You suffer from really bad nightmares and a bad case of PTSD, Bucky us the only one who knows.
It is after endgame but somehow doctor strange found a way that everyone will be alive again. And Steve never left to Peggy. And now everyone are alive.
Warnings: PTSD, Nightmares, vomit.
Words count: 700
It happened again. The people screaming, then vanishing, then Tony, Steve, Natasha and Loki came. They screamed at you. Blaming you for their death.
The it was all the others who survived. You saw them screaming at you too. "You killed them y/n", "YOU ARE THE DEVIL"
You felt as you were falling from the roof you were standing on. Then you woke up. You hand searching to grip something. "Y/n?" Steve storms in.
You hold his hand, tight enough to leave marks. Your eyes searching for your bucket. "Bucket" you said. He ran to give you your bucket. You slid to the floor and started vomiting, everything you ate these two days.
Steve kept rubbing your back and yelling you that you were fine. You started to believe that for a moment. You didn't realize that he called your bsf Bucky.
"Steve"
"Buck?"
"Doll? What happened?" You wanted to replay an answer but instead you threw up. "Steve what happened?" Bucky asked concerned.
"I heard her yelling and I came to her room, I saw her crying looking like she's dying" he said. He still rubbed your back and told you that you were okay.
"She had a nightmare I think" he said. "Okay uhh put on a movie and don't tell her that she's fine and okay" Bucky sounded out of breath.
He was out of town. With no car. "Why?" Steve said. There was silence but there was Steve's little voice that ignored Bucky and told you that you were fine.
"STEVE STOP SAYING THAT. IF YOU'LL KEEP SAYING TAHT SHE'LL BELIVE IT AND WILL CRY HARDER LATER. SHE IS NOT FINE STEVE!" Bucky suddenly yelled.
He was out of breath. "Did you put the movie?" He calmed himself down. "He's holding the phone" you sobbed. "THAN PUT THE GODDAMN MOVIE STEVE" Bucky yelled.
Steve gave you the phone and started picking a movie. "Steve make her food. I'm on my way doll tell me what happened?" Bucky sounded soft when he talked to you now.
You sobbed. "There was soo many people that blipped. Then they came and they-they" you couldn't breath. "Breath, doll. Breath" he guided you trough the phone.
"I'm okay" you whispered to yourself. "No you're not doll. You're not okay" he said. You sobbed more. He was right, you're aren't okay.
"I'm on my way doll." He said. The movie started to play. Steve put a random movie that seemed nice. Bucky suddenly hung up.
But then your door was busted open. He was there, rushing towards you. "Steve I told you to give her food" he said as he hugged you.
You sobbed in his chest. After a few minutes Steve brought the food. He understood that he wasn't needed there and just making things worse.
You couldn't eat. You back away from Bucky a little. "I'm okay tha-"he didn't even let you finish your sentence. "You're not. Doll, you aren't
Okay. And it's okay not to be okay sometimes. Even if you don't want therapy, I can assure you that one day, it will be okay. But not now" he softly said, hugging you again.
You stared to cry more. "I'm not okay"
"You're not okay"
"Please eat, doll" he said. You shook your head. He took an apple and slowly let you take a small bite. It continued like that till your eventually finished the apple.
He kissed your forehead while you kept watching the movie on the floor.
And for the first time in your life you realized that you aren't okay.