Song: Love Story by Vitamin String Quartet
•
- NANCY GRIFFITHS -
Is it still possible to escape on the next ship to anywhere but here?
"Miss Griffiths!" Lady Danbury calls.
Never mind that thought.
With a false smile, I turn to the dowager countess.
"Lady Danbury!" I greet as she takes my hand in hers.
"After all these years! You look well, dear!"
Lady Danbury, although well respected by the Ton and part of the society I ever so despise, is the only reason for me to come back to London once in a while. Someone with a mindset and attitude like her is very rare and I was truly blessed to be in her presence during the most difficult time in my life.
"Now, I shall hear about your travels tomorrow. For now, her majesty wants to make your acquaintance once more.– Come along!"
Ah yes, queen Charlotte. I recall her not being to keen of Lady Danbury's decision to raise me, but given that the two of them have a long history together, her majesty found it in her heart to, well, tolerate me.
"So soon, Lady Danbury?" I ask as I follow her to the queen, but she doesn't bother answering me.
"Your majesty! Allow me to present to you, Miss Griffiths whom you remember." Lady Danbury says as she presents me with great gesture.
My eyes widen in shock before I take a few steps forward. "Y- Your Majesty." I stammer with curtsy.
"Miss Griffiths! A true delight to have you back in London." Queen Charlotte responds ever so gracefully.
Oh, is it now? As far as I remember, you were responsible for the Insignificant Bloomsbury Child nickname.
"It is good to be back indeed." I quietly respond.
No, it is absolutely not.
"Though, I am curious why it took so long for your return."
Sometimes I wonder if she pretends to not remember how I've been treated in the past or actually lives oblivious.
"I suppose I enjoyed my time being away from all of this so much, I lost track of time." I say with a pretentious smile while the delighted look on the queen slowly fades into a confused glare.
From the corner of my eye I can see three gentlemen observing the whole thing. While two of them seem shocked by my response, the other one seems to be quite entertained.
"Eh- what Miss Griffiths truly means to say, your majesty, is that she was utterly overjoyed with learning as much of the world. After all, it is not every day a woman gets the opportunity to travel. Isn't that correct, dear?"
"Very much so." I respond as if I thought it made sense whatever reason Lady Danbury tried to put together.
I often find myself overstepping my boundaries with my remarks and use of words, but how else am I going to entertain myself in this dreadful place and its dreadful society?
"Right. Well, I am delighted to see what a beautiful young lady you have become, Miss Griffiths. Now Lady Danbury has recently informed me that you are finally planning to find yourself a husband."
She did what?
"She-she did?" I ask as my eyes go straight to Lady Danbury who only grins at me.
Oh, how she gets on my nerves at times.
With gritted teeth, I hide my aggravation with a smile.
"I suppose she did!- Well, if there is one thing I am certain of, it is that I cannot wait to be married." I say sarcastically.
Marriage is the last thing I desire. To be stuck at home obeying orders from a man who won't respect me sounds unbearable.
"Well given your graceful entrance earlier and the way you behave yourself, I am certain you won't find any trouble charming someone since you have already captured the attention of many gentlemen tonight."
And with that, Queen Charlotte finally leaves.
"When were you planning to tell me that the reason I came back to London was to find myself a husband?" I whisper as Lady Danbury locks her arm with mine.
We begin to walk around the room while she forces a dance card around my wrist.
"I decided to take matters into my own hands, dear. You are one and twenty. It won't be long until you become a spinster. Now, I won't force you to be engaged by the end of this season, I promise. If you do not find yourself a love match at all, you may do as you please, but all I ask of you is to at least try."
I sigh as I look Lady Danbury in her eyes.
It is an understatement when I say that I owe my life to her. If she did not take me in after my parents' passing, I would most definitely be a pauper in Bloomsbury. I may be stubborn at times, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for Lady Danbury.
"I promise I will try." I quietly respond.
The corners of her lips curl up as she squeezes my hand. "Very well. Now let us find you a- Ah! Lord Lumley!"
Well, that was rather quick.
I look up to find a tall gentleman with dark curls approaching us. "Lady Danbury.. Miss Griffiths." He greets with a warm smile.
"My Lord." I curtsy.
I have curtsied more tonight than I ever did in the Americas and I have only just arrived.
"Miss Griffiths, will you honor me with your hand for a quadrille?"
•
My dance card is officially full and I am absolutely worn out. I haven't danced this much since.. well, I have actually never danced this much.
First there was Lord Lumley, then Mr Dorset, then a few other gentlemen whose names I have already forgotten.
Luckily, I managed to escape Lady Danbury and Miss Green's supervision by exiting the conservatory through the back. With a glass of champagne in hand, I sneak quietly towards the gardens.
Hopefully no one will notice my absence.
"Are you lost?" I hear someone ask.
Hold that thought.
I immediately turn to see a young man with dark hair and blue eyes sitting on a bench with a single book and pencil in hand. The same man who grinned at my response to the queen earlier.
"Don't worry, miss Griffiths. I won't tell a soul." He responds before closing his book.
Now, how does he know my name?
"How truly grateful I am." I respond coldly, not quite wanting to engage in the conversation.
God knows what would happen if anyone finds out I am alone in a garden with a man. My identity is already a scandal to begin with.
"Have I upset you in some way? You seem quite irritated." He asks with a frown.
My, how observant.
"You did nothing..." I quietly say. "Truth be told, I was only hoping for some peace and quiet after all the dreadful dancing that occurred inside. So, if you could excuse me,"
The man chuckled as if I said something amusing. "Not a devotee of dancing then?"
"It is the whole idea of courtship I am not a devotee of." I quickly respond.
"Please do enlighten me then, Miss Griffiths."
"My opinions would not concern you, sir."
"Try me."
Suddenly, it turns quiet between us as the only sound we hear is the faraway music coming from the conservatory and just like a game of chess, the stranger looks at me, silently awaiting my next move.
"Well if you must know, I think the whole idea behind courtship is nothing else but shallow. The core of finding a partner now in this society is solely based on wealth, perhaps beauty and nothing more. It is finding a wife who will respect their husband, obey them like a slave, mere breeding stock-"
"Shouldn't respect be a part of marriage-"
"Respect goes both ways." I say after he cuts me off. "It is not something one is simply gifted. It has to be earned."
I pause for a moment, contemplating whether it is worth still having this conversation... but he listens. As if truly interested in my thoughts, so I continue.
"Trust me, I do not judge, I do not despise the young ladies inside who wish to be married and I do not condemn the men looking for the same, but what is it truly they seek? I believe marriage should be the result of love and not because it is most profitable."
The mysterious man nods and puts down his book and pencil, as if in thought.
"You are hoping to find a love match then?" He asks with curiosity.
"If there ever comes a time when I am ready, I do wish to be married with someone I love; with someone who loves me."
"So I reckon you are not ready. So why were you out there, trying to find a match for yourself?"
"It is because-"
"BENEDICT?" Someone shouts from a distance.
I immediately run off to hide behind the tree not too far away from the bench. With my hand on my chest, I feel the speed of my heartbeat increase, but I remain silent.
"Benedict, are you out here?" The same voice calls.
So his name is Benedict then. Quite rude of me earlier not to ask.
"Oh, there you are. What are you doing here all alone?" The young man asks Benedict.
"I was- just writing, brother. Poetry in fact."
"Writing? In other words, you were avoiding mother.- Eloise and I made numerous attempts to do the same, but failed. I was forced to dance with almost every lady here tonight." The man sat down next to Benedict with a huge sigh.
Believe me, I do not wish to eavesdrop their conversation, but how am I supposed to escape unnoticed? I shall wait until they leave.
"Not even one who sparked your interest, Colin?" Benedict asks.
How long must I stay put behind this tree?
"Well, I was actually hoping to dance with Penelope tonight to avoid other girls, but I couldn't get to her. Almost as if she was avoiding me. Come to think of it, I haven't been able to speak with her as much as before. Her and Eloise do not seem to be close anymore."
"Maybe she got tired of you using her."
"I never use her!"
Didn't he just say he wished to dance with this Penelope to avoid the other girls?
"You just said you wanted to dance with her to avoid other girls." Benedict responds with a laugh.
My thoughts exactly.
Colin lets out a deep sigh.
"I suppose I did... I am just used to see her all the time.- At home with Eloise for example, but now, it is almost as if she is a stranger."
"It bothers you that you don't get to spend time with her, does it?"
It is almost as if he has feelings for her. Good grief! How obvious can this man be?
"Of course it does. She is my friend after all." Colin responds.
Suddenly it goes quiet. I try to sneak a peek at the bench and to my surprise, the two gentlemen seem to only stare out in front of them in silence.
They have got to be joking!
Finally, Colin clears his throat and gets up. "We should go, brother. I only came to find you to tell you that the carriage is set."
"You go ahead. I still have something to do." Benedict answers as he looks directly at the tree, causing me to immediately shift to the left to be out of sight.
This place will never let me have a peace of mind, will it?
"Something regarding that tree, brother?" Colin laughs.
One wrong move and Benedict will ruin it. He must leave with his brother. There is no need to be concerned of me.
"Everyone is waiting, Benedict. If we stay out any longer, we will not hear the end of it from Eloise."
Some sense this Colin finally speaks. If I have to listen to their conversation any minute longer, I will completely lose my mind.
"Right... Shall we then, brother?" Benedict responds.
I finally hear the sound of their footsteps slowly fading.
Let me wait out here for a little bit longer just to be safe. God, I can only imagine the scolding I will receive from Lady Danbury for escaping once I get back inside.
She was so present to be able to make sure I didn't say anything improper or offensive to any of the suitors I danced with to scare them off. I did try to be at the opposite side of their interests and thoughts, but unfortunately most of them only seemed to be charmed by my, as they call it, unusual character. Hopefully not too charmed for them to be callers at the Danbury household tomorrow.
Carefully, I distance myself from the tree and walk up to the bench where Benedict sat. I scowl at the sight of his book left abandoned.
He mentioned writing poetry to his brother.
So his interests rely on the art of revealing precious truth with words. That is quite surprising, if I say so myself.
I grab the book and take it with me inside to continue my night of terror.