A/N: Thank you all for sticking with me and being so patient. It's just been a really hard few months and it can be hard to see the brighter future with so much going on.
On a better note, though, I've started my editing phase of Theirs to Claim with hopes of getting it published physically one day. I think my interest in writing is starting to come back a little bit, and it's helping with my motivation a little (ie. making merch and trying to write longer chapters). Either way, thank you guys for being here. It just makes things feel a little lighter.
Chapter 34 : Caleb
Thursday, December 8th, 2022
I sense a pair of eyes lingering on me as I slowly wake from my drug induced state, feeling floaty above all else thanks to the meds currently pumping throughout my body.
It took me a while to become aware of the presence of this someone else, however as I rolled over onto my good side, I knew without a doubt in the world who it was.
My darling.
The sight of her curvy silhouette was all I could make out in the dark, her arms crossed over her midsection like she was physically trying to hold together the broken pieces of her soul. Whatever words I could've once managed escaped me in this moment, wishing I could take away her pain with a single touch.
With my mind clearing, I begin to notice the more subtle hints of her grief; the slight trembles to her body, the shaky intakes of breath, her hesitancy to look at me.
Madelyn Adams was so painfully my everything, along with the dissolving walls of her heart.
"Cal—" Her voice breaks before she can even manage to utter my name, the action of me lifting the bedsheets speaking as a silent invitation for her to join. Even with the stressed seconds of hesitation, I listen as soft footfalls land against the carpeted floor, her scent warming me the moment she wordlessly nestles into my side.
My arm doesn't even get the chance to fully wrap around her before Madelyn's sobs consume the little space between us, breaking free and wracking her body in a way that tore into the vulnerability she's suppressed for so long.
I knew it was coming, we all did, but what was even worse was that I knew this barely even brushed the surface of the pain bottled up inside of her.
"I've got you, darling." I whisper into her hair as she merely clutches me harder, my chest growing wet with her tears. Madelyn had been holding on for so long because it was the only way she knew how to survive, but something about this moment was different from all of the ones before; chapters of our past were finally coming to a close.
"I hate you!" Madelyn cried against me, unable to stop now that she'd begun. "Caleb, I hate you so fucking much." She continued, but even she knew her words were growing shallow with each tremble expelled from her body.
Unknowing of what to say, I simply remained quiet, stroking my hand across her back while trying to soothe her in the only ways I knew how to. Madelyn's cries broke me, yet I knew the significance each fallen tear held—the first step of her recovery.
"And even worse..." She whispered, her voice beginning to drift away. "I've never been able to stop loving you... Any of you."
Feeling her exhausted sigh span against my chest, I simply pressed my lips to her forehead before tucking her in closer.
I know, darling. I know.
___________
Friday, December 9th, 2022
I woke up to the feeling of long, gentle strokes passing through my hair, a familiar smell encasing my every nerve in a sensation that felt like home.
Distantly I was able to feel the soreness of my eyes and a lingering headache at the base of my skull, but the only thing that truly captured my mind was him.
Pulling my gaze upwards, I found Caleb's icy stare focused into the pages a book, his chest naked and hair tousled in a natural, relaxed way. It took my brain some time to adjust back into reality, lost in the vision of us together, but soon the memories of the last time I was looking into his blue eyes hit me, as well as the sight of tan bandages wrapping his midsection.
"Caleb." I breathe, moving to sit up as his hand slipped away from my hair.
"I was wondering when you were going to cease your ogling." He smirked in an entirely prideful way, even with his eyes still trained on his book. "Any longer and I might've caught you drooling." Caleb's smirk developed into a full grown smile, looking so at ease despite recent events.
With me at his side, he looked as though he didn't have a fear in the world.
"You're bleeding." I shake my head as the sight of red pulls me from my daze, leaving a bitter taste along my tongue and drying my mouth of all words. This was my fault. I led them to Caleb, and my only excuse was that I just couldn't keep myself away from him.
Scrambling onto my knees in a panicked frenzy, I instinctively place a hand over his soaked bandages, feeling his sharp intake of breath whilst his muscles flex beneath my touch.
With an apologetic wince, my face twists up as realization instantly settles into my core.
"Shit, sorry." Words fly past my mouth, my body moving faster than my brain could catch up to. I was already positioned to slip off of the bed, still clothed in yesterday's disaster, when I felt a gentle touch grip my elbow.
That touch gave me my first true breath of air since I saw the bandages.
"You need help." I say quietly as a tear falls down my cheek, but Caleb only brushes it away with his thumb before pulling me to lay on his lap.
"No, I need you, Mads." He shakes his head as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, and I couldn't help but feel like I didn't deserve him as my head laid against his thigh.
He'd given me his life and never asked for anything in return.
Scratch that. I know I don't deserve him, and yet as time continues to pass between us, it makes me realize that it shouldn't matter.
If I spend the rest of my life running, I would be no better than my dad. What separates me from him is that I think I'm finally ready to fight. To truly fight.
I still can't decide what that will look like—giving things with these men another shot, or something entirely different... either way, having Caleb's heart stop before me made me realize how painfully short time truly is.
I can't change our past or my decisions or their actions.
I can't change our pain and anger and mistakes.
There is one thing in my life I can change though, one thing I have the power to control, and it's the one thing I've spent too long running from.
I need to choose, and I choose them.
"You're thinking too much." Caleb's soothing voice soon pulls me back to my surroundings, the soft brush of his knuckles along my forehead slowly easing my tension. "Your books are all still here, darling. Go grab one and join me in bed. We can play hooky for the day." He ends with a little wink when he finally sees my reluctant smile at the image.
Rolling myself off of his bed, the brush of fabric that lands right above my knees makes me realize I was wearing one of his shirts still, one I wore specifically because it smelled like him.
Those days with Caleb in the hospital were... words aren't even capable of explaining how hard it was.
Seeing his carefree and happy state in front of me, so at ease and so... normal. Something just felt wrong about embracing relief when so much has gone so wrong.
Every instinct wants me to never leave his side now, terrified it could always be our last time together. But that would only be me running, just in a different way.
"It's not playing hooky when you have an actual excuse." I tease while placing a hand on my hip, forcing myself to try. For them, it was worth it. It always has been, and I guess it just took me some time to accept it.
"Meh, tomato tomato." Caleb smiles before sitting up straighter in his bed. "Now move that cute ass of yours before I get tempted to punish it."
Hiding my blush with the back of my hand, all I offer is a disbelieving head shake before grabbing the closest book to me. Not even bothering to check the title, I toss it onto the tousled comforter just to crawl back over it.
Positioning myself over his body, Caleb's eyes follow mine as my lips press lightly over his bandages, not ending until every part of his sacrifice was covered.
"Thank you..." I whisper. "For saving my life."
Feeling his hand cup the side of my face, he guides me back up to his side before placing the abandoned book back in my hand, head resting against his shoulder.
"You may not realize it Mads, but you saved my life too."
- End of Chapter 34 -
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