CHAPTER TWENTY
THE RULES OF SELINA
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
The next morning I woke up snuggled against a warm body, as soft snores entered my ears. Ricardo had his arm around me, causing my body to be flushed against his while his head was in the crook of my neck.
This was unusual for both of us. I still didn't fully trust him because of what happened in the past. But it didn't mean that walking up to him, wasn't entrancing.
My body ached with soreness, and I groaned, realizing today was the day of the AMAS. Tai would be here at 8 am, and it was currently 7.
I spotted the scars that were on Ricardo's chest. Before I could touch them, he opened his eyes and grabbed my wrist. His dark eyes caught mine, and a shiver ran down my spine. I could tell there was pain, trauma that he had never told anyone before and it was locked deep inside.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. He let go of my wrist, running his hands through his hair.
"When I was back in España..." His voice died down, and he gently shook his head while clenching his jaw.
"We don't have to talk about anything if you're not ready," I said, climbing into his lap and running my hands through his messy hair. His hands immediately traveled to my ass, and he grabbed two handfuls harshly. Instantly, I groaned in pain, he was rough last night.
"Still stings?" He asked, and I nodded. "Let me apply more cream,"
I waited on the bed as he walked into the bathroom and grabbed some Shea Butter. A hiss escaped my lips when he messaged my bruised ass. Even though he was being really gentle, it didn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell.
"Hey, Ric," I called out to him. He hummed, gesturing for me to continue. "If I get you a backstage pass for the show, would you come to watch me live?"
"Fuck, yeah," He said, earning a smile from me. "I'll be there,"
After 7 hours of hair and makeup, I was headed to the red carpet in the Mercedes Benz Springer, barely able to sit down because of my attire. My stylist had picked a lavender satin dress with silver accents that matched my necklace, shoes, and heels. My brown hair had been tied into a high bun, which allowed my earrings to fully glisten.
My makeup team worked so hard to hide my bruises, and obviously, Tai wanted to know everything but I didn't say anything.
"Let's take a shot," She said, pouring a few shots and handing them to the team. "This is for good luck," I said, before we took the shots, feeling the alcohol burn the back of our throats.
As soon as I stepped out, the attention was mostly on me. Reporters, cameramen, and fans all turned my way, whispering about my attire. Instantly my security surrounded me and guided me closer to the red carpet. I waved at the fans as I passed them, while they held signs with my name on them. I had never experienced anything like this in my life, it was incredible.
Crossing my legs, I smile at the cameras, lifting my chin. Dozens of light pointed toward me, and it was hard not to squint my eyes.
"Selina, look this way!"
"Fuck him, turn to the right!"
"Ignore them! Look at your left right here!"
I didn't know which way to look so I only smiled in each direction for a few seconds before changing to the next. A few reporters grabbed my attention and I made my way to one, who was wearing a pink dress.
"I'm here with Selina Maxwell who looks stunning. We have to know, what are you wearing?" She asked me, handing over the microphone. "Valdrin Sahiti and the shoes are Mach & Mach,"
"They look amazing on you. Now, you weren't nominated for anything, how does that make you feel?"
"It's early. My album just came out so I wasn't expecting to be nominated. I'm really grateful to be performing because I get to show the world who I am,"
She nodded, "Well that sounds beautiful. Jack Harlow just recently told E! News that he has a little crush on you. What do you think about that?"
I rolled my eyes playfully earning a giggle from the reporter. My mind traveled to Ricardo, Jack was simply a boy compared to Daddy Ric. Even though we weren't in a relationship, we still shared a strong connection.
"Well we all have our childish crushes, don't we?"
"Is it mutual?"
I hesitated before shaking my head. "I'm afraid not," The fans behind the fence gasped, and I offered them an awkward smile.
When it was time, my security guards assisted me inside the ceremony and guided me to my seat.
I was sitting next to Summer Walker and Sabrina Carpenter.
We introduced ourselves and grabbed each other's numbers. I wanted more industry friends. Plus, I admired Summer and Sabrina. I texted Madison and Amala, and found out they were sitting on the other side, so there was no way to see them.
The ceremony started at 8, and Alicia Keys was the host. I wore the biggest smile on my face, watching as she sang her hit song Empire State of Mind on the piano.
"Grew up in a town that is famous as a place of movie scenes. Noise is always loud, there are sirens all around and the streets are mean,"
If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, that's what they say. Seeing my face in lights or my name in marquees found down on Broadway,"
"Even if it ain't all it seems, I got a pocketful of dreams. Baby, I'm from New York. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York,"
"These streets will make you feel brand new. Big lights will inspire you. Hear it for New York, New York, New York,"
The audience clapped and the lights on that stage dimmed out. Soon, Camilla Cabello walked out on the second stage. "Hello everyone. Now, it is time for our first award at the main ceremony. The nominations for Favorite Female Pop Artist are Ariana Grande, Doja Cat, Dua Lipa, Olivia Rodrigo, and Taylor Swift,"
I spotted Doja on the screen, and I tapped my heel nervously. I really wanted her to win this category, she's been killing it in the industry lately. But fuck, I loved Taylor, Ariana Olivia, and Dua. They were all incredible artists, this category would be close. It didn't matter who won, they all deserved it.
"And the AMA goes to...," She opened the envelope, smiling at the crowd. "Taylor Swift!"
I placed my hands together, watching as she stood up and adjusted her dress, stepping onto the stage.
"It is an honor being up here again," She mumbled, wiping a tear away. I placed my hand on my heart, sharing her happiness. "Honestly, everyone in this category is so badass. Ariana, Dua, Doja, and Olivia, are wonderful and their music helped me get through some serious stuff. I would like to thank my fans and my team, you guys are too good for me. Thank you,"
Everyone clapped again as she walked off. After a few more performances, BTS walked on stage, and I smiled at their outfits. They all looked incredible, it was iconic.
"The nominations for Favorite Male Pop Artist are Troye Sivan, Lil Nas X, The Kid LAROI, and Jack Harlow," Jung Kook smiled at the audience, earning a few cheers. Lord, he was sexy.
I saw Jack on the big screen, and a small smile placed itself on my lips.
"And the AMA goes to—," The audience watched as Jimin opened out the envelope, and purposely kept his mouth shut for a few seconds to build excitement.
"Jack Harlow!"
The cameras closed in on him as people cheered, calling out his name. He stood up from his seat which wasn't too far away from me, a small arrogant smirk resting on his lips. Making his way up to the stage, he thanked BTS after they handed the award to him.
"First off, I want to thank my manager and my team for making this a dream come true. Next, I want to thank my fans, you guys have always been my day ones, and I'll always love you. And Lastly, I want to thank Miss Selina Maxwell—," He said, and I felt my nerves begin to dance. A few gasps entered my ears.
"For blessing me with her presence tonight. I saw her walking in before, she looked real fine. I don't know where she is but shawty, come holla at me, real quick," His eyes scanned the audience until they connected with mine.
"You're crazy," I mouthed to him, seeing my face on the big screens. He only chuckled, running his tongue across his lip and mumbling a 'Yeah.'
When it was time, I lifted my dress and snuck backstage. There, I walked into my dressing room and began preparing for my performance. Tai was there and she reassured me everything was going to be fine.
After spending an hour getting ready, the stage managers made sure everything was perfect. They handed me my earpiece and microphone.
For my performance, I was wearing a beautiful pink dress my stylist picked out for me that matched my nails. My microphone was covered in jewels. On my left wrist sat my Cartier bracelets.
Quietly, I walked onto the main stage and settled my microphone on the stand. No one could see me because the lights weren't on, on my assigned stage. There was another performance on the side stage so the attention was over there.
The orchestra was dressed in white, matching the white satin drapes that covered the walls. The backup singers, drummer, and pianist were also dressed in white to match the theme. On the floor, there were red, pink, and white flowers scattered around. Everything looked so heavenly and angelic, it was perfect.
We all waited patiently as H.E.R performed Could've Been, a song that I know a little too well. When she was done, Bebe Rexha grabbed the attention. "This next performer is here to formally introduce herself to the world. Over the past few months, she has jump-started her career and influenced like no other. Please welcome Selina Maxwell!"
I could hear the orchestra start to play and soon the chandelier above me turned on, creating a beautiful golden glow. My lips parted at the audience, fuck, there were a shit ton of people here.
Just close your eyes, Selina. They're not here.
In my earpiece, the in-ear monitor kept beating, keeping the rhythm. The backup singers started humming, and I slowly bobbed my head.
"Verse 2,3,4,"
"All along you weren't with me. You said 'I don't want you here anymore, so leave me' I said, 'But how could I do that if you haven't freed me?'
"Pre-Chorus 2,3,4"
"Do you know, I still wear your leather jacket? It matches the knife you placed in my back, yeah,"
The orchestra played incredibly, creating the perfect vibe.
"I'm at your mercy but tell me would you come if I rang your line? You picked me up to throw me against the wall, yet you're still on my mind," The drums began to slowly take off, matching with the violins.
"Chorus 2, 3,4,"
I hold my arms out, my eyebrows furrowed together while I continued singing. "I didn't know I was replaceable but here you are with your new valentine. When you touched my skin, I knew you felt my heart rate. But us together is my Recipe for Hate,"
"Bridge 2,3,4,"
"Ever since you changed, we don't have fun these days. And this used to be our world but look what you've done," I started swaying my body slowly, just as the background dancers did.
"Chorus 2,3,4,"
"When you stopped loving me, I believed it just was a phrase. I guess when the lights went out, it meant you're my Recipe of Hate,"
When my verse ended, I smiled at the audience, picked up my dress, and walked off stage. The audience clapped, and I could hear a few people cheering for me.
The orchestra continued playing just as they did in rehearsal. From the large screens, I could see the stage lights that began to shine on them. I was happy they were getting their recognition, they were unbelievable tonight.
When their solo ended, the chandelier flickered and soon turned off.
They grabbed their instruments and walked off stage.
After completing the biggest performance of my life, I hugged my team, the orchestra, Tai, and my backup singers. I could still feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, tonight was magical.
Walking through the hallways, I run my eyes on the names on the dressing room doors. Some other performers were Chris Brown, Megan Thee Stallion, Dua Lipa, SZA, etc. I had never been in one place where there were so many celebrities, and it was crazy to think that I was eligible just to perform at the AMAS.
"Dove,"
I turned around, spotting Ricardo leaning against the wall. He was wearing a black dress shirt with the first few buttons open, revealing his chest tattoos. His dark hair had been slicked back but a few curls were falling on his forehead. He wore a watch on his left wrist that matched the rings on his tattooed fingers. My lips parted subtly, he was attractive and he knew it.
"There you are," I said, his arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer. His lips met mine for a slow kiss, and my cheeks began to burn. Instant butterflies.
"You were incredible," He told me. "Absolutely majestic,"
"Thanks," I said, his hand cupping my ass. Our lips connected once again, and a small giggle from me could be heard. This was the first time, I had actually felt happy with someone and we weren't even dating.
"The boy... who is he?" He asked, his jaw ticking.
"Oh that's Jack Harlow, he's just got a small crush on me," I only shrugged.
"Where is he?" He looked me up and down, adjusting the rings on his tattooed fingers. I noticed how he made sure they were all close to his knuckles, almost as if he wanted to fight for any reason tonight. My breath hitched in the back of my throat,
My eyes trailed past him and I spotted my parents walking around like they owned the place. "Oh shit, my parents are here," I pushed him into the nearest closet, just before they saw me. I knew my dad would literally beat the living shit out of me and Ricardo if he ever found out about us.
"Mom, Dad. You guys are... here!" I said, pulling them for a group hug. "How did you get here? I thought I used the jet?"
"You forget I have more than one jet, Selina. The other one was just stationed in Italy," Dad said, a small smile resting on his lips. "Let's talk about your performance. Fucking hell,"
"You were beautiful, honey," Mom said. I wiped her tears away, suddenly feeling my vision grow blurry. Whenever I saw her cry, I cried too.
"You guys didn't have to come all the way here,"
"Of course we did. Our daughter is performing at the AMAS. Thanks to your father, we were in the first row," She smiled, placing her hand on dad's chest.
"Because I'm Reid fucking Maxwell,"
"We've got to work on your ego, dear," Just then, her eyes traveled to my shoulder and she frowned. "What's that?"
I looked down, spotting a bruise. It was a love-bite from yesterday. Luckily, it wasn't that big so someone had to be really close to even see it. But of course, my mom noticed.
"I burned myself," I shrugged, feeling my throat tighten. Dad chuckled, running his hands through his grayish hair. "You're also so clumsy. She must have gotten it from you—,"
Mom glared at him and he quickly wiped the smile off his face. Clearing his throat, he turned back to me. "You should try to be more careful,"
"I should,"
"Now, who's the boy?"
"What?" I asked, feeling my heart drop.
"The one that had a crush on you? Are you dating him?"
"Dad, if you think for one second I would ever date someone because they shouted me out on stage, you're wrong," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He nodded, caressing his beard. "Remember, what I said. No boys, Selina. I'll fucking kill them,"
"Yeah," I breathed out. "No boys,"
"Ignore him. Please bring a boy home. I want to be a grandmother," Mom assured, earning an eye roll from my father. "Blondie, she's only 21,"
Which is why I take my birth control religiously.
"I know but it doesn't help to start searching for the love of your life now," She said, looking at the bruise again. "Unless you've already found him,"
"No," I said, smiling at Dad who only narrowed his eyes. "Honestly, I've just been so caught up with my career, I haven't had time for a guy,"
Liar. You literally had rough sex with Ricardo yesterday with the window curtains open so everyone could see you.
She nodded her head, and I played with my fingers nervously. Dad kissed my forehead, "Now, after a 6-hour flight, can't the old man get directions to the bathroom?"
"Yeah, there's one right there," I said pointing to the door. He nodded, excusing himself and walking off, leaving me alone with Mom. She tilted her head to the side. "You know, I'm an attorney, right? I see through lies,"
"And that's why you're so successful," I said changing the subject. She raised her right eyebrow suspiciously but kept her lips pressed together.
Dad came out shortly, and I subtly urged them to head out. Finally, they said their goodbyes and walked out. He placed his hand on mom's back, earning a giggle from her.
She was always so ticklish.
I released a sigh, opening the closet door for Ricardo and pulling me out. "What the fuck?"
"I'm sorry but my dad was here,"
"You think I'm scared of your father?" He asked, and I shrugged. "You should be. He killed his own dad," Ricardo only chuckled, sending a shiver down my spine.
"Anyway," I said. "Now, that they're gone. I want food. Buy me some?"
"I'll buy you your dinner and then I'll get mine," He smirked and I already knew tonight was going to be long.
•••••
Selina and Ricardo leaving the freaking AMAS to get food is a whole mood. She really performed then dipped😭
Anyway, thanks for the support.
Best, Niki.