~A
"Autism." It was the only thing Kat needed to say for me to understand why Peter acted the way that he did, why he barely talked or interacted with anyone, or why he'd throw a tantrum whenever a loud noise would disturb him. I let the chopsticks in my hand drop back into the box I was eating out of, looking up at her. I didn't wanna say I felt sorry, because I knew she's probably heard that hundreds of times.
"When did he get diagnosed?" I asked instead, hoping I wasn't pushing the limits of what she was willing to share with me. I was nothing but a stranger to her after all, a girl that appeared in her house out of nowhere along with her brother.
"About a year ago, though I had noticed unusual behaviors on him since he was a baby." I glanced at Peter, immersed in his own little world as he quietly chewed on some chicken, eyeing the rest of the things on his plate carefully. Niall's attention was on him too, though he wasn't really taking part in mine and Kat's conversation.
"Is there any treatment available?" Kat pushed her chopsticks around the contents of her box, not really picking anything up. She shook her head, looking down at her hand.
"Not for someone his age. Maybe when he's older, he might start some sort of medication. For now, I can only make sure he gets enough nutrients and that I take him to therapy. But it's hard. I have classes most of the day, and I don't have time to get a job between that and taking care of him." I didn't even need to ask either of them to know who was paying for Peter's therapy. I glanced at Niall, who had turned to look at his sister. He had a stern look on his face, as if he was telling her to stop.
"What are you studying?" I ignored his reaction, deciding to continue my conversation with Kat in an effort to get to know her. She seemed willing to talk to me so far, showing signs that she may end up liking me. She chuckled at my question, leaning forward to place her box onto the coffee table.
"He hasn't told you anything about me, has he?" She rose a brow at Niall, a gesture he ignored and continued eating.
"No, sorry. We don't really talk about our lives that much." I nervously laughed under my breath, feeling cornered over my answer. We haven't explained to her what I was to him exactly, or how we even knew each other. But she wasn't dumb. Niall has barely left my side, it was so painfully obvious there was something going on between us. But if it was something serious, something long term, I would've known about his sister's life. The fact that I didn't probably gave away that our relation to each other was a lot more complicated than what she initially assumed. Kat went to speak, about to answer my question before Niall cut her off.
"She's a ballet dancer. Has been since she was little." He revealed, making me dart my eyes back to Kat. Her lean, muscled figure made sense now, her prominent bone structure and slender frame being one a professional dancer would dream of possessing.
"Oh, so now you wanna talk about me?" She scoffed, an amused smile adorning her face. Niall rolled his eyes at her, turning back around to look at Peter as he tossed a half chewed piece of chicken away to grab a different one. I turned to her, giving her my undivided attention as I anticipated more information on her life.
"But yes, I'm a principal dancer at the New York City Ballet. I've been living here for about three years now, and my work schedule has definitely been more hectic lately. I do make some money from that, but Nikki helps a lot." It was still odd to me to hear Niall be referred to with that name, but it helped remind me of his life in Russia, of how much of a different person he probably was. He had changed his name to get away from that life, and that meant his sister must had followed too. That had me curious, urging me to make my next question that steered the conversation to a completely different subject.
"Have you kept your old name?" I could see the surprise on her face, the furrow in her brows and the widening of her deep, hazel eyes. She turned to Niall, tilting her head in question.
"Как много она знает?" I instantly knew that whatever it was she was telling him, I wasn't supposed to know about it. He turned to her, that harsh stare I knew he could possess making a return.
"Только о клубе." She nodded at his response, leaning back in her chair as she smiled at me.
"What's the name you know him as?" She asked me this time, evidently careful to not reveal too much as she looked to see what I knew first. I cleared my throat, placing my half eaten box of fried rice on the coffee table.
"I know him as Niall, though I do know his actual name is Nikolai Holshevnickov. And I guess your real name is Katerina Holshevnickov." She nodded, her smile not dropping as she turned towards him again.
"You're still using grandpa's first name?" He nodded, clearly not really keen on talking during this conversation as he continued eating his noodles slowly. Kat turned to me again, crossing one leg over the other.
"Everyone here knows me as Kate. I know that keeping my first name wasn't the smartest decision, but I changed my last name to Hayes. No one in the company knows where I'm from, or about Peter." My eyebrows rose in shock. I didn't expect her to keep her child a secret from the world. I nodded in understanding, turning to look at Peter as he got up from his spot on the floor and went to his mother. He reached his hands out to her, sniffling quietly as his face became red.
"Sleepy. Bed time now." Kat sighed before picking him up, propping him onto her hip.
"Say goodnight to uncle Nikki and his friend." I bit the inside of my mouth at her words, not missing the knowing look on her face.
"Goodnight." Peter giggled, hiding his face with his hands. I waved at him as he blushed. Niall told him we'll see him tomorrow before Kat started walking away.
"I'll get your old room ready Nikki." She spoke before she was gone behind the wall, leaving me shocked. I stared at Niall, who had picked up his phone as he ran his tongue over his teeth, trying to get food residue out.
"We're staying here?" He didn't even spare me a glance as he hummed in confirmation, nodding his head.
"And you think that's a good idea?" I scoffed, sinking my back into the couch. Niall turned to me sharply, one eyebrow raised.
"Why would I stay at a hotel when I have my own place?" My eyes went slightly wide in realisation.
"Do you own this flat?" He shrugged, tossing his phone aside on the couch.
"I bought it in Kat's name. It's technically hers. But there's three rooms. One for her, one for Peter and one that's mine." I chewed on the inside of my mouth as he talked, picking on the cuticle of my thumb with my nail.
"I think it would be better if I got a hotel room. I don't wanna intrude in her life." I tried to explain, my voice weaker than what I would've liked. Niall scoffed, shaking his head as he stared at the distance.
"Good luck finding one at this hour, princess." He got up, picking up his empty can of beer and walking towards the connected kitchen. I stared at him in disbelief, following his every movement as he threw away the can and got a new one from the fridge.
"You're not gonna stop me?" I instantly cursed myself for saying that, well aware of how stupid and irrational it sounded. He turned to me as he leaned against the closed fridge on his shoulder, opening the can before taking a large gulp of beer.
"No, because I know you're gonna come to your senses sooner or later. You don't know your way around this city and you haven't been able to find a room for hours. There's no way you're gonna go out there on your own to look for a place to stay when you can just stay here." He sounded so sure about it, speaking incredibly casually. I hated how right he was, how unbothered he acted over this because he knew I really didn't have any other choice. I glared at him as hard as I could, my nails digging into my palm out of frustration.
"Plus, you enjoy my cuddles too much to give them up." With a wink and a cocky smile, he walked back over to the couch. I kept staring at him in disbelief, my mouth hung slightly open.
"I hate you." I clenched my jaw, making sure he knew how much he had managed to aggravate me in just a matter of seconds. His response was to chuckle as he sat down right next to me again.
"Sure you do." He mumbled in sheer amusement, placing his can on the table before he picked up his phone again. I huffed, scooting to the corner of the couch to create more distance between us. I could see him smiling from the corner of my eye, which only annoyed me more.
Kat came back a few minutes later, and we spent about an hour or so getting to know each other. She told me all about her life as a professional ballet dancer, and we connected over our mutual love for dance and music. I told her that I used to dance when I was younger, but was primarily focused on modern dance and hip hop. She asked about how Niall and I knew each other, carefully tiptoeing around the question I knew she really wanted an answer to. But she didn't say it, only learning that Niall worked as a member of my band on tour and was part of my songwriting team. I ignored him for the entirety of the conversation, pretending like he wasn't even in the room. And I think his sister noticed it too, a subtle smile on her face as she kept looking between us.
Niall was the one who got up before the conversation steered towards any sensitive matters, mentioning how it was late and we should all go to bed. I was reluctant to join him in his room, aware that his sister would be just down the corridor. We had been avoiding giving away anything that would indicate there was anything going on between us, though his sister knew that there was. But sharing a bed with him under her roof felt like it was shattering the illusion I had been trying to create that Niall and I were nothing to each other, an illusion I was trying to convince myself his sister had believed when I knew she hadn't for even a split second.
Coming into his room once he opened the door, I took a pause to glance around. Unlike his place in London, this surprisingly showcased some personality. The walls were painted a pale green, so light it almost looked white. His bed was pushed against a wall, right under a large industrial window that looked out into the city. Next to it was a dresser in place of a nightstand, squished between the bed and the door to the wardrobe. And right across, a messy desk filled with piled folders and documents, stacks of books and a few electronics of recording equipment. The only other piece of furniture fitting into the room was a tall wooden bookcase right next to the desk, stuffed to the brim with old looking books and an array of knick knacks that looked to be souvenirs from all around the world. The room felt like he hadn't left even for a day, which was odd.
I slowly walked further into the space, the fuzzy rug in the middle of the room warming my feet as I stepped over it. Niall had already begun taking things out of his backpack, placing them on his dresser for easier access. I thought it felt weird coming into his house in London. This was even weirder. For the first time, I felt like an intruder, like an unwanted parasite. Awkwardly, I opened my carry on and sat on the floor to dig through it for my toiletries, fishing out a shirt and some shorts to sleep in as well. I didn't say anything during that time, listening to the faint sounds of Niall walking around his room from behind me.
"So I'm guessing I'm getting the silent treatment tonight, aren't I?" He chuckled, his words making me look over my shoulder towards him. I didn't respond, and that had him smiling in amusement as he went towards the door.
"Make yourself at home." He winked, leaving with his toothbrush and paste in hand. I took the time he was gone to change and organise my things a little, braiding my hair to keep it out of my face as well. This city seemed to be a bit hotter in temperature to what we had been dealing with so far, so I took the liberty to climb onto the bed and crack the window open. The cool breeze definitely helped, faint city sounds seeping in along with it.
Once he was back, I left for my turn in the bathroom. And he was already in bed when I returned, sitting up propped up against a pillow he had pushed against the wall and smiling at me. I rolled my eyes at him, leaving my toiletries on top of my opened carry on before going towards the bed. I climbed onto it from the bottom, getting on the empty side closer to the wall before flopping onto my back. It was a bit small for two people, but it was definitely a lot roomier than what we had to deal with for most nights. He stared down at me, turning onto his side to do so. Confused over the amusement on his face, I rose a brow at him.
"What?" He smirked at my question, taking notice of the annoyance still laced in my tone.
"You're cute when you pretend to be mad." I scoffed, turning to look up at the ceiling.
"I'm not mad, nor am I pretending to be." I was telling the truth, being mad and being annoyed with someone were two completely different things. He took ahold of my jaw, gently turning my head to make me face him again.
"You know I hate it when you lie sweetheart." His thumb traced my bottom lip, the sensation sending a shudder down my spine. His eyes examined my face, watching my features soften as I forgot all about my annoyance towards him. With his gaze soft and his thumb caressing my cheek, he licked his lips.
"I'm gonna kiss you now." I could only slightly nod before his mouth was on mine, his damp lips parting as he kissed me. And like always, my body gave in to him in a matter of seconds, my hand lifting to tangle in his hair as he leaned over me, his bare chest pressing against me. I sighed into the intense kiss, allowing his tongue into my mouth and relaxing my body completely.
His hand that was cradling my cheek slid down my neck slowly, warm palm grazing my skin softly before moving over my shirt, along the valley between my breasts and down to my waist, settling there. His fingers dug into my side as he tugged me closer to him, the musky scent of his body surrounding me in a way that would always make me feel hazy. With his lips still on mine, his tongue massaging my own in an unfamiliar gentleness, he moved his hand even lower, sliding it along the outside of my thigh until stopping at my knee. His long fingers wrapped around the underside of it, pulling to hitch my leg up against his hip. I drew in a sharp breath, giving his hair another tug.
Leaving me no time to process anything of what was going on, he pulled me with him as he rolled on his back. With his hold on my leg and the other hand on my waist, he sat me on his lap and laid down without breaking the kiss, even through the muffled gasp passing from me to him. Both his hands then went to my hips, developing a firm grip on them as he pushed me down against him. Though late, I realised what his intentions were. And unlike what I would've done about those intentions any other time, I found myself pushing on his chest to lift myself up and end the kiss. Doing so, I breathed heavily as he watched me in pure confusion.
"Not now. Not here." I shook my head softly, my words shaky and unsteady as I pressed my palms on his warm skin, the pressure from under me giving away how prepared he was to continue this. The deep furrow in his brows told me rejection was the last thing he was expecting from me, which was understandable. More than half the times, I'd be the one to sought him out and wanna have sex, not caring much of the circumstances or our location.
"Why? What's wrong?" His grip on my hips was still strong, though not as much. His fingers weren't digging into the fabric of my shorts any longer, his flustered chest rising as he breathed in deeply. Even in the darkness of the night, I could still make out the different dark tones of blue in his eyes. Cobalt, sapphire, and in the coolness of the moon, a hint of indigo. The colours, though cold and uninviting, still brought me a sense of comfort. Gulping down the lump in my throat, I ran my fingers through the trail of soft dark chest hair in the middle of his chest. I noticed him lightly shivering.
"I can't, with your sister so close by, I don't want her to hear anything." He huffed at my reasoning, though it was solely out of amusement. His hands moved up from my hips, cool fingers making contact with my hot skin as they slipped past my shirt. His thin lips, pink like bubblegum curled on one side, forming a smirk.
"So what if she does? It's not like she doesn't know where babies come from." Witnessing him cracking jokes and being proud of them was something I haven't gotten used to yet, though I was slowly beginning to. He had a sense of humour I could easily understand, I could appreciate and add on to. It was full of irony and sarcasm, even a bit offensive at times. I've familiarised myself with that plenty thanks to Louis. I looked down at my fingers moving through the short curls of his chest hair, biting my bottom lip.
"I just- It feels weird, thinking about her knowing what we're doing in here. I know she's aware there's something going on between us, but I still don't want her to know we're doing anything in her house."
"It's technically my house too. I paid for it." His smirk widened, threatening to become an actual smile as he was holding back from showing any teeth. I rolled my eyes at his remark, attempting to climb off of him. Surprisingly, I found no resistance. So I laid back down, trying to untangle the thin bedsheet he was under to cover my legs.
"She's the one that lives here. It feels like hers to me. And I wanna respect that." I fluffed up the spare pillow, resting my head on it once I was satisfied. It was a bit too warm for me to be wearing so many clothes in bed, but I knew that getting rid of them would only oppose a bigger temptation to both me and him. I closed my eyes, hearing the deep sigh he let out before I felt stirring next to me. He turned around, getting comfortable on his side as I was faced with his inked back.
"Fine, let's just go to sleep then." He muttered, his body relaxing onto the mattress. I couldn't help but smile at his response to my rejection, amused by how he decided to sulk about it. Though a bit childish, I found it sort of cute. So I scooted closer to him, laying on my side right behind his body before I draped my arm over his waist. He stirred in surprise, glancing back at me from over his shoulder. But he didn't pull away or stop me, allowing me to spoon him and relaxing into my hold. This was new for us, me holding him like this. It had always been the other way around.
"This okay?" I looked down at him, still a bit weary over my move. His eyes were closed, his chest vibrating as he breathed in and out deeply.
"Mhm." He hummed, curling into himself more as his hand came to rest over mine on his chest. I took that as a positive response, letting my body relax as I pressed my chest to his back, my cheek flush to his warm skin. And even though I couldn't understand where it came from, I resisted the urge to kiss his shoulder.
•••
He wasn't in bed when I woke up, and even though this was something I've gotten used to every morning on the bus, it made me sit up and stare at the empty space by my side this time, the mattress still indented by his weight. I shouldn't have felt disappointment over him not being here. He came to visit his sister that he hasn't seen in God knows how long, it was only logical he'd get up early to spend time with her.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes while trying to adjust to the morning light and stretched over to the dresser, picking up my phone to check the time. It was just past eleven, which was about the time I'd always wake up. I tapped on the notification I had, which took me to a text from Louis telling me I should be back by six tomorrow. I didn't respond, dragging myself out of the bed and making my way to the door. It was barely opened, a strip of light coming through it. I pushed it slowly, trying to make no sound as I attempted to locate the others. I instantly made my way down the slim corridor towards the living room, managing to catch onto familiar voices the closer I got. And even though my mother always told me eavesdropping is wrong, I never listened to anything she told me to do, or not do in this case.
"Why is she really here?" Kat's words were the first I was able to make out. They made me freeze in place, hidden behind the wall that separated the rooms right by the archway. As if her words weren't obvious enough they were about me, Niall's response made it completely clear.
"Don't try to ask me to explain this, Kat. Because I can't. We had a few days off, and I wasn't thinking before I went and asked her to come with me." I carefully listened, partly surprised they weren't having this conversation in Russian. But I remembered their mother was Irish, and that they were just as used to speaking in both languages by growing up in a bilingual household.
"What's really going on between you, Nikki? I've noticed how both of you have strategically tried to avoid the subject, but I'm not blind. Are you dating her?" I held my breath, clutching my phone to my chest in anticipation for his response. This was probably the only opportunity I had to find out what was on his mind truthfully, and it terrified me to think he still had hope for something more.
"No, I'm not dating her. She's not... She doesn't date, she's made that pretty clear to me countless times." I could hear the bitterness in his voice, the way it dropped an octave at the end.
"Yet you still stick around. You keep yourself open to her, hoping she'll make an exception for you. Isn't that what you're doing?" I couldn't tell how Kat was feeling about this, if she was annoyed or amused by our situation. Either way, what she said made me realise that she could be right, that he could be waiting for me to be ready for more.
Could I ever be ready?
"This is none of your business Katerina." He grumbled, and I could practically picture the agitation on his face.
"I just want you to be careful, Nikki. You can't get attached. You out of all people should know that best. You know what Anton would-"
"I can protect her just fine, just like I've been protecting you for years." I had to brace myself, pressing my hand on the wall to maintain my balance.
Who the hell is Anton?
"You can't protect everyone." Kat's words were quieter, even a bit reluctant.
"I don't wanna talk about this." The creaking sounds of a chair signaled to me that he got up from it, my heart beating faster.
"I'll go see if she's up." His announcement made me practically sprint back into his room, hoping he wouldn't know I was ever there listening in on their conversation. I went to the room and sat cross legged on the bed before I started undoing the braid my hair was in, pretending that was what had been keeping me busy. He knocked on the door only a few seconds after, pushing it open to glance inside. I turned to him as casually as possible, even showcasing some surprise to see him there. What wasn't surprising was the fact that he had no shirt on, only some long basketball shorts and a pair of thick socks.
"Hey. Good morning." I mindlessly smiled, putting my focus on untangling my hair from the nape of my neck. He breathed out heavily, making his way over before he sat right next to me.
"Morning petal." He leaned in before I could even process it, leaving a ghost of a kiss onto my temple. My throat dried up at the gesture, and I hated the way my heart jumped because of it.
"How'd you sleep?" He added, pushing my hands away from my hair. He took over undoing the rest of the braid where I couldn't quite reach that well, pulling the strands apart so gently I could barely even feel anything.
"Good. It was a bit hot, but I slept fine."
"Of course it was hot, you had so many clothes on." He chuckled, letting his hand drop on my shoulder once he was done with my hair. I turned to him, raising a brow in challenge.
"I had those clothes on so you wouldn't get any ideas." His lips curled into a subtle smirk instantly, his eyes still a bit droopy even though I had a feeling he had been up for a while.
"What kind of ideas?" He challenged, the suggestiveness in his tone giving away that he understood what I meant. I smirked right back at him, finding this new playful game exciting. He hadn't seen that side of me yet, and I honestly never expected he'd possess one of his own.
"Dirty ideas." He was leaning closer, so I did the same. My words had him raising a brow in fake shock, the hand that was on my shoulder falling to my waist.
"I have some of those right now." His voice lowered, becoming rich and gravelly. He leaned in more, aiming to kiss me. I stopped him before he could, turning my head and lifting my hand to his cheek to push his head to the side.
"You're gonna have to keep them to yourself." I got off the bed before he could react, seeing the slight surprise over my rejection. I chuckled at how flustered he was, staring at me as I walked out of the room. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, passing through the archway leading to the living space on my way.
Kat greeted me and told me she had coffee ready. I thanked her and went back once I was done using the bathroom, finding Niall already there. He was sitting on a small wooden table pushed at a corner, cradling a mug in his hands. Kat was on the couch with her own drink. She pointed me towards the coffee pot and told me which cupboard to open. Before I could even make my way into the kitchen space, Niall was on his feet and telling me he'll make me tea instead. I heard Kat chuckle at his eagerness, but I ignored it and just thanked him before joining her on the couch.
"Did you two fit in that tiny bed alright?" She smirked, taking a sip from her mug. I ignored the suggestiveness in her tone, clearing my throat before I talked.
"Yeah, it was fine. It's not that small." I shrugged, glancing at Niall as he made me tea, the side of his face barely visible to me. His skin had gotten tanner over the short time we'd been on tour, more freckles developing on his cheeks, shoulders and arms. The new darkness in his skin helped define the muscles under it more, especially on his back as it moved with every motion he made. I forced myself to look away, not wanting Kat to notice I was gawking at her brother. I looked around the place instead, finding it empty.
"Is Peter not up yet?" I questioned, looking back at Kat. She shook her head as she took another sip of her coffee.
"No, he gets up at around twelve most days. He sleeps quite a lot." I nodded in understanding, turning my head sharply once I caught onto movement on my peripheral vision. Niall was standing over me already, holding out a blue mug with a teabag hanging from the side of it.
"There's no oat milk, so I just made it plain." I smiled at him, taking the mug from his hand.
"That's okay. Thanks." I wrapped my fingers around the mug, the scent of green tea instantly travelling up my nose. I gently blew at the surface before taking a cautious sip, being careful to not burn my tongue. Niall went back to the table, picking up his phone to look through it.
"So Lex, what are you planning to do on your first day in New York?" Kat asked me, a friendly smile that contrasted the uncertainty she portrayed about me earlier on her face. I couldn't tell if she liked me or if she was just being polite, which made me nervous.
"Don't know. I can't really go to any tourist attractions without risking being recognised. I'm not really supposed to be here." I chuckled, taking another careful sip of tea.
"I see, so there's not really a plan." She nodded, confusing me more.
"No, not really. Why?" I glanced at Niall, hoping he had an explanation. He had set his phone down, an amused smile on his face as he watched us.
"Go on, ask her." He nodded towards me, keeping his eyes on Kat. I turned back to her, noticing how she sat up a bit straighter.
"Ask me what?" She cleared her throat, maintaining a polite smile.
"I have a performance tonight. I was wondering if you'd wanna come." My eyes went slightly wide at her invitation.
"A ballet performance?" She chuckled at my reaction, nodding slowly.
"Yeah. My company's putting on Giselle this entire month. I play Myrtha, Queen of the betrayed maidens." I stared at her in pure fascination, unable to picture just how grand and beautiful the performance would be.
"I'd love to come. I've never been to a ballet." My response made her lightly laugh as she turned to her brother.
"Nikki can't say the same. I think he's gone to every ballet I've ever been in. I wouldn't be surprised if he was sick of them." She teased, though I could see how grateful she was deep down. And it warmed my heart, knowing he was so supportive of her in doing what she loved most. His only response was to roll his eyes at her, drinking his coffee quietly. Kat got up, placing her mug on the coffee table before she took her long golden hair out of its ponytail.
"Anyway, I have to start getting ready to go to the theatre. I have your tickets on the counter. Just do me a favour and answer the door when Alice comes to get Peter." I stared at her, my eyebrows instantly scrunching together.
"Who's Alice?"
"She's this old lady that lives two floors down. She looks after Peter whenever I'm gone." I nodded, watching her as she took the mug to the sink.
"There's no need for her today. We can look after him." Niall instantly jumped in, his offer only making me anxious. I liked kids, but I've never cared for one, never been left alone with a child. Just the idea of having that responsibility had me a nervous wreck. I didn't interfere though, seeing as this was none of my business.
"No, that's gonna mess up his whole routine, and having one is important for him. Plus, you're here just for the day. You should enjoy it without having to worry about Peter." She reasoned, leaving the room to start getting ready. Niall was reluctant to agree, telling her that he wanted to spend time with his nephew once she was back. After a bit of quarrelling, he ended up giving in and letting Alice pick Peter up to take him to her place for the day.
Kat's performance was late in the evening, which allowed us for a good chunk of free time. To his dismay, Niall discovered Kat's fridge and pantry were practically empty, so we went out to get brunch in a cafe nearby. He wanted to go grocery shopping after to stock up on everything Kat was missing, and I offered to go with him and help. In reality, the only reason I went was to be there at the cash register.
For as long as I've known him, Niall only paid in cash. I don't think he even has a credit card, which was definitely odd for someone in this day and age. But that gave me all the time I needed to signal to the cashier and pay with my card while he kept looking around his wallet for cash, catching him completely off guard and unprepared. He was annoyed. Mad, even that I once again beat him to it. But it wasn't really about him this time around. Kat has welcomed me into her house uninvited, had been so hospitable and nice. The least I could do was pay the bill for her groceries. And I told him that, tried to reason with him and explain my point of view. Though clearly displeased, he was willing to accept it and move on.
I helped him put everything away once we were back in Kat's place, but we were out again soon after. To my limited knowledge, ballet performances were a pristine event. Though not necessarily extremely formal, they did still require some form of attire I had definitely not thought about bringing along. The only things I had with me were jeans and T-shirts, which definitely weren't good enough options for the event. So I dragged him with me in search for a better option, preferably a dress considering how hot it was out. I would've gone on my own, but there was a high likelihood I'd get lost into the busy streets. He took me to a nearby mall, which had a store for pretty much anything someone could want.
Niall was reluctant to follow me when I stepped into the Louis Vuitton store, his gaze weary as he came along. It was nothing but amusing to me, seeing how lost he looked as he walked behind me. A salesperson instantly came over to greet us, a curt polite smile on her face as she asked me what I was looking for. I explained to her that I wanted something nice but not too fancy, and she showed me a couple options of short dresses. Niall, like every man ever in a clothing store, limited himself to a velvet settee as he just waited on me.
I tried one of the dresses on, a sleeveless tweed dress that had the monogram cleverly hidden in the pattern. As I examined it in a full length mirror by the changing booths, I could barely see Niall through the reflection staring back at me. There was really not any emotion on his face, which was something I had grown used to from him. The girl that had suggested this dress was standing next to me, expressing how she thought it fit my body type well. And I liked it, the belt really accentuating my waist in the best way.
As I looked at him while his gaze travelled around the fancy store, I realised that he was most likely just as unprepared wardrobe wise as me. I highly doubted the backpack he had brought with him fit anything but a couple of T-shirts and maybe some spare pants. Granted, it was his house we were staying at and there was a high chance he still kept plenty of clothes of his there, but I didn't wanna risk him showing up underdressed to his sister's performance.
"Do you have anything for him?" I nodded towards Niall, drawing the girl's attention towards him. She paused for a second before turning to me.
"We do, but our menswear stock is very limited at the moment." I didn't blame her, the store was probably the smallest one out of all the ones I've visited around the globe.
"That's okay. It doesn't have to be much. Just a nice button down will do." Niall looked up, surprised to find both of us looking at him. The girl nodded and walked away, leaving a confused Niall staring back at me.
"Could you come here for a second?" He narrowed his eyes at me, getting up before walking over slowly.
"Why?"
"Do you have any slacks back at your place?" He reached me, his brows deeply furrowed as his confusion only rose.
"Most likely. Why are you asking me that?" I didn't have the time to respond before the girl was back, making him whirl around to face her as she held up three button downs.
"Okay, those are the simplest options we have available right now. If they don't work, we can look into the monogram designs that are very popular right now." Niall looked between the both of us shocked, realising the shirts were for him. I chuckled, waving her suggestion off.
"That won't be necessary, I'm sure we can make one of these work." I stepped closer, running my hand over the sleeve of a navy velvet shirt. It was nice, but it felt like it was too heavy for the season. I looked at the other two, a plain powder blue one and a white one, thin silver stitching creating abstract lines all over. It captured my interest, and I picked it out. I examined it one last time, the fabric soft and light. Satisfied with it, I passed it on to Niall.
"Why don't you try this on? See if it fits correctly." I smiled, his eyes taking in the garment before he reached for the hanger. I nodded at the girl, and she left to put the other two shirts in place.
"I don't need a shirt."
"Yes, you do. We're going to your sister's performance, you have to look nice. Now, go try it on." He huffed at my reasoning, knowing I was right. Unenthusiastically, he went to a changing room to put the shirt on. I had already decided on getting the dress I was wearing, so I didn't bother trying anything else on. I quickly changed into my own clothes and asked the girl to wrap the dress up. Niall took a bit longer than normal to change, and it was only when I called his name through the curtain of the changing booth that he pushed it aside.
The shirt fit him like a glove, loose enough to not constrain him, yet tight enough to be flattering to his chest and arms. I smiled at the sight, satisfied with how he looked in it. The silver design was definitely eye catching, but it suited him perfectly.
"Lex, this is almost a thousand dollars." He whispered, his eyes going wide. I chuckled at his reaction, shrugging my shoulders.
"And the dress I'm getting is almost three. What's your point?"
"I don't have that much to spend on a fucking shirt." Slight annoyance was evident in his tone, but it only amused me more.
"And what makes you think you're paying for it?" I smirked, proud to see the shock in his face.
"No, that's ridiculous. There's absolutely no reason for you to buy me a shirt this expensive." He made a move to pull the curtain closed, but I stopped him by gripping it.
"Come on, let me get it. Just think of it as a gift." He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"A gift for what?" His challenging tone had me blanking for a second, not really having a response prepared. I nibbled on my bottom lip, staring at him as he rose his brows in anticipation.
"For being there for me when I didn't have anyone else." I whispered, my voice unintentionally coming out shaky. I hadn't forgotten about how he saved me from Jessie, of how willing he was to protect me. Just like I haven't forgotten about the time he came after me when the tape leaked, ready to comfort me until I felt better. Or the time he came to my bunk when I couldn't sleep because of thunder. And the night he took me to the rooftop and listened to my past without judging me. Those were just some of the times where I found comfort in his presence, whether he intended for that or not. With a deep sigh of defeat, he ran a hand down his face.
"Fine, but this better not become a habit." He glared at me before closing the curtain this time. With a victorious smile, I walked away towards the register to wait for him as he changed, informing the girl I'd buy the shirt he was trying on as well. He walked out with it bunched up in his hand a few seconds later, handing it to the girl to fold it and place it in a box along with my dress. He glanced at me sideways for a second, and I noticed he was a bit jittery.
This will definitely become a habit.
•••
Never in my life have I experienced something as magical and graceful as the ballet. I was at a loss for words since practically from the start, mesmerised by the production and costumes like a child in a candy store. I couldn't believe it had taken me twenty seven years to witness such a show, such magnificence and beauty on one stage. The classical music was earie, ethereal almost and the dancers glided along the stage like they were floating, like they were creatures beyond this world.
I was so lost in the magic of it all, I was almost surprised when I recognised Kat, dawning a long white skirt with an intricate bodice, her golden hair in a bun held back by a feathery headpiece. She danced her solo amongst the other ballerinas, but she still managed to have all eyes on her, her hair gleaming in the stage light and her long fair arms creating intricate, graceful shapes with each turn and leap, each refined dance step as she balanced on the tips of her pointe shoes.
I glanced at Niall as his sister danced on stage, finding him just as mesmerised as I was. The soft smile tugging on his lips expressed pure pride, admiration and love as he followed her along the stage with his eyes, the deep shade glimmering, slightly watery. I swallowed hard, witnessing a side of him I never thought I would. A fragile, vulnerable piece of himself that he has shown to no one, yet he was willing to let me see it. Why, I didn't know. But I could still appreciate it. I could still offer him my hand to hold if he wanted and tell him just how wonderful she was up there. And I did just that, sliding my fingers through his onto the armrest between our maroon velvet seats. He glanced down at my hand attempting to hold his for a second before opening up his palm, allowing me rest my hand on it. He closed his fingers around mine and squeezed once, but it was enough for me to understand he was appreciative of my gesture.
When the show ended and the cast came out one by one to take their final bow, he was instantly on his feet the second he saw her, clapping his hands and staring at her like she was the only person there, the only person that mattered. And she was. At least to him. I could never expect him to look at me that way, or anyone else for that matter.
He had flowers sent to her dressing room, which she carried with her when she met us after the show. I congratulated her the best I could, struggling to find the words to express just how much I loved it. We went back to her flat to pick up Peter from her neighbor before Niall made dinner, using the groceries we had gotten earlier. I had asked him to not tell her I bought it for her, and he kept his word to me.
The next day was inevitably our last, but we still got to have breakfast with Kat and Peter before she left for class. We gathered our things and left soon after, catching our flight back to Denver that would have us back just in time. We arrived at the airport with some time to spare, so I went around looking for something to take with me. A souvenir, a memorabilia that I could keep to myself to remember this trip, to remember the time where I finally got to see Nikolai, the man that was willing to do anything to protect his sister. The man that wanted to protect me, even if I couldn't quite grasp what that really meant. And I didn't try asking either, because I knew he'd give me no response. I managed to find a keychain, a cherry red metal apple that had the name of the city written in black cursive. It was small, easy to keep around and carry, so I got it.
When I did that, I didn't expect I'd see it in Louis' possession a day later, just when we had gotten to our hotel in Phoenix for our next show. He was in my room the second I got there, seated in the vanity chair facing the door. I stared at him, frozen in the threshold as I watched the red apple gleaming, hanging from his hand as he held it up for me to see. With his eyes narrowed, his lips curled into a smile like a cat that just got the cream, he looked up at me and rose a brow as he swung the end of the chain around his pointer finger.
"Did you have fun in New York?"
⁜⁜⁜
Nice going Lex.
Thanks for reading!
~M