Molly
"Molly, Honey, could you get the door, Love? I'm just stepping out of the shower!"
Great, and I'm looking like a colourful version of the bride of Frankenstein's monster with my hair standing up around my head in fountains and cascades, turning me into the Olympic flame.
I'm wearing my school blouse and pyjama pants covered in colourful butterflies and cows. It's not the best look for opening the door, but I think Ronan is breaking his own record in annoyance, using our doorbell.
"Hey! Ro! Seriously, would you like the doorbell shoved up your butt?" I ask, yanking the door open.
"Not particularly, but I've kinda started to figure out that you've got a kinky streak, so I'll give it a shot if you really want me to."
It's not Ronan! Alien, putting his doggie bum on my fake-feet slippers, also seems to be surprised about that. It's hard to tell because his eyes are always bug-like, and his tongue is always lolling around halfway out of his mouth.
"What? How? Where?" I'm, of course, referring to the reason for Tanner Trent being at my door, and the day hasn't even begun yet. How did he even know where my door was? Yeah, he's been here many times, usually coming and going from Candy's window, unless he's here to see Ro... Noooo, he probably still uses the window then. I don't think he knew I lived next door to Ronan, though... did he? I doubt he would've noticed.
Blooming Ronan!
"How the hell should I know the details of how that's supposed to work? You're the one with the doorbell-butt fetish." He frees himself from the strap of a small cooler bag he's carrying dangling at his hip and holds it in the air for me to see. "Your mom's soup."
He really made my mother some soup?! I thought he was just saying stuff. That is actually really sweet!
Tanner is not sweet!
"Well, hurry up, I have to get to school and intercept my big cooler bag from Hunter, or he'll snort the contents of all the containers before lunch break."
I remember Tanner saying something on the phone about spending the night at Hunter's last night, but I'm not really sure what he is on about now. I'm really happy about the soup, though; my mother has been raving about Tanner's cooking since I risked life and limb to retrieve the lunchbox from the cabinets for her when she got home around 5:30 this morning.
The joy of her receiving this soup lulls me enough to lower my guard and open the door wider to take the cooler bag from him, which I do. His hands now empty, Tanner bends over and scoops up the dog, who is way too happy to see him. He is a lurking stranger, after all; the hairball is supposed to protect me, not ecstatically drizzle pee and drool everywhere.
"Whoa!" Tanner yelps, jumping back when he sees the feet Alien was sitting on. "Shit, for a second there, I thought you were in serious need of a pedicure!" he laughs.
That is not an unusual reaction to the slippers my dear loving mother bought me as a joke. They're hideous! They look like feet with crooked toes and rotten nails, but they are so nice and snuggly and warm on the inside that I am happy to ignore their outsides. These slippers could teach people many lessons about inner beauty, but they won't because they're lazy, and they've got my feet stuffed inside them whenever I'm home.
"Careful, he's gonna pee on you," I warn Tanner, but he seems unconcerned, cradling the pug in the crook of his arm as if he were a baby. Well, there's a fair amount of dog urine on our threshold now, so Tanner is probably safe.
"You should rather piss on those ugly feet, yeah, you should, you know you should, you should piss on those feet," he croons at the dog and tickles his fat belly. Hearing Tanner talking like an old maid cooing to her mongrel is possibly the most disturbing thing I've heard in years.
"So, you're auditioning for Merida in the live-action adaptation of Brave. Good for you! I hope you get the part." He is following me into the apartment, and he is talking garbage.
I wonder if Tanner ever actually makes sense. I've had a few encounters with him since Monday, and every conversation ended with me being confused or slightly angry. I put the cooler bag on the counter in the kitchen and unzip it.
"What are you talking about?" I ask, and Tanner is grinning at me, looking me up and down.
Oh! Right!
I am so relieved that I no longer have a crush on him. If I did, I would've been mortified right now. I know what I look like in the mornings when I'm getting ready for school, and it ain't pretty!
"You have the hair near perfect, but the costume is a bit..." he pulls a face and clicks his tongue. "Love the pants, though... You should speak to Willow; she's very good at putting costumes together."
"Really, she is?!" I say, delighted to hear this completely useless piece of information. "Hmm... I should definitely go ask her for advice then," I say matter-of-factly, unpacking the cooler bag. I set the soup container on the counter and look up to glare at Tanner. "What the hell do I need a blooming costume for?!"
"Oh, hello!" My mother is entering the open-plan living-dining-kitchen of the DIY Miniature Dollhouse we call our home. She's had a shower and is wearing the fluffy brown tracksuit she loves to wear when she's going to fall asleep in front of the TV after work. It's old and worn and makes her look as though she's growing mould, but she doesn't care.
That's our Granger women for you; it's all about comfort and familiarity for us! Looks can just suck it!
Well, I do throw in a heavy dose of colour, pattern and texture every chance I get. The more, the merrier. Someone (Noelle) once said that I was using it as camouflage to hide the fact that I am fat. That someone (Noelle) got a gherkin up her nose for her trouble and is still sneezing up pips today.
"Ah! I know you! Sprained ankle, dislocated shoulder, cut in bicep, broken ribs, hairline skull fracture, concussion..." The list goes on and on, my eyes growing wider and wider exponentially, keeping up with it. I am shocked that Tanner is still alive! Alive and looking like that!
'That' being Adonis, the Greek god of beauty.
"You have a good memory," he smiles, putting the dog down so that he can give my mother a hug.
He is hugging my mother?! What the hell?! Why is the grandson of the devil himself hugging my mother?!
"Well, Honey, when a patient as sweet as you show up, we nurses never forget their faces or their names."
"So," I turn to the gloriously beautiful cherub smiling hearts at my mother, the mother who does not know how the object of her affection trampled my heart six years ago. "Tanner is short for Sprained Ankle, Something Shoulder, Lots of Biceps, Numb Skull... and I forgot the rest; is it?"
My mum has a way of referring to patients by their injuries rather than their names. It makes sense because she is an ER nurse, and those things are the most important features to her when she deals with patients. "I hope that wasn't all just one trip to the ER!"
"Oh, no, Honey, Tan-Tan's a regular," she gives him a once-over, smiling fondly, and she almost seems proud of his achievement of showing up at the ER regularly in a state of disrepair.
Wait! What? Did my mum just call him Tan-Tan?!
"You haven't been around for a long time, Sweetie. I was worried!" Shouldn't she have been worried when he was showing up a lot instead? "Are you taking your business elsewhere now?" she asks, giving him a suspicious look.
No, she is definitely talking about grievous injuries and not his dry-cleaning or boat rental needs, though one will be forgiven for misunderstanding since she seems disappointed that he is not coming in more often.
"Of course not, Sister Nell, yours is still my number one ER. I've just finally mastered the art of walking."
And now they're both laughing together as if that was the funniest joke ever, and they've been best friends since kindergarten.
What weird-ass parallel universe have I just stepped into?
"Well," I say, clasping my hands in front of my ample bosom. "As awesome fun as this little reunion is, I need to go get ready for school. Tan-Tan-" Oh my word, I cannot believe I said that with a straight face. "- brought you some soup, Mum, and though I'm pretty sure that it is going to be really good, I just want to repeat it one more time to make sure you understand me nice and clearly: I am not marrying him to give you a son and a personal chef all in one go, so don't even bring that up again. See you at school, Satan."
I give him a wave while my mother pontificates excitedly about her upcoming gorging on soup. Soup that smells amazing, by the way. She's already got the lid off and is almost jumping up and down, waiting for Tanner to wash his hands and heat some for her. Sometimes I think my mum is perpetually six years old.
"Hey, Granger! You want me to wait and give you a lift?"
That's rather surprising!
Let's see, do I want to be seen with my red curls flying in the wind and my skirt hitched up my thick thighs, clinging to Tanner's back in public while he struggles to get his overloaded motorcycle up the hill?
I cannot think of anything more fun and flattering than that!
"Thanks, Tanner, but there is no way that I, Molly Granger, dead or alive, will ever ride on the back of your bike. You are a maniac, and I have a reputation to think of."
"Okay, see you at the bench at lunchtime," Tanner shrugs and continues preparing my mother's soup, smiling at her as if she's his favourite auntie.
I am sure, as I open my bedroom door, that when I step inside it, I'm going to fall off the edge of the Earth that has suddenly gone flat.
♫
Hunter
Willow is talking non-stop. I don't know if kissing has acted as some kind of exercise to loosen her tongue, but I don't think she's ever chattered this much during our drive to school before. Well, it's better than having her hiding under the seat or hanging halfway out of the window, ready to escape, I guess.
I'm just feeling a little disappointed that the kiss apparently didn't have as profound an effect on her as it had on me. I feel like a tree fell on me and shoved its branches up my nose. I'm dazed and confused. I don't feel like babbling at all.
I hope she realises that she's the one who turned my hug into a seriously hot make-out session, not me. Yeah, yeah, sure, I was probably going to kiss her anyway. I really wanted to. I was working up to it, and I might've actually succeeded, but she doesn't know that.
All I'm saying is that if she actually does feel anything about it, it had better not be anger towards me. I'm not upset about the kiss, I'm confused, and this time there's no ambiguity about what happened. There were no nightmares, semi-sleep accidents or painkillers involved in what happened in the kitchen.
We were both completely awake. I had stomach cramps, but they did not influence my actions or decisions at all. I hope it didn't influence hers.
I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. Why did she kiss me? Was she feeling sorry for me because I was having some weird kind of colic attack? Shit, in that case, I'd better keep her away from my friends if they're ever feeling unwell or are injured. I sure as hell don't want Willow nursing them!
I listen to her talk about songs she heard yesterday on the TV and flowers she saw blooming in the park, and she's wondering what kind of flowers bloom this time of the year; then she jumps into talking about the exams and which days she'll be staying at home to study and about wanting a girl I've never heard of before to study with her sometimes. She doesn't take a breath or pause for a rest, and I'm beginning to suspect that she is not feeling half as cheerful and chipper as she's pretending.
No shit!
Poor girl is probably drowning in embarrassment and awkwardness right now, and I don't blame her. I just hope she doesn't run away from me, though she probably should. I have no idea how to handle the kiss thing. I want to do the opposite of talking. I don't even want to think because thinking makes me remember it, and then I feel hot all over. I just want to sit here and shut up and drive us to school.
I feel a slightly amused, somewhat sad smile tug at my lips while I listen to Willow talking on and on about everything and absolutely nothing.
In all honesty, what I would really like to do is to turn this car around and drive back home or somewhere nice and go kiss Willow some more, but I'm pretty sure that that will not be a good idea and that kissing might not be all we end up doing. So, for me, it is just shut up and drive.
Don't even say a bloody word, Hunter Drake.
"Why was Tanner hugging you? Is that a thing now? Are you going to hug him a lot?" Those were words, and I said them! Dammit!
Willow stops her long story and turns large, startled eyes on me. Yeah, I'm startled too; what the hell did I ask her that for?
"I'm not entirely sure," she says. "I was surprised too, but it was rather sweet."
"Did you kiss him too?" More friggin' words, and they are even worse!
"What?" She is glaring at me now, and I deserve it, so I keep my eyes on the road and clench my teeth.
Which part of shut up did I not understand?
"I'm just curious, that's all. I mean, it's Tan and I'm not used to him being close to girls who are not Paise unless he's planning on kissing them. He is also generally not a hugger. So..."
Willow laughs humourlessly and turns her eyes away to look at her fingers tangling in her lap.
"Do you really think that I would've been kissing you like that if I'd been kissing him like that earlier?" she sounds hurt more than angry, but at least she's acknowledging the fact that she kissed me.
"No... well... yes... well... no..."
Oh great! I should join the debate club; I could give Dex some serious competition for a change. I really don't know what I think. "I just think you might have a lot of catching up to do in the kissing department, and you now know a whole crowd of boys more than willing to help you with that."
Apparently, that is what I think!
"Oh, my! How wonderful!" Willow exclaims. "Would you mind lining them up for me then so that I can get all caught up as soon as possible?"
"What?" I'm not sure, but I don't think she really means that.
"The only catching up I need to do is with my schoolwork, Hunter and I'm almost completely done with that," she snaps, and I'll admit, I'm really relieved to hear that. Not that she's almost done catching up with her schoolwork, though I'm happy for her. I'm relieved that she's not planning any kissing catch-ups, and I'm sorry that I'm saying stupid things, making her angry. "Besides, you're the only boy I want to kiss."
"What?!" I turn to look at her, and I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to say that. Did she mean it, though? She's looking ready to escape through the window or hide under the seat now.
Good job, Hunter! You made it happen, after all!
She catches me looking at her, and I'm not sure what she's seeing on my face, but it is not making her feel any better. Her face is the colour of a national post-box, and I'm a little concerned for her health because no person should ever be that colour!
"Will you keep your eyes on the road!" she shouts, which is good advice.
"Yes," I agree, turning all my attention back to the road. I'm not used to Willow shouting at me, and I nearly crash through the windscreen when she suddenly turns up the radio volume so high that the whole car is shuddering.
I dare to give her another look and watch her nervously adjust the volume to a more tolerable level of loudness before she turns her back towards me as far as the seatbelt allows and watches the town speed by her window.
Ten out of ten on the moron scale again, Hunter Drake!
Once the car is parked and Willow has her bag, she says a general hello and goodbye to everybody gathering in the parking lot and takes off.
"Missy," I try to stop her, but she gives me a look that makes me retreat with my tail between my legs. Who would've thought that that timid little mouse could dish out such scary looks sometimes? I definitely don't think there will be any more kissing in the near future. Paisley gives me a what-the-hell look and trots after her new best friend.
"Seriously, Drake! I left the house less than an hour ago, and then Willow was all smiles and giggles," Tanner says, taking his big cooler bag from the car's trunk to transfer it to Jake's van.
It's easier for him to take it from the van when break starts because he has a key to the van, and he always says I'm too bloody slow taking it out of the car when he'd spent the night at my place. That's what he says, but I know he's just scared that I'll sneak to the car between classes and eat everything. He is not wrong to be scared.
"Really didn't take you long," he accuses.
"No, it really didn't," I admit and then, seeing him just looking at me, surprised that I'm agreeing with him, I hear myself saying words again. "Are you and Willow having a thing now?"
Willow said they weren't, but she might just not know it yet. Tanner might actually have real feelings for her. He might be working towards developing a sincere, romantic relationship for the first time in his life. Stranger things have happened, and when all is said and done, I care about the bastard and about Willow. I really don't want to mess things up for them.
Tanner gives a surprised laugh and, narrowing his eyes at me, he pulls a face. "I can assure you that my thing has not been anywhere near Willow."
I punch his shoulder, which only makes him laugh, and then I glare at him. I don't know why I bother because glaring at Tanner has never had any effect. It seems to be having at least some effect now. He is not cowering in fear, but he is placing a hand on my shoulder, smiling a serene smile.
"No, don't worry. You have nothing to fear from me. She's all yours, Bro, she made it pretty obvious," and with that, he strolls away to catch up with the rest of the guys.
"What the hell was that supposed to mean?!"
♫
Ronja
I did not want to come to school today, but I could not stay home another day, or Papa would start to ask too many questions, and his wife would insist on taking me to see doctor again. I was scared, leaving our house, but streets were quiet, and bus stop had the same people it always has.
Willow looked happy to see me earlier today when I sat down next to her in homeroom. That made me feel a bit better and also a bit worse because I did not want her to ask me questions. She has been giving me concerned looks all morning. I also don't ask her any questions. Her eyes are as puffy from tears as mine, and I don't think she will like being asked, either. It makes me doubly sad seeing those eyes. It makes me feel my own sadness and wonder about hers.
I am happy to see her friendly face too.
She gave me some eye gel to put under my eyes, and then she put some under hers. I can see that something is bothering her, but she just smiles at me and asks me about Physics and shows me things about English. We do not get much chance for talking in any of the classes. The teachers make us do revisions; they repeat pieces of difficult lessons and let us write mock exams to see what we don't know.
I look at my English mock test, and I can see that there are too many things I do not know. I am going to fail. My chest is hurting, and I'm feeling nauseous. When bell rings for break time, I crumple up the test in my hand, grab my schoolbag and run from classroom.
I think Willow is trying to call me, but I cannot breathe, I need to get to bathroom! I run along corridor until I find one and storm into first open cubicle, shutting door behind me and crashing to my knees. There's very little vomit coming out of me, I am mostly dry-heaving, and it hurts, making me groan. I haven't been able to eat anything since Monday lunchtime. I can hear some girls whispering, wondering what is going on inside my stall.
"Hey!" Someone is knocking on door. "Are you alright in there?"
"Yes, yes, thank you. Just blood sugar issues. I'm okay now."
I flush toilet and sit down on lid, covering my face with my hands. I am so afraid. I need to get home to Sweden, and nothing is working out! I have made big mistake. I have no money; my grades are going from bad to worse. Papa said that if they don't improve, I shan't be able to go even for Christmas.
I need to go now! I need to leave this awful place! I am so afraid. I am so alone.
I stuff knuckles of one fist into my mouth to stop loud sobs from coming out when fresh tears spill from my already sore eyes and roll down my cheeks.
♫
Paisley
"Seriously, Alice, don't make me beat it out of you!"
I'm not sure why Willow doesn't want to be at the bench today, but I won't force her if she doesn't want to sit there. I'm also often not in the mood to sit with the guys. Something clearly happened between her and Hunter again. Perhaps she just needs a timeout. I suggested that we meet here under our tree before I went to grab lunch from Tan.
She opened her smurf-hell-themed lunchbox a few minutes ago and is now just staring morosely at the seriously perfect meatball, pickle and cheese skewers cuddling with some savoury muffins in there. I seriously hope it is because she is thinking about Hunter and whatever he did to piss her off this morning and is, therefore, not seeing all the yummy things in there.
Tanner would be hurt if someone looked at his food that way while actually seeing his food. Yesterday she was chewing the most amazing cheese-and-bacon puffs as if they were made of rubber.
Irritated, I grab a skewer from her container and pop it meatball first into her mouth. She reflexively opens her mouth to accept it, and her eyes clear up, and now she's smiling, happily pulling the small stick out, leaving its special cargo behind.
"Oh, my word! This is so good!"
"Right?" I smile, and then I glare at her again. "Now tell me what the hell is wrong with you! Yesterday you were a zombie, and today your eyes look like they were making love to a bee. We're supposed to be friends. Friends don't let friends sit and wonder why their friends look like shit and then don't tell their friends anything."
Willow is frowning at me, and I can see that she is going to lecture me about grammar and diction.
"There were too many friends in your sentence to keep track of, and by the way, you do it to me all the time."
I was right! Well, at least partially.
"All the time? It was for like five minutes, and that was only because I didn't want people to know about me and Asher yet."
Willow digs in her lunchbox and takes out what vaguely looks like a small, round glutinous pouch. She pops it into her mouth and grimaces when she starts to chew it. She seems to be about to spit it out, but then her face lights up, her eyebrows raise, and she smiles, happy to keep it in her mouth.
I deserve a friggin' medal sitting still and patiently waiting for her to sample Tanner's goop-filled rice paper bags or whatever they're supposed to be. I don't even threaten her again, though I'm about this close to pulling her hair. I won't because she made my hair pretty this morning before school started. I've come to learn that it's good to have a female friend to do some girly things with, like braiding hair and gossiping about boys.
"I'm just... a little bit sad, that's all," she finally tells me. "Or at least... I was. I guess I'm a little angry now... or no... humiliated. Maybe I'm slightly scared that I've messed things up or-"
"Okay, I liked you better when you looked like a goldfish staring at a rogue hamster in your lunchbox. Now you're just annoying."
"Fine!" Willow snaps, and I grin at how feisty she's become lately. "I know, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I know!"
She has lost her friggin' mind!
"You might think that you're making some kind of profound statement, Alice, but I have news for you. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. What is it that you know?!" I regret shouting at her because she looks close to tears now, and if she cries any more, her eyeballs might actually pop out and roll away, which is really going to ruin the mood.
"Yesterday, I found out... I heard... I saw-"
"Come on! Seriously! Aren't you supposed to be some kind of linguist or something?"
"I'm not a linguist," she sobs, and there it is! She is going to lose her eyes now! Hunny will be so pissed at me if his girlfriend doesn't have any eyes for him to gaze into!
"Shit! Why are you making weird sounds? Come on, don't cry. Stop doing that. I swear if you don't stop crying, I will eat all your skewers, your muffins, and those weird little latex whatchamacallits with the green poop in them. Seriously, stop crying! It's gross; it makes tears and snot and shit run out of all kinds of holes in your face!"
"I don't have a shithole in my face!"
I stop talking, blinking at Willow for a few seconds, and then I happily burst out laughing.
"Wow! That was so cool! I've always wanted to be cussed at by the queen of England! What else can you say? Saaaaaaaaaaay f#ck... Come one, Say it! Ffffffffffffuuuuuu.... Ffffff... Come on, Alice! Fuuuuuuuu ck! Fuuuu..."
Willow is watching me with eyes that could probably fire poison darts if loaded; I hope they're not loaded, though shooting poison darts from one's eyes will be super awesome.
"Come on, Alice! You're no fun! Say ffffffffuuuu-"
"I'm not going to say f#ck! Now, stop it!"
"You said it, you totally said it!" Willow is blushing a brilliant scarlet, but at least she's not crying anymore; she is laughing now, but I haven't quite given up on the poison darts theory. I still see potential in her eyes.
"You are so annoying."
"I know, and I'm going to be even more annoying if you don't tell me right now why your eyes look like you slept with your face trapped in a vacuum cleaner... a turned-on one... that was trying to suck your eyes out," I clarify, when she just looks at me, her expression a little blank.
"I know about Hunter." Apparently, laughing has loosened the words in her mouth, and now they're just tumbling out. "I know what happened to him and why he wants to leave, and it breaks my heart thinking about how much pain he must be in.
"I hate that he is in pain. I hate that Uncle Ryan is in pain. I think you're wrong, though. I don't think that there is anything that I could do to make him stay. If, by some strange miracle, he does fall in love with me, he might actually just see me as one more reason to run away.
"Look at Asher, he clearly adores you, and that is one of the main reasons why he is running away."
She knows? How did she find out? Tanner?
Well, I'm glad she knows; she needed to know, and for some reason, knowing is causing her to sit here with swollen eyes. It is not making her jump up and join Céleste and her group, decisively turning her back on us. That's a good sign, right?
"Alice, there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. While you're in love, your brain is not functioning properly, and there is a window of opportunity for some serious manipulation. With Hunter in love with you, you have that window, and you should use it to get him to stay." I bite my lip and risk asking the question burning in the back of my mind. "Th- that is if you want him to stay now that you know all of it..."
I'm really not sure that I want to hear her answer. Her answer might break Hunny's heart. It could also cost me my new friend. For a few seconds, Willow blinks at me as if she doesn't understand the question, and then she shakes her head, frowning.
"Of course, I want him to stay! Why wouldn't I? I now understand why you're feeling so desperate about it. I'm also feeling desperate. I don't want him to go away..." Willow's voice cracks, and she swallows a few times before she shakes her head again, regaining control of herself. "I don't know how to create that window of opportunity, and even if I did manage to create one, how do I use it and manipulate it? Manipulation is a bad thing, though, isn't it?"
Seriously, can she not see that the guy is gaga about her? Is she blind? Is he blind?
"I'm pretty sure the window is already wide open. We must just think of something, that's all. And manipulation is only bad when you have selfish motives. We want to save Hunny. I'll beg, steal or borrow to help him. I'll even manipulate him if I have to! I still think teenage pregnancy would just be the easiest way, but for some weird reason, you're dead set against it-"
"I'm not getting pregnant, Paisley, and neither should you!"
"See! Dead set," I chuckle. I am feeling elated and optimistic. It feels as if we've climbed a mountain and fallen off the other side, only to land in a very nice hammock. Now, how the hell do we get off the hammock and back on the bloody mountain?
I'm about to make a few suggestions about that when I notice shoes stopping near us and a shadow looming over us. I look up, and for a moment, the girl is invisible, as white and bright as the sun shining in my eyes; then she moves, and I'm sure the wind is going to blow her away.
I once saw a music video filled with wraiths, fairies and sprites; pretty girls that seemed to be made of moonlight and cobwebs. This girl has just stepped out of that music video. She is beautiful, but her eyes seem to be suffering from the same affliction as Willow's.
"Yes?" I say because she's a girl, and she's in our space, and I don't know her, and she might be dangerous.
"I am sorry for intrusion," she says in a soft voice with a heavy accent.
"Okay, so get going then-"
"No!" Willow interrupts, and she looks happy to see the skinny water spirit. "Ronja, please sit, you're not intruding."
"She is, I was telling you about the beauty of teenage parenthood-"
"Ronja, this is my friend Paisley; Paisley, this is my friend Ronja," Willow interrupts, and she is now all smiles. "Ronja, please don't listen to half of what this girl says; if you do, your brain might explode."
"Pleasure to meet you, Paisley."
♪♫♪