*Disclaimer*
this chapter is a little personal to me, so you may feel free to skip this chapter. I just relate to Jisung so much, he's my everything, really. You could say he saved me. All of the members did. Although, I'm just feeling a little lonely and lost right now.
I apologize for the solemn disclaimer, but I have nobody to rant about my issues to, so here I am pouring my heart out here within these chapters.
Who hasn't felt lonely in their life?
Genre: not sure 😃
Word count: 1.k
***
You sat in the darkness of your room on your bed, staring at your wall across from you. You were completely submersed in your thoughts.
Just a few seconds ago, you were in a dream. A hyper realistic dream at that.
It took place in your old school. You were surrounded by all of your friends and even strangers whom had someone with them. A significant other.
But you were alone.
This has always been your worst nightmare. Finding out that you have nobody for you. No love. All loneliness. And it terrified you.
Your heartbeat was the only thing you could hear as you sat in the darkness of your room, not knowing what to do. You couldn't fall back asleep because you feared of going through that again and you didn't want that at all.
You finally turned your lamp on that was standing on your nightstand and took the bedsheets off of you. Getting up off of your bed, you grabbed your blanket by your desk and left your room. You couldn't stay in your room alone with your endless terrifying thoughts.
You wrapped your blanket around your body and went down the hallway as quietly as possible before stopping at a specific door. You were hesitant to open it, but you had to before you had a panic attack.
You quietly opened the door and peered inside, noticing Jisung sitting under his covers on his phone. He was clearly exhausted.
"Jisung?" you called out in a soft tone. He whipped his head your way. Not because he was startled, but because of the way you sounded.
"What's wrong?" he asked, pursing his lips with worry as his eyes got big.
After shutting the door behind you, you went over to him while looking at the ground to avoid eye contact.
"I don't want to disturb you, but I just need company right now," you said tiredly, glancing up to look at Jisung quickly, but he was already staring at you.
"You're not disturbing me, are you kidding?" Jisung sat up with surprise. Then he patted the empty spot next to him on his bed.
Jisung lifted the covers as you crawled onto the bed next to him, snuggling up to him instantly. The warmth of the covers soon engulfed you, and so did Jisung.
"Now tell me, what's gotten you so spooked?" Jisung asked, holding you against his chest as he looked down at the top of your head.
You stayed quiet for a moment, contemplating telling him. He might think it's silly to be overthinking about. But you're too close to him to not tell him.
"I don't think I'm going to find love, Jisung," you blurted out, staring out into space at his hand that rested on your arm over the blanket.
Jisung furrowed his eyebrows and pulled you back so he could look at you properly. You only looked up at him with sorrow-filled eyes. It was true.
"Don't say that," he ordered you in a stern tone.
You only felt guilt ride up your throat. Why were you feeling guilty now? Of course he thought it was silly.
"You're too good for thoughts like that, Y/n. Anybody who will get to date you in the near future is lucky to have you by their side." Jisung stated with sincerity, not breaking eye contact with you.
Tears began flooding in your eyes. Jisung meant every single word he said. But it hurt him whenever he saw that you didn't realize how loved you are. Even if that meant that right now you don't have a significant other, you have him and the boys.
Jisung pulled you back against his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head softly. You let his breathing calm you down a little. It was truly therapeutic.
"I'm worried that I'll never find anyone..." you continued, just wanting to pour your heart out to Jisung. But you just couldn't or else you'd end up crying.
"Don't be worried. We're still young, right?" he let out a soft chuckle that vibrated on the top of your head. You cracked a small smile, wrapping your arm around his waist to pull him against you more.
You almost shivered from the sudden warmth of his body. You didn't realize how cold you were until you laid down with Jisung.
"Unlike Chan, he's a total goner," you couldn't help yourself but laugh at his daily joke he made of Chan.
You tilted your head up to look at Jisung. He was smiling down at you. You took a few seconds to take in his beauty before you snuggled back up to him like a koala. He let out another laugh.
"Am I too pretty for you, Y/n?" Jisung asked teasingly. You gave him a nudge in the stomach.
"Ruined the soft moment," you replied with a smile, laying your head on his chest as he rested his chin on the top of your head again.
"My bad,"
After a few minutes of silence, you both realized that you were not going to fall asleep anytime soon. Jisung picked his remote up on his nightstand and held it up like a trophy.
"Howl's Moving Castle?"
A/n: I really mean it when I say that I can relate to Han on another level. It's too much to explain, but I just feel connected to him if you know what I mean?
This chapter was kind of a tiny snippet of how I actually feel rn 😃. I feel like everyone around me is dating someone and is happy with themselves, but I'm over here just sick of myself. I have too many things wrong with me that I feel like I won't be able to fix in order to find love.
My mental state isn't the best right now, I apologize.