CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE RULES OF SELINA
SAVANNAH, GEORGIA
1 week later
The weather in the morning matched my mood—Rainy, blue and dark. I was the first to wake up, and it wasn't long until I found myself at the studio writing lyrics. Thunder roared around me but my mind was only on the notepad in front of me. The music video I recorded with my team for the song Recipe of Hate had 802,793 views along with 13,829 comments. My career was slowly taking off and I didn't know if I was excited or scared.
I had read compliments about my voice and they always formed a smile on my face. But people had started writing hate about me. Constantly saying that my body was too this and too that, and they didn't think I deserved my new fame. They believed my parents had something to do with my sudden success, and I wasn't authentic. Even though I had dealt with insults from people all my life, the words hurt. I was just in a bad place right now and my view of myself wasn't in a positive light.
The incident with Ricardo didn't help either. For the last 7 days, I've been thinking deeply and hurting. Although he was never mine, it hurt to see him so interested in someone else the second he belittled me. Why wasn't I good enough? Why didn't he see me the way he saw her?
"So you know the schedule right? We have to finish This is not about Us by this week, and then you'll do Boyfriend with Doja next," I broke out of my trance, facing Tj and giving him a nod. My label has organized all of my collabs and that was the one thing that was bringing me happiness.
"This is what Rihanna sent us," He assured, clicking a button on one of the monitors. Shortly after, a piano began playing softly and Rihanna's Prayer sounded through the speakers.
"Heavenly Father, I am worthy and I am strong.
I will not allow myself to be treated poorly by any man.
I will not kneel for anyone and I will stand strong on my opinions,"
Lord, I thank you for all you've done, and everything that I've been through has only made me stronger.
Love is patient, love is kind," The piano pitches gradually increased, bringing even more depth to the Prayer.
"After I find myself, I will find the person that will make me even happier.
I pray that there will be no more life lessons, and this next relationship is the final one for me.
I speak this new relationship into existence and I know more blessings are coming my way.
Amen,"
A deep note on the piano played, sending shivers down my body. Tj and I glanced at each other with parted lips and widened eyes. "Jesus, that gives me chills," He said, running his hands through his strands.
"That was beautiful," I whispered, my voice barely audible. Rihanna was someone I've always looked up to, so being able to work with her was a lifetime dream.
"She even gave you her manager's number in case you want to meet up," Tj assured, showing me the email he was sent. "Congratulations, Selina. You're gaining the attention of A-list celebrities,"
After taking an uber to Ricardo's shop, I adjusted my dark hair, a sigh escaping my lips. I hadn't been back here since last week and I just couldn't pick up my car. Finally, I walked inside, my hands in my back pockets. Jared looked up from his magazine and straightened his back. "He's not in today,"
Right, of course, he isn't. I didn't want to admit that I wanted to see Ricardo because I meant nothing to him.
"I'm just here for the car," I assured him, my eyes glancing around the auto shop. He nodded, looking through his record log, before looking back at me. "Ah, The Mercedes. I'll bring it out for you,"
"Thank you, Jared," I said, playing with my fingers awkwardly. He walked to the back and said I should meet him in front so I did. Shortly after, he pulled my car up and handed me the keys.
"Hello again," I said, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, playfully. After getting in, my hands ran across the steering wheel and contentment washed through my veins. Soon, I rolled my window down and faced Jared.
"So?" I whispered, playing with my hair. "Where did he go?" The man hesitated but when I placed my hands on my window and offered him a smile.
Finally, he sighed. "He went out with this woman a couple of hours ago. I don't exactly remember her name but she had red hair and tattoos,"
I nodded my head, a sour taste in my mouth. I didn't know why I gave Ricardo so much power over me. It was clear I wasn't his type, and he would never take me seriously.
Was I not pretty enough?
Could he see that my arms weren't shaved or did he dislike my nose? Was my hair too dark? Would he notice me if I bleached my hair? Or was it my complexion? Mariah was pale, and I naturally had tanned skin from my father.
Maybe, it was my body. I knew I wasn't skinny or tall like the woman he liked. Maybe he looked at me and grew disgusted at my curves.
It killed me.
I placed my hands on my stomach, feeling a small pouch just under my belly button. People had told me this was where my organs were but I didn't believe them. I had girls on Instagram with flat stomachs, I wanted what they had.
My mind traveled back to the words of affection my parents used to say to me. Slowly, confidence began to seep through my veins again. I hated behind insecure because it made me vulnerable. The truth was it was Ricardo's loss anyway.
I'm a Maxwell, and the Maxwell girls have unprecedented beauty.
Mariah wasn't even all of that. Sure she had the body but I didn't know why he was so attractive to her. Maybe he needed to be reminded of what he's missing—what he could have with me. Here he was wasting time with other bitches, he needed to realize my worth. I needed to get into his mind, and I knew exactly how to do it.
As I started my car, Jared backed away awkwardly. I pulled my car out of the parking lot, a small smirk on my lips.
"She may be prettier than my Versace heels, but she's not prettier than me," I whispered to myself.
I stared at the number on my phone, Ricardo's number. I had one of my private investors find all of his information, including where he lived. So if I wanted to make a stop I could, but I wouldn't. Not yet at least.
I sat on my bed wearing nothing but red lingerie and a sheer robe with feathers at the end. The bralette did nothing to cover my nipples and my piercings showed through the lace. My tattoo was also evident, and my hair was curled at the ends.
I took another puff of my blunt, leaning my head back and blowing the smoke into the air. Fuck, I love weed.
After discarding the blunt, my finger hovered over the call button. Before I knew it, the phone was at my ear. At first, he didn't answer so I rolled my eyes and called him again.
"I swear to fuck, I'm not interested in buying shit from you... Fucking Telemarketers,"
When his voice entered my ears, I sank my teeth into my lower lip, playing with the ends of my hair. My nerves began to dance but I didn't care, I needed to be confident to show him what he could have. "Did you know I am thinking of you?"
"Selina," A exhale escaped from his lips, and I could just tell he was getting frustrated. I affected him, he just needed to realize it. He was the most beautiful man to ever bless me with his presence, I needed him.
"I told you nothing but the truth. You're wasting my time," He said only earning a chuckle from me once I grabbed my dildo from my bedside table. My hands traveled up and down my body until I pulled my panties off slowly. "How was your date? Did you think about me while you were with her?"
"I don't have to tell you shit, little girl,"
"Are you alone?" I whispered, tilting my head to the side.
"Why are you calling me this late?" He asked but I only ignored him. My legs spread open and I guided my hands to my entrance, feeling passion run through my veins. "Did you know I'm touching myself right now?"
The line went silent for a few seconds and I was afraid he had ended the phone call on me. When I heard him curse, a smirk made its way to my face. "Selina, I'm not fucking attracted to you. Haven't I made myself clear? Stop trying to get with me,"
I sank the tip of the dildo inside of me, throwing my head back as I imagined Ricardo here with me, bringing me more pleasure. A small moan left my mouth, and I buried it further inside of me. "Keep talking,"
"You're insufferable,"
"Come on, baby," I continued pumping the dildo, cupping my breast with my left hand. I closed my eyes, swiping my tongue across my bottom lip. "Stroke it for me,"
After a few silent seconds, I heard shuffling on the other side and the sound of a belt unclasping. "Me estás volviendo loco," He whispered, his voice barely audible. (You're going to be the death of me)
The toy slid inside of me, repeatedly. Every time I pulled it out, I would thrust it back inside, refusing to give myself any time to recover.
"Oh fuck," Ricardo croaked out. The phone call consisted of moans and groans from both ends, he was touching himself as well.
"I want to see you," He suddenly said, and before I knew it, he was face timing me. I answered, soon coming face to face with Ricardo who stood in his large bathroom. I felt my breath hitch in the back of my throat, and a throbbing between my legs. Tattoo's covered Ricardo's golden complexion but my eyes traveled down to his abs. He took care of his body and it showed. Expensive gold chains sat around his neck, ones that I imagined using my finger to pull him closer as he buried himself deep inside of me. I caught sight of his v-line and licked my lips at the sight. He had his phone on his thigh, looking down at me as water dripped down his golden skin.
Fuck, he just had a shower.
"You see me?" I asked, moving the camera lower and lower while showing him my body. His eyes followed my every move, and a giggle escaped my lips. "You see how horny you make me?"
I held the phone to the side, refusing to show him what was in between my legs. He could only see a tiny portion of the dildo sliding inside of my walls. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip and his arm thrusted every second. Based on his movements, I could tell he was jerking off like his dick hurt.
"Move the phone lower," He demanded. I moaned, a small smirk resting on my lips. "Beg me,"
"Fuck you," Ricardo cursed, his voice strained. I moved my hips along the dildo, closing my eyes while he whispered my name repeatedly.
"I'm going to have you begging me for me," I told him, twisting my nipple piercing with my fingers. "You want to hear me cum, baby?"
The truth was, I wasn't anywhere near cumming. I didn't exactly know how to make myself orgasm but I needed him to hear my sounds of pleasure. Ricardo moaned, throwing his head back. "Fuck yes. Dove, if you keep making those pretty little moans, I'm going to—,"
I ended the phone call.
I rolled my eyes, pulling out the dildo and putting my panties back on. Even though this was part of the plan, it was the hardest. Because here I was unsatisfied with. myself and still horny as fuck. But I had to bypass my desire to increase his.
When his number flashed on my phone once again, I smiled softly to myself.
Now, I was all up in his mind.