(Taehyung)
.
.
Nothing prepared me for the night that Travis tried to rape me. I was at one of his rave parties. There were so many people as he invited all the students from our high school as well as seniors from other schools plus his hard-core crew. You would think that with so many people there that Travis wouldn't have taken that chance to take advantage of me. Well you don't know Travis if you think that.
.
Travis Jr. and I had an acquaintance kind of friendship, well according to my point of view. I was just being friendly around him for my parents' sake. And when I say 'friendly' I don't mean the romantic kind. I was contented by just playing sports and hanging out at his parties. Whenever his family came over to visit, I would sit like the sweet son that I was and just smile. Travis had other motives in his mind though. He wanted me. And I knew this because he approached me, more than once, twice, trice... My parents were very open and liberal and even though I'm definitely not into guys, they were okay with the idea of me being Travis' boyfriend. At least my dad was.
.
"But mom, I don't like him like that. Please don't force me to be with him," I pleaded with the only person who I knew would understand. And that she did. From the first time Travis put his hand on my leg under the dining table and tried to kiss me in my room after, I went straight to my mother. She told my father, whom at the time was deep into his gambling and drinking.
.
"Oh leave the boys and let them have some fun, eh. It's not like they're going to get married or anything. It's just fun," I could just hear the slurs in my father's voice as he tried to justify what Mr. Palmer's son wanted. My mother just shook her head and told me not find myself alone with Travis. I listened but Travis had other plans.
.
Like I said I was at one of his rave parties and there was heavy drinking, drugs and sex going on. The place was packed and there was barely any room for moving around. I didn't mind because I was grinding on some sweet ladies who were just as happy to be gyrating on me. I love women. Their bodies are so soft and their kisses are to die for. I also loved how they reacted to me: their little squeals or their loud groans whenever I was pleasing them were just divine. Unfortunately Travis would keep himself close to where I was so he could view my pleasure. I caught him a few times watching me and I hated that I couldn't be comfortable around the girls with him staring me down. If he was looking at them, I wouldn't mind. Or if he was paying attention to the guys who were sucking his dick, I wouldn't mind. But he just kept staring at me while getting head. FUCK! I was so sick of him so that night the moment he went off to do something, I quickly took the two girlies and found a room for us. A quiet dark room. YES!!!!
.
"Oh God," the girls were certainly happy to show me how wet they were for me and for each other. I was already inside one of them when the door opened. I heard it but didn't pay it much attention because the atmosphere was just right and the girls were having a ball. And so was I or at least I was until Travis walked in on us. The lights were off and he wore a cap on his head and a different jacket so I didn't recognise him. He came and was actually touching one of the girls. I automatically thought that it was just another party-goer who walked in on us and wanted some action with the girls. I didn't mind and I saw as he began to fuck the girl while I was fucking the other. I didn't think it was Travis because I thought if it was him he might've approached me first. Little did I know was that his façade was to pretend he was into the girls and not me.
.
The girls were going crazy and we were getting them to that point of climax. Then the guy pulled out of his girl and encouraged her to kiss and touch the other girl while I was still fucking her. It made me even hotter seeing them kissing and sucking on each other. When they were sucking on each other's breasts I let go a loud scream. I was coming but then I felt a hand on me. On my leg to be exact and I knew it wasn't any of the girls because their hands were on each other. Then I felt a strong presence behind me. My pants and underwear were rolled down to my feet so I was fully bare bottom naked and this guy's dick was up on my ass. I was so high not just from the loaded amount of alcohol I consumed but from the sex I was having that it took me a few seconds to realise what was happening. When I froze the guy tightly put his arms around me holding me down and whispered in my ear, "I told you, you'd me mine one day." I immediately made out Travis' voice and his threat. FUCK!
.
"FUCK! TRAVIS! WHAT THE FUCK?" I tried to come out of his grip but he was strong. I heard him laughing and then felt his tongue behind my neck. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DON'T DO THIS... FUCKING STOP!!!!" Travis bit down hard on my neck keeping me pinned into him. I quickly tried to get his hands off of me but he held me down and pushed me to bend over. I actually felt his hard dick moving on my ass. The girls by now were laughing as they thought we were into each other but I kept shouting for Travis to stop. He began to dick slap my butt. I was in tears as I thought this was it. I was going to be raped by someone who my family trusted and whom I tried to have some sort of friendship with. My mother's words rang out in my ears to keep away from him. I shouldn't have come to his fucking party. I screamed out the loudest I could hoping the entire party outside would know I was frantically in need. Travis tried to cover my mouth but I bit him and he cussed. He began to slap and punch me really hard over and over and my screams got even more hysterical.
.
"SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!!!" I kept thinking and screaming. The girls were in shock as they looked confused as to what was going on. When they realised that Travis was taking advantage of me they began to cry. Fucking idiots... Go and call for help. But I couldn't fault them. I could only blame myself: I knew Travis wanted me but I didn't think he would go so far. The only good thing about Travis beating me up was at least he didn't get to put his dick inside of me. I prayed to every single being there was and hoped that help would come.
.
I thanked the heavens above because as fate would have it, two of the security officers for the place were passing by the room and heard my screams for help. They barged in, turned on the light and began to question what was happening. Travis had no choice but to let me go. The officers saw the look on my face and pushed Travis off of me. The girls screamed out but grabbed their clothes and ran out. One officer asked me if I was okay and I nodded. They told us to put back on our clothes and they questioned us about what happened. I looked at Travis who didn't say a word but was only staring at me with a smirk across his face. I was so disgusted that I looked away from him and explained to the officers that I was okay but I also thanked them for helping me. They warned us about being drunk and high and behaving in a better manner.
.
I left the party as soon as I got out of that room and I never went to any of his parties again. But I was also ashamed as to what happened. So ashamed that I didn't tell a soul, not even my best friend Park Jimin. Thinking about it, I never mentioned Travis to him at all. I was so ashamed. I also avoided Travis like a plague for years until the day Jimin and Jungkook came out at my party. I was immensely hurt and couldn't believe that the one person I trusted would embarrass me that way. I hated that my best friend whom I knew for the four years I was in university couldn't trust me to tell me that he was gay. I didn't have anything against Jimin liking guys or even with the gay community, I just didn't like they did that at my party and it branded me as having homosexual parties in the future.
.
My parents were totally upset with me especially my mother who also didn't know what Travis did to me that night. She approached me after Jimin's coming out video went viral. "I thought you weren't into those things. Didn't you tell me you didn't want anything to do with Travis?" How could I explain to my mother what Travis did to me and that I was hurt by Jimin whom I trusted? Maybe if I said something back when Travis tried to rape me, then he might've been held accountable for his actions long before he built his sex empire. But at that time I was totally embarrassed and didn't want my family's name dragged through any dirty mud. But when Jimin betrayed me, I went from being embarrassed to rage in an instant. That night I ended my party forthwith but a few minutes after everyone left, I found myself in a bar. I was so hurt and dumb I didn't even realised that it was Travis' establishment. It was one of his new bars and he happened to be there that night. Unknown to me he sent his most beautiful girl to serve me. I fell for it because of course she had big jugs. I was in my glee as I buried my sorrow in the drinks and the young lady's boobs and legs.
.
This continued for a while as I frequented that bar making the young waitress my new Bitna. It was nice to feel her softness and the way she took care of me made me forget everything. She even got me to the point of a highness that I never felt before: I had my first 'taste of the sweet-sweet nose candy'. This girl put it on her nipples and I licked that shit up like fucking powdered sugar icing on donuts. She really got me good and loose that I even confided in her about my situation with Jimin. I spoke about Jimin but said his name was Jake. For some reason I still couldn't think that my Jimin actually did that to me. Saying a fake name made it seem unreal but I did pour out my heart to her because my feelings and emotions were real.
.
My new Bitna seemed really concerned about me as she listened and also gave me advice but later on I found out that she was just doing her job. After I was arrested in Florida, she came to visit me telling me that she saw my face on the television. She told me that Travis had paid her to get closer to me. She said Travis knew everything as the room she would take me had a two-way mirror so he saw everything and had his fill as a voyeur instead of a participant. Thinking about it, I was at least thankful that he didn't try to fuck me again but through the girl he put inside of my head to make my friend pay for what he did to me: hence me 'taking Jimin by force'.
.
Initially that wasn't my intention but when I felt that Jimin was still keeping things from me, I realised that I got him in a vulnerable state with Jeon surprising him at the hotel. I couldn't let that pass. I got so angry and I allowed the drugs to warp my mind. Without the intoxication, I would never... NEVER!!!! I would never hurt Jimin or even Jungkook for that matter. But that day I finally felt like I had some sort of power over a situation and I wanted both Jimin and Jungkook to pay for what they did to me. Unfortunately that plan bounced back to bite me in the ass. My plan to make my friend pay for what he did to me backfired and I ended up paying the price for it instead.
.
After being charged for almost raping Jimin, my parents threatened to disown me and donate my inheritance to charity. My mother intervened even more into my life and she assured the judge that she was satisfied with his decision. I was sentenced to stay in their celebrity prison for one and half years and paid the five thousand maximum fine. I was also ordered to go through a drug rehab programme. That really hurt my mother because she believed that I was different and wouldn't become like my father. Seeing her cry in court really-really sobered me up. I realised I needed to fix the fuck-ups that I did and I began with Jimin. I tried to contact him because after I realised exactly how I hurt him, I was deeply sorry. I regretted everything and I wanted him to know that I didn't mean to hurt him. I wanted to tell him that the drugs and what he did made me so mad that I did things to him that I regretted but could never take back. When I realised that I had become Travis to my best friend, it pained me greatly. I tried to call Jimin but he didn't answer my call and I was warned by the warden not to contact him again. Seems Jeon got to find out and informed my superior gatekeepers. SHIT!!! I was totally helpless and didn't know what to do to make amends with Jimin and Jungkook.
.
While I was in my prison castle, my only outside visitor was my mother. I confessed everything to her, my parties, drugs and Travis' attempted rape. She said she was hurt about what happened to me but even more hurt that I kept it inside all those years. My mother began to show me that there was more to life than revenge or trying to be the most popular person with my peers. She was able to help me to stop harming myself and others. She gave me little personal reflective assignments to do explaining that focusing on making myself better would eventually lead to making it right by everyone I had hurt in the past. She really helped me and once I was clean of my toxins and I began to respond positively to the assigned counselling, I had a very good behaviour record. So after six months in captivity and because of my exemplar behaviour, the judge reduced my sentence and I was allowed to go back home under the care of my mother and that I would continue the counselling sessions. It was then that my life completely turned around.
.
Thinking about how things eventually happened with Travis: his dealings with drugs, human trafficking and the murders of his father and his lover, I'm so thankful that I was able to stand my ground with him. Well at least for the majority of years that I knew him. I would hate to think of how my mother would've felt if I was involved in his criminal livelihood. Knowing that Travis tried to rape that boy in prison and that the young man was able to do what no one was able to do: put an end to Travis' evil. I was thankful for him and I was also thankful for Bitna who surprisingly came back into my life when I needed her the most.
.
Through my family's influence and because I didn't have any other similar cases against me, I was not put on the sex offenders list. I however had to comply with all the various stipulations concerning my release, which included checking into the sex crisis centre. It was hard at first being home but being restricted from the vices I had. It was difficult but I managed. When six months had passed after my release from prison, I was sitting waiting for my scheduled meeting with the guidance officer when I heard a sweet voice. I could make out that voice in a crowded crowd. My big ears perked up and I turned towards the direction I heard her. Then I saw my first love: Bitna. OMG! She was even more beautiful from when I last saw her. What was she doing here? I began to think such wild things: Was she a victim of a sex crime? Was she a predator like me? Or was she working here? It seems the latter was sort of correct. I found out after that she was doing research for her Degree in Education Specialising in Psychology. She was there to observe the session but when she saw me, her eyes became wide as the moon and sun in the sky. Then I saw her tears. She left the counsellor and ran up to me taking me into her arms. I broke down right there and then.
.
The counsellor realising that we knew each other told Bitna that she wouldn't be able to sit in on my sessions. But when we were alone he asked me about my relationship with her. I told him everything. I was through holding back. I was thankful that I wasn't keeping my feelings a secret anymore and I was honest not just with the people around me but with myself too. I also felt that by seeing Bitna that my life was going to have an even more positive change. After my session was over, I saw Bitna was waiting for me outside. She greeted me with a beautiful smile and another big hug.
.
"Tae-Tae. I missed you," she whispered in my ear and immediately my body became like hot magma inside a dormant volcano. She brought on feelings inside of me that I hadn't felt... well since the day she left me to pursue her studies. Then she looked into my eyes and said to me, "We need to talk in private. Is it okay for us to meet sometime?" All I could do was nod and she gave me her number. I was so stunned that all I could do was stare at her. I felt like a little schoolboy again, admiring the hottest girl in the whole world. I knew my cheeks got hot red because when she looked at me, her face became crimson too. "Tae-Tae... you're still so sweet but there are things that I heard and I can't..." and I saw her long black lashes come down as she tried to hide the tears that were falling. I wanted so badly to touch her and wipe her pain away but because of my past horrible sexual acts I needed to keep my distance from her and everyone who could become a potential threat to me getting better.
.
"It's okay, Bitty. I understand. Call me when you're available. Okay?" I reassured her and she nodded. She sensed my hesitation when she tried hugging me again so she bowed instead. I bowed back and watched as she walked away. I turned to walk to the carpark where my driver was waiting for me but couldn't help but look back at her. I smiled as Bitna did the exact same thing. We both blushed and laughed softly waving goodbye to each other. I knew that whoever in heaven heard my prayer felt my sincerity and knew my heartbreak. I had reached my ground zero but now I was being shown that things were going to get better. For an entire year I was focusing on loving myself and getting better and now Bitna was back into my life. My plan to make amends with Jimin might have to wait a little longer but I knew that it was definitely a priority.
.
.