It was him.
The boy who smelled like chocolates and cakes.
In the dream, Damsel was sitting in a field of ready wheat,
the stalks bended lazily in the wind and he marveled at the grains. Each one is distinct and though different from the others, still perfectly formed.
He ran his hand along the edge to feel the combination of rough and smooth, it was unreal, with the sound of birds tweeting, so calm, it was just him standing in a golden farm, yet the seclusion was addictive.
He held his face upward to feel the warm light of the mid summer day. The air smelled just right and the birds fly in an almost cloudless sky.
Where am I?
Damsel thought.
He walked aimlessly through the field of wheat, pushing some out of his way. The crunches that sounded beneath his feet when he stepped among the harvests; the laughs that bubbled in his throat when he jumped forward to mess around and land on a cushion of wheat.
until his foot got stuck,
suddenly a waft of panic jumped into him as he rapidly looked at his stuck foot,
He felt nails digging into his feet; needles poking around in his veins.
but there was nothing.
Though when he looked back up, he didn't see a wheat farm, but he saw a forest,
he saw trees hanging in the sky as the saturated green leaves waved at the wind, the birds were tweeting again and this time, he was barefoot in healthy grass. Damsel smiled at the sight, it was more familiar than before, he recognized this place, it was his favorite childhood hiding spot, the forest in the border, away from the packhouse but also near.
There was a lake that run along the side, and there were flowers blooming at every angle, the waft of fresh rain on grass was all around him; the dozens of flowerbeds among each path he took; he slid down the hill towards the lake, rolling down as bits of grass and petals got stuch among his clothes; it was only when he landed at the bottom of the hill that he felt a little empty.
Infront of him was a pretty dandelion, he kneeled down to pick it; but everything slowed.
The moment the flower's stem snapped from its root,
his dream glitched.
What?
What the fuck?
His conscience came running back to him. The fear sat on Damsel like a pillow over his mouth and nose. Enough air gets by it, allowing his body to keep functioning, but it's crippling all the same.
He spun around to see his forest burning into ashes,
A ghastly orange grin, tearing through the verdant woodland. Unfettered flames, devouring hungrily, licking and lapping at the coppice, twisting and swaying in a dance without rhythm. Blackened bodies, charred bones, unsettled souls, snatched before their time.
Screams engulfed his ears,
By his side, the faces of his relatives were distorted, melting under the flames; their corpses lying under his feet as if they were the previous flowers ordered among the grass.
Once again fear found him. It spoke to him in its cackling voice. It told his legs to go weak, his stomach to lurch and his heart to ache.
The gore, the sick smell that coated his lungs as a rancid tar, felt reminiscent of nightmares he'd felt so trapped within.
But his heart had stopped, not because of the horrid figures screaming, clawing him down, sinking him into the surface he stood on; but because the face he saw infront of him; identical to his own; older, gentler.
His birth dad.
That gentle smile faced him, and in the next second; its neck twisted, cracked; the sound of a deafening car honk screamed along his eardrums; he heard every crack of a bone, every twist of a joint; every splutter of blood; all while that man's eyes stared into his very own.
The scream was primal. It had a raw intensity to it that told of urgency, of desperate need.
That man screamed towards him.
"Stop.."
"Stop, please, stop."
His neck twisted again and again, those tattered limbs moved like a skeleton towards Damsel; the man's eyeballs almost potruding out; he had that awful smile along his face; his tongue slipping out of his mouth and landing by Damsel's feet.
"STOP!"
The sound of a car's siren terrorized his ears again.
It came back again in a flash, running over his dad's body.
How many times had the scene repeated?
Damsel was out of breath; he was screaming, yelling, he couldn't wake up, he couldn't move; he couldn't do anything; His shoulders shook and he could barely land a breath; his heart felt so strained that it was as if he was drowning in a pool of chemicals. He could not breath.
Then he saw someone.
Standing in the flames, not affected whatsoever.
His face was blurred, no matter how he looked he couldn't see his features, all except for his height and frame, he didn't talk, nor move, he just stood still, facing Damsel.
Damsel's feet hesitated, he didn't know why, who was he, was he the one letting him see these scenes? he was standing over there, watching as the man with broken limbs terrorize me. it was him, wasn't it? Damsel didn't know what drove him to take a step forward towards the figure, but it was as if his legs willed him to move like it was a need.
Like it was all that his life depended on.
When he took the first step, suddenly the flames went out.
He flinched as he just saw them disappear.
His face faltered as he looked at the still figure again, he lifted his leg, and took another step. The screeching sound of the car stopped.
This time, the dead bodies on the ground disappeared.
And with every step he took, the more his nightmare disappeared step by step, like the figure was the antidote rather than the poison, like he was the angel rather than Satan. And a thought ran over his head.
If he were to be next to that man, then nothing else in the world would matter.
It was that thought that filled his head as he was a step away from him; only then, did he turn around. His birth dad was smiling at him.
It's not real.
You're a nightmare disguised as hope. You bring the worst thoughts to my brain; at moments when I wished you were alive were the moments I delved into my most horrible thoughts; it would be better to remove you as my blind hope. You don't exist; I don't want to think about you anymore; I don't want to keep my mind occupied on something that will never exist.
Damsel took another step.
When he took that step, the only thing that remained was the forest and lake.
But nothing else happened, the figure still stood like it was stationed in place.
Damsel looked around confused, it was the same gorgeous sight from before yet it seemed more empty, like there was something more he was supposed to be seeing, so when he looked back at the figure, that need dawned on him again, his muscles moved on their own.
Never had he felt so right in his life.
he lifted his hand, and captured the figure's.
It was comfortable.
Damsel held his hand, tightly and comfortably.
Imagining if the figure left, would the fire appear again?
Would the world break down?
Maybe every second of his reality would infiltrate this blissful dream,
He didn't want that, he wanted to stay with him.
For the floodgates of tears will open again, The terrifying possibility he could see those thing again. And the sadness that'll will occur that he wished would never happen.
Then the figure moved, Damsel gasped at his sudden ability to move, but the figure merely intertwined their fingers, the dream boy held their intertwined hands up, together Infront of Damsel to see, as if he were showcasing them.
Damsel raised a brow, looking at the figure, but the next actions left him speechless.
The man cupped Damsel's cheeks, bringing his face towards him; he rubbed the tips of their noses together teasingly; and Damsel felt his heart spasm.
Dream boy kissed him.
and the world fell away.
It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below his ear, his thumb caressing Damsel's cheek as their breaths mingled. It was like that for a bit, slow; and calm, Damsel broke the kiss to laugh for a second, Dream boy was a little clumsy. Dream boy seemed to sense this, he pouted a little; chasing Damsel's lips to capture them in his own again; he bit against Damsel's bottom lip, as if asking for entrace. The temperature picked up.
But what really got Damsel was dream boy's smell.
At his fragrance his heartbeat slowed to the kind of rhythm usually reserved for the deepest of dreams.
He smelled like the familiar baked goods and chocolate he had smelled before, the scent was so familiar to one he had fallen for before. Damsel couldn't imagine anything more loving. Dream boy wrapped him in a warm swaddle of his chest and arms. Damsel didn't want to leave. It felt as if when he were in his arms all his pain went away - mental and physical, mostly the depressing pain. If he could only stay in his arms forever, safe from the his situation. One could only hope.
Damsel felt like he was melting; the inside of his mouth was given no rest; he felt a cold touch slip under the hem of his shirt; palming the skin of his waist as he was pulled closer; Dream boy pinched Damsel's jaw, his thumb and index finger digging into the flesh of his cheeks as he held his head in place with only 1 hand. He slipped his tongue inside to prod against the walls of his cheeks; he even started abusing his tongue for fuck's sake; Damsel knew he was doing it on purpose; he was perhaps sulking because Damsel had laughed at him earlier.
It was too familiar,
like..
The boy in the hospital,
Damsel gasped as he pushed himself away to look at the face, it was unblurred, but he could only see the chin before he was dragged back into reality.
Wait!
Damsel's eyes practically spasmed open,
he was met with the sight of the ceiling, he appeared again. It was the same dream boy that engulfed him in the hospital, the scent, the figure, everything was the same, if only he were momentarily there for just one more second, he could've caught sight of the face that became unblurred for a single second!
Damsel's face flushed with the memory of the kiss, he licked his lips as his ears turned red, fuck.
Was dream boy actually a.. a boy?
Why would he kiss Damsel?
What the fuck?
Damsel wanted to lift his hands to brush his finger over his lip, yet he realized he couldn't budge at all, like his arms were chained down. Damsel's eyes widened as he lifted his head slightly, looking down at his torso only to see a hand laying across his chest, over both his arms.
What the fuck?
What?
Oh.
Oh, it was Darren.
Right, this wasn't home.
Damsel cursed himself, but when he tried to turn over to face the figure, he was pushed back down again by the weight of the arm, Damsel was throwing curses at the meaty arm, but Darren next to him stirred in his sleep.
"Stop moving.." A deep voice groaned, he moved his hand to pull Damsel's body even closer to his chest, he pulled Damsel's head towards him so he could place his chain atop his head, and to have damsel burying his head into the Darren's neck. He felt the other take a deep breath in, as if smelling him.
What the fuck?
He thought he was overthinking it for a second, but Darren's hands were under his shirt, practically hugging his body into a lock; and he was sniffing his neck like a psychopath.
Damsel screamed.
Damsel screamed.
"What the fuck are you doing!"
Damsel yelled with his eyes closed tightly shut, not even wanting to take a glance at the sight next to him before he yanked the arm off of him with terrifying strength, he kicked the figure with all his force and he didn't even stop, he kicked and kicked until a yell pierced through their mouth and Damsel didn't even wait for his pleas, with one final kick a loud thump on the floor was heard.
A softer voice groaned, then, followed by Darren's familiar voice, "Fucking hell, what are you doing?"
"Ow-.." Samuel gasped.
A mop of ginger hair popped up from the edge of the bed, Damsel's face paled when Samuel struggled to sit up, blinking his confused eyes as he massaged the elbow he had fallen on.
"Fuck! You gave me goosebumps!"
"What did I even do?" Darren groaned, he scurried to see the wound on his little brother's elbow, frowning as he threw a pillow at Damsel; "For god's sake, look what you did!"
Damsel was about to flare up again until his eyes landed on Samuel, he closed his mouth and moved to help him up; but Darren blocked him; swatting his hand out of the way.
"Are you okay?" Damsel asked, "Does your head hurt? You passed out yesterday."
Samuel blinked; staring up at him.
The blurriness from his sleep had him see spinning light for a bit.
Then he blinked again.
And Damsel's face was the first thing he saw.
Samuel almost jumped from his spot; his hands started trembling; and Darren took the initiative to hide him behind his back; thinking Samuel was scared of Damsel from before.
And Damsel's heart broke. "Hello."
Samuel's eyes were about to pop out of his eyes as he peeped his head out from behind Darren, his eyes washing over Damsel.
His gaze was as if he was swallowing Damsel up whole, the kid's eyes didn't move an inch and he simply stared at the alpha's face Infront of him. Damsel furrowed his brows, shoving Darren to get past as he crouched down Infront of the boy, "Do you remember what happened yesterday?"
".. Y-Yesterday?" The boy's voice trembled backing away, he stumbled a little; and Damsel gripped him by the hand to pull him back to balance. "U-Umm!!"
"Fuck, why are you holding my brother like that?" Darren pulled Damsel back by the hood of his hoodie, forcing the two to let go of each others hands.
"I- What?" Damsel was flabbergasted, "I caught him from falling-"
"Stop, you're making him uncomfortable."
Damsel pressed his lips together, turning back to face Samuel, who was visibly jittery; and he acknowledged that his action really did seem to make him uncomfortable. Darren let go of the hood.
A tinge of red flushed across his cheeks as Samuel remembered the contents of what had happened; he.. he and Damsel..
were really close to eachother. >//<
Damsel leaned down so close infront of him, and then Samuel had fainted.
His breath got caught in his throat, and his eyes darted to the scowling face of Darren next to them; somehow, he even forgot to take exhale. He had to hide it from his brother! He.. he did like Damsel, but Darren didn't like Damsel. it was just like those books he read! He couldn't believe it was happening in real life.
Samuel shyly nodded. His eyes were more so concentrate on the color of Damsel's eyes though.
"For another 4 months or so, the three of us will be living here, when Darren finds his mate; You won't have to live with Carter any longer." Damsel explained slowly, "You can't go outside or be found until then; are you okay with staying in hiding, will you feel claustrophobic?"
".. Um.. why is this happening?"
Damsel was honest, there was no point in hiding anything from the kid, it was better for him to be wary rather than to be unaware of the current situation; "Carter will use your safety to make Darren kill his mate."
"... W-What..?"
"If you don't want your brother's life ruined, I suggest you be obedient for the 4 months of your life."
"Prince, shut the fuck up, You're pissing me off with the way you word shit." Darren lost it, "Samuel, he didn't mean it that way, what's going on is basica--"
".. No, um.. I-I know.." Samuel spoke, barely over a whisper,
"I.. I already heard about what's going to happen from the pack members; I know, and-.. I.. "
the next words he spoke froze Damsel, froze him in his space just like the moment he had figured out Carter's secret when Darren spoke about Sarah.
"I.. I really really don't want to be the weight that holds you back anymore."
Those were the words Samuel said as faced Darren.
The look on Darren's face at that moment.
Samuel knew.
Knew of what happened to his sister, knew the moment he had become his older brother's biggest regret; the trauma in his brother's memories. Knew of the fact he was a carefully plotted chess piece that kept his brother in checkmate; ridding him of any choices to make.
Samuel felt a heavy weight in his throat, his eyes were stinging; and he couldn't control the few tears that slithered down.
And Darren felt like cold, icy water had been poured over his corpse.
"I'm so h-happy.. Hic.." He hiccupped as he covered his face, with his sleeves,
"You've never pulled me down, it's not your fault." Darren's face had paled, he pulled Samuel into a tight hug, rubbing circles into his back as he affirmed, countless times; "Samuel, I promise, I promise there's not been a moment I've blamed you. It's not your fault, it's not mine. It's nobody's except Father's."
Darren supported his back with one arm, and let his hand stroke Samuel's hair, his breathing slowed.
Samuel had always been weak in the heart, and emotional; at this moment, Damsel saw how the two brothers treated each other as support mechanisms.
"I.. I won't go outside, I'll stay, I'll stay for as long as I have to, I promise, I don't ever want to be there again, ever, ever." Samuel said through a series of hiccups and sobs; he hugged his brother's waist.
"I hope, I really hope you find your mate, I want to be a normal family."
"Yes." Darren hesitated to speak, he stroked Samuel's back; his chin atop his head,
"Me too."
Darren had started looking up at the ceiling, perhaps to stop his tears from running down.
He had to be strong at least Infront of his little brother.
Damsel stepped out of the bedroom;
closing the door gently to let the two have their moment.
Thousands of thoughts were running through his brain, sirens; but none of that mattered now.
They were out of there.
There was no going back.
Damsel wiped his eyes,
He had to find his mate.
The mate who could bring the fire and pain around him to a stop; the mate who could stop all else with a kiss;
He needed to find him.
And he prayed to Luna that Darren could find his.
'
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[a/n: He needed to find him. ; Damsel accepting his mate's existence as a male for the first time.