Don't call me that!" she hisses, looking away from me as well. "I'm not your mother, either! Not anymore!"
I feel my lower lip quiver, hot tears stinging the corners of my eyes as well.
"Fine," I answer hoarsely. "If that's how you really feel, fine!"
I begin to walk away from her, but then I pause.
"You know, ever since I left home," I add, "I've been the happiest I've ever been. So I'm not going to let someone like you ruin that."
I hear my mother choke back a sob, and I immediately know that I've hit her hard with those words.
But I don't care.
If she wants to disown me, that's fine by me!
I don't need her anyway!
~~~~
"I'm sorry she said all of that to you," Francis apologizes when we get into his car. "You didn't deserve that, especially from your own mother!"
"It's fine, Francis," I assure him. "It really is. I don't need her approval, especially when it comes to my happiness."
"I suppose you're right," Francis agrees reluctantly, "but it still sucks. Is there...anything that I can do to make you feel better?"
"Honestly, I just want to go back to campus," I tell him. "I'm sorry, but right now, I'm just...not in the mood to do anything fun anymore...."
Francis nods silently, clearly understanding my situation.
"Back to Paris it is, then."
And off we go.
~~~~
My dorm feels so quiet and empty with Alfred gone.
His loud and obnoxious voice would be so welcoming right now, compared to the awfully dull journey Francis and I have just had on our way back.
Francis invites me to stay with him in his dorm, but since it was built for three people instead of just one or two, it felt too big for me. So I politely decline the offer. Besides, I just want some space to myself after everything that has happened today.
As much as I like Francis, especially now that we have gotten to know each other more closely after finding out who we used to be, I can't be around him right now. I know it sounds mean, but he reminds me too much of myself, and to be honest, I do hate myself.
A lot.
Because of me, my mother hates me now as well. Hell, she disowned me! I know it's not something that I can control, but it still hurts!
I wonder if I'll ever be able to see my father now, too. What if my mother tries to prevent me from talking to him, or they get into a divorce over me?
Oh, that would make me feel even worse!
I glance at my guitar sitting in the corner, but for some reason, I don't feel like playing it right now. So, I get dressed into my pajamas and curl back up in my bed to sleep.
Perhaps I'll feel better in the morning, after I've had a good night's rest?
~~~~
Plot twist, I don't feel better, and I think Francis knows it too.
"Arthur, let's go out today," Francis tells me. "It's not good for you to lock yourself inside your dorm all day."
"What's the point?" I ask him. "Thanks to my mother, I'm not sure I want to enjoy life anymore!"
"Oh, now you're just being dramatic," Francis rolls his eyes, turning serious again quickly as well. "Listen, I know what depression is like. I've been through it myself, remember? So that's why I'm suggesting we go out and get you some fresh air. It will make you feel better, I promise. If you don't keep your metabolism moving, you'll turn into a frail and unhappy human being, and that's not who you are, Arthur Kirkland. You're much better than that."
I look at him and see that he's one hundred percent serious, and sincere.
"Thanks...." I reply quietly. "Let's go, then. Wherever you want."
Francis cheers and smiles happily, and I can't help but to smile myself.
The way Francis makes me feel is just...amazing, and I want to feel that way for as long as I only can.
~~~~
The first place Francis takes us to is a local cafe' that he really likes. He talks to the barista in French, and something he says makes her giggle and himself laugh.
Man, I really need to learn French. I know some basic words, but it's hard for me to conversate with anyone here because they speak too fast, unlike at home, where we speak much slower and articulated.
When Francis returns, I look at him with confusion as I take the drink he ordered for me into my hands.
"What was so funny?"
"Hm?" Francis hums, soon registering my question. "Oh! The barista asked me if you were single, and I said that you were actually with me~ Then she said that we're a cute couple, and I told her I thought so too!~"
"What?" I reply, shocked and annoyed. "You can't just tell random people that! Besides, we're not dating! We're just friends!"
"But I thought you loved me!~" Francis answers, fluttering his eyelashes as well. "Doesn't that count?~"
"You haven't even asked me out yet!" I huff, turning my head away from him as well. "It's not official until you ask me out!"
Jeez, he's such an idiot! Telling that barista we're a couple when he hasn't even asked me out yet? Ugh! How rude!
"Then be my boyfriend, Arthur," Francis says abruptly, immediately bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Wh-what....?" I stutter quietly, looking at him again.
"I want you to be my boyfriend, Arthur Kirkland," Francis repeats kindly. "More than anything in the whole world."
I feel my heart beat quickly inside my chest, as well as my cheeks heat up.
"I want you to be my boyfriend too, Francis Bonnefoy." I smile softly. "It will make me very happy."
"There~" Francis nodded with approval. "Now it's official!~"
"Indeed it is~" I agree, feeling my smile widen instantly.