[Jeongin pov]
I had finished packing up my suitcase and wheeled it down the stairs to set by the front door. My grandparents waiting for me in the living room.
"It was nice having you for the holidays dear." My Halmeoni said as she gave me a hug. "Tell your mother I said hi for me. She hasn't been returning our calls."
"That's cause her and dad won't make up their mind about being divorced or being back together." I joked in a harsh tone.
"Aish. You're mother and her obsession with that man." She shook her head.
"Tell me about it. I have to deal with it personally."
"How do you feel about it?" Halabeoji asked as he stood from the couch, using his knees as support.
"I love both my parents. I just wish they would choose one and stop with the on-off thing. It's effects more than just them and I don't think they see that." I shrugged.
"Love blinds most people. If we can even call what they have love." Halmeoni said with the shake of her head. "Anyway dearie, your brother is waiting for you. Off you go, you don't want to miss your train."
"You have your identification and ticket right?" Halabeoji asked me, making sure I was completely prepared.
"Yes, sir." I smiled and bid them goodbyes with long hugs. It's probably be another year or two before I'd see them again. My mother was picky when it came down to sending me off to my grandparents.
I wheeled my suitcase out of the house, my brother leaning against the trunk of his car, waiting for me to get closer before popping it open and lifting my suitcase in neatly.
"Thanks hyung."
He nodded to me and gestured me to the passengers seat. Today he wasn't speaking. He often had days like that. Where'd he'd just go mute entirely, mainly because of how he was feeling. He started doing that ever since our little brother passed.
"Not a good morning hyung?" I asked and he shook his head. I rubbed his shoulder when he sat down in the drivers seat and he offered me a small smile at the gesture.
We learned that he suffered from depression when he was younger. Only after two years of him being completely mute. It took two years for our mom to do something, probably because she was two busy figuring out if she wanted to remarry our father. I feel like this would've been easier on him if she'd noticed sooner. But shit happens right? Parents never learn do they?
The ride was silent as to be expected. The only noise was the faded sound tires against the asphalt. The sound of the blinker came of with that soft tic tic tic tic tic tic. Followed by the harsh tic as it stopped.
I watched out the window as the station was as busy as usual. Families and other sorts of crowds flooding in and out. But I noticed one thing in particular cause how could I not... Hyunjin and Felix were waiting for me at the entrance.
My brother pulled up the drop off lane and he sat there for a moment so I turned to him.
"If you need me, call me okay? You don't have to talk or anything, I can talk for you. I just don't want you to feel alone."
This time he gave me a full smile and nodded. We hopped out of the car and he unloaded my suitcase. The second it hit the ground and before I could grab it, he pulled me into to a long and endearing hug. Despite his choice to not speak at the moment, I knew exactly what he would say if he chose too.
He pulled away and waved me off, I turned to be greeted by the two faces I loved seeing the most. I lifted up the handle of my suitcase and dragged it along with me as I walked towards them. Felix ruffled up my hair and Hyunjin placed and arm behind my back as we walked into the station together.
Going back with them on the same train was going to be a more enjoyable ride instead of being by myself. Over the Christmas break, I've gotten closer to both of them. Emotionally and physically.
As we checked through security and towards the platform, I stopped for a second. My eyes catching a glimpse of someone in the crowd board a different car of the same train.
I didn't get to look at them long enough before I disappeared. But I could've sworn it was...
"Innie! Come on!" Hyunjin called out for me, he was a few steps ahead, stopped to wait for me to catch up. "Everything alright?" He asked, catching my facial expression.
"Yea.. I just thought I saw someone I knew. I supposed I was probably wrong though." I couldn't help but not believe the words I said. It looked too much like him.
"Okay. Well let's just board the train." Hyunjin grabbed my hand and we boarded with Felix. Putting our luggage in the overhead compartments.
Choosing who sat where in our row wasn't difficult, I got sandwiched in the middle. Hyunjin has to be by the windows and Felix likes the isle seat.
It already instantly looked like Hyunjin was making himself comfortable enough to fall asleep. So I laid my head on his shoulder and tried to do the same.
Felix had his hand on my thigh and he rubbed circles with his thumb in a soothing way. His eyes were locked on his phone, so him putting some of his attention on me gave me butterflies. Hyunjin's arm wrapped around my as I buried my face into his side.
It was early, and I didn't sleep well last night considering it was the first night I had to stay home. Since New Year's Eve the three of us have been camping out in Hyunjin's bedroom. Endless cuddles and attention. I'd sleep soundly with them, their breathing patterns almost matched and it was calming too Know they were beside me. But last night was weird to be without them and now I may have to put up with it in the dorm.
As the train lurched forward a little to start the journey, Felix's hand tightened around my thigh and Hyunjin hugged my shoulders to keep me from moving with it.
With having Hyunjin as a pillow and Felix comforting me on the side, I knew I was gonna be asleep this entire trip. Hyunjin's breathing away seemed to slow to a resting pace. So I tried to follow in his footsteps, straight to sleep.
—
The air was chilly. The long dead leaves crunching under my feet as I walked through the trees. The sun shining down on me through all of the bare wooden limbs. I could hear water running, a creek.. but there wasn't one in sight.
The winter birds sang their songs and their wings made soft flapping sounds as the chased each other through the hair. The cold air not bothering them one bit. Frost counter everything in layers, making the leaves under my bare feet stiffer. Everything was frozen to the touch.
The sound of his laughter filled my ears as it echoed through the forest. So I picked up my pace, skipping through the trees towards the sound of him.
No matter how long it's been. I could never forget the melody of his voice.
I found him, he back to me as he danced amongst the frozen woods with animals surrounding him. Birds, rabbits, even a fox.
I stared and watched as he dancing with a laugh. His fluffy brown hair becoming messy. He stumbled a little to avoid stepping on the fox that had wiggled its way under his feet. His eyes landing on me.
"Well, well. Long time no see." He smiled and it was the purest form of light.
"Hey, you." I said, shy as he walked up to me. He was almost half a foot taller. But that was the only thing that could ever be intimidating about this giant made of sunshine and rain-bows.
"Why are you here, Jeongin?" He asked me, lightly gripping my wrist.
"I don't know."
"Clearly you do. You wouldn't be dreaming of me.. if you weren't thinking about me." He smiled, his words stinging unintentionally.
"I.."
"After all this time.. why are you thinking about me now?"
"I don't know."
If He's the past, why can't I break free of him?
——
I jolted awake as I felt a hand in my shoulder, shaking me. I turned to see Hyunjin smiling down at me. We had arrived at our destination.
I held my arms out and his lifted me out of the seat and onto my feet in the isle. Felix already had our bags and we walked our way of the train. I rubbed my eyes and yawned as we exited the station.
"San is already waiting for us outside." Hyunjin said as he read a text message from his phone.
"Thank god. I haven't seen him in months." Felix sounded relieved, he turned to me and combed his fingers through my hair to fix the stray strands that were sticking out. "Did you sleep well, Innie?"
"Yea. I can't remember my dream anymore though." I sighed and frown, trying to see if I could remember even a glimpse of what it was.
I gave up as we reached San. He was borrowing a school vehicle, we assumed. Our luggage going into the trunk and and we all climbed into the backseat as his boyfriend was occupying the passenger seat.
"Hi, Joong!" Hyunjin said as he patted the guy's shoulder.
The car erupted with conversation and questions about our holiday breaks, but I didn't put much input as I could feel my brain pulling me back towards sleep.
I could always catch up with them later. Hyunjin noticed and carefully took of his jacket and laid it over my upper body, kissing my temple before turning back to the conversation.
There was one thing I managed to say before drifting back to sleep.
"I'm not ready to be back."
——
[A/N]
Finally posting this chapter! Next chapter will be interesting to say the least.
I hope you all enjoy! Imma start writing the next chapter!
I love you all! Take care of yourselves.
Til next update, Honeybees!