Carter
Elnora's words affected me more than I expected. I'm blaming my body for moving to its own accord, pulling her into a hug.
"What was I thinking?" I mumbled as I make a U-turn.
It's been a long day and I'm exhausted, added by the fact of Elnora's sudden change of attitude towards me. I thought we already established something the night we met. If it weren't for the movie that I need to finish, I should be spending my time with her. Getting to know her is one of my plans after I finish the production, but I need to attend my Dad's birthday before that happens.
Will it happen though? It seems to me that she hates me now. Maybe I fucked up really bad.
I shouldn't have done that.
"Are you okay?"
I glance at the passenger seat. I almost forgot that I'm with my brother, Hezron.
"Yeah." I nonchalantly replied.
He shifted in his seat, seemingly trying to interrogate me. "Something's bothering you?"
I hesitated for a moment. I don't intend on saying things that I'm unsure of, but then again, I'm already sure about Elnora.
"I met this girl and I'm planning to get to know her you know," I explained, focusing my gaze on the road.
I heard Hezron laugh, making me glance again in his direction. "No way. Carter? The timid director? Is planning to get to know a girl? Come on, dude. I mean no offense meant, but you know you're pretty shy at school."
My lips formed into a smirk, "You know how people change."
He hummed, not believing me at all, "She'll be a distraction."
I've thought about that too. Looking for someone to date is not my top priority. I want to bloom in my career. I want to be successful and I don't need any distractions.
"She could be an exception."
"Day will come that you need to choose, Carter."
I shake my head, "Nah, that will never happen."
Hezron never answers after that. We stayed silent during the drive until we arrived at our house.
"My sons are already here. How are you two?" Dad greeted us when we entered the manor.
Embracing him, I gave him a small tap on his back. "Doing great, Dad. How're you?"
"I'm fine, son. Go upstairs, your mom is waiting for you."
I nod and look back at Hezron, "You coming?"
He shook his head, "I'm going to talk with Dad, it's about the hospital."
Nodding one more time, I waltzed my way to the balcony where I found mom sipping her tea.
"Honey!" Her face lits up when she saw me. She immediately stand up and I went to her for a hug to greet her.
"Hey, Mom."
"So, how's it going?"
I sat on the opposite chair, "Pretty decent. I just finished a movie earlier."
Tiara, my mother, clasped her hands together as she smiles cheekily. "That's good news!"
Every time I get off from work, I always go home for a vacation. It's always been like that every year, but not this year I guess. There is someone more important than a vacation.
"But I'm not staying here, Mom."
She eyed me with confusion, "Come again?"
"I'm going back to New York."
"And why's that?" She suspiciously asked.
"I'm meeting someone," I replied vaguely.
Mom's very observant and I don't wanna give her any ideas about Elnora. Not now that El hates me. She probably doesn't want to see me again.
"Hm, you're going back and meeting someone. Is it work-related?"
Smiling to myself, I shake my head. I stand up ready to go but Tiara won't let me.
I know it will happen, I just shoot my shot.
"I know you, Carter. Who's the girl? Why didn't I hear of this?"
I sighed heavily. My mother is not the type who can let any single information pass her by. "Mom. I know you've heard about the girl I brought to the Home of Literature."
"Well, you haven't introduced her to us. You should have brought her here then. I'm actually disappointed."
I frowned, "What do you mean disappointed?"
"I thought you were bringing her. I prepared lots of things for her."
"Mom, it's complicated."
My mom laughed heartily, "Son. Girls are complicated. Call her and invite her."
Her words piqued my interest. I always wonder why girls are complicated and I've never shared anything with my Mom about it. Might as well find out today, maybe it'll help me understand El more.
"Alright. I mean no," I sat again, "Why are you complicated?"
Tiara tried her best not to smile, but I can totally see it.
"We have lots of thoughts. Full of words that can't be expressed. You know we always overthink the things that seem unimportant to you. Even the littlest thing. If someone is too good to be true, it raises questions. Is it real? Why is he like this? Can I trust him? What does he want? Will he get tired eventually? No matter what you do, we will think about things that can sometimes destroy us."
I remember Elnora's words back at the HoL. Her parents cheated on each other, and it made her feel afraid of falling in love. But I think there's more than that. To be honest, I won't even notice it if I weren't there the day she cried. If I didn't witness her sorrow that night. And when I didn't see her hyperventilating.
"Even the girls who seem happy. They're going through a lot. Actually people in general. But when your girl looks sullen, cold, detached, then she hasn't moved on from the past yet. There's something or probably someone holding her back to move forward with her life. It will take a while to gain her trust." Then, she shakes her head as if remembering something. "You can easily gain her trust, but the problem is herself. She knows she trusts you, but she doesn't trust herself."
I stared at my Mom. The way she talks and explains made me feel like she knew Elnora. My forehead creased together, forming lines. "Why do I feel like you know her?"
My mother heaved a deep sigh, "I peek through her background a little."
"Mom!"
She raises her hand to stop me from whining, "Son. It was a harmless investigation at first. I like her to be honest. I've read her books as well. I'm one of her fans y'know. Just before you brought her to the HoL, I already knew things about her."
Her unexpected confession stopped my system. "You what?"
I can't believe my Mom investigated El. She's like an obsessed fan.
"Mom, you know that's illegal right?"
She scoffed at me, "It is not. Just think of me stalking her Facebook account and Instagram. Just like that son."
"I doubt it. You run a full investigation about her."
Tired of denying it, my Mom clicked her tongue before explaining herself since she was already caught. "I'm curious about the books she writes. It feels like there's a secret hidden in every chapter. You know that the characters resemble the author. No matter how good she writes, there's always a piece of her in every character. The character's thoughts are hers too."
Silence invaded us. I'm trying to absorb my Mother's words. Trying to figure out what it means on a deeper level of understanding because it's not just the words that need to be heard, there's always more than that. There's always something deeper in everything.
"Carter, sometimes words and actions aren't enough for someone who's been through a lot."
"What should I do then?" I heard my voice crack. I feel like my mouth craves water since it dries up.
Elnora fascinates me. I don't know if it has something to do with her love of literature or if I can relate to her in some ways. But there's something about her that always makes me drawn my way towards her.
"I don't know." My mom replied as she gather her things to leave.
I hissed in annoyance when I know where this is heading to, "Mom!"
"Ask yourself. You know her better than I do." She said with such a stern voice I can hardly recognize the sweet Tiara earlier.
"I don't understand."
It's true. Elnora and I just met a few days ago, she shares a few of her secrets. But I don't think that makes me better than anyone who knows her.
"You'll be scraped by words."
I tilt my head to stare at my mother who's giving me a me now a look I can't figure out.
"What do you mean?"
"I know you love literature as much as I do. So you'll definitely find out what I mean by that."
My conversation with my mother stays with me all through the night. It keeps me up til 2 am.
"Scraped by words."
"Don't you think you're being too close?"
"You're too close for my own space. We just met, Carter. Don't act like you've known me enough to do this."
I laughed with no humor when I remember my last conversation with El. I never wanted to leave, but seeing her cold stare, I can't handle it. As much as I want to deny it, her words hurt me. It leaves a sting and it was imprinted on my mind ever since. And it would flash in my mind from time to time.
I was definitely scraped by El's words.