*Not read over b/c no time to spare. Didn't want to break my promise -- see something, say something so I can correct it later*
~
Being brave isn't the absence of fear.
Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.
(Bear Grylls)
~~~~
"If only we could go a day without you getting hurt."
Hayes grinned, still riding the high of excitement, all childlike and angelic. She stared up at her eldest brother, whom was kneeled before her, responsibly cleaning up her skinned knees with a wet paper towel. "But I'm not hurt."
Badly. She wasn't hurt badly enough to recognize that she was, in fact, injured.
Bloody knees tell tales.
But dead men tell no tales.
Austin pressed his lips in a thin line, giving her such a simple look that the girl had no troubles deciphering it.
Really?
Hayes kicked her feet in the air, straightening her legs, trying to prove to Austin that she was A-Okay. "See? Nothings broken. Now can I go?"
She was eager to join Emerson, Francis, and Drew who were competing for the fastest time in line sprints. Dakota was even out there, and Hayes really wanted to see him race against their brothers. Winner would earn the proper title of The Flash for the rest of the day and bragging rights.
When Austin still didn't budge, focused on folding the dirty paper towel into a square as he looked for a clean spot to use, Hayes turned her head to the side to look at Glen. She was looking for his assistance in this time-sensitive matter.
But Something didn't sit quite right with her once Hayes got a good look at his face. This wasn't Glennard, who'd just tell her to rub some dirt on it and walk it off.
Glen looked a bit pale, as he cuddled her hoodie he was still holding on to against his chest.
That took the fire out from underneath her feet, as she came to the realization that she had been ignoring her brother's uneasiness since they arrived. Too caught up in shying away from Emerson for no reason while Glen was stuck on his own dealings.
Forgetting about getting up, Hayes settled back on the bench where she would not move until Glen did. She had originally taken up refuge in the dugout, needing a recovery break from all the baseball excitement. But then Austin saw her bleeding knees and the rest was history. And now, Glen needed her.
Austin had initially wondered why in the world she was wearing her running shorts per usual when she had two thick sweatshirts on, but then he remembered his little sister was an odd ball with certain things.
Hayes watched Austin continue to wipe her knees free of clay and dirt before she felt her stomach rumble internally.
Feed meeeeee.
Her lips took a downward turn, unable to think about anything but food now. For breakfast, She had somehow gotten away with only eating a piece of chocolate chip waffle that she stole off Francis' plate when he wasn't looking and the atrocious glass of milk that Austin still made her drink each morning.
"What's the frown for?" Austin questioned, as he crossed his arms, resting his forearms on his knee.
Hayes placed her hands on his broad shoulders, leaning forward so that her forehead nearly banged against his. "I'm hungry."
Austin matched her whispering voice. "Hi, Hungry. I'm Austin."
"Nice." Glen snorted at the lame joke, reminding his siblings that he was also there.
"Can we get chick-fil-a?"
"Whatever Emerson wants, babe."
"He wants chick-fil-a," Hayes stated with finality .
Spoken like a little sister who knew she had her older brother wrapped around her finger.
Austin held up his index finger, "No. Hayes. Let Sonny make his own decision. It's his weekend."
Hayes slouched, folding her arms across her chest as her frown deepened. When Glen kept snickering at her mild scolding, her hand darted out and smacked him in the shoulder.
Glen gasped. "Woah, not cool, Hayes. Keep your hands to yourself."
Hayes scrunched her nose, wondering when Glen became such a drama queen like Francis. When the boy winked at her with a mischievous smirk, she made a fist and went to punch him.
A large hand caught her smaller hand before she could reach her target, the fingers enclosing around her fist. Austin returned her hand back to her lap.
"What was my one rule for you guys?"
The sound of Austin's voice pulled her fighting gaze away from Glen and to the eldest brother. Hayes wasn't too sure if it was a rhetorical question or not.
Whoopsies.
A sudden jab to her side took her off-guard, especially when it made her giggle instead of flinch from pain. The confusion resolved when another poke attacked her other, very ticklish side.
Hayes was absolutely done for, dissolving into a fit of genuine Sunshine laughter as Austin and Glen tag-teamed against her. That was fair punishment for her for ignoring his rule.
The girl's limbs flailed around as she twisted and turned, trying to protect her sides, only for Austin to tickle her neck and Glen went for behind the knee.
"I'm sorry," Hayes shrieked in laughter, a few tears escaping as reflex from all the giggles. Her brothers didn't accept that apology yet, not relenting. "I didn't hit him! It was a love tap."
Austin snorted at that.
A loud rumbling sound that seemed like a never-ending long five seconds, disrupted their fun.
It startled the heck out of Glen, making him flinch back and his shoulders lift towards his ears. His grip on the sweatshirt tightened, his knuckles turning nearly white.
"That was not my stomach," Hayes said after an awkward second of silence.
Austin could only shake his head as he patted Glen's knee in comfort. That was their signal to leave. Copy, loud and clear.
Thunder struck again, which got Glen up and moving, though not very far. He strolled to the bottom of the three steps that led out of the dugout and onto the field. He didn't climb the steps, instead taking up his pacing routine and walked back to Austin and Hayes.
And since thunder meant lightning, the guys came running over to the side from the outfield lickety-split.
When thunder roars, get your ass indoors.
They knew not to mess around with storms, especially when the equipment they used included metal bats. Emerson and Drew hustled into the dugout, grabbing their sports bags after double checking everything was properly put away.
"Everyone have all their stuff?" Austin called out to them as he offered his hand to Hayes. When she grabbed it, he pulled her up from the bench and onto her feet.
He watched his sister emphatically nod her head in assent, before she changed her answer by shaking her head. Hayes glanced around the dugout, obviously looking for something and when she spotted whatever that thing was, the girl went back to nodding her head.
Hayes dropped his hand, skipping forward to attack Glen with a surprise hug. The boy froze for a second before wrapping his arms around her extra tightly. Their two heads bent close together as they conspired.
They remained stuck together as they left the dugout, Austin following behind them.
"Can we get food now? I'm starving!" Francis ignored Austin's question to ask one of his own.
"What about the shit you were eating in the car?" Dakota commented in a dull tone, his eyes trailing the backs of the blonde babies as they walked away from where he was standing by the railing.
"That would be called a snack," Francis sassed over his shoulder.
Austin nudged Dakota's shoulder to get him moving as he walked past him. "He's okay," Austin murmured.
"I didn't- "
"I know." Austin clapped him once on the back before walking further ahead before the kids left his line of sight. He caught up just in time to hear the tail end of Francis and Emerson harmonizing.
"Hungry, hungry, I am starving!"
Austin waited until their last note to speak. "Sonny, what do you want for lunch?"
Emerson shrugged, easy going as always. "I don't care, whatever everyone wants."
"Alright. Where do we want lunch from?" Austin surveyed the siblings and Drew as they were almost to their cars. They were fast walking, moving with a purpose as it went without saying that they all could tell Glen was a bit anxious. "That includes you, Drew."
Honestly, it was like Drew was another brother. After the third sibling, what's another mouth to feed?
It was an unanimous vote.
"Chick-fil-a!"
Hayes grinned.
Teeheeee, her telepathy powers worked.
Chick-fil-A. I could eat that seven times a day
Where the people laugh and children play
Oh, I'm in love with Chick-fil-A
... Good thing it's not Sunday!
With that settled, Francis took of running, covering the last bit of distance to the car. Emerson's car apparently as he zoomed straight past Austin's car.
"I call shotgun, ladies!"
————
Ah, the miracle of fried foods doing wonders for the soul. Even Dakota was less grumpier than usual.
With bellies full and energy batteries recharged after a quick two hour stint at Emerson's apartment, the siblings made plans to fill their time for the afternoon.
What else but miniature golfing!
Thankfully, the impending storm wasn't doom and gloom for very long. They totally lucked out, as the rain truly started coming down hard only once they safely arrived inside the apartment complex lobby.
Glen stayed far away from the windows, a blanket draped over his shoulders as he distracted himself by engaging with his entertaining siblings. Their voices were loud enough to cancel out the booming thunder.
The sun came peeking out from behind the clouds afterwards, but Glen's mood had still remained a bit doleful.
No one wanted to jinx a return of the thunderstorm by going outside, which is how they landed on the idea of mini golf.
The indoor miniature golf adventure was a glow-in-the-dark experience, and it turned out to be a perfect outing for the competitive Powers family.
Fun for all ages and all temperaments.
And believe it or not, no other scrapes or bruises were obtained by anyone, even with golf clubs and more tiny missiles in play.
Austin was smart and laid down the law of the land ahead of time for Hayes and Co. that they would not be spending a single penny in the arcade that was connected. Saved him from dealing with the grumpy version of his little sister.
The best part of it all was that there was practically no way the siblings could lose the golf balls in ponds or out-of-bounds beyond the property because they were surrounded by four walls. It would have definitely gotten annoying having to keep returning to the front desk for another golf ball.
But, that didn't stop the boys from yelling "Fore!" every couple of turns, forgetting that they were playing putt-putt. Loud boyish belly-laughter accompanied the swing, sending the neon color golf ball soaring into another fairplay.
Hayes wisely didn't partake in that, instead she was engaged with learning how to truly play putt-putt the correct way and dragged Dakota and Austin from hole to hole, leaving her raucous brothers behind.
On the bright side, the family basically had a private tee-time on the golf course which meant their immature shenanigans were not bothering anyone because no one was near them.
Then, like with any human being of the male species, their appetites quickly returned after a few hours of activity. Just kidding, the young brothers were constantly in a state of hunger. That's where Austin's paycheck went every month, his siblings' stomachs.
Correction: Hayes' appetite returned for real food, not just desserts.
So off to dinner they went. This time Emerson put forth his two cents and suggested the local hamburger joint where the televisions were playing the college football game on ESPN. As a bonus, the bar and grill also happened to serve the world's best chicken tenders and french fries ever, or so they say.
Hayes approved.
E A T M O R C H I K I N.
Heehee.
Someone better butter her butt and call her a biscuit, because Hayes was on a roll.
By the end of the night, the siblings safely made it to the humble abode of Comfort Inn and Suites, and checked in for their overnight stay. Nothing screamed sleepover like two rooms with a connecting door. It wasn't a popping weekend in the college town, so the Powers gang was given the sweet surprise of the snazzy 4th floor.
That was the top floor, which was always nice. Nobody liked the sound of people walking around above their heads.
As everyone settled in, the little girl of the group had a bit of a post-ice cream sugar rush which involved running back and forth between the two rooms and launching bellyflop style onto the beds.
It just so happened that this occurred when Austin was taking a shower because he would never have allowed the behavior. Dakota as the next oldest, ignored the responsibility of making his sister act like a civilized human being and simply put his headphones on. The rest of the brothers were also unbothered, intently engaged in their video game on the PlayStation that Emerson brought along with him from his apartment.
Boys and their video games.
🎶Oh, what a night.
Mid November, back in young SC
What a very special time for me
As I remember, what a night.🎶
————
His body thrummed with adrenaline, his brain feeling fuzzy. He felt like he was in a permanent state of anxiety.
This too, shall pass.
It made him want to puke.
This moment won't last forever.
He had to get this done quick, before the Bear came home and whooped his ass. But reality was, Glen knew he wasn't going to finish in time. It was an impossible task. The whooping was inevitable.
It may be stormy now.
For starters, he could barely see, the rain pouring down so heavily that he had no idea what was even a foot in front of him. It didn't help that the outside lights were almost all burnt out, so he had to rely on the moon's illumination to see where to walk.
But it cannot rain forever.
And for finishers, Glen hated thunderstorms. Being locked outside during a few of those bad boys would do that for you. Not to mention, he never knew when the next boom was coming. Just thinking about it made him cringe.
Be strong.
And who the hell waits until the very last minute to put up hurricane shutters? The National Hurricane Center exists for this very reason. To issue warnings in advance of landfall!
The Bear apparently didn't get that memo.
Which meant Glen was doing all the house work in preparation as their grandfather decided to also wait until the last minute to make a store run for food supplies.
Which really just meant beer for the old man.
Hayes of course, volunteered to help her brother right away, stubborn as ever. But Glen adamantly refused. He would never have his sister out in this monsoon. His role was to protect her, not to bring her directly in the path of danger.
The night sky suddenly lit up, the flash of bolt so intricate. Some may even dare to say it was beautiful.
It honestly made Glen want to cry.
Because after lightning came thunder.
One Mississippi,
Two Mississippi,
Three Mississippi...
The boy continued to keep count as he hurried along the side of the house to the back patio. His fingers kept slipping, so he needed to keep stopping to readjust his grip. The metal shutter was digging into his armpit, the thin protection of his sweatshirt barely saving his skin from being all scraped up.
The grass was squishing under his feet, the heavy rainfall creating one infinite puddle. It was an icky feeling but he couldn't dwell on that. He was just thankful he hadn't tripped yet.
His shoes were going to take ages until they were dried again.
TAP TAP TAP.
"Shit," Glen nearly pissed his pants at the sound, though no one would be able to tell since his shorts were already soaked through and through.
When he could finally breathe again, Glen glanced at the house where the noise came from. A lamp was turned on in the living room. Hayes was standing on the inside of the glass patio door, safe and dry, giving him an innocent little wave in greeting.
When she saw him looking at her, Hayes gave him two thumbs up. She leaned close to the glass to speak. "It's 9:46."
"What?" Glen shook his head, unable to hear her.
"I said, 9:46. The time." She tapped her wrist, where a watch would sit.
"What?" His lip reading skills were non-existent.
Hayes held up her fingers, showing him 9 then 4 then 6. Afterward, she crossed her arms against her chest as she twisted her body a little, side to side, letting him digest the information.
Frick.
That meant the Bear would be back soon. The general store closed at 10pm and he's already been gone for a bit.
Hayes saw the look of panic flit across his face. "Let me help."
"No." He hadn't changed his mind about that.
Even if she helped, they still wouldn't finish and then she'd be pulled into the Bear's punishment as well. Glen was not about to let that happen.
What Hayes was going to do and she knew better than to ignore this order, was lock herself in their bedroom as soon as she heard their grandfather return home.
His sister scowled but thankfully did not argue, her stubborn streak staying hidden for the betterment. Glen did not have time to spare to make her see reason.
Instead, Hayes smushed her nose against the door, creating a piggy look.
Glen's lips lifted in a lopsided grin as he shook his head at her antics. He sincerely hoped she would remember to clean the oily marks when she was done.
Gearing himself up, Glen sucked in a breath of air, nearly choking on the rain drops, before exhaling, using his waning strength to maneuver the metal shelter so it was slanted against the wall of the house. Hayes' funny face was now hidden from view.
This was the tricky part, having to balance the bottom edge against his stomach so he could somehow drill in the screws with one hand. His shirt got caught by the heavy sheet and became uncomfortably taut so he tried pulling the fabric by his collar to loosen it up.
C R A C K.
Glen flinched from the thunderous noise, loud enough that he could of sworn it was trees breaking in half. The boy had lost track of counting and now he was paying for it.
The sudden jerk of movement caused the metal shutter to shift against the sliver of his fair skin that was visible, the sharp edge slicing and dicing, leaving a smooth laceration in its wake.
A silent cry left his lips, the instant pain making the boy crumble to his knees. The metal shutter clattered to the floor with a clamorous boom, revealing a confused little girl.
Lightning flashed again, spotlighting the expression of excruciating pain he felt that was displayed on his face.
Another harsh boom followed seconds later.
"Glen!"
Hayes hurried to unlock the door, fumbling with twisting the tiny latch to the side in a clockwise fashion. She tried sliding the door open, facing resistance no matter how hard she pulled.
"Shoot, shoot, shoot," Hayes was freaking out, giving the door another yank. Then she remembered the peg at the top and stood on her tippy toes to reach it and pull it out.
The door slid open much easier after that.
"Glen, are you okay?" Her socks were soaked within seconds of stepping outside. She avoided the metal shutter, carefully kneeling down by her brother's side, her fingers tremoring with fear as she reached out to touch his shoulder.
He had curled up in a ball, his arms crossed firmly against his lower abdomen. When he finally got his breath back from the shock, Glen could only manage to let out a low moan.
He was no stranger to pain, but this killed.
"Glen," Hayes crawled closer, her knees hitting his. Her hand hovered over his, unsure what to do. "Tell me how to help," her voice wobbled with the fear coursing through her.
Glen shook his head, unable to think in full sentences. He could feel his fingers being covered in something sticky, and it wasn't rain.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He was bleeding.
Blood was not his friend.
Do not pass out.
"Glen," Hayes' eyes darted to his face when he hadn't responded. "You- you gotta tell me. I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do. Please, Glen!"
The boy's body was shivering from the onslaught of rain, his fright, and agony. An utter nightmare.
"Glen!"
Hayes' tears streamed down her face as she pushed herself to her feet. She needed to find a phone to call for help. She'd call Stephen Rayon. Yeah, he'd come over, no questions asked. The man treated them like one of his own children.
Before taking off back inside the house, she gave his shoulder a good shake as she cried out his name in one last ditch effort.
"GLEN!"
————
Glen sucked in air, audibly inhaling as he woke up, suddenly alert. He froze, not moving a muscle, until the lack of airflow made him gasp again. This caused him to cough, the sensation of choking on air very unpleasant. His hand came up to his throat, trying to rub away the rawness.
The boy's eyes darted around the dark room, unable to recognize where he was. The disorientation was sending him into a panic as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.
He squeezed his eyes tight as a flash of his nightmare popped back into his head. The haunted sound of Hayes sobbing his name was now going to echo in his head.
Glen's chest rose and fell dramatically with each breath, the sound of him breathing the only other noise reaching his ears.
Red.
Viscous.
Sticky.
He found himself pressing his arms against his scarred side, as if he was right back in the squall of hurricane weather. The heel of his palm pressed firmly over his shirt exactly where his scar was, the same one his brothers found out about by accident.
Instead of meeting dryness, his shirt was soaked, making the boy freak out even more.
Blood.
"Hey, Smiley, you alright?" Emerson's voice was full of sleep, his eyes bleary. But his attention was zeroed in on his little brother.
Not giving any indication of hearing Sonny's voice, Glen slid out of the bed and onto the hotel carpeted floor. He sat on his butt and bent his knees against his chest, the position providing extra pressure to stop the bleeding. When he shifted, trying to squeeze into a ball as much as possible, his left elbow banged against the small, wooden dresser that sat between the beds.
"What's wrong?" Emerson reached over to flick on the bedside lamp, the dull light enough to see. He caught the sight of the analog clock, the red LED display indicating 3:19. He shuffled out of his own bed, which he was bunking with Francis, and crouched down next to the blonde boy.
"Gotta stop the bleeding," Glen mumbled, "Apply pressure. Stop the bleeding."
"What? I can't hear you," Emerson's gaze darted all over his brother, analyzing in seconds. His eyes flickered back to where Glen was clutching his side. "Are you hurt?"
"What's going on?" Francis yawned, rolling over in bed until he reached the other side, where Glen and Emerson sat on the floor in the middle of the two beds. His eyes landed on his brothers, flickering between both of them.
"I think he had a nightmare," Emerson shared as he put two and two together. "Is that it, Glen? I'm here, bro. You're safe. Whatever you saw, it can't hurt you anymore."
Emerson gently pulled on Glen's arm, trying to see what he was guarding in protection. Smiley gave no fight, letting both his hands limply drop to the floor. Emerson took this as a sign to continue, and pushed his knees down slightly so he could grab hold of Glen's t-shirt, lifting it up.
But when he felt the sweat that soaked the fabric, he decided to help Glen by taking the shirt all the way off. If the boy was anything like his brother, the feeling of a damp shirt gave the heebie jeebies.
Emerson chucked the shirt blindly in the direction of the television. He then leaned backward, putting his palm on the floor to keep his balance as he grabbed the blanket straight off of Francis' back and wrapped it around the teen's goosebump-ridden shoulders.
He attempted to subtly steal a glimpse of Glen's injury but the kid didn't give an opportunity, instantly bringing his knees back to his chest, curling into himself as he dropped his forehead atop his knees and his hands covered his ears.
Well, shit.
Fran twisted his lips to the side, watching his brothers struggle for their own reasons. Even with sharing a bedroom with Smiley for the past 3 months now, this was above his level of expertise in dealing with terrors that plagued Glen's dreams.
"Should I get Austin?"
"I... eee-," Emerson grimaced with hesitation before nodding. Their eldest brother would have better luck than him. "Yeah, go get him."
Call in the reinforcements.
Francis quickly ran off, disappearing into the connected hotel room where Austin, Hayes, and Dakota were sleeping. Considering the teen barged into the door frame, making a racket, it wouldn't be long until Austin came.
Sonny sat there quietly in pause, listening to Glen's harsh breathing mixed with unintelligible mutterings. Emerson scooted forward an inch, remaining sitting crisscross applesauce. He clasped Glen's forearm, squeezing once. "I'm right here, Smiley."
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year
I'll be there for you
Within half a minute, Austin was walking into the room, radiating calmness and all signs of sleep gone. He had been prepared, having been expecting something of the sort to happen during the night. From his perspective, Glen just never managed to truly strike the turmoil that was brewing inside him, no matter how resilient he was.
His feet traveled softly on the carpet until he kneeled down at Glen's feet. He spoke in a low, soft tone, "Hey, buddy."
Austin waited a beat to see if his kid brother would respond, but when he did nothing of the sort, the eldest brother lightly laid his hand atop of Glen's head.
The boy flinched away from his hand, almost causing himself to knock into the dresser again. Austin waited, his hand hovering in space until Glen seemed to settle again. Then he returned his hand to the boy's mop of blonde hair, slightly ruffling it.
This time, Glen tensed but accepted the affection.
"Glenny?" A little girl's voice was heard. The brothers, minus the one she called for, swiveled their heads around to look at her. She was half-hidden by the doorway, her fist coming up to rub the sandman out of her eye. Hayes had been in a deep sleep when Francis interrupted, so her mind had yet to fully catch up with reality.
Hayes padded across the room, her socks minimizing any noise that the carpet couldn't. Emerson's eyes narrowed briefly as he recognized the giant sweatshirt she was wearing, the outfit looking more like a dress on her. Which was absolutely comical because their sister would not be caught dead wearing a dress.
The girl made her way between the maze of brothers, smoothly sliding past Emerson, fitting in the tiny space right next to Glen. It appeared instinctual, how the two kids knew exactly how to comfort each other.
It didn't happen overnight.
Hold on tight a little longer;
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Hayes tugged on Glen's arm, pulling it way from his ear enough so she could interlock their fingers together. She laid her head on his shoulder, unbothered by the scratchy surface of the blanket. The simple action grounding her brother back to the present time, her simply being there already alleviating the pain Glen bore.
His sister was real and she was okay and she was here.
Not quite on the verge of delirium yet but no filter to her thoughts, Hayes began chitter chattering mindlessly about whatever floated her boat. She completely forgot about her audience of brothers as she began rambling, the next step to making gains in clearing Glen's mind.
"Today was a good day," Hayes murmured, a flitting smile crossing her face in memory. She hugged his arm to her chest, getting comfy. "We got to play outside during the day and eat Chick-fil-a. Mhmmm. Remember the mac and cheese balls?"
At the sports bar, Hayes ate nearly all of them before her brothers realized they were disappearing too quickly from the appetizer plate. She only had one left by the time Austin cut her off, which out of the kindness of her heart, she had given it to Glen.
Glen lifted his head a tiny bit, enough to rub his finger under his nose. When he laid his head back down, he tilted so his cheek rested on his knee and he could see his sister, not just hear her voice.
"Remember when we were in the same class? With Mrs. Mittins?" Hayes wrinkled her nose. That didn't sound quite right. "Mrs. Smittins?"
"Smith," Glen corrected in a ghost of a whisper.
"Yeah, her!" Hayes' smile returned, her eyes brightening up for the two of them as she remembered a hidden memory. That had certainly been an entertaining year to say the least, when the second and third grade classes were merged as a multi-age progressive program. "She used to say that thing, umm, hold on, it'll come to me." Hayes rubbed her eye, her energy zapping in front of their very beings.
She blinked sleepily at her brother, before the lightbulb moment was reached. She sat up straight, reciting from a year-long memory, "Today is a good day to have a good day. A new opportunity to make good choices, to learn, and to have fun."
Now imagine that screamed by 30 elementary kids on the daily. Mrs. Smith was certainly a saint of a teacher.
Her brothers faintly smiled, that sounded totally like a positive affirmation Colton would use in his 4th grade classroom of gremlins.
She paid no attention to them nor the matter of sitting on the hotel floor, possibly for the rest of the night. Hayes would do anything for her brother.
Austin sighed, leaving the kids be for a moment as he scratched the back of his neck, before standing up. He turned around to the bed that was behind him and grabbed the pillows to put on the carpet. His old man bones were going to ache in the morning.
Rather than Glen get claustrophobic with the hovering, Austin decided to send everyone back to bed.
"You guys go ahead and take my bed," Austin said to Emerson and Francis. "No reason for you two to stay up."
Francis looked at Emerson who shrugged. They were both thinking along the same lines of slumber party with the babies, but it was becoming obvious that Austin was going to veto the idea.
"I'm serious. You won't be missing anything," Austin assured, patting Emerson on the shoulder before firmly grasping. "You did good, Sonny. Thanks for your help."
The two walked over to Francis, Austin embracing both his brothers in another goodnight hug. He watched them slink out of the room, sliding past Dakota without a threat to their lives.
Keeping to the shadows did not hide the concern he was feeling.
Austin wasn't entirely sure when Dakota even got there, hanging out in the doorway as overwatch. Eventually, Dakota pulled his scrutinizing gaze from the blonde babies, briefly meeting Austin's. Kota gave him a quiet head nod before disappearing back into the darkness of the other bedroom.
When Austin had returned to be at the side of his kids, the first thing he noticed was they shifted over somewhat, creating a space for him to squeeze in beside Glen.
The second thing he noticed was Hayes took one of his pillows.
As soon as Austin sat on the floor, the boy's head slowly fell against his eldest brother's arm. Glen's eyes were closed as if he was sleepy but really just hiding away his tear-stained sorrows.
Austin leaned closer when he thought he heard Glen speak. "Say that again?"
"I'm so tired."
Tired of everything.
Austin glanced solemnly down at his brother, moving his arm to wrap around the kid's shoulder while not disturbing their little sister curled up on Glen's right side.
"I know, Buddy," Austin murmured, embracing him a little tighter. "It's okay, just rest now. I got you."
————
For the second time that morning, Glen awakened in bed. It was a more peaceful transition than the last, no startle, no gasps of air, no panicking.
He was simply confused on how he ended up back in bed when the last inkling of memory showed him on the hotel floor.
Not the most sanitary thing in the world.
He needed to shower the carpet grub off before the heebie jeebies consumed him.
His body didn't seem to get that message though, as his head lazily lulled to the side. From this vantage point, he saw Dakota casually stretched out on the other bed, the blankets coming up to a bundle at his waist.
Subconsciously, he lifted his head up, trying to look around the hotel room for Hayes. He remembered her next to him, too, and now she was nowhere to be found.
The movement, no matter how subtle, was caught in Dakota's vigilant periphery.
"Hey, how do you feel?"
The boy was the last one to wake up, though no one blamed him. It was late for him, crossing 10am on the dot.
Another thing Glen realized then, was how quiet the room was, which was typically hard to come by with his siblings.
First things first though.
"Where's Hayes?"
Dakota's eyes flickered to his left side before he lifted his arm up. He pointed at something or someone beside him, Glen couldn't exactly see from his view. "She's Right here."
"What?" Hayes mumbled, emerging from her cocoon of coziness. She had been dozing off while watching a movie on Dakota's phone, sharing one earbud in her ear for sound. When her eyes landed on Glen, she perked up, instantly trying to free herself from the sheets.
The back of Dakota's hand across her stomach stilled her movements, making her frown. "Don't give me that shit. Austin told you to sit here and not move."
As much as she wanted to give him a stink face, she knew Dakota was correct. Instead, she moped to herself, sinking back into the pillows with her arms crossed.
Apparently, Austin did not want to repeat last night's hyperness and have her bouncing off the walls this morning, which apparently, would be likely if she left this very bed.
That gave her an idea.
"Glen, come over here." Hayes pushed herself back up so she could see Her best friend. Very enthusiastically, she waved him over to join their party bed.
Until Dakota smacked her hand down and told Glen to stay, even though the boy gave no inkling that he was going to move.
Stay, like a dog.
Woof.
How rude.
Glen rubbed the heel of his hand against his forehead, trying to erase away a lingering headache. "Where is everyone else?"
"Not here," Dakota stated the obvious. He smirked at Glen's eye roll, happy to see it, in fact. He took it as a sign the boy must be feeling a bit better. Dakota cleared his throat. "They went to get breakfast. You good with pancakes?"
Glen flattened back down on the bed, letting out a long, satisfying exhale. "Yeah."
"Good."
"What kind?"
"Huh?"
Glen turned his head from staring blankly at the ceiling. "The pancakes, what kind did they get?"
Dakota scoffed. "Fuck if I know."
"I told Austin to get you the chocolate chip pancakes!" Hayes excitedly piped up. "And I got the chocolate chocolate chip pancakes! I was going to get the confetti ones but Austin said no. So I got the chocolate chocolate chip instead. Mhmmmmmm chocolate." She rubbed her hands together like an evil villain.
"Dude, why are you so fucking hyper already?" Dakota palmed her forehead, pushing the girl to lay back down. She had been practically asleep two minutes ago and now she was the energizer bunny.
"She probably ate the rest of the chocolate Emerson gave her yesterday." If Glen had to guess.
It didn't bother him one bit, especially not after having to relive that flashback. A happy, hyper Hayes was a much better version to be around.
"Stupid fucker," Dakota swore at Emerson's name, shaking his head as he fumbled aimlessly with his phone. He exited out of the movie, his thumb pressing the off button so it was a black screen.
A certain calmness fell over the three siblings then, each somewhat getting lost in their own thoughts.
The sound of someone clearing their throat regained the attention of the blonde babies. Hayes shifted over, out of the way when Dakota abruptly pulled the blankets off of his legs and sat on the edge of the bed. His hands firmly gripped the mattress on either side of his legs.
"I uh-" He stammered, glancing up at Glen from under his eyelashes. "I owe you an apology."
A wrinkle appeared in Glen's forehead. "Me?"
Dakota swallowed. "Well, yeah. Both of you actually." He could feel Hayes' curious gaze on his back, but it was better that he didn't see her. He didn't want to see the look on her face once she heard what he had to say.
"Uh, what for?" Glen asked, wary.
Dakota kneaded his palms against the bed, his nerves trying to get the best of him. "Well for starters... For being a dick the past month give or take." He winced at his own crude words when he heard Hayes take a sharp intake of air.
"It's alright," Glen immediately brushed him off.
"No it's not," Dakota scoffed, "I'm an asshole at baseline, yeah. But fuck, I just..." Dakota pressed his palms against his temples. "We're fucking tell you not to keep secrets, yet-" He didn't finish his sentence, shaking his head at himself as he glared at the floor. Pussyshit.
Sharing his emotions was not the brother's strong suit, as all his siblings were well aware of. So from the guilt he was feeling at keeping his own scars close to his heart, he acted like a jerk to the babies.
Dakota felt the weight of the bed tilt as his sister must of climbed off behind him. He saw her socks in his periphery as she rounded the bed to join Glen.
The blonde babies sat quietly together, waiting it out for Dakota to get his shit together. When he raised his head, they were mirror images of each other, sitting in crisscross applesauce formation, though Glen was hugging a pillow in his lap.
Now or never, he supposed.
Dakota lifted a hand to scratch the back of his head, feeling awkward and hella uncomfortable. But it was about time they learned the truth about him. They deserved to know. "Emerson told me you were asking about bowling?"
He waited until both kids slowly nodded, confused at first from the randomness of the subject before their minds began remembering Glen's birthday party at the bowling alley.
"When I was your age-ish," Kota waved his finger in Smiley's direction, "like 15-16, I fucked up, big time."
Glen opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it at Dakota's glare. He needed to get this all off his chest now before it was too late to make amends.
"It was after you two were gone for like a year already. Dad basically abandoned us. He gave no fucks that Austin wanted custody. I remember seeing him at the court house for like a minute tops. He didn't care about us. He died like a month later so it didn't matter anyways." Dakota realized he was starting to mumble to himself, and took a breather.
"Anyways, basically life was going to shit and Austin was busy with Francis and Emerson. They needed him more, so I didn't care. Baker was either working 24-7 or with Peyton, and Colton left for college."
And teenager Dakota was left to his own devices.
The beginning of his downfall.
Dakota risked another glimpse at his baby brother and sister, his chest tightening at their mournful, blue eyes. He squeezed his own eyes shut before opening again. He needed to get through this. The longer he kept quiet about it, the more surly he'd become, the guilt slowly killing him. He needed to come clean for everyone's sake.
Glen and Hayes needed to know.
"What happened then?" Glen quietly dared to ask. He was hugging the pillow tightly to his chest as Hayes leaned into his side.
"I Made new friends." Dakota snorted, mocking himself. "Friends of friends of Corona and Mary Jane.
The looks on the kids' faces was a gut punch straight to the soul.
Keep going.
"Long story short, that's why there is no beer in the house. That and it was dad's drink of choice." Dakota said flippantly. "You know, in case you were wondering... well, now you know."
A shiver ran through Glen's and Hayes' bodies, neither having complaints about the lack of alcohol.
Dakota's phone suddenly pinged on his lap, the vibrations alerting of a text message. He briefly glanced at it, a message from Emerson that they will be back in 10 minutes. He dropped the phone beside him on the mattress and clasped his hands together.
Just spit it out, man.
"Anyways," Dakota sniffed, getting back on track. "I fucked up and joined the wrong crowd, which as fucking cliché as that is, it's true. And it absolutely fucked up my mind, even more than I already was." Dakota shook his head, staring at his fingers. "But it was just fucking one thing after another. I didn't even realize how gone I was until..."
He didn't have the strength to admit it to Glen. The boy was smart enough to deduce it on his own. Hayes already knew.
It was followed by a chilling silence filling in the blank.
"So... what about bowling?"
Dakota snapped his head up, nearly giving himself whiplash. Glen was giving him a bypass. He couldn't stop the smirk that formed at the irony. "Yeah, bowling. I missed a social worker visit and Austin was beyond pissed at me. Understandably so, but given, you know, the circumstances, I was shithead about all of it. He went looking for me and low and behold, found me at the alleyway behind a fucking bowling alley of all places."
"I hate bowling," Hayes interjected, feeling like it was important that her brothers were aware.
"We know," Glen nudged her with his elbow.
"I fucking hate it, too," Dakota agreed with the girl's opinion.
"But, you're so good at it," Hayes scrunched her nose in confusion.
"Only because Austin forced me to do it. The man suddenly has this fucking amazing idea and drags me inside, and I bet I was drunk and high as hell. I just remember the bright fucking disco lights and I think I threw up at some point. Or many points."
"Ew."
"Yeah, I know. Austin didn't care. Well, he did, but this was my punishment apparently. He wouldn't let us leave until I beat him in a game."
"How long did it take?" Glen was curious, expecting the answer to be hours at most.
Dakota thought about it. "4 days? 5? I don't remember. Kind of a haze, to be honest."
Hayes' jaw dropped down in surprise.
"Don't look at me like that. We only played like 3 games each time. It took two days just to stop getting gutter balls every fucking time." Dakota rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I'm sorry, alright?"
Shitty ending to an equally shitty explanation that he probably did a shitty job with.
Glen's mind was whirling with all the information Dakota shared, having no control over the thoughts that were flashing over and over again. His hands grasped his head, his fingernails digging slightly into his scalp.
"Glen?" Hayes called his name in a hushed tone.
The boy looked up, meeting Dakota's eyes. "What's the point?"
Dakota's eyebrows narrowed in the middle. "Point of...?"
Glen waved his hand aimlessly around in front of his chest. "The point of all this. You said it yourself, Living in this fucked up world. Hayes and I may not be in hell anymore, but hell is still in us. There's no getting rid of it. Him. Them. The fricking nightmares. I mean, everyone dies in the end, right? So why not now?"
"Wha- what?" Hayes' bottom lip began to wobble a little at the dark words.
Dakota stared hard at his baby brother, as if seeing him for the first time. Seeing himself in him, and that was scary because it meant Glen was at a tipping point.
"Don't you ever fucking ask that question again, do you hear me?" Dakota snarled.
Glen didn't back down. "Why? You thought the same thing, didn't you?"
"Because, damn it!" Dakota's voice rose with his emotions. "I was being fucking stupid and selfish."
"Well maybe I want to be selfish for once!"
"NO! Enough!"
Hayes' yell silenced her brothers, dissolving the tension into heavy breathing.
Dakota lifted his shoulders before destressing somewhat as he exhaled. He took a step forward, close enough to jab a finger in Glen's chest. "You listen to me right the fuck now. I had those same thoughts, alright? And you know what? You know what Austin said?"
"What?" The boy's tone no longer held the fierceness it did.
Dakota breathed a little easier. "There are people who love you so fucking much, you have no idea. That is all that matters, okay? They are the goodness in the world. In your world.
And it's worth fighting for."
~~~~
*September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month* You matter. No matter what.
Chugga chugga choochoo.
Back to school, I gooooo.