Samantha was surprised at my order.
“Pardon? You want me to set an official schedule for you starting tomorrow?”
I nodded. “Yes. I have already discussed this with the emperor. The major event is over, so I should have the time to carry out my duties again.”
Luis seemed concerned.
She agreed with Samantha, “But your highness, you are too overworked. You also fell from a horse just before the celebration. You got sick on the second day of the ball as well. I think you should take a little break for now.”
Elza nodded emphatically. Yulia didn’t say anything, but she seemed like she was thinking the same. I wondered how Agnes would have reacted, but she wasn’t here in the room at the moment.
I was thankful for their concerns, but I replied to them simply, “Soon, the dowager empress will return.”
“…”
A heavy silence fell.
My maids looked tense. They knew very well what my situation was like.
The dowager empress was planned to return in four days. She was not a young woman, but she planned on going back to work only three weeks after giving birth.
It was obvious why. She needed to be in action to maintain and gain more power. It had already been a month since she left the main castle.
I could still constantly feel the threat of assassination despite the dowager empress’ absence.
The last time she attempted my murder was through the Aeal family. It ended with me almost dying and the entire Bonafit family being burned to death. Even after such a gruesome and cruel deed, the dowager empress was planning to return like she did nothing wrong.
I was in fear when she wasn’t even around, so what would I do when she returned?
This was why I felt the need to act fast first.
For the past two weeks, Lowson had very well taken care of me. I felt good, and it was time to go back to work.
“Phew…”
I still didn’t know if I would be able to return home. I expected that I would have to wait a very long time until I got an answer from the priestess.
If it turned out I couldn’t go back home… I had to live in this world forever.
If that was the case, perhaps it wasn’t so bad to be with Lucretius.
After the first day of the ball when I cried in his arms, I began to think this way. Lucretius kept his promise to me. He arranged the meeting for me with the priestess and didn’t interfere at all.
His behavior made me fall for him, at least just a little.
Initially, I planned on escaping this castle even if I couldn’t return home. This was what I asked of Lucretius at the beginning.
At the time, I wanted him to help me run away.
Now, if I had to live in this world… I was beginning to think staying with Lucretius could be a good thing.
I didn’t plan on letting him know how I felt. What I needed to concentrate on was establishing myself as a powerful figure in this castle.
If I would live in this world, I figured I should learn more about it first.
I knew this world had very different political and social systems than 21st-century Korea. However, my knowledge of this kingdom was minimal. I had lived here well over a year, yet I was only just beginning to learn and understand the system.
What Lucretius asked me to do was more symbolic than anything else. It wasn’t really a job.
I expected it to be very similar to what the first ladies did in Korea. They would visit the orphanages and the poor around election time. It was just for show.
I was right, but I also learned something new. I realized I made some wrong assumptions about this world.
It was understandable that I didn’t know a lot about this place. When I first arrived here, I was found by the Duke of Aeal. He was one of the least influential nobles, but still the head of an entire colony. He lived in a castle and had countless servants.
Now, I lived as the wife of the Cransian emperor. Cransia was the most powerful and richest kingdom in this world. There was no doubt that I lived in luxury.
When I first met with the poor, it was shocking. I became speechless.
“…”
“Your highness?”
The official helping me raised his head in confusion. He was acting very carefully around me.
He said to me with his nose and mouth covered with a perfumed handkerchief.
“I apologize for the unsavory scene… Please bear with me just for a while longer.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine.”
I was visiting a place that resembled a homeless shelter. Poorly made temporary tents were everywhere and a few metal pots were being used to make a thin soup that didn’t look edible.
People still lined up to get a bowl of this horrible meal though. Every single one of them was wearing badly-worn clothes and didn’t have any shoes on. The ground was riddled with filthy feces.
To be honest… I thought I was very unlucky. I was transported to this world on the day of my SAT and was sold to become the ugly old emperor’s concubine. I almost died a few times since then.
I thought I worked very hard to get to where I was despite the incredible hardships I had to face.
However, watching these people here, I had no choice but to admit I was very lucky. I felt ashamed.
What would have happened if the Duke of Aeal didn’t find by?
What if I wasn’t sold to the former emperor?
… If things didn’t happen the way they did, I could have very well been one of the people here waiting for a bowl of gruel.
It didn’t mean I felt thankful to the Duke’s family. They still tricked me and tried to kill me.
However, I was thankful for being lucky.
I knew I was being selfish, but it was the truth.
I couldn’t imagine being one of these devastatingly poor people.
***
The political and social systems in this world were rudimentary at best. They were extremely underdeveloped, even compared to the olden Josun era of Korea.
Rombrook’s idea of refugee center was shameful. It consisted of a few worn-down tents against the outer castle wall. It barely protected the people from the rain.
Many didn’t even have any form of shelter. They just sat on the bare ground and only stood up to stand in line for a bowl of gruel, which was offered once a day.
Some walked around to beg, but they were often ignored or even attacked by the soldiers for being a nuisance to the nobles.
It was not a life.
The part of the kingdom they lived also was filthy. Rombrook didn’t have a good sewer system, and they forced the poor to live where all the filth gathered.
All they asked me to do was to visit the area and smile.
I couldn’t believe it.
That was it? Just wave my hand at them and smile? Then return to my luxurious bedroom, eat fancy meals, and wear silk clothes?
I didn’t know much, but I knew this wasn’t right.
Samantha said to me quietly, “We can now go back to the castle, my lady.”
I asked blankly, “That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“The previous empresses also just looked around and that was it?”
“Many of them didn’t even do that. The dowager empress certainly never did.”
“…”
I couldn’t think clearly.
Samantha asked again, “What would you like to do?”
I bit my lips.
What should I do? How should I do it? What can I do?
… I knew one thing for sure.
“… I will decide after I look at the entire place again.”